


The Diamond Authority

by roronoapedro



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 136,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27782977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roronoapedro/pseuds/roronoapedro
Summary: What Steven wants doesn't matter. There is only Diamond.
Kudos: 17





	1. PROLOGUE - Reparations

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before, and edited during, Steven Universe Future's original broadcast. The story touches on a lot of the same notes, but that's mostly a consequence of trying to figure out how Steven's life would change over the years.  
> Basically, the canon diverges after the Movie, so Future never happened.

White Diamond hated Era 3.

The humming of the Bust Ship warping across hyperspace kept her mind comfortably numb, but she would rather not be there. The road to redemption was a seemingly unending one, and had she known this was going to be the case, maybe Steven's words wouldn't have felt so right when he invaded her privacy and overthrew her empire. If only Yellow and Blue didn't love the kid so much, she might even feel in a position to make an argument for the good old days.

White sighed. She didn't really believe that. This extended apology tour was just very taxing on her mind.

"Pearl, what is our next stop?" She asked.

When asked, White Diamond tried implying there was a subtle difference between the way she treated Pink's old Pearl before and the way she treated her now. For one, Pearl got to keep her colors this time, and was working with her ostensibly because she felt like it. White had to assume Pearl either liked how she was treated, or it was just habit to obey a Diamond. She arrived at this conclusion by only following her own assumptions about how the world works, none of which really needed to be tested at any point.

"Inbix, My Diamond." Pink Pearl said, manipulating a holographic projection of their route. "Colony 15, labeled as a non-exploratory operational port."

"Hm. Why did we never explore it?" She asked.

"No useful minerals were ever found in its soil. The inhabitants eventually grew weary of our presence. When open conflict ensued, they receded to their forests and mountains. After that, they came back with…"

The ruler tuned out most of the rest of the conversation. She was not in the mood for it. The last two worlds that she visited had not been kind on her nerves.

The former empress of the largest galactic empire in the Universe was not used to being openly disagreed with; or challenged at all, really. But this was her life now.

"Approaching, My Diamond." Pearl stated, putting the planet on screen. Lush greens and white clouds. Yet another one of those.

Surely nothing could go wrong.


	2. CHAPTER 1 - Good Enough

At age eighteen, Steven expected most of his problems to be over.

And they were, to an extent. Peace was the norm. His house looked the same, just the way he liked it. His weird alien moms still lived with him. And, most nostalgic of all, he still spent a lot of energy trying his hardest to ignore the passage of time, not to mention the feeling of despair that came with the realization that nothing could _truly_ remain as it was forever.

In other words, the Steven Universe way of life was as relevant as ever. He rather liked it.

The sounds of entertainment coming out of his TV were quaint and wholesome. At some point he had grown out of violent, or more broadly _conflict-based_ media, which was an odd progression to go through according to some of his human friends. But it made sense in his mind.

Traveling the galaxy for years to resolve intergalactic conflicts gave him a palpable appreciation for the mundane. A lot of his post-galactic liberation life was figuring out ways to spend time before the next immediate threat.

The video games he played focused less in hostility and more in maintaining cute houses or other things that made his mind busy with joy. Caring for plants, going on long walks and reading Connie's books had become routine. The lack of challenge sometimes made his days dull, but he didn't mind.

Dull was, more often than not, safe. And in most days safety was good enough.

None of those life-affirming habits were truly sustainable when he was the first person others came to when things went wrong, of course. It had been a while since trouble showed its ugly face, but he knew it was about due.

Peridot came to talk to Steven one afternoon, and, deep down, he just assumed it was something he had to take care of.

"Steven, I believe you'll want to see this."

She handed him an extremely modified Earth tablet, with several icons detailing planets everywhere in the galaxy. Steven held it, uncertain of its purpose.

"I have been watching Homeworld's frequencies, checking to see if everything is going according to plan with our great liberation initiative."

"Do they… know you're doing this?"

She shrugged. "Whatever. Check this out: see where there's an empty circle in this quadrant?" Peridot pointed out what she described, to which Steven nodded. "According to temporary data, until last month there was a planet here. You liberated it personally."

"Wait," said Steven, holding the tablet closer. "That's Inbix, isn't it? With the plant-giraffe people? The ones you're really not supposed to call them that? I remember some guys there, they were nice."

"Precisely. There's no signal coming from their planet."

"I'm… sure it's fine, right?" He said, not managing to sound very convincing. "I mean, I'll call the Diamonds and they'll just tell me their signal's been scrambled, or something."

"Well… I _suppose_ the signal could be scrambled. But I can still see every planet in that system." Peridot took the tablet away, with a strange look on her face. "Look, Steven. I worked for Homeworld for about a hundred years. I _have_ seen this kind of signal loss before, but it's never _just_ a signal loss."

"What do you mean?"

"This is what it looks like when we take planets off of our star map. On purpose." She showed him the map again. The void where Inbix had been located attracted his gaze like a black hole. "I know your thing with the Diamonds has changed them, but this is really suspicious."

Steven stood up from his bed, trying to ignore the cold, anxious feeling building up in his gut. Whenever he'd get anxious, the skin around his Gem would feel kind of tight. Like it was gripping his heritage, and the unfortunate source of all his problems.

"I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this." He said, forcing a determined gaze to his friend. Her frown told him she didn't believe him. "I'll go talk to them right away."

* * *

Homeworld had changed a lot. It was a much happier place, with a warm and thriving population trying their hardest to get used to this whole _openly_ _feeling_ thing. At least that's what inhabitants told Steven whenever he asked.

He hadn't really come to visit all that much, not after two years of travelling across the stars and becoming far too familiar with what Gemkind _really_ did to the worlds they didn't crack open. After the dealings with Spinel, Steven had preferred to stay with his friends, one adventure or another notwithstanding. Weird to imagine the pink Gem had been in his phone book for about two years, now.

Steven would never truly understand why so many Gems decided to simply keep working for the Diamonds after Era 3 started.

He thought there was going to be a massive exodus from the planet, and a new kind of culture around freedom and love, maybe even individuality. And it's not like a lot of people didn't move out. But there were still Gems here a few years later, still happily obeying commands; albeit less forceful ones.

Peridot had tried explaining to him that it wasn't like they _disliked_ working for the Diamonds, and that she had seen herself that things had overwhelmingly changed for the better. This new way of arranging things just brought about its own set of challenges for their people, and a lot of them were excited to try things out. Through a highly-stratified system of rules and regulations, sure, but it was a _new_ highly-stratified system of rules and regulations. A healthier one!

Steven didn't buy it, but he could see that most people seemed to.

Steven was a celebrity around the galaxy, but especially in his mother's home. He wouldn't have been able to get to the palace without warping directly to lightway brought him to an old command center, now one of the many offices for the betterment of Homeworld.

There were several Peridots, a couple Sapphires, and one singular red-sand Gem that seemed to be dictating orders. The Sapphires were around her, whispering things into her ears that he assumed were the future. Seeing Gems work in perfect unison would have been slightly mesmerizing at any other time, but he had a job to do.

"Uh, excuse me—"

"Yes, Steven Universe. Welcome to the Brightening Office." The red-sand Gem said.

She was about as tall as Garnet and wore authoritarian-looking clothes. Her Gem was on the left side of her chest, and was a reddish, lightly dim, perfect circle. Steven didn't quite know how to put it, but she reminded him of Holly Blue Agate back at the Zoo.

"I am Tourmaline, one of the commanding officers in charge of making Homeworld shine bright again." She finished describing her title with an ounce of pride, but nothing that betrayed professionalism.

"Oh, cool." Steven realized that his visit probably put a dent in someone's schedule. "Sorry for showing up like this."

"No need for apologies. My companions warned us of your arrival in advance." She motioned at the Sapphires, who bowed politely. Steven was embarrassed. "You wish to speak to the Diamonds."

"Yes!" He said, taking a step forward. "Peridot noticed something weird in the scanners, and I wanted to make sure it was okay."

Every single Peridot looked at each other, confused and worried.

"Uh, our Peridot. I mean, the Peridot back home."

"Yellow and White Diamond are having a meeting, but Blue Diamond might take you. She is at her tower."

Tourmaline's tone was odd for a Gem. She wasn't directly dismissive of Steven, but clearly did not truly care about what he was doing there. He didn't mind, though. All he really cared was seeing this confusing affair to the end.

He stepped out of the room into the greater palace. The place hadn't changed much physically, although he was happy to see spirits higher than the last time he visited.

The halls were still much larger than he was used to, and the friendly looks he got from everyone — including, of course, the walls, — didn't quite fit with the sense of dread he associated with the building. Blue's chambers were a long way away, but he eventually arrived.

She was in her throne of water and glass, clouds and moody lightning adding to the melancholic atmosphere. Blue Diamond performed her duties with her usual crestfallen glory, even when relatively happy. It wasn't that big a surprise when Steven's eyes started to water by themselves.

Blue's notice of him interrupted any business she could have been conducting with a random Lapis Lazuli that flew by her head.

"Steven!" She said, her giant body standing up from her chair.

She made her way to him much faster than he would make his way to her, and they met barely inside the room. Feelings of joy and glum filled his heart as he realized that her subjects probably politely declined to tell her to stop emanating her heart, at least whenever they were alone.

"It's so good to see you! Oh, I wish you had told us you'd visit!" He almost couldn't see her through his — their — tears of joy.

"Hey Blue! Good to see you too, it's been a minute. Um, do you mind? Sorry for asking like that, but—" He started, trying to wipe the endless stream away.

"Oh no, please, I should apologize, myself." Her powers retracted into her heart, and she remained smiling. "Your visit just made me very happy, very suddenly. Are you on vacation? Might you stay in your old room for a bit?"

The smallest tinge of annoyance made its way into Steven's mind. Blue had been the easiest one to convince that he was a different person from Pink Diamond, but occasionally it just didn't matter to her. She was happy to have her little sister back. He would not take that away from her for the sake of his convenience.

He assumed they would get used to the idea over time. It was just a constant struggle, especially since he never visited.

"Maybe later. I came to talk to you guys, actually."

He explained the situation, to which Blue listened to attentively.

"Hm… that's White's old colony, Steven. I know nothing of it." It's not like he had a lie-detecting power, but Blue could _only_ be genuine. He believed her.

"Well, can I talk to White? I hear she's in a meeting, or something?"

Blue bit her lip, looking at a window to their side. They could see White's tower in the distance, looming over Homeworld like an overprotective mother. The giant Bust Ship was still very imposing, no matter how White handled her position.

"I don't know, Steven. White hasn't left her ship in a while. Yellow and Spinel went to see if they could get her to come out, but…"

"Want to go check on them?" He asked, growing increasingly worried. Blue's hand went up to her lips, with her anxiety slowly creeping its way into Steven's heart.

"I… I should. But you know how White can be sometimes."

"I'm sure we can get her to come out. And if she knows anything, even better."

His smile was warm and kind, and all the reassurance Blue needed. He held onto Blue's gigantic hand and both made their way to White's domain.

* * *

It wasn't as hard to get to see White Diamond as it had been in the past.

Part of the deal to end their reign of terror was to make sure every Gem could at least get an audience with her, giving some regard to the urgency of their requests to make things feasible. In theory, this would make White more approachable, and dent her reputation as a feared and impossibly perfect leader. At some point, Steven had tried breaking down why that was a _good_ thing, but he wasn't sure she ever got it.

Regardless of White's true feelings, her Pearl was standing right outside a colossal door at the bottom of the tower. She no longer had the monochrome tint Gems acquired when they were being taken over by White's influence, so Steven had to confront the fact that this _was_ Pink Diamond's old Pearl, damaged forever in an event no one talked about.

Her missing eye didn't tarnish her beauty as much as he thought it would. She wore the same ballerina's outfit as before, but with a see-through scarf running down her arms and neck that reminded him of White's cape. The fact that she wasn't constantly T-posing was also very reassuring.

This was an awkward meeting. He hadn't necessarily avoided her when he was working from and with Homeworld years ago, but they hadn't truly spoken to each other since the final battle against White. Her working eye positively gleamed when she saw Steven, and he tried his hardest not to look at the cracks on her face.

"My Diamonds!" She did the diamond salute as fast as Steven had ever seen it done. "I… it is an honor to welcome y-you…" Her voice failed her.

Steven didn't need empathic powers to know this was hard for her, too.

"Hey," Steven was quick to say, bridging the gap between them. From this distance, it was easy to see how she looked like pictures of his mother. "You're my mom's old friend, right? It's great to finally talk to you! I'm Steven."

Pink Pearl's expression was one of extreme discomfort, but also emitted a remarkable aura of nostalgia that he had to wonder if it wasn't coming from Blue, instead. She took a deep breath and forced her best smile.

"Yes. It is nice to finally meet you, Steven Universe." Pink Pearl broke the salute, kneeled to his level, and offered her hand. Steven took it. "I wish to thank you for working so hard, even to such great personal sacrifice."

Steven blinked twice. It's not like he hadn't heard similar, but… something about the words she used felt odd. It hit way harder than she could have possibly meant it to. He was about to go into what could very well have been an hour-long session of talking about his feelings, when Blue interrupted.

"Oh, Steven." Blue said, apparently finding the interaction quite touching, yet finding it appropriate to interject. "Don't mind her forwardness. You being here is just so great for all of us."

Steven shook his head, turning his attention back to Pearl.

"Thank you. We'll hang out later, okay? I promise. But we need to see White now. Can you do that for me?"

Now that Steven thought about it, there probably were still a thousand protocols and years of bureaucracy to _truly_ have an audience with White Diamond, considering how Gems treated their society. She was, after all, their supreme leader. But for Steven?

"Of course, My Diamond."

* * *

The tension in the room was palpable.

The doors opened to Yellow, with Spinel on her shoulder, arguing loudly with White. They stood several meters taller than Steven, with White being the tallest, most dominating presence Steven ever had the displeasure to confront. It hadn't stopped him, and he figured it wouldn't stop him now.

"Then what was all of this for?" Steven heard Yellow say, clearly upset. "Why are we trying to change?"

"Maybe we shouldn't." White's voice had the slightest hint of mania, which was unbecoming of her. She was strangely excited about whatever. "We tried to change and look at what it brought us."

"It brought us peace! It brought us hope!"

"It _stagnated_ us."

"We were stagnating _before_!" Yellow snarled, tired of this conversation, however long it was.

White's expression changed from passionate to surprised when noticing Blue Diamond's hulking figure at the door.

"Blue." Her gaze went, and her eyes widened. " _Steven_."

"Um, hi White, hi Yellow." He looked at Spinel on Yellow's shoulder, whose worried expression changed into extreme delight.

Her rubbery arms stretched impossibly until she was hugging Steven's life out of him, nuzzling his cheek and violating any illusion of personal space that Steven still had.

"H-hi S-Spi-n—" He couldn't even talk through her cuddling.

"Steeeeveeeeen!" Her high-pitched voice and _somehow_ fuzzy texture overwhelmed him. Steven couldn't begin to _guess_ how rubber could be fuzzy, but it was nice and comfortable all the time. "Aaaaaah!"

Steven pulled away eventually, managing a sheepish smile at his friend.

"It's great to see you too, Spinel." His attention went back to the Diamonds, who were more uncomfortable than normal. "Sorry for interrupting your meeting, but we need to talk. I think there's an emergency happening with one of White's old colonies."

White's expression was unreadable. Her perfect features were aligned in a completely neutral configuration, and Steven disliked it a lot. It was the face she made when she was hiding something.

"Is there, now." He did notice her gigantic eyes moving from him to Yellow, who still couldn't quite measure up to her… mother? Sister? It was unclear. "Well, I'll have it taken care of right away, no need to worry."

"I still worry." He walked into the room, notably leaving Blue behind. Spinel was still wrapped around his body like a snake, but she'd released a lot of her grip. "We can't even detect the planet anymore, and I have friends who live there."

Which wasn't _untrue._ Everyone was his friend until proven otherwise.

White's eyes widened again. The rest of her face didn't quite follow along, making her look horrified. Or maybe she was genuinely horrified, and that was just a whole new dimension of emotions she was allowing herself to feel.

"Ooh, are there." She said, her voice quivering ever so slightly. "I… am sure it's fine, Steven, please. I've been checking in on them like you said I ought to, and all my old colonies are doing great. Didn't notice anything strange at all. Besides, you have so many friends already."

Steven's expression went from untrusting to simply worried. The nagging feeling in the back of his head was killing him. Aside from trying his hardest to ignore the last comment.

"I mean, I can just go check."

"No!" White said, probably louder than she meant to. Steven's startled reaction had Spinel lose her focus and spring away from his body. "I mean… no, you probably have better things to do, no? I will do it myself, and report back to you."

Yellow shuffled uncomfortably. She knew something was amiss. White knew something was wrong. Blue knew nothing, but she might after today. Steven knew there was something incredibly odd going on. And just like that, they were back to games and half-truths.

"… and take me along, right?"

"What?"

"You'll check on it. And take me along."

His words were friendly, but Steven knew how to make his way into their hearts. Given enough time, they'd do anything for him. It was the only way they agreed to anything up until now. He had no reason to believe things had changed on that front.

"I…" White looked at Steven, then at Yellow, then back at him. " … sure. I will tell you when I'm available… uh, how does… in ten years sound to you?" She sheepishly smiled at him, like a child caught robbing candy.

"I want to go tomorrow." Steven's expression filled itself with the determination of the galaxy's greatest hero. "You're hiding something from me, and I want to know what."

"Diamonds have _very_ busy schedules, Steven." Suddenly, White was smiling, and Steven felt a disgusting feeling in his stomach that he wasn't being heard anymore. "We won't go tomorrow, and we won't go the day after. It is how it is. You wouldn't want Homeworld to not function properly, right?"

"I—"

"Yes, exactly. This matter is resolved. It was good to see you, P—" She caught herself, her smile wavering. _This_ one got Steven mad. "—Steven."

And with that, White backed herself into the room, eventually coming close to her throne. The whole thing was suddenly surrounded by a beam of white light, which gave Steven a scare from how fast it was. It was like a warp drive, but the light didn't go away. Steven didn't have to touch it to guess it was solid.

"What _is_ that?" He asked, curious.

"That's her own little world." Yellow said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. "She can lock herself inside there and see everything that goes on in Homeworld and beyond. She used to stay there for years. Haven't seen it in a while."

Steven tried his hardest to contain his groan. "Can't she come out? I really…"

"Steven."

Blue, who had been so patient, kneeled closer to him. She placed her giant fingers in his shoulder, making for a motherly, if extremely weird image.

"I know you're worried about your friends, but I do think you should listen to us this time. Space is a big place, and strange things happen in it. Yellow and I will do our best to investigate the situation for you. It might take a while, but please, let us deal with it. Don't just go alone. If it's a Diamond problem, the Diamonds shall deal with it."

They looked at Yellow, who didn't meet their gaze, but muttered something like "Yes, we will."

He wanted to believe them. They'd come such a long way.

"Okay." He said, finally. "I trust you."

"Thank you, Steven." Blue said, and she meant it.

She didn't know, of course.

* * *

It was five days before Blue called him.

He'd been off his game since his trip to Homeworld. Amethyst had noticed, but when he mentioned it was about the Diamonds, she quickly made herself busy so as to not have to listen to another transcript of the _therapy sessions_ Steven sometimes had to go through with them. They were so consistently high maintenance that everyone at the beach house had become accustomed to dodging the in-depth descriptions of his rare visits.

His phone lit up with Blue's picture, and he pressed the video call button. Peridot had modified it to work with Gem technology, communication networks, and to pirate cable, which he _did not_ approve of.

Her face showed up with some video distortions around it while the phone tried its best to make the call work.

"Steven?" Blue asked. The connection wasn't perfect. "Steven, can you hear me?"

"Yeah, hi Blue. Where are you?" He asked, putting the sandwich he'd been eating away.

"I'm with Yellow here. Yellow! Yellow, Steven's on screen!" She stepped away, her voice becoming more and more distant.

Some muffled noises were transmitted over the speakers, and Yellow's face appeared on the small screen. Like this, they almost looked people-size.

"Steven?" She said, with Blue behind her. "Hello. I see you are well."

"Hi Yellow! Are you two having fun together?"

" _Hmph_. I want to show you something." She moved back from the screen and changed the perspective to showcase a nearby window. They were in a spaceship, overlooking a solar system. "Take a look, Steven. As you can see, we are in the Aurelios system, where your beloved Aurelios-4 resides."

"Oh, that's Inbix." He looked closer at his phone, and there it was. Green and lush and beautiful. "Just like I remember it!"

Yellow focused the camera back on her, a hand on her hips.

"According to our models and official readings, there's an electromagnetic storm happening around this system's sun, and it has disrupted most of our communications. We are not in one of our private ships, making it hard to approach further, but I conclude that there is nothing wrong with the planet, and the storm will pass eventually. Maybe not on a normal human's lifetime, but definitely one day." Her eyes squinted. "You do know how long humans live for, right? I assume you'll have to deal with that."

"Yeah, I get it." Steven said, relieved to a point. "Thanks, Yellow. I guess I was just being dramatic."

Blue shoved Yellow out of the way, apparently very satisfied with herself.

"It's our pleasure, Steven! Thank you for trusting us." It was rare seeing Blue like that. It was—

The planet _shimmered_.

It was so subtle Steven assumed it was the videocall's quality, but the form of the planet shimmered like a distortion. It was slightly out of sync with the rest of the footage, if only he could rewind…

"—St-v-n? Can y-u h-ar me? The cal—"

The video started to freak out in a manner Steven was more accustomed to, and it eventually crashed. Steven stared at his phone for a second, until seeing text messages pop up.

_BLUE DIAMOND: we're okay!_

_BLUE DIAMOND: I apologize for the poor connection!_

_BLUE DIAMOND: please visit us again soon! some of our gems have learned how to cook!_

Steven smiled, and replied with a ' _Sure! Thank you so much!'_ followed by an auto-corrected pink rose emoji. He immediately regretted it, sending a diamond right after. A few seconds later, Blue sent another diamond. Crisis averted, somehow.

But he couldn't take his mind off it. Blue was clearly comfortable with these results, but what did that mean?

"Oh, it's probably okay." It didn't bother him. It didn't bother him at all. It—

 _Pop_ went his phone. Spinel had apparently gained access to her old communicator, which she had been forbidden from using due to not being able to stop texting Steven 24/7. He opened the message expecting niceties and emojis, but a single ominous text string looked back at him.

_SPINEL: we need to talk garden now._

Steven looked at his phone like it was broken. This writing style, the urgency in the message, the lack of emoji strings and cutesy fonts— this was nothing like Spinel. He tried replying with "What's happening?" but received no response.

The nagging feeling at the back of his head made itself known. This was uncharacteristic and suspicious of everyone involved.

The Gems were all out doing their thing. He could probably make it there and be back in time for dinner. And Spinel wouldn't set him up for a trap. Right?

* * *

The Garden made him uncomfortable.

It was a monument to both his mother's status and horrible selfish mistakes. It was a beautiful, if now unkempt asteroid with several structures and aesthetically-relevant decorations. Pillars and flora filled every square inch of the place, and, weren't it for its backstory, Steven would probably love to come here to just relax.

Spinel was waiting. She was sitting down on the stairs of the main structure, something that looked like a small temple a little far from the Warp Pad. The pink Gem seemed to be lost in thought, holding her cheeks with her hands and looking down. Steven worried for her, and quickly jumped to her position.

"Spinel?" He said, catching her attention. She didn't jump on his arms, which wasn't a good sign. "What's going on?"

"Hey."

Her cheery demeanor was almost completely gone, and she was acting like she always acted when she was overwhelmed. Stunted and self-conscious. She grabbed both her arms like she was cold, but Steven knew that wasn't it.

"Steven, I… I don't know what to do. You're the only one I trust."

The boy sat down, putting his arm over his friend's shoulder. "It's okay, you can talk to me."

"Do you remember my Gem Rejuvenator?" She said, not looking at him.

"Yeah, but what about it? I remember breaking it." Steven realized this could be just how long it took Spinel to process losing something. "Oh, was it like, important? I-I don't know how to get you a new one, but—"

"No, no, it's not… it's not that. They don't use them anymore, it was way too messed up, but I…" She finally looked at Steven, and he realized she'd been crying. "I think… I think White's making more."

"What do you mean?" Steven's voice went down a notch.

"After your talk with Blue and Yellow Diamond, I stuck around and they… I don't know. Um, Yellow looked really scary and told me to leave, but I overhead. Not everything. But Blue got upset, and then there was silence… and then Blue left."

The pink gem was shaking. Steven was worried she might break down at any moment.

"She was just smiling and walking forward like nothing had happened, and I thought I misheard, but Yellow was upset too. Way more than she was before. When she came out, she barely talked to me."

"You were in the room before I got there, right? What were they talking about?"

"I don't know… I didn't get it at first. Yellow was asking White what was going on with that planet, and then they started going into this screaming match… I'm sorry Steven, I panicked, I didn't want to listen…" And _then_ she finally started crying. Steven hugged her from the side, comforting his sad companion.

"Hey, it's okay, I know you don't deal well with this kind of thing."

"B-but… they were arguing about you. I got that. White doesn't like some of the things she has to do."

She was keeping herself together well, for someone so… _delicate_ wasn't the word, but Steven couldn't think of any other right now.

"Something about Gemkind needing to come first. They get so scary when they don't think anyone's around. Their voices are so _loud…_ "

He hugged her again, trying to ease her out of her panic attack. He scratched her back, let her cry on his shoulder, and basically just made sure she had something to center herself, like he was used to doing. The whole thing took about ten minutes. When she was done, she preferred to look down.

"Thanks, Spinel. I know it was hard for you to talk about it." His words meant well, but his mind was miles away.

The Diamonds were acting up. They managed _so_ well these past few years… he thought he could even allow himself to think about a more peaceful future. With Connie, maybe. Start a job? Try college, whatever that was? Something like that.

The possibilities seemed to actively run away from him. His gaze went back to Spinel.

"Do you want to spend some time on Earth?"

She began to smile, but quickly shook her head. "No, they don't know I'm here. I have… I have a schedule, too. And if White found out I talked to you about anything…"

"Okay, but please call me if you don't feel safe, alright?" He touched her shoulders gently, making sure she looked at him. Her face lit up.

"Does that mean I can text you?"

He muffled a groan. "Alright, but not during the night. How about that?"

"Yes!" She hugged him, wrapping her arms around him at least twice. Good old Spinel. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Steven hugged her back, and although he would arrive home to fifteen new texts, his mind was racing too fast to think about that. He needed a plan in order to tackle this. Something effective that could disrupt security and infiltrate authority.

Good thing he had a bunch of freedom fighters at home.


	3. CHAPTER 2 - The Brightening Office Does Not Condone Live Gem Experiments

"A break-in?" Pearl asked slowly. "Why do you want to break into White Diamond's tower?"

He explained what Spinel told him, which, in the end, had Pearl with a troubled look in her eyes, and a hand on her chin. _Pop, pop, pop,_ went Steven's phone, which he ignored.

"Well, that explains why your phone's been so loud."

"I'm working on the settings." Just for his peace of mind, Steven decided to turn his phone to silent. "But Pearl, I have a bad feeling about this."

"Yes… Gem Rejuvenating technology was banned so long ago; I was surprised to see Spinel still had one." She touched her Gemstone, as if reliving the memories of a few years ago. "The fact that White Diamond might be relapsing doesn't exactly surprise me, though."

Pearl didn't mean it like that, but he took that as a sign of failure. It had been _his_ idea to work with the Diamonds. _His_ responsibility. After everyone wanted him to just shatter them or something—

"I don't know if she's evil or not, but I can't just walk in normally and ask her. She'll just shut me out again. And if she's done something to Blue Diamond… I don't want to put them at risk."

Pearl hummed at him. "I don't want _you_ to be at risk, either."

"Yeah, but I have a shield." He smiled, summoning the pink shield with a hand. It was adorable. "And besides, Connie and I got through to her once, when she couldn't ignore us. Maybe I can get through to her again."

The look Pearl gave him was anxious and unsure of the future, which were two qualities that succinctly defined Pearl. Not that he didn't love her, but the Gem distressed him a lot.

"Come on, Pearl. Trust me. Do you have any ideas?"

"Well…" She pondered, eventually sounding certain of herself. "From what you told me; I have a rather obvious plan. It's not that stealthy, but I think it should get us inside. Whatever you do, though, we're all in, okay? This is too dangerous not to include us."

"Deal." They shook hands, playfully. "Thanks, Pearl."

"Yeah, thanks Pearl!" Said Amethyst, who had been on the second floor the whole time, listening in.

She gave both a scare, and as they yelped, she chuckled herself silly.

"What? I _live_ here, you know."

"Yes, Steven, you're not being very inconspicuous about your secret mission."

Apparently, Garnet had been in full view the whole time at the kitchen's balcony, reading a book. She didn't even raise her eyes to talk to them. This time, even Amethyst yelped.

They were all embarrassed, but more than that, confused.

"How… long have you been there?" Asked Steven, afraid of the answer.

"Since last night. You must have missed me." The red Gem said, completely monotone. "I'm very discreet."

* * *

The plan of incursion was simple, but wholly dependent on one individual's undying loyalty to Steven.

"Okay, guys, let me try this." Steven said, approaching by himself. "Uh, hi! Pink Pearl!"

Pink Pearl blinked and turned, smiling at Steven. Immediately he felt bad about using her.

"Hello, Steven Universe." She said, doing the diamond salute.

"Ah, um, just Steven is alright." He said, scratching the back of his head. She undid the salute like she'd been caught. "Wait, no, it's not that big a problem."

From the corner, Amethyst sighed. The Crystal Gems were hiding just in case they needed to jump in.

"This is as awkward as it gets, huh." She said, derisively. Pearl elbowed her a bit.

"Let him deal with it."

Steven inhaled sharply, ready to lie.

"Okay. _ahem_. I, uh, and my friends, would like to… we have important business in White's tower."

He was such a bad liar. He hated doing it. Pink Pearl was conflicted, to say the least. Her expression never quite reached dread, but it seemed to alternate between utter confusion and fear.

"But White Diamond is… she's My Diamond, uh… My Diamond. She has requested no one be allowed in, regardless of reason." The sentence barely made sense, but Steven got it.

"I know, but I really need to. She can't know I'm here." He held her arms, doing something that had worked with regular Pearl in the past. He lowered the tone of his voice and arched his eyebrows like he was about to tell a secret. "Pearl, please. I need you. I can't do this on my own."

Whatever was governing Pink Pearl's decisions at that time decided to turn off, being replaced with the strongest desire to obey Steven she'd ever felt. She straightened her back and inhaled sharply, as if to ground herself.

"I can open the backdoor for you, but not much else. Most anything I do gets registered in the system. You'll have to look for your way there."

"Yes! Perfect! Thank you so much, Pink Pearl!" He hugged her, which was _definitely_ too much, and he felt her reacting with immense surprise. "I promise to visit more and hang out with you, we'll go to Big Donut and sing and dance! Bye!"

He let go and ran towards the open door, followed by the Crystal Gems.

"Yeah, thanks Pink Pearl!" Amethyst yelled as she ran, excited about the sneaking job. The poor guard reached out to stop her but didn't move.

"Almost can't believe it was that easy." Mentioned Garnet, just out of ear shot.

Pearl and Pink Pearl didn't say anything to each other. They just shot looks. Didn't feel particularly good for either of them.

Once she was alone, Pink Pearl closed the door behind them, and sighed, returning to her post. After a few moments, she smiled to herself, blushing slightly.

"Singing and dancing, huh…? That sounds nice."

* * *

Steven quickly realized that without guidance, the inside of White's tower was like a maze.

Gems ran left and right doing seemingly no important task. They just looked busy, but Steven couldn't figure out what any of their jobs were. Trouble was marginally easy to avoid for a while, they just had to make sure to _look_ like they knew where they were going.

Garnet looked at every intersection they reached with confusion. "It's like this place rearranges itself every day. What a strange sensation. But White Diamond has put some of her best people as close to her as possible. Whatever's going on, we will find it here."

"Where, though?" Steven asked, but none of the Gems seemed to know. "Maybe if…" And then he stopped.

He could see a Gem he recognized. "Tourmaline," he whispered to himself, watching the Gem accompanied by her two Sapphires.

"You know her?" Garnet asked.

"She's the head of the Brightening Office. She's working to make Homeworld a better place." He looked at Pearl. "Could she have something to do with this?"

"Well, that depends on who defines _better_." She said, a tinge of scorn in her voice. "I think it's good to follow her."

"Wait, she has two Sapphire guards." Garnet put her hand in front of Pearl. "Everything we do will trigger their future vision. We have to distract them somehow."

"Well and how do we do _that_?" Asked Amethyst, louder than she meant, as always.

"We have to put them in contact with something so unexpected, so _rare_ that they won't be able to understand it. They'll think their whole future's gone wrong." Garnet stopped for a second and looked at Amethyst. Then Pearl looked at Amethyst. Then Steven caught on.

"What?" Said the purple Gem, weirded out.

* * *

Tourmaline and her Sapphires walked confidently, until the Sapphire on her left stopped. Her Gemstone was on the left side of her head, and she touched it. The Sapphire on the right, with a Gemstone on the right side of her head, looked at her, stoic as always.

"What's wrong?"

"I… it makes no sense, why would she be rolling indoors?" Left Sapphire muttered, more to herself than to her peer.

"Sapphires, what is going on?" Tourmaline asked, hands behind her back, authority in her voice.

Before they had time to answer, Amethyst came in like an absolute madwoman from across the corridor.

"Incomiiiing!"

She was in her ball form, bouncing and kicking off every wall, like a pinball that couldn't be stopped. The Sapphires were trying their hardest to keep up with her, but then she opened.

She wasn't using her regular form. She was wearing her Purple Puma persona, mask and everything.

"RAAUR!" It sounded way cooler in her head, of course. "REBOOT PURPLE PUMA BABY! I'M NOT EVEN A GEM! I NEVER CAME UP WITH A CONSISTENT BACKSTORY! MAYBE I'M A PLANT!"

She then transformed her own hand in a giant hot dog with wheels and proceeded to ride it like a car.

"I'M LOOKING FOR MY PEOPLE!" Amethyst drove around the two Sapphires and their leader, eventually decided they had seen enough, and drove away towards the other corridor.

"What…" Tourmaline was too shocked to form a coherent sentence for a second. Both Sapphires' mouths were agape. "What _was_ that?"

"I don't know." Said Right. "But I _must_ find out!"

A big smile opened as she used her superspeed to follow Amethyst, apparently enchanted by everything the purple one represented.

"Wait!" Left yelled, doing the same.

"Sapphires! Don't! You're still on duty!" Tourmaline tried saying, but they were both gone before the first word. The leader groaned annoyed and sighed, but there was not much she could do. "Note to self, hire less… impressionable staff." With no other choice, she decided to stay on her path.

Garnet, Steven and Pearl were on the edge of the corridor, watching the whole scene unfold.

"I can't believe that worked!" Steven whispered, smiling innocently.

"It's the old be-whoever-you-are trick," said Garnet, smiling brightly. "No Sapphire can resist a free spirit."

"Awww." Replied Steven, generating an even bigger smile.

"Look," Pearl interrupted, pointing at Tourmaline. "She's walking into that section."

"Let's go!" Garnet took the initiative, running after her before they lost track.

Tourmaline kept walking for several minutes, taking turns that were seemingly random in the almost impossibly complex tower. When she finally stopped, she had arrived at a corridor populated by almost nothing but blue-ish, lanky Gems, with short purple hair, safety goggles, and strange limb enhancers in the form of a backpack full of… tentacles? Steven assumed they were tentacles.

"They're all Tanzanites…" Muttered Pearl, more to herself than to the others.

"What's that?" Steven asked, curious.

"They're extremely rare, I'd only seen a couple in my time in Homeworld. What are all of them _doing_ here?"

"Tanzanite…" Garnet repeated, apparently lost in thought. "Scientists. First Era Gems built specifically for inventing new technology."

Tourmaline finally walked into a room. Steven muttered a _let's go_ to his friends and carefully dodged the wave of homogenous Gems, who, now that he thought about it, all kinda looked like giant nerds. Surely, they were fun at parties.

They walked into a white, sterile room with many scientists working on very scientific things. Steven was sure Connie would have loved to visit this place, in better times. None of the scientists seemed to care that they were in the laboratory, and Tourmaline was nowhere to be found. A lot of work was going into a lot of different, strange objects all over the room, but it was hard not to notice the giant pillar containing a small humanoid, apparently awake.

Garnet gasped.

"A Ruby!" Steven watched as a Ruby soldier squirmed inside a tube, somehow hovering despite only being connected to strange cables. She was clearly uncomfortable. Right in front of the tube, three Tanzanites were adjusting dials and holographic screens. They were all using their tentacles to do about five things at once.

Garnet summoned her gauntlets, but Pearl held her back. "Wait, we don't know what taking her off of that will do!"

An alert sounded. The door behind them closed. No scientists stopped what they were doing, and Steven clearly saw one of the Tanzanites press a big button in the console. A bright flash of white light filled the tube; too bright to look at. The Crystal Gems collectively closed their eyes.

When they opened them, the Ruby soldier was… different.

Her hyperactive struggling was gone, replaced instead by mute curiosity of her surroundings. She didn't seem to understand what was going on, nor what she was doing in there, but all the fight in her seemed to have evaporated.

"Um… excuse me?" The Ruby said, shy and reserved. "I… I want to come down."

One of the Tanzanites approached her.

"What is your function?" She asked, with a raspy voice. "What is your current desire?"

"I'm a Ruby soldier, and I…" She looked down, suddenly unsure of herself. "Um… I… I want to… to do math."

Pearl and Garnet looked at each other, worried and confused.

"What…?" Steven muttered.

"I know it's weird," Ruby continued, incredibly confused. "But I really don't want to fight. It feels scary."

"Subject immediately internalizing her new core programming. No apparent need for re-education." Said the Tanzanite, apparently recording a log. "Experiment successful. Poofing subject for examination of stage 2."

"NO!" Garnet yelled, jumping in. Pearl and Steven didn't try to argue, they simply took their weapons out.

The fusion smashed the console, startling every Gem in the room. The electronics exploded under the weight of her fists, which she completely glossed over as she punched the tube. The little Ruby fell on her arms, very scared.

"Who are you?" She asked, trying to hide her face from Garnet.

"Don't worry, we're here to help." Garnet grabbed the first Tanzanite within reach. "What did you _do_ to her?!"

"We made her part of history."

The voice didn't come from Tanzanite. The Crystal Gems looked around and found Tourmaline on a catwalk overlooking the laboratory. Her Sapphires were back, and they held Amethyst in an ice cube, with her head sticking out.

"Sorry guys," Amethyst said, with a sly grin. "These ladies are _way_ too chill for me."

Tourmaline ignored the terrible pun. "That Ruby is definite proof that we can leave the slump Steven Universe put us in."

"What are you talking about?" Steven asked, stepping forward. "I liberated the galaxy! Everyone's happier now!"

" _You_ took away all of our resources, fragmented our great empire, and left Gemkind to die." She pointed at him, furious. The calm façade Steven had seen at the Office was completely gone. "Without colonies we have no materials to make new Gems, no way of growing. No expansion! No progress!"

"You don't have to expand! Can't you see how much you were hurting other planets?!" Steven asked, so tired of that conversation. The Diamonds all had their own version of it. He was just so _tired_.

"Gemkind comes _first,_ you fool." She punched down on the side rail, breaking it easily. "But no matter. I have no desire to explain myself to you."

Pearl walked forward, more curious than she probably should. "But this… I mean, no Ruby is born this way." She motioned at the little thing, still desperately trying to not exist in that room. "They're all excited, outgoing… there's no way a Rejuvenator would do _this_."

Tourmaline laughed. "Rejuvenating a Gem was just the first step into what should have been a glorious field of studies. But we have moved past." Her smile was wicked, and it sent shivers down Steven's spine. "You are looking at the glorious advent of Gem _Editing._ "

No one spoke for a while. Steven was trying to put together everything the word entailed in his head. The idea was appalling. The Tanzanites were closing in, clearly just waiting for the cue to attack.

Ruby started to cry. Garnet's hands shook in fury.

"This is… _clearly_ wrong, Tourmaline." Steven finally managed to say. "If White Diamond put you up for this, it has to stop!" Shield out, objective established. "Amethyst!"

"Yup, that's my cue." Amethyst shape-shifted out of the ice block, as she was always able to, apparently surprising at least Tourmaline. "Sorry ladies! Gotta save freedom and expression and all! We'll hang out later!" As she jumped down, Right Sapphire grabbed the side rail trying to follow her, and Left covered her mouth, entranced.

"She's just _doing_ things!" Right said, adorably fascinated.

"Stop them!" Tourmaline demanded, which flipped whatever switch the Tanzanites were waiting for.

The Crystal Gems were surrounded by nerds with tentacles who looked like they _really_ liked their job and would fight to keep it. Amethyst fell on top of Steven, who immediately grabbed her, spun her around, and felt his physical form losing all boundaries. Their minds melded, their bodies joined, their power multiplied—

"Helloooo nurse!" Smoky Quartz came out, yo-yos in hand. "Uh, wait, it's scientists? Uuugh, I'm never gonna get to say that."

No one needed to tell them to start fighting. Right off the bat, Smoky threw two of her yo-yos at two angry nerds, who both moaned and groaned pathetically. Three others used their extremely versatile enhancements to try to constrict her movements. "Little help! Littlehelplittlehelphereplease!" Smokey said, as they wrapped her tighter.

Pearl's spears cut the tentacles in one smooth motion, as she danced around the opponents and took them out with barely any effort. "Garnet! How's Ruby?!"

Garnet punched any Gems that approached her. Whenever some would get too close, she would throw them over her shoulder with her right hand. Her left hand was carrying the Shy Ruby, who couldn't be more useless in a fight if she tried.

"She's fine, but we have to get her out of here!"

"You're not going _anywhere_." Said Tourmaline, summoning her weapon. A red one-handed crossbow. "Sapphires!"

"Y-yes, Your Brightness." They said, holding hands.

The Sapphires joined into a slightly bigger Sapphire, with Gemstones on each side of her head. She used her super speed to attack Smoky, who was caught by surprise by both Sapphire's appearance and her ice covering the floor.

The Crystal Gem fell on the ground, one of their yo-yos rolling away from their hand.

"Just to make sure, we are _still_ incredibly interested in one of you." Sapphire said, charging what Smoky assumed was a freezing laser on her hands.

"Oh, of course, that makes it all better." Quipped the brown fusion, using the string in a yo-yo to trip Sapphire. Her superspeed made that attempt moot. "Gosh, gonna be here for a long time."

Tourmaline jumped down from the catwalk and joined the fight, shooting white light arrows at Garnet and Pearl from a safe distance. When Pearl reciprocated with throwing spears, Tourmaline took cover, touching the light arrow in her weapon with her two fingers.

Its colors changed from white to green, and, when she shot them again, the resulting explosion was much bigger than before. It caught Pearl off-guard, and she momentarily lost her balance.

Tourmaline ran in, shooting more arrows at Pearl, but Garnet's gauntlet deflected them all before they reached their destinations.

"Not bad for a fusion," Tourmaline growled.

"I've dealt with enough people like you for an entire lifetime." Garnet said, enlarging her free gauntlet. The next punch took longer to come out, but it caught her in full.

Tourmaline was flung across the room, colliding with a wall and sliding down, noticeably limp. Garnet coddled the little Ruby in her arms. "You okay?"

"Y-yes…" She winced, crying again. It broke Garnet's heart, but the kid was safe.

"She's more than okay! Look at her!" Tourmaline pointed at Ruby, which caused her to scream. Garnet didn't take the obvious chance to attack the enemy, out of sheer anger.

Tourmaline continued to gloat. "A born soldier completely repurposed into a new role! We won't ever need new Gems! We can just edit the ones we already have!"

She hit her own Gem with the kind of strength that made Garnet cringe just from seeing it. "An entirely new race, strong in as many soldiers, scientists, or leaders as it needs! A new Gem Empire, born from the ashes of the old one!"

"Pearl! Help Smoky Quartz!" Garnet asked, and Pearl got back on her feet. The thinner Gem jumped away, leaving Garnet to confront the head scientist. "Do you ever listen to what you say, Tourmaline?"

Tourmaline didn't reply, shooting more darts at Garnet. The fusion jumped and broke some projectiles with her free gauntlet. Despite her efforts, she was hit once on her leg. Garnet immediately felt it grow numb, her light form glitching on the affected spot.

"Why can't you understand? We _need_ something like this." Tourmaline said, pointing her weapon at Garnet's head.

Garnet pointed her gauntlet at the enemy and launched it like a rocket.

Tourmaline was surprised, ducking behind cover. Garnet took the time to limp to cover herself and take the dart out of her leg. The effect continued, but she could feel herself getting better.

"You're out of your league, fusion!" She heard Tourmaline yell from wherever she was. "You'll make a fine test subject afterwards!"

"She is unbelievable." Muttered Garnet, unable to cope with how cartoonishly evil the Gem was.

Ruby clutched to Garnet's chest, bringing her mind back into the game.

Smoky Quartz was trying their hardest to lock Sapphire in a pattern, but no matter what they did, Sapphire was always one step ahead. It wasn't until Pearl threw one of her spears on the ground by the blue Gem that Smoky had an idea.

"Hey! Keep those coming!" They asked, and soon, Pearl had a random pattern of spears piercing the ground by Sapphire, who was utterly confused.

"Why do you keep missing? It's as if— oh… _oh._ " Future vision kicked in too late.

Smoky threw their three yo-yos at the spears, roping them in like pulleys. Sapphire was surrounded by a spider web of yo-yo string.

Smoky pulled, and the rope tightened Sapphire enough to poof her. Pearl collected both Gems before they hit the ground, and carefully placed them on a nearby table, whispering a legitimately apologetic 'we're sorry, you'll be back soon' while doing it.

After doing her kindness, Pearl approached Smoky, who was doing yo-yo tricks absent mindedly. Neither got immediately involved in Garnet's fight, but they both watched as the result unraveled.

Garnet jumped up into the catwalk behind Tourmaline, who shot in an arc trying to catch the Gem in the air. The catwalk held Garnet's weight fine enough, giving her ample time to jump back down, like a rocket herself, punching towards the place Tourmaline was at. The scientist managed to dodge but dropped her weapon in the process.

While she was down, Garnet grabbed the Gem by her hair and threw her at a nearby wall. The evil Gem stumbled and fell, dazed and confused by the impact.

"You seem okay." Pearl said, smiling at Smoky. They rarely had the chance to talk.

"Oh, you know me, always on the market for new tricks. Thanks for the assist."

Smoky smiled, and their body shined brightly. Steven and Amethyst became separate entities again, both in good spirits.

"Sucks for them, though." Amethyst mentioned, looking around the laboratory.

No one else seemed to have poofed, but it was still a sorry sight. The scientists were all picking up the pieces of their broken equipment, both tentacle-backpacks and random experiments. They seemed entirely too distracted to really care about the Crystal Gems.

Their break was interrupted by Garnet punching the wall by Tourmaline.

"How do we fix what you did to her?" The fusion demanded, the little Ruby still scared out of her mind by Garnet's bosom. "How do we reverse Gem Editing?!"

Tourmaline seemed worse for wear than many people in the room, but she was aware enough of what was going on to laugh. It was slow and scornful, and it drove Garnet mad.

"Reverse it?" The Chief of Brightening finally opened her eyes, summoning another crossbow. "Why would we ever want that?"

"GARNET, WATCH OUT!" Steven yelled, summoning his shield and running forward. Not fast enough.

Garnet stepped away startled, but Tourmaline couldn't aim properly. The Ruby received the brunt of the arrow. It pierced her small body almost all the way through. Garnet had to look into her peer's eyes while she poofed, Ruby's Gemstone falling to the ground with a dull sound.

Except it didn't just fall. When it hit the ground, strange grey streaks started to appear on it, as if a grey hand was taking hold of the Gemstone. Tourmaline just kept chuckling.

"You can't reverse Editing, you filthy off-color Earthworm." She said, spitting the last words. "Keep her if you love her so much. She's not coming back from _that_ anytime soon."

Garnet's teeth seemed dangerously close to cracking from how hard she was gritting them. She grabbed Tourmaline by her shirt and brought her closer.

"What do you mean by that, you monster?!"

"There's currently… ah, a glitch with Editing, you see. For some reason, we can't get Gems to reform after poofing."

She pointed at the ruby Gemstone on the floor, now almost devoid out of red. A grey, dull color made it look more like a weirdly cut rock.

"Go ahead, do whatever you want to me. Gem Editing is enough of a success. She was one of many effective subjects, and we have labs all over Homeworld. This is just the best one. You have no idea how much we've accomplished."

Garnet formed her gauntlet, ready to strike Tourmaline down. She only stopped when she felt Steven's hands holding her hand back.

"Garnet! Come on. She's not worth it." His usual cheery tone had been replaced by a harsher, yet still careful vibration in his voice that he didn't hear very often.

Garnet trembled to control herself. Her restraint resulted in putting a hole in the wall as opposed to shattering someone. She let go on Tourmaline, who fell to the ground, holding her neck in pain.

"You really want your friend back?" She coughed. "Talk to White Diamond. The technology is based on what she found, and her powers." Tourmaline looked at Steven, disgusted. "You could have been so great, Pink Diamond. Healing, resurrection, emotional control… just think of the possibilities if you hadn't… _tainted_ your—"

She never got to finish that sentence. A white spear skewed her through the middle of her chest. With a last gulp, her Gemstone fell to the ground as her form lost all consistency. Steven watched, horrified, as Pearl took her spear back in, eyes focused on the reddish gem in front of her. She looked back at Steven, not adjusting her gaze from what he called "War Pearl" mode.

" _I_ think it was worth it." Pearl said, with nothing but contempt in her voice.

Amethyst picked up Ruby's grey Gemstone.

"It's so weird. It's like it's not even a Gem anymore." She said, clearly worried. Then she passed it to Steven, who immediately tried kissing it better.

No response. Again. Nothing.

"I can't heal it." He made no attempt to hide his desperation. This was supposed to be a sneaking mission, yet there they were, with a lab full of gems either unconscious or poofed, and the strangest kind of corruption they'd ever seen.

"We'll keep her safe." Garnet said, bubbling the Ruby and sending her to the Temple. "We have to see White Diamond. She can't get away with this."

Steven gulped. Talking White down from evil _again_ … how many times would it take? Would it ever stick?

Was she even listening?


	4. CHAPTER 3 - To Make Gems Stronger

The path to the top of the tower wasn't as packed with guards as Steven assumed it would be.

Apparently, the lab was isolated enough that it didn't fit into a lot of guard patrols very easily, so they just didn't go there as often. Steven had to assume this whole place was just as confusing to the people who worked there as it was for them. The run towards a way to move up was silent compared to their usual banter. The Gems were all much more invested in this mission than before.

"An elevator!" Pearl pointed out, and they watched a couple Tanzanites trying to take a lift. Amethyst's whip wrapped around both, pulling them out of the ride as the Gems all went in. "Sorry!" Pearl managed to say before the doors closed.

Steven looked at the panel, realizing it needed a key to access the upper floors. "Oh no, it doesn't go up all the way."

"Let me." Mumbled Garnet, touching the panel with her hands. A wave of electricity transferred from her chest to the wall, making the lift go _incredibly_ fast. "Hang tight!"

Easier said than done, especially being so tall. Steven immediately fell on his behind, the G-force making him feel woozy and sick. The Gems didn't look like they really cared that much, but it couldn't be very comfortable either way.

With a satisfying _ding_ , the elevator arrived at the top of the tower, and the stop made Steven splat on the ceiling. Luckily, no harm came from it, except the harm to his pride as Amethyst laughed herself silly.

"Focus." Said Garnet, as Amethyst's laughter died with a couple of snickers. "White Diamond is near."

The lift opened to a featureless grey and white room, with nothing but a gate towards White Diamond's throne. Steven knew what he would find in there— White, in her _little world_ , as Yellow put it, completely inaccessible.

"Guys, wait." He had the group pay attention to him. "Before we do this, I want to ask something of you. When we get there, I want to talk to her."

" _Talk_ to her?" Amethyst asked, puzzled. "Dude! Did you see what her people did to that Ruby? It was so messed up!"

"Steven, she's clearly relapsed into her old ways." Pearl put it as nicely as she could, but even she was struggling. "Maybe she's just not interested in talking."

"I know I sound crazy, but there _has_ to be a way to not escalate this." He sounded so sure, even Garnet gave in.

The bigger Gem nodded, even though she was conflicted.

"If Steven says he can do it, then we believe in him." She held his shoulder in support, which did calm him down. Boy was freaking out. "But the second things go south, we jump in."

They all looked at the door once again. Steven audibly gulped, moving closer to open it.

No big surprises. An empty throne room draped and decorated to White's minimalistic, monochromatic aesthetic. The large pillar of light made their objective clear.

"Amethyst." Garnet said, extending her hand to her partner.

"Yo, on it."

Amethyst and Garnet walked in harmony, interlacing their fingers on their way to the pillar. Suddenly, Garnet pulled Amethyst closer, who spun around her like a dancer. Their forms joined, melded, twisted and grew— emerging into a giant purple woman, four-armed and holding a gauntlet and chain.

Sugilite threw her weapon at the pillar, which actively deflected it. Roaring, the monstrous fusion pierced the light with her bare hands, screaming of pain in the process.

"Sugilite!" Steven said, running to help.

"This is nothing! Just wait for it!" Sugilite said between grunts, forcing the light barrier open. They made slow progress, but eventually, a small opening showed itself, revealing a large chasm that kept going down.

"Steven! We have to go!" Said Pearl, grabbing Steven by his arm. He was ready but wasn't sure if Sugilite was.

"It's okay! Come with us!" Steven yelled, and he and Pearl took the dive.

He could see Sugilite transforming back into Garnet and Amethyst, with both their much smaller bodies managing to fit into the opening just before it closed. And now, all of them were falling.

It took a _while_ to get there through gravity alone. The Gems didn't care about the fall, but Steven couldn't stop thinking about what he was supposed to say. If he was being honest, he'd had this conversation too many times, and his arguments were a bit… strained.

He could only advocate for the sanctity of all life and their incontestable rights so many times before he figured it wasn't working. The idea that White had just taken a loophole to _technically_ not do anything she said she'd stop doing yet continue being absolutely awful… it made him sick, but also, made him feel stupid.

He had trusted her, and yet here he was again, storming her tower and trying to get himself pumped up to argue a genocidal maniac into stopping their evil ways. Of course, there would be a fight. He knew that. He just wanted to try his best to avoid one. Story of his life.

The floor finally approached, and he floated himself into a safe landing. He had to actively fight back against forming his shield, and the sight he saw when he looked forward didn't help.

It was White, yes, but Blue Diamond was also present.

The usually melancholic Diamond was sitting happily in a giant side throne, smiling brightly in a way that was very unbecoming of her. Steven thought the day he'd see Blue genuinely smiling to anything that wasn't himself would be happier than this. Instead, all he could do was connect the dots.

Gem Editing had been achieved, Tourmaline said. There were many successful test subjects, she said.

The supreme leader of Homeworld sat on a much higher throne than Blue, looking down on all of them. This was painfully familiar.

"Ah, Steven and friends." Her old tone. Like a stern mother who has no intentions of changing her opinion. "You seem to have invaded my tower, throne room, and now study. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"White." Steven stepped forward, trying to hang on to anything that would sound convincing. "We found Tourmaline's laboratory. What are you _doing_?"

"I'm _doing_ what is _necessary_ , and you would understand if you really cared about Homeworld." She leaned forward, in an uncharacteristic show of frustration. At least _some_ lesson about being true to her feelings had stuck with her. "It's such an awful, disorganized _mess_ , Steven. I tried. Oh, stars, I _tried_ to ignore it. But…"

"It's not a mess! And even if it is, that's the point! You can't just tell people what to do like you used to!"

"Steven, you don't understand; we're not human. We are _Gems_!" She said, almost leaving her throne from leaning so much. "Maybe this is okay for humans— maybe you can just sit around, finding new ways to be mediocre, to be whatever you decide to be that day! But we _can't_!"

She got off the chair, walking towards Steven. The Gems drew their weapons.

"We require purpose, we require an objective. Being happy is not the _end goal_. It's a _consequence._ A consequence of a job well done; a job you have made almost impossible to perform!"

"It's not about… being _mediocre_ , White! You're not listening to me!" Steven was letting his frustration show up in his voice. Bad form. "It's about being who we are, about doing what we love! Life doesn't have to be about just work, or just efficiency, or—"

"But it _does_! And it _is_! For _us_!" She yelled.

She then pointed at Blue, who was just happily minding her own business.

"Look at her now, Steven! For millennia I tried making a leader out of her, and she just kept being _just good enough_ to keep things going, but not good enough to get the work done. How many Gems did she shatter because she felt disrespected; how many worlds weren't terraformed properly because of her quirks, her blasted personality? Because of her grieving of _you_?"

The old annoyance, back again.

"I am _not_ Pink Diamond." He said through his teeth. "And maybe Blue didn't have to be a leader if you didn't force her to. Maybe she can be happy some other way!"

It all sounded so familiar. He could even hear his mom's voice in his head, having the exact same conversation over thousands of years. Occasionally, White would concede, try to change, and then go back to her ways later.

What was even the point of this, he caught himself thinking. He quickly extinguished that thought. The point was freedom, truth and love. It always would be.

"She's a Diamond, you fool."

The thought seemed to upset her in a completely different way than what she'd been upset thus far. White physically recoiled after snarling the last insult. To recompose herself, she sighed, apparently also tired of this argument.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Gem Editing is making excellent strides, and finally… _finally_ , she's like she was always supposed to be. And I don't even have to tell her how to, anymore." White turned around, looked at Blue, and smiled. "My stars, just look at her. She's so happy to be here. So eager to please. Not an ugly drop of sorrow inside her."

"Yes, My Diamond." Blue said, sending shivers down Steven's spine.

This was reaching a worst-case scenario. White was fully convinced of what she was saying and had the means to put something massively destructive in practice. Steven was losing the fight and it hadn't even started.

"Why can't you just see that this is exactly what you did before?" He pleaded, how else to put it. "You were doing so well. You listened to your people, you actually came out of your Tower, you interacted with other Gems…"

"And what I saw made me _sick_." She spit, raising her finger at Steven's family. "Off-colors and cross-fusions doing whatever they want, perfectly functional Gems leaving their assigned roles, _corrupted_ Gems—"

"YOU corrupted them!" It was Steven's time to point and shout. "You corrupted them because you couldn't live with the fact that Pink Diamond _hated_ all of this!"

"YOU only hated us because you couldn't be trusted to do your job properly!"

"I AM NOT PINK DIAMOND!" Screw talking. Steven had enough. "Why can't you understand that? Why do I have to keep saying that every time we talk for long enough?!"

"Oh, _please_ , Pink!" Maybe it hadn't been a façade of good behavior. Maybe throughout the years, White genuinely came to believe Pink Diamond was gone. Maybe, a tiny portion of Steven's logical mind whispered, at some point she had even been ready to grieve properly.

But something had erased that progress, because here she was again, and Steven almost felt like crying of frustration.

"You might have convinced your friends, your allies, even yourself of your little act; you even deformed your Gem _somehow_ into making you look like _that_. But I told you once, and you should have heard me— you can't fool _me,_ Pink Diamond. I watched you forming for the first time! I _know_ who you are!"

Her eyes started to glow, with the white light that foretold of her activating her powers.

" _You are Pink Diamond! And I_ _will remind you of what that means!"_

"Gems!" Garnet finally had enough. With one twist, Alexandrite had replaced the warriors. But he couldn't even look at them. He was on the verge of tears.

"Why won't you listen to me?" He murmured, more to himself than to White. "Why would I lie to you about any of this?"

White's rays of light hit nothing, as Alexandrite's hands quickly picked up Steven. The giant woman placed him behind her body, like a guard dog.

"Steven, pull yourself together!" Alexandrite said, with her four voices. "If you can't fight, we have no chance here!"

"Blue." Said White Diamond, stern. "Be a dear and destroy the Crystal Gems. This charade has gone on long enough."

Blue's smile turned into a frown, but then _back_ into a smile as her hands glowed with blue energy. She levitated from her chair, filling the air with her overwhelming feelings. Steven almost didn't care about it, but it took Alexandrite a lot of effort to remain formed.

Spheres of blue light filled the air around her as Blue Diamond set up her turrets. Laser beams shot at the Crystal Gems, each of them hitting in full before Alexandrite finally summoned gauntlets as make-shift shields. The barrage didn't end until she managed to spit fire at the Diamond, who had to defend herself.

Alexandrite pulled out her bow and arrow, shooting uselessly at Blue Diamond's impervious energy protections.

Steven realized he was watching his family fight again and struggled to see what he could do to avoid it. Force it to stop, maybe— Obsidian was very powerful, and this time there were no middlemen involved. It would be an actual fight. But ending it peacefully, making a change happen without resorting to simple might-makes-right rules… he couldn't see it this time. He was so tired.

It was all falling apart, and he couldn't even really tell if it ever had been put together in the first place.

His thought process was interrupted by Blue Diamond who managed to hit a bit too close to most of Alexandrite's Gemstones for her to be able to take it. The overwhelming sorrow, the stream of attacks, the worry for Steven— it was all too much. Too distracting. The giant fell, and her form turned into three.

Steven watched the women who raised him fall to the ground, and he wasn't sure how they were maintaining themselves. Whatever the answer might be, none got up as they landed.

"Excellent, Blue." Like a puppy, the giantess smiled again, completely satisfied. "Now incapacitate Pink, and we'll have Tourmaline's good people bring her back into the fray."

His shield came up, but it was useless, and he knew it. He couldn't keep up with Blue Diamond in this state. His powers came from emotional control, and he had everything but that right now.

But she never attacked. Her smile turned cold, and her eyes went from genuinely pleased to hollow and distant. She looked as if she was staring at something far away, and whatever it was, it was slowly proving to be too much for her to look at.

"Hurt… Steven?" She mumbled. Steven's eyebrow went up. Was Blue fighting back? "But… it's Steven."

"It's _Pink,_ Blue. Look at her! You know it! I know it! We just pretend it's not the case!" White yelled, doubling down on this newfound power of hurting Steven just with words. Had she really hated him all this time? Had it all been a lie?

Those would be questions for later. Blue's struggle persisted. Blue, who always laughed at his jokes, even if she didn't understand them. Blue, who, although a horrible shatterer, seemed to be putting in the effort into reparations and reforming. Blue, who was always happy to contact him and just talk and make sure he was okay, even if he could see her looking at his Gem with such nostalgia…

"Blue! Please! You got to resist her!" His shield went down, and he opened his arms. "White's programming can't control you! Only you can tell yourself what to do!"

His words seemed to be reaching her. Blue's hands held her head, and her expression changed from confusion into pain. She groaned and released her feelings of worry and anxiety without caring who they hurt.

Multiple blue waves of negativity emanated from her, making Steven fight to remain conscious. White seemed to have no idea what was going on, and she could barely keep her balance through the emotional assault.

"Blue! Stop this!" The leader yelled, sounding genuinely afraid.

"I _won't_ hurt Steven! Not again! I… I… I-I—" She stuttered herself into a full-blown scream, and then Steven started to worry.

"Blue? What's wrong?" He cried back.

She opened her eyes, still shouting, and Steven's heart skipped a beat. Her regular diamond-shaped pupils had been replaced with white voids full of black streaks, like a mirror shattered in a million pieces yet hanging on to its oval form.

The Gemstone on her chest started to display the grey lines that had appeared in the shy Ruby's Gemstone, and Steven immediately panicked.

"Blue! NO! STOP!" Whatever she was doing had to end. Steven floated up towards her, maybe he could still reach her, maybe—

And just like an illusion, Blue's form poofed before his very eyes. Time seemed to stop as he looked down and saw the blue diamond, as big as his body, slowly lose its color, and then fall to the ground, useless.

Steven never flew as fast as he did to catch the Gemstone before it shattered against the ground. It was nothing but a grey, ugly rock. He couldn't breathe, he could barely move through the shock. All he could do was stare at what had been, to that day, the only Diamond who really gave a crap about whatever he was saying.

"Blue?" White's words cut through his brain like a hot knife.

He bubbled Blue Diamond and suspended it in midair. There was nothing he could do for her right now. But what he _could_ do was to fly as fast as he could at White Diamond's face and knock himself on her like a spiked bubble bullet.

Sounded like a great plan.

"ARGH!" Her bark of pain filled the room. The Crystal Gems were waking up at this point, right in time to dodge the woman's gigantic body losing its balance and falling on where they'd been previously laying.

Steven went down with her, if a bit more elegantly. His fists were clenched enough to hurt, but he didn't mind.

"This is your fault!" He said, landing on her body and walking on it towards her head. "How could you do this to your own family? Blue is obsessed with you! She worships the ground you walk on!"

"I didn't…" She mumbled, still stunned by Steven's violent attack. "I didn't know she would reject it so strongly… I didn't know this would…"

White gagged on her words. She was too overwhelmed with the vision of the boulder previously known as Blue Diamond, floating right above them.

"Bring her back." He pointed at Blue, still floating in her pink bubble. The bubble came towards him as it was his command. "You did this! This is your power, and it's your responsibility to fix it! I'm tired of fixing your mistakes for you!"

White looked at the comparatively small rock that contained all of Blue's life and closed her eyes in shame.

"I can't. I… it would have to be all four of us."

The words sunk into Steven like bugs. They ate away at something he didn't even know was there. He held his head with his hands and tried his hardest not to lose it.

Hang on to hope. Blue Diamond wasn't gone. There was a way out of this. There had to be.

He touched the bubble and sent her to the Temple's basement. It occurred to him that Blue and Ruby would be the only Gems in there now. Everyone had moved out a long time ago.

The Crystal Gems had been watching everything in stunned silence, not sure of what to do. Pearl finally took a step towards both diamonds. She chose her words carefully.

"Steven? Are you okay?"

"Why can't I make you understand, White." He said, strangely monotone. "All this pain, all these broken hearts… why can't I just make you understand that's not _right_."

She didn't reply. He didn't care.

"We're… we're supposed to be _family._ And you can't even call me by my _name_." He let himself fall backwards, sitting down and tearing up. "Why is there so much hatred in you? Why won't you listen to me? Is causing misery in other people's lives all you know how to do?"

White's expression started to turn into a frown. "You listen to me, Pink—"

Steven bubbled her head. He couldn't hear her say anything. She desperately tried to eye-shoot her way out of it, but to no avail. Her hands tried to pop it, but spikes came out of the pink globe.

Eventually, more bubbles showed up around her wrists and ankles. They all expanded and contracted until they moved her limbs down to the floor, locking her in. She couldn't move.

Steven just sat on top of her body, head down and hands pulling at his hair.

"Hey, dude, come on— you're being weird." Amethyst said from the ground level, worried and genuinely disturbed.

"I don't know what to do." He sobbed softly. "I've tried everything. I've been trying for years. I don't know how to make her see it."

"See what?" Amethyst asked.

"That she's WRONG!" He lost it, tears running down his face as he yelled at his friend. "She just won't listen! She doesn't _care_!"

"Then poof her and let's get out of here." Said Garnet, putting her gauntlets on. She had very little sympathy for any of the Diamonds at this point. "You've done your part, and they clearly can't be trusted. It's not your fault, Steven. We're all as tired of this as you are."

"No! That just proves she's right!" Steven got up, upset at everything and everyone. "Just beating her up means she's got a point! It means she's just weaker than us, but that you can force anyone to agree with you if you just hurt them enough!"

He pointed at her face, letting it all out.

"If she doesn't change, _nothing_ changes. Homeworld is just gonna go back to the way it was, or worse! It has to come from her! She has to be wrong _and_ accept that she is!"

"Steven… you can't force someone into seeing things like you do." Pearl tried, hoping the boy would listen to her. The nervousness in her voice was palpable. "She's not you. Sometimes people just can't see each other's point of view."

Steve had something ready to say to her, but he stopped himself. What Pearl had just said sounded true, but in a way she hadn't anticipated.

"She's not me." He repeated it, slowly. His gaze traveled from the Gems to White Diamond, who was still struggling against his bubbles. Steven felt the beginnings of a smile forming on his face. "Pearl, you're… you're a genius!"

She was usually distracted by compliments, but the context was too dire.

"What are you talking about?"

Steven ran up to White Diamond's head and stopped near her neck. He took her head bubble off, which allowed her to talk again. "You _insolent_ little—"

"White Diamond." His voice came out loud, desperate, and slightly unbalanced. She stopped talking. "I'll give you one more chance. If you can't see your problem after this, if you _really_ can't understand where I'm coming from— then fine. I'll stop trying. You can go back to conquering planets left and right, and we'll just go back to stopping you. We can stop having these conversations forever."

She didn't seem to realize what was going on. Despite that, White was still casually curious about the turn of events.

"And what, pray tell, do you intend to do to convince me?"

He extended his open hand to her.

"Fuse with me."

The Crystal Gems yelled their variations of _What?, Steven no!_ and _That's crazy!_ , but he didn't flinch. White Diamond stared at him as if he'd just told her someone died.

"You _think_ —"

" _Shut up and listen to me!_ You don't understand! We have you surrounded in your own Tower! I beat you with _one_ attack!"

He had been incredibly lucky and didn't even _know_ he could lock people in like this with his shields, but she didn't need to know that.

"I'm giving you a chance to turn this loss into a victory. If you literally go inside my head and still _can't_ see what I'm talking about, then fine. You're irreducible. I'll never talk to you again." He motioned with his hand again. "But you have to try. You have to make the attempt."

There was silence in the White Tower. Steven could hear his own heartbeat drumming in his chest. White's eyes darted slightly between his hand and his face, unsure of what to think of the whole situation.

Finally, she sighed.

"Very well. I will abide by your terms." She hid none of her disdain and annoyance from her tone. "But make no mistake, Pink. This will not go your way."

"We'll see in just a minute." He said, starting to tap his foot to a rhythm in his head. "Try to keep up."

 _One, two, three, four._ His fingers snapped and he started to spin. Obviously, he wasn't going to let her dance— she was much too big and psychotic for that.

 _Five, six, seven, eight._ But he could feel the synchronization starting. Her head moved along with him; her eyes followed his movement perfectly. Eventually, she closed them.

He spun and jumped towards her face. Their diamonds glimmered and shined, and finally, so did their bodies.

There was a bright, overwhelming lightshow, and Steven stopped feeling.

* * *

Steven grumbled and grunted as consciousness set in. It was like waking up from a bad dream, drained and exhausted despite clearly having not done much in the last few hours.

The man looked around and he was home, lying on his bed. He searched for the Gems, and saw Pearl's silhouette downstairs, pacing around or something equally Pearl-y. He couldn't quite tell _what_ was going on; his vision was still adapting to… light? Regular functioning? Regardless, Garnet and Amethyst should be there, too.

Steven tried to call for them, but his tongue was dry and numb. It weirded him out. He was usually fine after nightmares— jumping off the bed in a cold sweat, maybe, but he was always functional. This time, however, his whole body felt heavy.

"Pe…ar…l?" He managed to get the word out, trying to break out of his haze. "Pearl!" He said, and immediately realized something was wrong.

His voice sounded much deeper than he expected.

Pearl quickly climbed the steps to his bedroom. She looked as uncomfortable looking at him as he felt existing at that moment.

"Steven…?" She asked, quietly. Almost as if she was afraid.

"What's… wrong with me…?" He asked, trying to climb out of bed. His heavy limbs felt alien, and _why was he so buff._

He looked at hands that were not his, full of hair that wasn't there before, with proportions alien to his young body. Steven looked down and recognized his pink jacket and shirt, but everything was way tighter than before. He could barely move in those jeans.

Pearl didn't say anything. She just summoned a mirror out of her Gemstone and handed it to him. He pointed the object at his face.

He was an adult.

Steven had left for Homeworld, for all intents and purposes, looking like a 16-year-old. He was a little older than that— his body adjusted to his "mental" age automatically. While he was about 18, he had grown accustomed to that version of himself, and simply did not feel much different than what he had appeared. He thought he'd stay there for a while, at least until Connie started to look like an adult.

Yet, from inside the mirror, a man at least twenty-three years old was looking back at him. He had a defined jawline with a few beard hairs poking out of his chin, broad shoulders and a clearly defined chest, even through his shirt. His hair was a wild mane of locks and spirals that went down his neck, stopping around his shoulders. It looked just like his mother's but colored like his father's.

"What…" He finally managed to get up. He was so much taller. Almost Pearl's size. "What happened…?"

"Yoooo!" Yelled Amethyst, finally climbing up. "Stev-o! Look at you! You look like a _boss_ now!"

He couldn't even react properly to whatever it was Amethyst was saying. His hand instinctively touched his Gemstone, a comforting habit he'd acquired during his childhood, but then he realized the cut was all wrong. It wasn't its usual octagonal shape; it was like a diamond—

Steven pulled the tight shirt out of his way and stared in abject horror at the explanation of what was going on.

"White Diamond." He muttered.

Just like in the Diamond Authority symbol, White Diamond was above Pink Diamond's upside-down shape, with their tips meeting on a center. This left spaces for the rest of the family; which Steven _really_ didn't want to think about. His Gemstones felt alien in their configuration, but they were definitely real. It had worked. They'd fused.

"Why am I not… why am I myself?" He asked, not sure to who. It was Garnet's turn to climb up the stairs. She looked displeased.

"Two Gems of the same kind fusing results in a larger, louder version of the same Gem. A bigger body being piloted by two, instead of a single consciousness." She said, touching Steven's shoulder. Somehow even the _feeling_ was slightly off. She seemed to realize that it made him uncomfortable and backed off gently. "You are now a fusion of Diamonds."

She made her glasses disappear, looking at him like he was half a stranger, half a loved one. He felt bad. Garnet was supposed to love fusion, but she was struggling to look him in the eye.

"But I feel like myself. I can't hear her anywhere."

He touched the side of his head, like he was trying to stop a leak. In his cursory understanding on how this process worked, he tried his hardest to concentrate, to access some hidden inner dimension within himself that would now include White Diamond in all her condescending glory.

But there was nothing, and no one.

"I just feel… more. Everything's so loud and vivid, every sensation is…"

Upon hearing that, Amethyst immediately clapped her hands right in front of his face. Steven got so startled that he fell back into his bed.

"Hahaha! Awesome." The short Gem said, only to be elbowed by Garnet. "Ow! Sorry. It just feels like a funeral here."

"Steven." Pearl asked, helping him up. "If you can't feel White in there, can you at least… unfuse? I have a bad feeling about this."

He nodded, closing his eyes to focus. When he opened his eyes and was still a hunk of a man, he tried to force it out like it was a kidney stone. Obviously, it didn't work.

"Nothing, I… I can't unfuse." He said it out loud, and that made it too real. "I can't unfuse. I can't, I… I-I…"

"Steven, calm down!" Garnet held his hands, and he started to count his breaths. That body made a _lot_ of weird noises when it was despairing. "You can unfuse later. Right now, we need to talk about Blue and Yellow."

The names sparked a strange sensation in his head. The usual surge of conflicting feelings that his weird aunts usually caused, but also a… longing. A feeling of nostalgia that had simply never been there before. When he spoke again, his baritone was even lower, dripped with some obscure purpose that he didn't quite understand.

"Show me Blue Diamond."

* * *

It was just like he imagined it. The basement was completely deserted, except for the giant diamond-shaped boulder, and the tiny grey ruby on its side. It was desolating, and it made Steven feel sick all over again.

"Do you feel any new powers, Steven?" Pearl asked, at first looking down, then remembering that Steven was now almost her size. "Anything that can help them?"

He scoured his mind and feelings for anything new, but he quickly realized he had no idea how White's powers worked. He shook his head, defeated.

"What do we tell Yellow Diamond?" Amethyst asked. Her hands were trying to keep busy by pulling her hair.

"We…" Steven started, surprised by his own voice again. He tried one more time. "We tell her the truth. She was close to White. She might know something." He turned and looked at his family. "I want to do this alone."

" _Steven._ " Garnet started; her motherly tone overwhelming.

"No, I mean it. This is… I asked for you to get involved before, but this feels like Diamond business."

He didn't even know what the sentence truly entailed, but it felt right to say it. He noticed all three backing away ever so slightly; just enough that he could tell they were uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. But I think it's something I must deal with. It's… mom's weird side of the family."

That seemed to resonate way better with them, although they were still hesitating.

"Alright, but holla if you need help, alright?" Amethyst came over, hugging him like she always did. Her hands felt tiny on him now. Like a kid's.

"You know the drill. Be back by dinner time or we're coming over." Said Garnet, smiling at him.

He smiled back, but something weird inside of him made him think of a new retort.

"Oh, I'm not a kid anymore."

He was _still_ smiling, but it was… different. Slightly more confident and dignified. Neither Pearl nor Garnet noticed. Steven left towards the door, to go to the Warp in the other room. The Gems remained in the quiet, far too large basement. Amethyst finally coughed, asking for attention.

"Hey, uh, do you guys think he's okay?"

Neither answered for a while, simply trying to read each other's feelings by looking into their eyes. It was obvious they were all thinking the same thing.

"I don't know." Said either.


	5. CHAPTER 4 - White Noise

Stepping into Homeworld felt stranger than it ever had before.

Steven had stepped into this planet after being kidnapped and put on trial for his mother's murder, he had arranged a ball while in a ballerina's dress, he had fought a giant robot and had wielded a flaming sword against it. But this…

This felt _right_.

He didn't mind the stares, for once. They were different this time. Perhaps because his shirt was too small for his body, and they could see his diamonds. _Diamonds_ , plural. The mere thought of it was enough to throw his head for a loop. He'd done it. White was gone.

Where _was_ she?

The more he thought about it, the less sense it made. When fusion was the slightest bit inharmonious, he could feel himself and the other person there with him. He could talk, he could touch, feel with the body that was theirs and his at the same time. But this was just… him. Steven. Just way _more_ of him.

It felt good. Maybe it was the expectation of having someone around and them not showing up, but it felt… quiet. Nice and quiet. After these past couple days, he could use nice and quiet.

Which was somewhat paradoxical, considering in whose door he was about to knock.

He didn't knock, and barely noticed it.

"Yellow Diamond." He said, less a greeting and more a statement of fact. The giant and her Pearl were looking at graphs on a holographic screen, and when they gazed at Steven, they almost gagged.

"Wh… what is the _meaning_ of this?" Yellow stood up from her chair, flustered, confused and angry all at the same time. "Steven, is that _you…_?

Her eyes fell on his Gemstones, and a massive stream of emotions hit Steven's empathy. Fear, surprise, dread, embarrassment. His unwavering gaze probably didn't help. Yellow Pearl seemed to be completely out of her depth, not quite sure where to look.

"Your Gem…" Yellow Diamond finally muttered. "What happened? White hasn't left her chamber in days."

"We're out of our chamber now." The sentence left his mouth before he could really think about it, but he had no regrets. "Look at me. You know what happened."

She approached slowly, as if getting close to a bomb. Steven provided her the kindness of floating up to her eye level. He planned to be more casual, but now that he was here, this felt much more natural.

Yellow's face betrayed her feelings of worry, yet strange fascination. "Half the full package, I see."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, it's just an old story White… I guess _you_ used to tell us." She crossed her arms, apparently more to safeguard herself from Steven than to hold a pose. "How we weren't always three, or four, eventually. I never understood where you took it from. Certainly not any records I have access to."

"I'm not White Diamond, Yellow." His voice was stern, but serene. "I'm not Pink Diamond, either. I'm still just Steven." Her face didn't seem to agree to him, but she said nothing. He continued. "Is this story real?"

"I don't know. It doesn't line up with any of my earliest memories. Ever since the beginning of the first Era, all I remember is being a leader alongside White and Blue." She looked at her Pearl, who jumped at the sudden attention. "But no Gem really remembers their inception, do they now. It all just blurs together after a while."

Yellow Pearl hid behind her tablet. Yellow Diamond ignored her and looked back at Steven.

"What did you come here for, Steven? And what happened between you and White?"

He approached ever so slightly, which caused Yellow to recoil slightly into her personal space.

"Tourmaline and the Gem Editor."

The giantess took a deep breath. "Ah, yes. White's little horror show."

"So, you knew."

"I knew it was being developed. Or, hypothesized, really." She avoided his gaze, but he did not mind. "White was having one of her days, as you must have noticed before… _whatever_ happened. She was sure that your good intentions had cost us progress. But I'm guessing you can just ask her in there."

"No. I can't even feel her. As far as I know, she's unconscious."

" _Hmm_. In any case, we had a small argument that you and Blue interrupted. We Diamonds stayed after you left. Discussed specifics of the plan to visit that planet you asked about and left."

It was Steven's turn to cross his arms. "That doesn't sound like what I heard."

"Oh?" She approached, suddenly more commanding. "And _how_ did you hear anything? We made sure you were gone." He didn't answer for just long enough that she eventually made the connection. "Ah, of course. Spinel."

"What did you two do to Blue, Yellow?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, and don't care for your tone."

"Blue left that room happy and content. She stayed that way until we found her in White's study, and then she tried to kill me and my friends." Steven realized he hadn't blinked in a while. Didn't feel like it. "You are the last person who saw her before this, weren't you? You even traveled together."

Yellow seemed genuinely disturbed by the implications. "I would never do anything to Blue." She raised her hand up to her chin, thinking about the evidence. "But the alternative is definitely upsetting."

"And why's that?"

"Because if White truly was doing experiments with Gem Editing, and Blue was affected, then that means that this wasn't the first time." Yellow bit her glove. "How long had she been affecting Blue's mind…?"

Steven also severely disliked that line of thought, but Yellow was right. It was the only one that made sense, assuming she was telling the truth. But then…

"What about Inbix?"

"What _about_ Inbix?"

"When you two showed it to me, it looked odd. Like it was part of another footage."

"Our sensors were malfunctioning, as I told you. We made visual contact with the planet and called you right away. It was deemed too dangerous to land on."

"So, you didn't go down on it?" He asked, floating around her head. "You didn't approach it?"

"Why would I?" He turned around to shoot her a glare. "That's not how I meant it; I have no reason to think there's anything wrong with the planet. Yes, maybe we didn't get close enough, and yes, maybe our readings were hasty, but I assure you my disinterest in your quest was not personal."

Steven was quiet for a while, holding his chin while he lost himself in thought. Yellow Diamond walked around him slowly, as if taking in his new look. But she also seemed to be looking for something.

"What happened to Blue?" She finally asked. "You said she was in White's study when you fused. No one has seen her all day."

Even if his sensations were augmented, Steven had to admit he was having some trouble getting in touch with his feelings. He didn't feel numb, but since he arrived at Homeworld, his heart had been strangely serene. Even when taking in other people's feelings he had managed to simply ignore them soon after.

But something about Yellow's voice pierced through whatever veil of tranquility that involved him. He felt a spike of _himself_ again, a boy who just wanted to make sure everyone was alright. His expression when he looked back at Yellow was pained and tired.

"Something… weird happens to Edited Gems when they poof or reject their new programming. It's like they turn to stone." Yellow stared at him in clear disbelief. He continued. "She disobeyed White, and her body couldn't take it. She hasn't reformed. I'm sorry, Yellow."

Yellow Diamond was a woman of sharp emotions, but also immense self-control. Every action she took was premeditated, and she boasted about being able to keep herself together through any ordeal. So when she spent a full ten seconds staring at Steven, completely motionless, with a frozen scowl on her face, he assumed she was going somewhere with this.

The Diamond took a long breath, closed her eyes, and put her hands behind her back. When she looked at Steven again, her diamond pupils were halved by her eyelids, like she was putting the bare minimum effort into opening them. He could tell she wasn't even focusing on him.

"Is she dead?" Yellow asked, monotone.

"I don't think so. I bubbled her and sent her to Earth. Her Gem is grey like a regular stone now."

She didn't visually react.

"And is it reversible?"

"White said the only way to reverse it would be for all of us to work together, but Blue can't reform."

"I see."

The silence was tense. Steven no longer had anything to gain by measuring personalities with Yellow Diamond. His gaze moved from her to her tiny Pearl, who was still in the same place as before, as jittery and nervous as ever. Stars, they really were all the same.

"Thank you for the report, Steven." Yellow said after a moment of silence. "It seems that I am the last remaining leader stationed in Homeworld. If there is nothing else, and if you've asked the questions you wanted to ask, then I must now ask for privacy."

"Are you okay?" His expression became softer, and more worried than it had been so far. His heart was open again. "Do you need to talk?"

"I need you two to leave."

"I told you—"

"You, and Pearl."

She jumped at the mention of her name. "M-my Diamond? When do you wish for my return?"

Yellow didn't answer, and Steven noticed that her fists were trembling. He floated down to where Yellow Pearl was and put his now-massive hands on her shoulder.

"It's okay, Pearl. We can hang out on Earth for a while. You can, uh… help us organize."

"Oh, I… if-if My Diamond—" Crackles of electricity came out of Yellow's eyes, interrupting Yellow Pearl's words. "I-I mean, yes. I obey, My Diamond… s."

Steven and Yellow Pearl left the room as fast as they could. When the heavy door closed behind them, they heard the crackles of electricity and concussive force rendering the room uninhabitable. It was like every storm on the planet had decided to happen at the same time, and then a bomb dropped at the end of it. But even through the white noise, he could still hear her shouting.

Yellow Pearl covered her mouth, closing her eyes and sobbing quietly. She was trying to be strong for her Diamond, even if Yellow couldn't see her right now. Steven hugged the little thing, patting her on the back for support. She didn't flinch away.

"There, there. It's gonna be okay." A thought occurred to him. "Have you seen Blue Pearl around?"

She shook her head, and then pulled him even closer. They stayed like that for a while, the man trying to piece together a large puzzle in his head, while the Gem was just trying not to break down and cry until the doors opened.

"How long do you think she's gonna do that for?" He asked, once Yellow Pearl calmed down. Not that she managed to stop crying.

"I think… a couple days." Steven raised his eyebrows with worry. She seemed to notice. "Sometimes she needs this. When Pink Diamond was… um, when she left, My Diamond didn't leave her tower for weeks. This is all she did."

"You don't actually have to help us out, but if you want a place to be, you can still come with me." She raised her eyes at him like he was promising her something impossible. "I know you probably want to stay with her, but you need to take care of yourself, too."

"But…" She kept looking at him, and then back at the door holding back a thousand thunderstorms. "But she needs me."

"Pearl," his hand touched her shoulder again. Steven looked into her eyes and smiled. "You can't take care of her if you don't take care of yourself. Yellow wouldn't want you to suffer."

That did it. She threw herself at him again, hugging his massive chest and sobbing into his shirt. He went back to patting her on her back. He had a feeling he would be doing a lot of that.

* * *

Pearl was in the kitchen when Steven came back. She was preparing an apple pie to see if it took his mind off all this terrible drama and waiting for her pupil to arrive. When the Warp turned on, she still expected to hear Steven running towards the kitchen and quickly hugging her, ready to tell her about what happened in Homeworld.

Instead, she heard loud expressions of curiosity, and a lot of runny noses. She looked to her side, and almost dropped the apple she had on her hand. "Steven, what is _happening_?"

Steven was surrounded by Pearls. Blue, Yellow and Pink, specifically. They were all much less pleasant than normal— even Blue Pearl looked like she was having an awful time. Yellow Pearl was trying to contain a sobbing attack, and Pink Pearl was… very confused, from the looks of it. The poor thing kept trying to look proper around Steven, but she couldn't take her eyes off the floor.

"Hey, Pearl." All the Gems around him turned around and performed their salute.

"Yes, My Diamond?" They all said in unison.

"No! No… uh, Earth Pearl." He somehow seemed to not have expected that. 'Earth' Pearl approached the menagerie, trying to skip being exasperated by their presence and going straight into her worried state. Something was clearly wrong.

"Why did you bring all of them here? And why are they… like this?"

Even if they had their differences, Pearl didn't think any less about her sisters. She genuinely wanted them to be happy. Seeing them like this was still hard.

"What happened?"

She held Yellow Pearl's hands in sympathy, and was suddenly being hugged by a very sad, very loud yellow version of herself. Her eyes met Steven's, and he didn't seem like he had any good news.

"I was just worried about them. Blue and White Diamond are gone, and Yellow is taking it… less than well. I just wanted to make sure they had a place to stay. If you're busy, they can stay—"

"Nonsense, Steven. I understand a thing or two about it." She smiled at her Yellow sibling, raising her chin and wiping her tears away. "There, there. Let's get you something to do. Blue, Pink, what about you?"

Blue Pearl only looked slightly better put together than Yellow Pearl did. Her hair covered her eyes completely, but it didn't take a genius to notice that she'd been crying for a while. She simply nodded and got off the Warp. Pink Pearl's hands were nervously grabbing and playing with her starry cape. She was visibly trembling at the thought of doing anything right now.

Earth Pearl approached her… elder? She'd always been jealous of the cracked-eye Gem, but now that she was so nervous, all she could feel was sympathy. Another Pearl left behind by a Diamond.

"Yo, Pearl, is the pie rea…" Amethyst barged into the kitchen, only to find the group of crying women and Steven, apparently still trying to figure out what to do next. "Oh, this _sucks_."

"What?" Steven asked, a bit more casually than he intended. The entire group looked at Amethyst as if she were an alien.

"What am I even gonna call all of you! Pearl has like a million nicknames already! Ugh, I'm fixing this right now." She approached, seemingly unaware of the direness of their situation.

She went towards Blue Pearl first, who recoiled shyly.

"Gosh, uh… you're gonna beee… Night Blue? Starry? Oh! Pearly! Because you look precious!"

"Pearly?" The blue Gem said, incredulous enough to break her silence. "But that's so innocent."

"Hahaha, yeah, perfect." Amethyst, seemingly satisfied, ignored Pearly's confusion and moved on to Yellow Pearl, who held on to Earth Pearl like she was being attacked.

"Oh hey, I know! Zappearl! Yeah, that's easy! Like that bird in the TV show Steven used to watch. I can even call you Zappy if I'm lazy. Whatcha think, Zappy?"

"What?!" She stopped being afraid for one moment to become enraged. "I'm not! I… that's not my name!" Zappy blushed and threw her fists down in annoyance, which got a chuckle out of Earth Pearl.

That chuckle ended when she saw Amethyst making her way to Pink Pearl.

"Hm…" The purple Gem scratched her chin like a cartoon, squinting at the ballerina and making her as aware of her personal space as possible. Suddenly, Amethyst jumped and pointed at her, dramatically. "Got it! From now on, you're gonna be Cap'n Pearl!"

Steven audibly gasped when he realized she was talking about Pink's cracked eye.

"Amethyst! That's not okay!" He tried to intervene, but the girl didn't seem to care.

Captain Pearl's face was taken over by shock. Slowly, her mouth started to twitch. Steven thought she was going to cry, but instead, she started laughing.

The tension evaporated as the sound of her laughter filled the room. It was low and reserved, but genuine. It sounded like she hadn't laughed in a very long time. It never stopped being a quiet laugh, but it was somehow enough to relax her sisters.

"I love it." She said, wiping a tear of joy from her good eye. "People never look at me too hard. They all try to ignore my eye all the time, they always assume I don't want to talk about it. It's always so…" She let the words die, losing herself into a comfortable smile. She stared straight at Amethyst. "Thank you, so much."

"No prob', Cap'n." Amethyst smiled, proud of herself. "Alright, now, as I was saying before. Hey Peeeearl." She said, dramatically pointing at Earth Pearl, as if to demonstrate her system worked. "How's that piiie coming along?"

"Um…" Pearl now realized she was the center of attention. "Coming along… nicely."

"Awesome!"

"But it's going to be another three hours at least."

"Awwww!" Amethyst, who didn't even need food to survive, threw her head backwards like a starving madwoman. "That's boring! Come on, P-Squad, let's go do something fun."

She grabbed Captain Pearl and Pearly's hands, pulling them towards the exit. Pearl gently held Zappy's hand and guided her out, a tentative smile on her face. The apple pie was probably going to have to wait. Steven watched as most of his present stress left the room.

"Oh, by the way Steven, Connie's here." Amethyst said, from the door.

Steven's heart skipped a beat. Oh god, she hadn't seen him yet, had she? Did she even know?

"Wh-why hasn't she come in?"

"Hiding behind Garnet outside!" And with that, Amethyst left.

Steven looked out through the window, and he could kind of make out Garnet's hair from a distance. He was suddenly aware of how tight his clothes felt, and how unnatural his gait was, and how messy his hair looked, and his shirt was all wet from other people's tears and he was barefoot because his sandals didn't fit and and and—

"Stop, okay, stop." He lightly slapped his cheeks, centering himself. "I've seen them do this. I can do it, too."

Steven closed his eyes and concentrated. He didn't much like shapeshifting, but this was slightly different. His body started to emit some limited light, but not like it was changing completely. He doubted he could find clothes his size among his things or get to his dad's and borrow slightly too large shirts and pants without passing by the women waiting outside. So, he did the next best thing.

His clothes shined brightly. Steven wasn't going too crazy with it. All he needed was a bigger version of his pink jacket, a new star shirt, and casual jeans and sandals. Nothing too fancy.

But as the clothes started to take form and he saw himself dressed as a taller, more muscular version of his 16-year-old self, something began to pull inside his head. An inspiration that, admittedly, he didn't know why was even there. He usually didn't care about how he dressed.

"Oh, why not."

He focused again, and his clothes shined. The pink jacket could stay, although he was altering the fabric to something a little shinier, but the black-and-yellow star shirt was now a white shirt with a slightly smaller star outline. His regular jeans were replaced by a clearly higher quality version of them. He made a brown belt and actual, real, no-nonsense shoes. _Shoes_. He only wore shoes when he was in a three-piece suit.

Steven went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn't noticed, but the tips of his hair weren't his regular shade of black. They were slightly pink, although so faded that it was hard to see. He got closer to his reflection to try to find anything else that he had missed.

His eyes were different.

It was very subtle. His eye color was the same black that he was used to, but there was some sort of light grey outline around. Almost imperceptible unless you were staring right at them. It wasn't like the grey lines that took over edited Gems, though. It was a color he recognized.

"White Diamond." Steven whispered, almost afraid to blink. "You're in there, aren't you?"

He stared into his own eyes as if they would answer him. When nothing happened, he allowed himself to blink, and immediately yelled in shock.

White Diamond was standing right behind him, only proportional to his human size. She was staring at him with a neutral expression, with none of the usual fake joy or repressed disdain that he was used to. At some earlier point in his life, Steven might have been tempted to turn around, but he was guessing she wasn't physical.

"Why can't I feel you?" He asked the reflection, not quite knowing how deep this connection went. "Why can't we unfuse?"

No reaction. She was statuesque, but he noticed her gaze followed his movement.

"Whatever it is, this isn't over yet." He promised. "And… we're going to save Blue. Please don't worry."

No response. Just silent staring. He was about to move away when he saw her right hand slowly rising.

He summoned his shield, even though he guessed it wouldn't matter. White's hand kept her methodical ascent, until it touched Steven's shoulder. He felt nothing, making the image _very_ uncomfortable. But she was there. It was really her.

Any doubts about White Diamond's presence disappeared when she painfully grabbed his shoulder.

"Ow!" He cried out as she kept pinching him, her fingernails digging into his flesh and bending him to the floor. He could almost hear his collarbone creaking under pressure. "Stop it! What are you doing?!"

He did finally turn around, and she _was_ there, looking down on him. Her eyes started to glow brightly, until a white flash of light inundated the bathroom.

And then the pain was gone. Alongside the heightened sensations. Almost every sensation, really.

Steven slowly rose to the mirror again. His expression of confusion was only as strange as the fact that he was actively having to maintain it. If left untouched, his face settled on a dull, neutral visage. He didn't really feel confused. He didn't feel anything at all. His heart was numb and serene, like he had no need for anything.

Steven was certain that he could just stand there, in his bathroom, one minute away from meeting with his girlfriend, forever. Not moving, not needing to eat or drink, just… stand there.

He'd felt this way before.

"Homeworld." He expected the words to sound hollow in this state, but they sounded strangely confident. Statements of fact. "I felt like this when I was in Homeworld. When I talked to Yellow Diamond."

He approached the mirror. The black in his eyes was brighter than usual. Whiter.

"Is this our fusion? We just… nullify each other? Or is this _you?"_

This time, _his_ eyes emitted the white light. And suddenly, he was alone, and himself again.

The sudden shock of emotions and sensations dazed him. It was like gasping for air after almost drowning, and realizing that the air contained every perfume, smell and odor you'd ever been exposed to. He almost fell to his knees. Steven held the edge of the sink so hard; he was surprised the ceramic didn't break.

Steven's whole body shook as it tried to remember how to feel like a human being again. His senses were heightened once again, which didn't help. Was this what it had felt like for White to allow her feelings to come out? If that's how her powers worked, she never complained. It never looked like she was in any discomfort.

It took him a full three minutes to calm down. He investigated the mirror again, but the other Diamond was gone. After allowing himself a moment of silence to fully recompose, he wiped the cold sweat off with a towel, and made to walk out the door. Connie was waiting for him.

Stars. Connie was outside. This wouldn't be fun.

* * *

Steven always tried not to think about their age difference.

Okay, that wasn't exactly it. He was a few months older than she was. But time treated them differently. At this point in her life, Connie had blossomed into a beautiful 18-year-old, easily the most gorgeous woman Steven had even seen. She still grew her hair, but it was always stuck in a practical ponytail that went down to the middle of her back.

Her penchant for sword fighting inspired her to dress practically, but that never stopped her from wearing bright, happy colors. Pretty skirts, frilly dresses, stamped shirts with her favorite characters on them… Steven knew he could write an essay just about her appearance, yet that was far from the reason why he loved her so much. Sure didn't hurt, though.

He had expected to grow alongside her, but before this whole mess, he stagnated at 16. He didn't understand why. He had _actively_ tried to feel older several times and had done a bunch of things that 16-year-olds were probably not supposed to do. But he knew that's not how it worked. His heart had to feel it, too.

So, for a couple years now, Connie had… dated? Well, they didn't use the d-word yet. _Was-Going-Out-With_ sounded less serious, but also like the sort of thing Connie wouldn't tell her mom about. Whatever. The point is, for a couple years now, Connie had looked older and more mature than Steven, and that had been the accepted status quo. It didn't affect whatever their relationship was. He always feared that she would just keep growing older while he stayed a teenager forever, and eventually she'd leave him because of it.

Yet as he walked out of his beach house and stared at the pillar that was Garnet, he was an adult. Older than Connie, wearing nice clothes, _real_ _shoes_ , and feeling decidedly like not a kid.

He saw Garnet letting go of Connie's hand, and allowing her to see him. Connie seemed mildly annoyed for being treated like this, but that all went away once she realized she had to look up to talk to Steven.

"S…" The word got stuck between her lips. She didn't seem to know where to stare at. Oh god, she was checking him out. "Steven…?"

"Hey, Connie." Did he sound right? Was that creepy? He wanted to be reassuring and kind and all the things she said he was good at being, but… "uh, surprise."

"That's…" She slowly approached, one of her hands raised as if she was touching a glass cage. Steven could feel his heart thrashing and turning inside his chest. "You're so…"

"I'm still me." He tried believing he sounded more convincing to her than to himself. "It's still me, I'm not different. I promise I'm still Steven."

Connie didn't reply at first. She stopped moving forward just before reaching him. Steven was _much_ taller than he thought he would be compared to her. Should he kneel? God, no, that'd be like talking to a kid.

He wanted to run away, he wanted to run away so bad, should he say anything, should he keep talking—

"Panicking?" She called him back to reality. He stared at her simple smile and comforting eyes. And suddenly, everything was fine. "You look like you're gonna be sick, Steven."

"O-oh, uh, sorry." He recoiled from her proximity a little, breaking eye contact to recompose himself. _ShedoesntthinkImweirdohgodohmystarsohmy_ —

"Hey, um…" She approached him again with kind of a cute little hop, leaning forward to his side with her hands behind her back. "You look really cool. I like the shoes."

At least now Steven could confirm he was still himself. He was blushing like a fire hydrant. He turned his head to face Connie, and managed to glimpse Garnet in the background, giving him a victory sign. He was still shaking, but he was going to chalk that off to warping jitters. Surely those were a thing.

His excuses melted away when Connie hugged him from the side. "Steven, really. You look great. Don't worry about it."

It was the last part of the sentence that broke him. He hugged her back with probably too much strength, and they were probably too close for comfort with Garnet _right there_ , but it didn't matter. This was why he loved Connie. More than anything, she was his best friend.

Stars, he should probably be more explicit about that at some point.

"Garnet told me you fused with White?" She said, still hugging him. "Does that mean…?"

Steven realized, embarrassed, that she could probably feel the difference in his Gemstone shape with her own body with the way they were hugging.

"Oh, yeah." He lifted his shirt so she could see his twin diamonds and couldn't help but notice somewhat of a blush on her face when he did so.

 _Oh, I have abs now._ Ignore it, Universe. Ignore it.

"It's not like other fusions, though. Sometimes I can kinda see her, but I can't hear her thoughts. It's like she's sleeping."

"See her?" She looked back at his face, head back in the game. "What do you mean?"

Steven, Connie and Garnet went back into the house. He told them all about his experience in the bathroom. While Connie looked mortified, Garnet was a solid wall of quietude. In Garnet terms, that either meant she was in chaotic internal turmoil, or seeing into every possible future at once, trying her hardest to guide them towards a brighter one.

"Are you okay?" Steven asked her, when he was done.

"No." Her lips barely moved. She didn't want to separate, but it was taking a lot. She wanted to talk to Steven herself. "This is wrong. This is not how fusion is supposed to go at all."

"Maybe it's different for Diamonds?" Connie asked, leaning forward on the couch. "I mean, I know you've formed Sunstone and Obsidian together before, but maybe Steven and White just work differently?"

"I have never heard of anything like it." Her Sapphire hand trembled a bit, but she took hold of herself, and took her glasses off. Her three eyes stared into Steven, looking extremely worried. "Gems hurting each other while fused, not communicating, not even feeling that they're together… Steven, I'm scared for you. This was a bad idea."

Steven could count the number of times he'd heard Garnet say 'I'm scared.' This was number three in two decades. "I'm sorry. I just thought…"

"It's not your fault. Something's clearly gone wrong that you couldn't predict. We just have to find a way to fix it."

"Thanks." He said, but his heart wasn't into it. "Connie, do you have any ideas? About this, or about Blue?"

"Hmmm." The girl looked up, staring at nothing. "White said you'd only be able to heal Blue Diamond and the Ruby soldier by using all their powers?"

"Yeah. But without Blue herself, we can't do that. I guess it would be like when we tried fixing Gem corruption without White."

"Right. How about… um, never mind."

"Huh? What's wrong?" Connie had that little awkward shuffle she did when she realized what she was about to say wasn't as good, nice, or helpful as she thought. Either those things, or it was dangerous. "You thought of something."

"It's… I don't wanna say it."

Steven put his hand on top of Connie's, so that both would be touching the couch. "Come on, everything helps."

She gulped, and then sighed. Her eyes didn't exude joy about being convinced.

"Remember when we were fighting against White Diamond, how you fused with the Gems after they poofed?"

"Yeah, I…" The idea clicked in his mind. "Oh."

"No way." Garnet stepped in, authoritative. "That's too dangerous. We have no idea what this grey corruption will do to you if you fuse with Blue."

"Yeah…" Steven said, not making eye contact.

"Steven, _no._ "

"I know, I know." But the idea was sound. If he could fuse with Blue Diamond in her Gem state, then all he'd need would be Yellow. "But maybe if we did it, we could figure out a way to unfuse… no?"

"I think Garnet's right, it was a dumb idea." Connie pulled on his jacket. "Please, I don't want you getting hurt."

He couldn't ignore both. They were right. But…

"If not that, what else do we have?" He asked, finally able to look them in the eye.

The trio fell silent. It was a dumb, dangerous idea, but it was the only idea they had so far.

* * *

Weird design aside, Steven thought his mom's spaceship was pretty cool. It was the bottom half of the Diamond's giant robot, which he never understood the point of, but it was a pair of pink legs capable of closing in distances at faster-than-light speeds. He barely used it, since the galaxy was connected by Gem Warps, but it was a convenient way to go places he shouldn't go to.

All the fusion drama aside, he had to know what was going on with Inbix. The whole ordeal sounded infinitely less personal than what was happening to his Diamond family, but it was still the closest thing this whole crisis had to an inciting incident. If Yellow didn't know what was wrong, Blue was out of commission and White was… unavailable, then he would just have to go there and see it for himself.

His stomach felt cold and panicky thinking about what White could have done to them, considering they were her colony in the past. The people of Inbix had doubted Steven's intentions at first, but eventually they joined the list of civilizations who accepted his message of hope, peace, and love without much of a fight. Yes, she had relapsed into her old ways of thinking, but how bad could it have gotten?

"Oh no, I think I forgot my water bottle." Connie said, sitting down on his side.

He'd brought Connie and Captain Pearl along. The Crystal Gems had asked to come, but he didn't expect any trouble, and that ship got really crowded with so many worried people at once.

Captain had adjusted well enough to her new living arrangements, although she didn't seem to understand the point of having her own bedroom. None of them did, really. Therefore, Pearl got all her sisters to live together in a triple-bedded townhouse in Little Homeworld.

Hijinks ensued immediately, but it all sounded good. Zappy didn't want to share space and set up arbitrary, yet sensible perimeters. Art supplies were provided to Pearly, and immediately utilized to paint the walls in distinct colors. Captain practiced her ballet literally all the time, regardless of what was going on.

It took a few days, but apparently, they all went on some life-changing adventure together and settled their differences as friends and colleagues. Steven hadn't gone along; he'd been busy figuring out this fusion thing. But he missed out on a new Pearl song, so he was kind of bummed out about that.

Anyway, Captain came because she knew of White's endeavors with colonization and would be useful managing contact with the natives. Also, she really liked Steven.

"My Diamond, I know the exact coordinates, and everything there is to know about the Hymbyxian people." She was on his left, checking the holographic display to manage their flight. "I am an expert on their cultural norms, their language, the appropriate words to use when referring to their neck size—"

"Right, uh, thanks Captain Pearl." Steven said, distracted. He didn't even correct her addressing him as, he assumed, either Diamond. "How long until we arrive there?"

"Approximately half an hour."

He had to stand up throughout the whole trip to make sure it worked. It was probably more convenient for the other Diamonds, who could just sit down and control it with their arms or head. Staying still for Gems was trivial, but not for him.

The dread building up in his stomach didn't help, either.

"Are you okay?" Asked Connie. She'd just finished training some sword katas for about an hour. The girl could always see when he wasn't having a good time. "Are your legs cramping?"

"No, no. I just… I'm afraid of what we'll find." He stared at the monitor showing the outside view. The vastness of space always looked fascinating to him, but after two years practically living on the road, it all started to feel so small. "What if she hurt them for some reason?"

"Why would she do that?"

"I don't know, I guess she just has a history?" He didn't want to sound dismissive, but his voice came out wrong. He quickly followed up on it. "I mean, she had no reason to look into Gem Editing either. Everyone was doing…"

He stopped. White's words came back to him, as fresh as they had been about a week ago. _Stagnant, disgusting, not human, Pink_ …

"I… I thought everyone was doing fine." He whispered under his breath. Steven didn't feel depressed easily, but this was close. "Was I wrong? Like, maybe White's got a point, I never… I always thought everyone would be happier doing the things we do all the time."

Connie held his hand. Her eyes were kind and understanding.

"I get it, Steven. And I don't think you did anything wrong. I went to Homeworld with you, and it was miserable. You made people's lives better."

He tightened his grip, but still couldn't get rid of the guilt in his chest. "But what do we know about what's best for them…? We're human."

Steven stopped himself and let go of Connie's hand.

"You're… human. I don't even know what I am anymore." He touched both his Diamonds. He didn't feel like a fusion, or like himself, anymore. He didn't know _what_ he felt like.

Connie avoided his eyes, and he knew why. Sometimes they talked about Steven and his relationship to humanity, and it was awkward. He noted she had stopped high fiving his dad while saying 'human beings!' after a particularly uncomfortable talk they had. Connie changing habits because of him made Steven feel terrible, and it was all stacking up on top of this whole situation.

"I'm happier."

Both looked at Captain Pearl, whom they had honestly forgotten was listening to the conversation. Even the slight pink tint of her skin couldn't hide the fact that she was blushing. She forced herself to have eye contact with Steven and smiled, albeit very timidly.

"I'm… happier… doing what you do." She held one of her arms as if to safeguard herself, or maybe to stop from shaking. "It's… well, it's nice. And it's the best thing anyone's ever done for me. I just haven't properly thanked you for it yet, My… Steven."

Steven couldn't take his eyes off the pink Gem, who was seemingly unable to continue without welling up. He understood; his eyes were welling up too. To save her the trouble, he put his hand on her shoulder, and smiled back.

"Thanks, Pearl. I mean it."

She touched his hand softly and went back to working on the ship's controls.

Steven looked at Connie again. The stiffness on her expression was gone. Even if his feelings were still bothering him, Captain's save was enough to put his head back in the game. He checked the monitor again and recognized the colors of the Aurelius System. They stopped right before entering the fourth planet's orbit.

"Alright. Captain Pearl, hail Inbix for me! On screen!" Steven tried sounding like a cool commander, but then ruined it by leaning towards Captain like a curious kid. "We can do that, right? That's how it's done?"

"Yes, I'll open all hailing frequencies… hmm." She pressed a few buttons and slid some items across the screen, but nothing seemed to satisfy what she wanted to do. "It's… strange. There is indeed an electromagnetic storm happening right now, but all the channels seem to be impervious to it. Mildly unstable, maybe, but they're all _working_."

"Oh. That's great. Is that not great?"

"But no one's answering the call." She turned the screen to Steven, pointing out several screens showing only static. "It's like there's something else jamming every signal coming from Aurelius-4."

"Can we do anything about it?" Connie got up, placing her sword on her back. "Like an EMP or something?"

"I can try a few things, but whatever this is, it was done on purpose. The fact that it was also scrubbed off the star maps, I…" She stopped abruptly, paralyzed. Connie, confused, tried to approach her.

"Captain Pearl?" She asked, waving her hand in front of Captain Pearl's face.

Her good eye looked lazy, as if she'd just woken up from a dream. Steven could barely make out her whispering something.

"What did you say? Pearl. Pearl!" Steven asked, eventually touching her. She startled back to life.

"Wha—! Oh goodness, I'm so sorry! I…"

"What were you saying?"

"I… I don't know." She gently touched her own face, as if trying to test if she was alright. "But there's something… oddly familiar about all this."

Steven didn't like any of this. "Okay. Either way, try to turn off anything that's blocking communications." She nodded and proceeded to work on her interface.

The ship summoned a pink beam of light, that Steven hoped was harmless. The beam charged up for a few seconds, and then shot directly at the planet. When the light dissipated, the image of the planet started to shimmer, and eventually distort like a broken screen.

"A hologram." Captain Pearl said, sounding distant. "It's almost like…"

The illusion finally turned off. Steven almost screamed.

The good news was, the worst-case scenario hadn't come to pass. Steven fully expected the entire planet to be an illusion, and for White to have vaporized it off the universe. The bad news was, she apparently tried.

There was a giant crater covering up about half of a continent. Clouds seemed to refuse to go over it, and cracked valleys surrounded the edges of the mostly perfect circle. Connie couldn't even look. Captain covered her mouth with both her hands.

He hugged his friend but couldn't stop staring at the screen. Why would anyone do such a thing?

"Pearl?" He asked, incredulous. "Is there… anyone down there?"

She looked at the interface again, and multiple squares on it started to come alive. Nothing good seemed to come of it.

"I think so, but… I'm…" She looked up again, fixated on the destroyed planet. Pearl wobbled as if she was about to fall. "… doesn't that look familiar…?"

"Captain!" Connie held her by her shoulders, shaking her out of her trance. "Snap out of it! What's going on?"

Steven prepared to move the ship. "We have to go down there. There has to be _something_ we can do."

As he navigated space and figured out a landing zone, he tried his hardest to ignore the fact that he agreed with Pink Pearl. This did look familiar. And not in the way he expected.


	6. CHAPTER 5 - Family Reunion

It was even worse on the surface. The hole was so large, Steven couldn't quite make out where the epicenter was. The area around the crater was completely dead, and he could almost see magma in the cracks around the circumference. The smell of burnt trees and smoke filled the air, even though nothing was on fire. Aside from a sickly-sweet smell that Steven couldn't quite place.

"What happened here?" Connie asked, horrified. "A meteor this size would have burned the atmosphere… we wouldn't be able to breathe."

"I don't know." Steven kneeled on a random patch of land, licked his hand, and spread his healing saliva on the floor. He saw a small circle of light appear around it, only for a singular flower to grow, barely an inch above the ground. "It doesn't even _heal_ right. I've never seen damage like this before…"

Captain Pearl was observing the environment in silence. She looked at a part of the horizon that seemed closer to the shore and squinted her eyes as if to see further.

"My Steven!" She called, so natural that Steven barely caught on to the first word. "I see Hymbyxians approaching us!"

Steven turned to where she looked and saw three tall figures moving towards them. Then he looked again, and realized they were three normal-sized figures with extremely long necks. Their skins were something between blue and green, they had four arms, and the closer they got, the more their wounds and damage to their tribal-looking clothing became obvious. When they finally arrived, Steven realized in shock that one of them was missing an arm.

"It's the Universe." One of them whispered, with a mixture of reverence and fear. The other two joined their four hands, as if in prayer. "He is stronger."

"Please, Universe, we don't deserve your presence." The taller who appeared to be the leader, the one missing an arm, stepped forward. "You've liberated us, and we wasted our opportunity."

"Um, hi." Steven started, but then was taken by a strange confidence. "I knew other members of your people, not you. What is your name?"

"Chief Tyn'cactu." The leader responded, lowering his head. Which, from Steven's perspective, just looked like he was looking down.

"What happened to your world? I thought everything was going well."

"Is this what you're here for?" The tallest one barked. "To ask us stupid questions?"

The last of the entourage approached Steven. He could kind of see that the alien had some hair, but it was legitimately hard to see the top of their heads.

"Excuse me, Universe. I am Pyn'drangea, a doctor in our local community. I believe I can answer your question."

He stopped to wait for Steven's consent, which was given. His expression turned from neutral to pained as he looked up at the stars.

"After your last visit, we tried adjusting back to life after Gemkind. Our people were still wounded by the memories of their occupation, and some of us thought we accepted your kindness too readily. That there were methods we could use to get even."

"Even?" Asked Connie.

"We wanted revenge." The quiet third member said, with both sets of arms crossed. "I am Captain Hyn'Vender. I am one of several thousand men and women who decided that reparations were in order."

"A captain? But his eye is undamaged…" Muttered Captain Pearl, apparently oblivious to the situation for one second. No one paid her any mind.

"I thought you were peaceful." Steven asked Hyn'Vender. "When I came here, so many people were just happy to be alive, and to be able to return to their lives…"

"But what about the lives we lost?" Doctor Pyn'drangea stepped forth, upset. "What about the people who couldn't go back home after we rebuilt them? My wife and daughter were on the site of the first Quartz invasions to our planet. We—"

"Doctor." The leader put one of his hands in front of Pyn'drangea, who stepped back, but kept glaring at the visitor. Steven could feel the doctor's pain, and it terrified him. To lose the family he still had…

"War was not kind on our people." The Chief said. "We emerged from oppression and slavery angry, hurt, and… decisions were made."

Connie was the first to notice that at least Captain Hyn'Vender was armed.

"Hey, that pistol…"

Steven looked down, and saw a small gun-looking device, apparently powered by a shining crystal. He had no idea how he hadn't noticed it before, but for some reason, the sight of it made him panic. Steven jumped back and raised his shield, extremely confused as why he was so ready to fight. The leader raised his three hands in a show of peace.

"Please, Universe, do not be afraid of us. We mean you no harm." He looked at his partners, and at least the good doctor seemed to agree. Hyn'Vender showed no such goodwill. "Captain. Please, your Chisel."

Hyn'Vender huffed, rotating the weapon with one of his hands and handing it to Tyn'cactu. The alien pressed a button on its side, and carefully offered it to Connie.

"You don't seem like a Gem, so it will pose no threat to you."

Captain Pearl approached Connie as she observed the weapon. It was as large as her arm. A crystal sphere was encrusted in the middle of the weapon, with two flanks of the sphere poking out to the sides. It was like an old pistol with a small crystal ball instead of an ammunition wheel.

"You called it a Chisel…?" Pearl asked. Steven had dropped his arm, but the shield was still out.

"Our world was not proper for Gem-hatching, so The Great Diamond tried to enslave us for other resources." The leader looked back at the shore where they'd come from. "Several of the Blulites and Brightstones worked tirelessly over our lands, shaping and twisting our natural beauty."

Steven looked at Captain Pearl, confused. She immediately replied. "That's what this planet calls Lapis Lazulis and Peridots, I believe."

The doctor nodded.

"Once they realized our soil was only good for these strange crystals, they used us as… well, everything else. Property, mostly." He took a deep breath, and Steven could feel the bad memories crawling down his back. "Hundreds of years of civilization erased for another race's comfort. But it all changed when we found out what our Purifying Crystals could do."

Steven carefully approached the Chisel. The spherical crystal in it was pure and sparkling, with infinite facets and cuts to its surface. He never felt more scared of a rock before, and he couldn't even tell why.

Until White Diamond looked at him from inside the crystal.

Her eyes were pure white, and her body was as stiff as before. Her mouth was open.

Was she _screaming_?

Steven looked back at the three men, who were motioning to be given their weapon back. Connie extended it to them, but Steven stopped her.

"What does it do?" He asked, with some fascinating anger to his voice. "What did you do to White Diamond?"

Captain Hyn'Vender stepped forward aggressively. "Nothing she wouldn't have done to us, _Mighty_ Universe. Nothing she didn't do to us for thousands of years before your so-called grace decided to act on it."

"Vander—" Pyn'drangea tried stopping him, but he deflected his attempt.

"The Chisels are the answer! They're the only reason we ever stood a chance when your leader came to us, looking at everything and everyone like we were garbage! I wish it had been me who shot her!"

"Hyn'Vender! Stop this now!" The leader pulled him with great strength, almost making him lose his balance.

"I came here?" Steven said out loud, holding his head. He had a massive headache. "I don't remember… why don't I…?"

"Steven, you never came here, it was White Diamond." Connie grabbed his arm, growing increasingly worried. "Are you okay? Do you feel anything?"

He felt his head getting lighter and lighter, as if he hadn't had anything to eat in days. Every light seemed to shimmer and die out in front of him, and standing up was such a hard task, he might give up on it entirely. Steven felt Captain Pearl's smaller hands joining Connie's in trying to hold him up. He heard the voices of his attackers, very distant from his head, and he saw the pistol being raised, and he just wanted to talk, to show he had changed, why couldn't they believe her, why would they shoot her first—

Steven screamed as he found that he could move again, but it was clear something was wrong.

He was not in Inbix anymore. He was in a white void, completely devoid of any objects or any singular source of light. His body looked flat against the directionless illumination. And he wasn't alone.

White Diamond was there. He looked down, and realized he was in his regular body again. The relief of having his old form back was only compared to the utter confusion and fear of his new environment.

"White…?" He asked, stepping forward. There was no obvious ground, but he didn't fall.

White Diamond was standing with her back to him, seemingly completely motionless.

"White Diamond? Is everything okay? Where are we?"

With the sound of his voice, she started to shake uncontrollably. Shapeless dark blobs started to form all around Steven and White, and while he didn't quite understand what they were, the size difference and suspiciously long silhouettes…

"Please," he heard White's voice say. She sounded nervous. She never sounded nervous. "Please, I come in peace, I just…" And then she turned around.

Steven screamed. The Gemstone in her forehead was completely greyed out. Her eyes were a broken mess, a white background corrupted by black streaks. She was extending her hands out, as if to welcome something, or to reach someone far away.

"Please, I won't harm you again, I'm trying to change!"

Several of the blobs shot White Diamond with strange lasers. As soon as they connected, the white void started to fill up with all seven colors, and it was as horrific as it was beautiful. Steven ran towards White Diamond, who kneeled in pain and held on to her head as if it was about to split in half.

Her screaming was the loudest thing Steven had ever heard. It was like he was standing next to a jet engine. The screeching ripped through his mind like a horrible nightmare, something he couldn't stop hearing no matter how hard he tried. He could barely keep his eyes open.

Finally, White Diamond rocked her head back, and her Gemstone shined brighter than ever. And then, Steven realized what had happened to the planet.

White Diamond's energy wasn't usually a _force_. It was more of a lightshow that affected the immaterial. But whatever came out of her Gemstone was enough to punch a hole on the planet. And Steven could feel how much it hurt her in every sense of the word.

She stopped screaming, but a faint high-pitched sound kept being emitted from her. The white void was a mess of colors, with dark fractals closing in around them. The black blobs were gone, and the lack of a floor had been replaced with an enormous crater underneath them. He was so distracted by the sensory overload that he almost didn't hear White crying.

Something about the process had turned her into his size. Or maybe he was her size? It mattered very little.

Steven shook himself off and ran towards the woman. It was very bizarre interacting with her with those proportions, but it allowed him to hold her hands and try to help her up. She was gasping for air and trembling.

"White Diamond, are you okay?" He asked, frenzied. Her form was glitching as if she was about to poof, but nothing came of it.

He touched her face, a small part of him realizing that he would never be able to be this close to her. That small part soon became as preoccupied as the rest of his mind when they saw her face.

It was completely devoid of any emotion. Her eyes were entirely white, and light seemed to shine from somewhere within her. The high-pitch hum was coming directly from her Gemstone. Every time her lips moved a bit, shiny rays of light seemed to burn Steven's skin, and he had to resist letting go of her due to the pain.

Her hand grabbed his jacket firmly, pulling him even closer. The light from her eyes encompassed all his sight, he couldn't see her face, he couldn't see anything…

"…ven! Steven!" He heard Connie.

He blinked, and his vision adapted to his surroundings. He was standing as tall as the aliens, who stared at him like he was a monster. Connie was below, sword out and in battle position. Captain Pearl was on the floor, her Gem blinking like a flashlight.

Why was he floating?

"What… what happened?" He asked, growing increasingly aware of the higher frequency of that question in the last few days.

"Just _shoot_ him!" Captain Hyn'Vender yelled, taking out his Chisel. Steven's bubble shield came out much faster. "I knew you were a traitor! I knew it was all a ruse!"

Connie didn't bother trying to talk. She jumped forward, sword in hand, and cut the gun in two. The barrel fell to the floor, and Hyn'Vender stepped back, taken by surprise. It took him a moment to recompose, and one of his hands searched a holster behind his back. The hand came out with two batons, which he electrified as he brandished them.

He was going to hurt Connie. Steven knew she was capable, ready and willing to fight, but something about that realization snapped whatever it was that was holding him back.

A massive surge of energy emanated from him. It was enough to almost make Connie trip, and even the tall Hymbyxians had to take a step back. Steven closed his fists on his sides and spoke with two voices, at least one of which sounded familiar.

"Why did you hurt me?" He was much louder than normal, even though he was speaking normally. Everything looked so bright. "What did you do to me?"

"It's the Great Diamond." Doctor Pyn'drangea whimpered, terrified. "Have they merged…?"

"Stop! All of this must stop!" Chief Tyn'cactu raised his three arms, yelling as loud as he could. The wind howled like in a hurricane. The skies were darkening more and more every second.

They could hear the waves at the shore pushing back, with giant tsunamis arising from the deep sea.

"Please! We're sorry!" The chief cried in vain.

The Diamond was wholly uninterested in their apologies. A hand that was much like Steven's own was raised, and a pink bubble much like his own formed in front of it. It was soon surrounded by spikes, which grew and sharpened in a way Steven would never experiment with. With a flick of a finger, the bubble shot forward like a bullet, landing right next to his enemies and exploding like a mine. All three of them were thrown backwards, landing precariously on the dead ground.

Three other spike bombs started to form around her. The brightness around her vision illuminated her purpose. She had done everything right. She had changed her ways for the better, and yet she was yelled at, ordered around by a child, attacked on sight— none of this was _fair_ — why was her body so _weak—_

"STEVEN, STOP!"

Connie's voice snapped Steven out of _whatever_ he was going through. The girl was holding her sword in an attack position, but… she was looking at him. Her eyes were wide open, her lips were trembling. Something had drained the color from her face.

Oh, he did.

Steven dropped from the air like he'd never floated before. He felt much heavier than usual. His lungs wouldn't hold any air and his head was in the process of splitting itself wide open, or at least that's what it felt like. His eyes hurt as if he'd just been staring at the sun for hours, and suddenly entered a very dark room. He could barely make out shapes.

"Oh my god, oh my god," He heard Connie freaking out trying to hold him, but then stopping midway. "I can't take both, I can't—"

Where was Pearl? Where were the aliens…?

He couldn't keep it together, he was going to be sick, pass out and die all at once. At least one of those came true.

The last thing he saw was a giant pink blob showing up.

* * *

Steven woke up in a pink room.

He didn't move. His body was exhausted, and for some reason everything hurt. It had been a while since he'd just laid down and felt sorry for himself like that. It gave him time to sort through his memories.

They'd gone to Inbix. They'd been immediately confronted by the locals. Someone pulled out a gun… Connie screamed at him…

The memories made his head hurt even more. He looked around and realized that the pink room was the Legs Ship's bridge. Had Connie managed to carry him all the way there…?

Some movement in the corner of his eye seemed to be the answer.

"Hey Lion." His voice was raspy and weak, but it was always good to see his friend. He expected at least to be pet or licked by the giant creature, but nothing happened. "Lion?"

Steven turned around, and saw Lion standing up, strangely untrusting. A lot of times, Lion would just sit or lie in one place for days, only moving when whatever governed his behavior decided to act up. But this was different. It was looking at Steven like it would look at a stranger. It felt harrowing.

"Did I… do something?" He asked, obviously not getting an answer. Lions couldn't talk.

"Yeah, you did."

 _What_.

Okay, it hadn't been Lion. Connie showed up, walking into his vision cone. He remembered he was extremely worried about her.

"Connie, I—" He tried moving up, but his joints and muscles told him not to. "Oh my stars everything hurts."

"Let's start with that." Connie approached him, and he realized she was upset. "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Keep saying what?"

"The stars thing. You never picked that up from the Gems, and you started to say it as soon as you came back from Homeworld."

Steven hadn't even noticed it. "I guess it just… feels more natural."

"Oh yeah? Then what about the fact that your eyes were shining back then?"

" _What_?" The pain couldn't stop him from getting up this time. That proved to be a mistake, and it made him incredibly dizzy. He put a hand on the floor to catch himself from falling. "Uuugh. I don't know, I don't… I didn't do anything on purpose…"

"Steven, you could have killed those people."

Connie didn't sound like she was accusing him of anything. Maybe that was the worst part. She just sounded afraid. Listening to her talk to him like that hurt more than whatever was happening to his body.

He felt his eyes welling up, but he didn't know why he was crying. There were a lot of possible reasons.

"I don't know what's happening to me." He said, pulling his hair lighting with his free hand. "Ever since I fused with White, I just have these… these thoughts. They're the same as my usual thoughts, but they get weird. They get so dark."

The girl moved closed to him, kneeling so she could be on his eye level. "How dark?"

"I… I _know_ I could have killed those guys."

She took a step back. Steven felt like a short-fused bomb.

"Please don't look at me like that." He begged. He didn't mean it to sound like he was begging, but it did.

Connie held her fists to calm her trembling hands. She gulped and took a long breath. Blinked a bunch of times. And yet she still couldn't look him in the eye. Eventually, she slapped both her cheeks to get her focus back. Connie clearly forced herself to stare at him.

"You started to scream so loud. Pearl, too. Your Gems started to blink, and then you floated up and your eyes were all shiny." All of that started to sound painfully accurate to Steven's jumbled memory. "You started saying they took the first shot. That something changed you. And then you started to hurt them…"

Steven hid his face in his palms. The tears were starting to drop. Why was his life always a nightmare? Why him? All he tried to do was make people happy.

"How did Lion know where to find us?" He asked.

"Lion always knows where to find me." Lion purred from his position, which Steven decided to interpret as him becoming more comfortable. Lion shot him a glare that contradicted those ideas.

Steven looked behind Connie, and saw Captain Pearl lying down, apparently unconscious. "Do we know what's wrong with her?"

"I mean, it started at the same time as _your_ thing _,_ so I'm assuming she'll wake up." Connie crossed her arms, looking at the sleeping Gem. "She didn't say much before passing out, but there was something about her… apologizing?"

Steven didn't answer, and Connie had nothing else to say. Both stared at anything but each other for a while. Things hadn't been this awkward in a long time.

Everything had been so great just a week ago.

"I hate this."

"Steven—"

"I do, though. We were fine. Everything was fine. And now look at what we're doing. We're on a hostile alien planet, lightyears away from Earth, with no help from our friends and dealing with Gem war crimes."

Steven was too big and slightly too muscular to hug his own knees, at this point. He tried, but it only made him more miserable.

"I can't even go through it with my regular body anymore. It's… it's like I'm never gonna be free from this."

Connie sighed, moving closer and sitting by his side.

"It did feel like we were done doing this. At least for a while."

"Yeah. And I know we're never… _I'm_ never going to be done. I know there's always gonna be more to fix, someone else going nuts with power, or just bad _stuff_ everywhere. I know that. But…"

"But you thought you could catch a break."

How could she alternate between being mad at him and perfectly understanding him, every time?

"Yeah."

"I thought so, too, if that makes it better." She looked away slightly and played with her hair, embarrassed. "I was actually kinda looking forward to just… us."

Steven tried having his voice not crack _too_ much. "Us?"

"Yeah, I mean… just… going out. O-or staying in. Doing stuff together."

"But, like we always do, or…"

"I guess. But different? Like… calling it more."

Heart palpitations were a great way to forget about the grim reality of life and responsibilities.

"Um… more, more than friends? More than jam buddies? Officially? With a name? I-I know it's not… we don't really… we just don't say it out loud, but…"

She chuckled. "Yeah, more than jam buddies. Haven't heard that in a while."

"I just thought…"

"It's okay. I like it. I miss jam buddies. Even if I like us more right now."

Awkward wasn't the proper word to describe their silence. It was more of an uncomfortable acknowledgement of what they were talking about. They knew it was hard, and they knew they should probably take their time with it. Besides, they were untold miles away from everyone who knew them. Regardless of what happened, they could keep it to themselves. A single moment just for them.

"When we get back to Earth, we could…" He started, not quite sure of how to end the sentence. "I don't know, sing something together."

"We can do it here, too. Wouldn't have as many people singing along, but it might be nice."

"Anything coming to you?" He asked, suddenly aware of how long it had been since he just broke into song.

She looked at the floor, pondering. "Something about being lost together, again. But it feels stuck in my throat."

"Hmm." Steven looked around, and obviously, found no instruments. He decided to just tap his fingers on the floor. "Stuck."

_I want to fly high._

_I want to mystify you_

_With every wonderful thing that we don't understand._

_I want to go out_

_I want to sing about_

_All those wonderful things with my girl…_

He stopped himself, muttering " _ah, wait,_ " extremely embarrassed. Connie laughed when she realized what he'd almost said, and then continued the song herself.

_I do want to fly._

_I do want to see_

_Everything great the world might be._

_I want to go out_

_And I want to shout_

_To everyone about you and me…_

And then it was her time to stop. Her mouth opened and closed like she'd suddenly lost her train of thought. Steven touched her hand, but his heart wasn't into it, either. He could feel her discord. Steven tried to sing along:

_But I feel like we're stuck._

_Um, maybe it's just me, but…_

_I feel there's something disturbing_

_That we keep ignoring…_

_I feel like we're stuck._

_But I really can't see_

_What seems to be the problem with… me…_

Oh great, it was a depressing song. Those were always good, Steven thought derisively.

"No, that's not true," he said, sad. "I can definitely see what's wrong with me. I don't know why I sang that."

"Don't be like that." She said, her time to grab his hand. "There's nothing wrong with you, it's… maybe we're just not ready yet."

"But when will we be?" He asked, looking her in the eyes. "It's been so long, and I feel like we're so close to…"

"To…?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought things would be different."

More silence. Connie was the one who broke it.

_Looks like we're stuck._

_Lost together again._

_And we don't seem to know how to make amends._

_Looks like we are stuck._

_I keep trying to fly_

_But every attempt I make_

_Seems to go awry…_

"Do you really feel that way?" Asked Steven, softly. "Is it… are _we_ … bad for you?"

"I mean…

_don't you feel it too?_

_Don't you feel like we're stuck?_

_Like every wall around you turned to rock?_

_Don't you feel bad?_

_Isn't it unreal?_

_Like you fought to get here all this time,_

_But now that you're here_

_It's just not the way you feel…"_

"Hey, wait, you don't mean that, right?" He interrupted, moving to look at Connie better. This was the first time he heard anything about this.

She stopped singing, like she just realized what she said.

"N-no, I just… I don't know why I sang _that_ , either. I like you a lot." Her words stumbled; her eyes watered. "Maybe I'm just still startled. It's been such a long day. I'm really stressed."

"I'm happy with you." He said, trying to ground himself. "I thought you were happy with me, too."

"I am… and I guess we can't really say we're moving too fast, at this point. All that's left is talking about it more openly, but…"

"Do you think we are, though? Going too fast? Or too far?"

She didn't respond.

Steven sighed, tapping his fingers again.

_I guess we are stuck._

_Together but lost._

_Nothing I can do but sing a song._

_I feel like we're stuck._

_I know you feel it, too._

_But… all my thoughts still end up on you._

She looked at him. She didn't feel like singing anymore, and Steven knew it. Connie leaned over his body and hugged him. Steven put an arm over her, pulling her slightly closer, but she was too tense to fit properly.

"Our song wasn't very good." She said, eventually.

"Yeah. Um, sorry. I just woke up." He tried. She gave him a sad laugh.

Both stared at nothing in silence. Lion and Captain were respectively taking a nap and sleeping soundly. The ship's interior was dead silent, save the buzzing of the lights.

"We're not actually stuck, you know. The ship's fine. We can leave at any time." Connie mentioned, matter-of-factually.

"Right, I figured."

"You just gotta…"

"I just gotta go do it."

"Yeah."

Silence.

"I like this." He said, pulling her closer.

"Me too."

He'd just woken up, but he also felt like he hadn't slept well in days. Connie's body started out stiff and tense, but slowly began to relax as she followed his breathing. Steven realized that everything he wanted was right there. And yet, even though he was touching her, she was still so far away.

Their cuddling didn't feel wrong, but it didn't feel like it always did. Something was missing.

"Hey, when we get back to Earth, want to go have some fry bits?" He asked, a bit distant, but still as warm as he could feel.

"That sounds good."

"Okay. It's a date."

Saying it out loud still made his heart flutter, although it was weird to do so when feeling so miserable. Slowly, Lion got up, and Steven realized he didn't know if the creature still liked him, either. The overgrown cat's impassible face looked directly into his eyes as it moved forward, stopping half a meter before his head. Then it turned to the side, going behind him, and acting as support for their backs while they cuddled.

At least something was working.

* * *

The consensus was that, even though the planet's situation was deplorable, they had seen what they needed to. White Diamond had come here some small time ago and was attacked by the Hymbyxian people's Chisel weapons. Something about what it does reacted poorly to White's powers, and it caused a massively destructive reaction that nigh irreversibly damaged their planet.

The parts after that were less clear. When White came to, she left, and for some reason commissioned an illusion that the planet was fine. At the same time, she started the process of erasing the planet from their star maps, which was caught by Peridot. Once Steven became involved, so did the other Diamonds.

Parallel to this, White had begun experimenting with Gem editing, and at some vague point used Blue as a subject. Blue became happier, more likely to obey order, and generally more approachable and sociable. Yellow's involvement was still unclear, but she apparently was none the wiser. Connie mentioned that she was probably just happy that her sister was less gloomy.

White's actions before and after the attack didn't make sense, Steven pointed out. She'd never try to talk to the Hymbyxians if she genuinely believed peace had made Gems stagnant.

"Maybe that's what broke her? Being attacked on sight like that?" Connie proposed, also curious. "Even if it is a pretty big turn…"

"You took one of their crystal guns, right?" Steven asked. Connie nodded, and took the stump still connected to the large handle out of her backpack.

"I went back for it later, yeah. Those guys were gone, but the Chisel was still around. They must have been terrified. It doesn't work anymore, though."

Steven approached and touched the crystal ball. It was intact and didn't seem to have any power on its own. Whatever technology they used to harness its properties; it wasn't working at that point.

"You know…" Steven said, running his fingers over the crystal's cut. "In my vision, White looked kinda like Blue did when her Gem greyed out."

Connie nodded. "You think this is what the Chisel does? It changes Gems?"

"I don't know. It seems to do _something_ to them." He looked beyond Connie, towards the small structure Captain Pearl was laying over. "I guess she was here whenever White came over, wasn't she?"

"You said she was with White every day, right? For thousands of years." Connie approached Pearl, wondering if she should wake her up. "Do you think she got caught in the blast?"

"It… sounds about right." Steven said, his mind twisting and turning on itself. The headache never truly left, just changed shapes. "Sorry, I'm just so tired. But I guess we'll know if she's fine or not, depending on how she acts when she wakes up."

Connie looked at the monitors showing the outside world. They hadn't seen activity in a while, but the constant view of the crater made things look grim.

"We have Homeworld's support now. We can go home, reorganize, and figure out how to help these people. But… I don't think they want our help right now." She said.

Connie spent some time trying to put the fact that they probably had to abandon Inbix to its own luck in the nicest way possible. After Steven's demonstration, they probably just hated the sight of gemstones in general, regardless if they were sentient or not.

"It's not your fault, Steven."

"It feels like it." He blurted. Regretful, he backed down immediately. "Sorry. Just cranky. Let's go back to Earth and figure out where to go from there. Could you operate the display for me?"

She nodded. Steven disengaged from the conversation, walking back to the control pad. It would be sort of difficult to fly without Pearl, but Connie was smart, she could figure it out.

The ride back was mostly silent. Steven thought he'd use the time to think, but everything that came to him was the numbing sensation one experienced when looking at consistent movement. The stars looked beautiful from inside the ship. He could stare at them dancing for hours, finding new nebulas and new civilizations. New friends, he tried thinking. But at that point, he just wanted a new quiet place to go to.

Every planet he saw looked like a life he could lead, were he in the right place at the right time. He would never stop working for the sake of the universe, of course, but having a place where he could simply stop and smell the roses, without having to worry about anyone else.

Ah, there they were. The weird thoughts. Every time he wanted to think about… what would the word even be? Retiring? Sure. Every time he wanted to think about retiring, Steven usually thought about how good it would be to just hang out with the Gems and Connie forever. But ever since the fusion…

"Do you ever get lonely?" Asked Steven, taking Connie's focus for a second.

"Hm? Yeah, I guess."

"Does that ever feel good to you?"

Her brow furrowed as a sign of her confusion. "If I like being lonely? I mean… it's not bad all the time. But I like being with people sometimes."

"Right."

She waited for him to continue, but when he didn't, she decided to go back to what she was doing before. What Connie said sounded about right to Steven.

It was normal to feel like being by yourself sometimes. Nothing wrong with that. He got fed up and annoyed at people's company sometimes, it wasn't anything wild or forbidden.

It was just weird to want to be alone all the time.

* * *

The Legs Ship landed safely near Beach City, in a place relatively close to the Temple. Steven came out carrying Captain Pearl on his arms, while Connie came out mounting Lion. Both took a second to take the environment in; warm sand, salty air, a giant yellow Arm Ship parked at the beach… home, sweet home.

"Wait _, what_." Said Steven to himself, much louder than intended. "What's Yellow Diamond doing here?"

"Wait, you told her where you were keeping Blue, didn't you?" Said Connie.

Steven carefully placed Captain Pearl on Lion's back behind Connie and jumped up to float towards the Temple. He'd gotten much faster over the years, but he always wanted to have Sapphire's superspeed. It would make life much easier.

He knew exactly where Yellow would go, but he didn't know how she was going to get there. The Basement could only really be accessed through the Temple's door, which Yellow was far too large to fit in. He stormed into his own house and took to the Warp Pad, unsure of what he would find.

The teleportation went smoothly as always, but the scene he arrived at wasn't exactly appealing.

There was an enormous hole in one of the walls through which Yellow had apparently excavated her way into the Basement. He thought excavated, but all the molten rock and scorch marks around the hole told a different story. Blue's Gemstone was out of her bubble, but it remained the same dull grey it had before. And Yellow, herself, was on her knees by the large rock, sobbing.

She hadn't realized Steven arrived. He took a second to stop panting from the sprint and walked towards his estranged family.

"Yellow?" He asked. The overwhelming worry he felt for the Diamond completely overshadowed his new authoritarian instinct. He just wanted to know if she was okay.

Yellow Diamond turned around, looking like a complete mess. "Steven. White. I…" She turned her head towards Blue again, a sad grey rock as large as Steven himself. "I came here to look for her, thinking I could… do something about it."

He approached more, patting Yellow on her gigantic side. "I'm sorry."

"What did you do to her…?" Yellow asked, to Steven's abject horror. "White, what happened?"

"Yellow…" So _tired_ of this. "She can't hear you. It's just me in here." Although, he had to admit, even he wasn't entirely sure about that.

"First you fusions are _individuals_ , then you just _add_ to each other, and now _this_. It's always something new with you." She appeared to be trying to get mad on purpose, but it just made her cry more. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just—"

"I know. It's a bad time for everyone." Steven looked at Blue again. "I think I found what White used to edit Gems. At least a version of it. She got blasted with some weird energy and it changed her. Maybe it made her do all of this."

Yellow's sobs didn't stop immediately, but she gradually tried focusing more. "What are you saying? Will that help bring Blue back?"

"It's a start."

Yellow sighed heavily through her tears. "She was always so sure of you two."

Steven looked at her annoyed, but she didn't back down.

"You still have her Gem, Steven. White is in there somewhere. Listen to me. White and I never saw eye to eye in certain subjects, but Blue and… and Pink, when she was here, they were the glue keeping us together. One always listened, and the other always made sure we were okay. It was _impossible_ to be in a room together after Pink left. For thousands of years. So much anger and grieving, and the sensation that it was our fault…"

Yellow _never_ opened up, under any circumstance. So Steven just let her do it.

"… and now this. I am the only Diamond in Homeworld, my sisters are all gone, and I… I just…" There came the waterworks again.

Steven wished he was big enough to hug her.

"I can't do it." She said, whimpering. "I can't be the only one. Not like this. I can't lose _all_ of them like this. Steven, _please_."

"Wh… what can I do?" He asked, incredulous. "We're trying our best, but we don't know what's going on. It might take a while to…"

Yellow's cries grew louder. Steven's heart was breaking in half watching his… older… sister?… cry like that. His mind started to race thinking what he could do to make it better.

In the end, it was Connie's voice that came over him, like a golden memory piercing through the fog of his mind.

"Hey, Yellow?" He asked, awkwardly. "There… might be a way to help her. It's a long shot, but it might work."

She took her hands off her face, not caring that the tears were falling to the floor. "What is it?"

"I… uh, remember when we were in Homeworld for the second time, and we were all fighting White?" She didn't say _no_ , so he continued. "Well, I… after you poofed the Crystal Gems, I made them reform by fusing with them."

"Oh." She said, making connections with her head. "I… see."

They didn't say anything for a while. It sounded like a terrible thing to imply, especially considering who he was propositioning to. Yellow broke the silence.

"Do you think it will work?"

"I don't know what else to try, for now." He walked forward, touching Blue's Gemstone. "I mean… maybe it won't. But if we all try together, maybe we can pull Blue out of there. I don't know if it will work, but… that's what we have."

Yellow slowly sat down, crossing her legs and contemplating. She raised a hand to her Gemstone, as if reminiscing about something she'd lost a long time ago. Finally, she looked down at Steven.

"Can I say something, first?" Steven sat facing her, and she took a deep breath. "When we were younger, Pink was… _fascinated_ with fusion. She saw soldiers do it for training and couldn't stop asking me about it. I thought it was drivel, but then she asked if she could do it, too."

Steven assumed it was a _long_ time ago, since Pearl had never talked about it. Maybe it was back when Captain Pearl was still working with his mom?

"Gems of the same type fuse to become stronger, but Diamonds don't. It's… different to do it between us. Distasteful. White had said a few times fusion was an unfortunate blight in our society, and that we tolerated it because it was useful. When Pink… did what she did, we were torn asunder. Most of the things she liked became taboo."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know fusion means a lot to you, and your friends. And I have no idea why." She looked up, and then down again. "I have no idea what it _is_ , I mean to say. All I know is that it involves giving oneself away, and… and trusting each other."

"It's something like that."

She took a moment to continue. There was still hesitation to her voice, but she pushed through.

"I'll do it for her. But you'll have to guide me through it."

"Oh, okay!" Steven got up, smiling. "No problem. Um, it usually involves dancing."

"Ugh. Does it have to?"

"Maybe not, but it helps." He stopped, looking troubled. "Do you really want to go through with it? We can wait for more information. And I'm worried about White not being able to unfuse with me."

Yellow bit her lip, clearly disturbed by the idea. But she shook her head.

"Steven, I am willing to go through anything for a chance to save Blue. And this does sound like the best plan we have. We'll… figure out unfusing later." She stiffed her upper lip, which wouldn't stop trembling. "Besides, I'm sure it will be fine. We'll all be together if it works, anyway. Nothing in this galaxy will be able to stop us. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Right." The thought didn't exactly fill Steven with confidence, but it was a plan. "Well, if dancing doesn't feel right, just… try to loosen up. Think about what we mean to each other, and what our connection feels like. Like… the things that make you want to talk to me and be with me. And then just… reach out."

"And this is with _you_ , and not…"

"Not Pink, yeah. Or White." He didn't even hate it, that was a genuinely good question.

"I'll try." She took one last look at Blue's Gem. "Hang tight, Blue."

Steven closed his eyes, focusing on his Gem. Yellow followed suit. They had a lot to go through. A lot of memories to sort out and figure out how this would go, and where they had to meet in order to make it work. They were quiet for a few minutes doing that on their own.

"Is it… supposed to start soon?" Yellow asked, one eye open.

"The dancing usually makes this part easier—"

"Oh my stars, fine, I'll dance with you. Just… make yourself bigger, and I'll make myself smaller."

Steven smiled, stretching himself to a weirdly tall, if proportional, size. Yellow did the opposite, becoming somewhat smaller. Her Gemstone looked awkwardly bigger, which was a pretty strange image. Steven tried not to laugh or think about how weird _he_ looked.

Steven took her hands, placing one of his own on her waist. He thought he saw her blush.

"If we're gonna do this, just try to not make it about Blue, okay?" He said, to her utter confusion. He continued. "I know it's hard, but just try to make it about what _you_ want. About us."

"Us." She repeated, incredulous. "Right."

They started to slow dance. At this point, he assumed most Gems just had music pre-built into them, somewhere. She could accompany every move and every step that he took as if she was simply planning on them from the start. But they weren't together in this. Something was amiss.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, trying to get her to relax.

"I'm thinking I dislike dancing, mostly."

"Come on. You can't _dislike_ dancing. It's fun."

"I fail to see what is fun about it."

He spun her without warning, getting her to lose her focus. She yelled, startled, as Steven held her in one arm, like a tango dancer, being the only thing impeding her from falling.

"It's about being deliberate, Yellow. You have to relax." He said, smiling innocently. She took it as an insult at first, but then tried to see the truth behind his words.

"Relax. Right." She stood on her feet again, letting go of Steven. Before joining together again, she tapped her foot on the floor, raising her arms in an arc above her head.

Yellow Diamond, with her eyes closed, twirled and danced like a ballerina away from Steven, doing perfect circles with perfect form. He watched her for a while, mesmerized, until realizing joining in would probably work better.

Steven spun on his own, much less gracefully, but twice as genuine. He felt the movements of his body raise his heartbeat, making him more aware of his surroundings. He wished Blue was there to see this.

When they stopped spinning, they were in front of each other, right by Blue's side, holding poses of respect. Yellow smiled, apparently satisfied with what she saw.

"We really are family, aren't we, Yellow?" Said Steven, surprised by the words coming out of him.

"Yes. Despite it all, we're family… Steven."

Steven held her hands again, and this time she was much more in tune with his spinning her. She turned many times, and then held him with both her arms. Yellow raised him in a beautiful motion, and Steven laughed, feeling himself light.

Their Gems shined impossibly bright. An amorphous form started to emerge from their union. While still forming, its hand touched the Blue Gemstone.

The light started to envelop the grey rock like a liquid. Freckles and sparks jumped around its surface, physically pulling it towards the most powerful fusion in the universe. Blue's Gemstone started to vibrate, and then crackle, with chips of grey rock coming off it like a second skin.

The four Diamonds spun around in a massive light show, with the four colors combining into one. The four colors gave way to seven, and those made way to pure reflecting light, casting spots of light onto every surface of the Basement. It was good that there was no one around to see it. The light was blinding. The Gemstones themselves disappeared into the brightness.

And with that, he emerged.


	7. CHAPTER 6 - Diamond in the Rough

The Crystal Gems were in the beach house, anxiously waiting for news. Connie had contacted them about the situation, and while Pearl nursed Captain back to health, Amethyst and Garnet were fighting over what to do.

"I say we go in and worry about it later. Steven wants to handle the Diamonds by himself, but it's too dangerous." Garnet said, fully over the boy's leadership. She was one of his moms and she was going to interfere, damn it.

"Just wait a little more, I'm sure he's fine. We'd have felt it if the Temple was coming down in a fight." Replied Amethyst, trusting, if getting a little antsy herself. "We'll go in a minute."

"I want to agree with Amethyst, but it's been a long time since Steven went down there. I was waiting for you guys to show up…" Connie said, by Pearl's side. The white Gem shot her an apologetic glance.

"Yes, we're sorry about that, Connie. It's just been so busy with the Pearls arriving, and this situation with White, we…"

The warp sprung back online. The Gems stopped talking and turned towards it. All of them audibly gasped.

A man at the peak of his adulthood stepped out. His hair was dark brown and curly, a full mane styled down to his hips. Instead of the Rose Quartz tubular ringlets, they gave way to rainbow tips, slightly faded from the ebony majority into four obvious colors.

He was wearing a translucid cape over his shoulders, much like White Diamond's. He wore it closed, and it surrounded his entire body. It was adorned with twinkling stars, yet it allowed anyone to see what was underneath. His suit was white, with military-looking gloves and boots. On his abdomen, a single, large, clear diamond with its tip down stood in the middle of a yellow star. The cape was being held closed by a Diamond Authority broach.

His expression illustrated the difference between stern and neutral. He looked at everything in front of him with a pure, objective gaze that betrayed no feelings, because there were no feelings to betray. His face was clean shaven and unmoving. His eyes were grey, and his pupils in the shape of diamonds.

No one said anything.

Garnet moved forward. She stared at the combined might of Homeworld's Diamonds wearing the face of her son. She didn't know what to feel. Her future vision told her of a million possible ways this could go.

The man slowly put his hand in a pocket, which Garnet followed intensively. He took out a single ruby, shiny and red, and handed it to her.

"I did it, Garnet." He said, smiling like only Steven could. The voice was too deep and too calm, but his expression, for that one second, was exactly what it needed to be. "I saved Ruby."

Garnet looked incredulous at the perfectly healthy Gem on her hands. It was as perfect as her own. She threw herself on Steven's arms, extremely relieved.

"Oh, Steven, it's you." She said under her breath, hugging the man like she hadn't seen him in years. He returned the hug but remained motionless otherwise.

When Garnet separated, he looked at the rest of his friends. They all approached, looking relieved. His smile was still, but clearly warm.

"Hello." He said, formal but friendly. "It's good to see you. Blue Diamond has been healed, as well."

"How does it feel, Steven?" Amethyst asked, excited. "Steven Universe, king of Homeworld!"

"Diamond."

"wha?" She blurted out, confused.

"I still feel like Steven, please call me that, but I'm… also Diamond." His smile mechanically faded into a neutral expression.

"All right." She clearly expected him to be as excited as she was. The mechanical switch from smiling to neutral also freaked her out. "Right, uh… sure, man."

"Steven, are you sure you're alright? You're awfully stoic." Pearl approached the man, unable to stop staring at his Gemstone. It was in the same place as Steven's, if a little closer to the center of his body. "And I've never seen a diamond Gem like this."

"I believe this is its original form." He said, touching the Gemstone himself. "White Diamond seemed to imply that we were once all together. I don't think she knew what that meant. Perhaps at some point, there was only one Diamond, which eventually grew tired of that arrangement. Or, perhaps, this is just a new kind of fusion, only available to Diamonds. I don't think it matters."

"Oh, it's so weird hearing you talk like that." Connie was baffled at the situation. Diamond was almost twice her height at that point. "Do you feel like yourself?"

Diamond thought about that.

"I'm Steven. I know and remember everything Steven should. But I'm also Diamond. The distinction between those two is semantic at this point, I think." He looked at Garnet, smiling. "You could say I'm less my elements, and more an experience."

She smiled back, even if she couldn't pin down on what was making her uncomfortable. Really, she should be ecstatic.

"Uh, Steven?" Amethyst got closer to his Gemstone, squinting her eyes. "I only see one Gem, dude."

"Yes, where are the other Diamonds?" Pearl contained the urge to circle around him. This was odd. All Diamonds had front-facing Gems, yet…

"There is only one Diamond." Diamond said, monotone.

The Gems didn't respond right away. All of them were getting to their own conclusions about what that might entail. It was Connie who put it into words first.

"Does that mean you're stuck like that?"

Diamond slowly turned to the girl of his dreams, staring blankly at her for just a second too long to make her uncomfortable. Then he smiled.

"I mean, you're not stuck like Connie, are you? I'm just myself."

"But you're Steven." Connie's eyes slowly but surely grew more worried, and then slightly horrified. "Are you never gonna be like you used to again…? Was a week ago the last time I saw you like you usually are? We didn't even… we didn't even say goodbye."

Diamond's smile transitioned into a concerned expression. He stepped forward and kneeled in front of Connie, matching her eye level. He didn't pretend to not notice that she leaned back slightly.

"Connie, nothing's changed." He offered his hand, and she took it. Her hand looked small and fragile when holding his. He was warm like Steven, but the lack of any hesitation or jitter in his grip was almost like holding hands with a doll. "It's still me, just a bit older. Do you believe in me?"

The exact wording seemed to target something deep within her. Of course she did.

"I believe in you, Steven." She grabbed his hand with both of hers, with a genuine smile on her face. It matched his perfectly. "I guess I just have to get used to it. And uh… might have to talk to my parents."

He broadened his smile as a reply, arching his eyebrows like he was about to cry, but holding on to the tears. Pearl became emotional, Garnet smiled relieved, and Amethyst stood there, arms crossed but keeping to herself.

Diamond didn't really need to breathe much, but he sighed in relief. Thank the stars, they still loved him. He had been afraid there, for a second.

Steven was not aware of how, or why, he became conscious. All he knew is that he could barely think, and that he found himself in the Void.

Everything felt wrong. He almost didn't expect to find a body when he looked down. Sometimes, he was right about that, but the absence of a form didn't bother him nearly as much as it should. It was like his existence wasn't to be taken for granted. Anything was good enough.

The Void was grey. No direction, no sensation. It was just Steven and the Light.

The Light shined brightly in its four colors. It illuminated him, and sometimes, it would shine enough to fuel his mind. Sometimes, he could see.

He could see a blue sky. A restaurant. A door.

Greg.

"Uh," Greg started, walking into Fish Stew Pizza. He knew what was going on, but it was still a shock to see the hulking man by their usual spot.

Diamond was almost Garnet's size. Greg had to look up to talk to him. Maybe it was a good thing that they were sitting down.

"Hey there… kidd-o? That sounds weird now."

"Hello, father." He said, with a stranger's voice. "You're looking good."

"I mean, I try, but… look at you!" Greg sat down, motioning at Diamond with his arms. "One minute you're meeting with your aunts in Homeworld, the other you're… what, 30?"

"I guess something like half a million." He said, nonchalantly. "I don't really keep track, and a lot of things overlap in my head. Five timelines trying to figure things out."

"O-oh."

Diamond's cape was open, and Greg could see the single diamond that had replaced Rose's. He had to admit, he missed the pink in his overall design.

"So that's your Gem now, huh. Boy, I guess… I guess she really is gone, this time."

"Oh, mother?" Diamond instinctively rubbed his Gemstone, absentmindedly. "I wouldn't say she's gone. I can still feel something like her. But I don't think the pink is the default color anymore. But, hold on, I want to try—"

He closed his eyes and looked as if he was making some effort. Greg watched the Gemstone shine like it would if Diamond were to summon a weapon. Instead, the neutral brightness gave way to a light pink aura, and Diamond's entire outfit reacted to it. The white suit, gloves and boots turned into different shades of pink, and so did the Gemstone itself. It was like Steven grew up and decided to take the job.

"There. Do you like this better?" Diamond asked, a small smile on his mouth.

"It's nostalgic, for sure." It was more comfortable. Made more sense. But something about how Diamond just did it gave Greg slight pause. "I just wonder what your mom would say about this. She always wanted to see you grow up, and I thought… well, I thought I'd be way older when it happened. And here you are! Taller than me!"

"Do you like it?" Diamond asked, aware that he was attracting the Pizza Sisters' gazes from the counter. He waved at them, and at least Jenny said hi back, giggling to herself while at it. Kiki pulled her sister closer to her, smiling, but looking cautious. "People seem to have mixed reactions."

"I…" Greg let himself slouch a bit, arguing with his hands when he went back to talking. "Look, you know my thing. I've never been good at Gem stuff, and I don't know if what I feel about it really matters at the end of the day."

"It matters to me."

"It's just— it's always so unexpected with you, you know? Last time we saw each other we were going out for fries and soda, but now you're old enough to apply for a mortgage. Heck, you're old enough to marry someone and not think you're missing out!"

Diamond didn't respond, but he squinted somewhat playfully at that last part.

"You gotta admit it's a lot for your old man to take in."

Their pizza arrived, which Greg didn't even know Diamond ordered. It was Greg's favorite flavor: Canadian bacon with ham bits sprinkled in.

Odd. Steven usually liked pepperoni, maybe anchovies. "Oh, uh, thanks."

"My treat, father."

"You have money now?"

"Turns out Pearl has been into coin collecting for thousands of years, waiting for the day I needed some. She thought I would be able to use the old coins, so she was somewhat confused when I sold them. It worked out in the end." He told the story with the smallest smile again, like he was entrenched in overwhelming serenity. "Do you like it? It's your favorite, right?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I like it. Do you?"

"Not particularly."

"Then why didn't you do half-and-half?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Oh, okay…"

Greg tentatively grabbed a slice of pizza to eat. He got it up to his mouth, but couldn't do it over Diamond staring at him, unblinking and always smiling.

"Aaaah, Steven, come on. There's something you're not telling me." He gave up on eating, dropping the pizza on his plate. "You're acting like…" Greg stopped, gritting his teeth in discomfort.

"Like what?" He said, still smiling.

"Like Pearl used to act!"

Diamond's eyes didn't move as his smile returned to a neutral position. His gaze moved from Greg's face to the pizza, and he slowly extended his hand to grab a slice. Slowly moved it to his mouth. Opened his mouth. Took a bite.

The whole monotonous process freaked Greg out like nothing about a Gem space war had managed to before. His son methodically chewed on the food, swallowed, and only then went back to smiling.

"It's great, father. You should try some."

Greg felt shivers going down his spine.

"Alright, listen Steven, I… maybe I should leave." Greg started moving to get off his chair, looking uncomfortable.

"What? Why?" Diamond's confused face looked almost the same, regardless of age. It broke Greg's heart.

"Shtooball, you're… you don't really sound like you're here. But it doesn't seem like you're gonna talk to me about it, either." Greg scratched the back of his head, feeling unfit for this. Like he usually felt. "I-it's okay, I get it, your old dad is pretty bad with this stuff. But if you feel like I can help, you know where to find me. Uh, I know you said you'd pay, but put the pizza on my tab, it's pretty much infinite."

"Wait. Dad." Diamond's expression seemed to have… broken, a bit. His eyes were blinking faster than usual, but the rest of it was completely stoic. "Don't go. Please."

Greg was about to go into another pity excuse, but something about the other man's expression disturbed him.

"Are you okay?" Greg asked, approaching. Diamond was shaking. "Was it me? Hey, I'm sorry, I just thought—"

"Dad. Help." Somehow the monotone made the plea sound more desperate. "Take me out of here. Please." Now his eyes were blinking out of synch. Greg's stomach went cold.

"S-sure, kid, come here. Can you stand, or…? D-do we need help?" He took Diamond's hand and put it over his shoulder, helping him get up. Greg looked at the Pizza sisters to imply he needed a hand, but Diamond grabbed his arm.

"No. Just us. Just. Outside." Every word came out with no stress, no inflection, just panic. He took in quick breaths for all of them but remained completely silent otherwise. His entire body was trembling, but he still got up with Greg's help. "Out. Side. Van? Your van. Please."

Greg didn't answer, focusing on making sure his son didn't fall. It took them a while to get to the van, but when they did, Greg helped him into the back, and had the tall Gem lay on the floor. He kinda fit, even if with his legs out.

"Steven?" Greg asked, fear in his voice. His son was having the closest thing he'd ever seen him have to a seizure. Occasionally, his Gemstone would shine bright, and then stop. The shining would usually synch up with his seizures.

"Okay, I'm gonna… I'm gonna call Pearl, she should know how to help, okay? Just stay calm, you're going to be alright."

"I. I. Dad. No. I. Please." He was technically yelling, but nothing about it sounded like a yell except the noise level. Greg got startled at first, but then decided to go in and close the van's door, pushing Steven to the seats.

"Son, I'm gonna be honest with you, your dad has seen a lot of things in his day, but this is the scariest thing I've ever been through." Greg tried not to make his voice break, but it was hard. It did that when he was scared. "Just… please let me call for help."

Steven's eyes shut in what looked like pain, and his diamond shined brighter than ever. At first it was a shade of grey, but slowly it turned to pink again. When he opened his eyes, he looked genuinely surprised. The man took a gasp of air like he'd been drowning.

"Dad!" He said, sitting up and hugging Greg. Steven was shaking violently. "Please don't! I'm here! It's me! It's Steven!"

"Wh-what?" Greg returned the hug, but he was even more confused. "Then who was I talking to all this time?"

"Me! But not… argh, it's confusing!" Steven separated, looking at his hands and hugging his own body in a frenzied panic. "We can't go back to being apart anymore, we're gonna stay like this forever… oh my god I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have fused, I'm so scared, I'm so…"

"Son! Calm down!" Greg held both his shoulders and shook him, forcing Steven to look at him. "Relax. It's okay. We're alone here. Whatever you're going through, I can at least listen to it."

Steven kept eye contact for about three seconds before bursting into tears. He hugged Greg again, barely forming coherent words.

"I feel so different. It's all so clear and… and obvious. It's like I barely need to feel and think at all, but I'm still feeling everything. I-I don't know what to do, I think the Gems hate me now, I don't trust myself, and-and-and I don't even like that pizza!"

He held onto Greg even stronger, and the musician just pat him on the back and let him calm down.

"Geez kid, you really did it this time, huh. It looks like it's as scary for you as it is for us." Greg looked at his son's crying face, and although it was awful, it was good to see it was still the same. "But how come you've been so quiet all the time? You sound more like usual now. With all the crying and emoting and stuff."

"I-I don't know. I think… I mean… I don't feel the other Diamonds with me all the time. Whenever I'm not paying attention, it's like I'm watching stuff happening. It doesn't sound like it's me going through anything. Nothing I do really... connects."

Steven managed to stop crying, but he still looked extremely distraught.

"But when I saw how you looked at me, and how I made you feel like you didn't know me anymore, I… I couldn't handle it. I snapped."

"I'm really sorry, Steven, I didn't—"

"No! It was a good thing!" Steven grabbed his dad's arm, as if to anchor himself. "I don't think it's gonna last a long time, and I don't know when I'm gonna get another chance. Dad, I love you so much. I love you more than anything. I'm so sorry I get involved with all this stuff all the time, I'm so sorry I'm not a normal kid. I-I'm so sorry for everything."

His voice kept breaking. He was hyperventilating.

"Steven—"

"Please listen! I might… I might not have another shot at telling you how much you mean to me, and I'm terrified of it. And I don't know how to tell you! I-I don't know if I should just say it, if I should sing about it, or if I gotta write something or-or-or…"

Steven's tears came back, and his head was starting to hurt. He felt the world growing dimmer and dimmer, whiter and calmer all over him, and he hated it.

"Or if I'm just gonna have to scream it because otherwise, I'm gonna go back and not feel anything about anyone! I don't know what to do! I don't know what to say to you! I don't know how to tell the Gems I love them! I love Pearl so much! Garnet! Amethyst! I don't… I, I, I…"

He felt like he was having a panic attack, but it was fine. Anything that attached him to emotions and feelings instead of the certainty of before.

Greg carefully held his son's hand, smiling simply.

"I know, Steven. It's okay. You never have to tell me that stuff. I'm always gonna be here for you, no matter what."

His words had a good effect. Steven stopped freaking out. He just let desperate tears flow down his cheeks.

"I don't get a lot of what's going on, but it sounds to me like you're gonna be like this for a while. Maybe forever. And even if you can't say it out loud, I know how much we all mean to you. Because you mean a lot to us, too. And we all love you. I love you, okay? No matter how you look, and no matter what you say. You don't need to worry about that."

Steven steadied his breathing, trying his hardest to stay in the moment.

"Can you… make sure everyone knows that? I don't know if I'll… if I'll tell them, when I'm the other way."

"Sure, kid. I'll help you however I can."

"A-and, uh, Connie." Final moments rushing through. Had to make it count. "Please tell Connie I… I… don't know what, but it's… it matters a lot to me… she matters a lot to me."

Greg didn't say anything, afraid of breaking Steven's concentration. The fusion looked as distressed as he did when confronting his greatest enemies. He could feel his son's tremors increasing and decreasing, like he was actively fighting against them.

"J-just tell t-them I'm sorry." One last tear down his cheek.

He closed his eyes, with another splitting headache. After a few seconds, the trembling dissipated, and his face was peaceful again. He opened his eyes and his expression told Greg that a lot of his son had left the building.

"I'm sorry about that. It must have been scary." He was probably trying to make his voice sound sympathetic, but it wasn't working. "I don't know what happened, but it won't happen again."

"Yeah." Greg felt his heart sinking as he heard Diamond's slightly too hollow words. Just emotionless enough that it bothered him. "Scary is a word for it."

"Do you mind if we leave the van?" He asked, letting go of Greg's hand and starting to move towards the door. "It's a little tight."

They stood outside the vehicle, staring at the town's people going about their daily lives. Greg looked at Diamond on his peripheral vision, not sure of what to say.

"Hey, buddy? Do you have anything you want me to tell Connie?"

Diamond turned around, apparently more confused than… not.

"I don't think so." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "I don't remember what I was going to say, either. It was something that felt important at the time, but now it's nothing."

"Nothing, huh." Greg repeated, looking down. "I think I can guess a thing or two."

"Well, it was great seeing you, father. We should catch up again sometime." Greg instinctively opened his arms for a hug, and he was extremely shocked when Diamond extended his hand for a shake.

"Oh. Oh, um… sure, great talk." Greg very awkwardly shook his own son's hand, and then watched as the Diamond flew away towards the Temple.

Greg sighed. He picked up his phone and started to dial Pearl. But then he looked at Diamond again, still in the sky.

He turned it off and pocketed the device. He barely knew what he had seen, and to just tell it to Pearl over the phone… it felt bad. They would meet soon, anyway. He would have some more time to go over it in his head.

"Oh, boy. This is not going to end well."

Amy and the P-Squad, as they called their adventure group/band/really just Amethyst called them that, weren't all that bad at this whole exploring the great wilds thing. Of course, the "great wilds" in question were the forests accessible through the Warps, which Amethyst knew like the back of her hand. She was mostly doing it to get the Pearls to do anything, since at least Zappy was still pretty upset at being away from Yellow Diamond for too long.

Steven coming back with the news that Yellow Diamond no longer existed didn't help.

"We've been walking for hours." The yellow ballerina grumbled, grabbing wooden sticks stuck in her costume. "What do you want to show us, Amethyst?"

"I find it to be quite exhilarating." Pearly said, melodically.

Surprisingly, Pearly adapted very well to life on Earth, and relished the time Amethyst had spent with her. She was the one holding the machete they used to cut vines and low-hanging branches. The picture of the usually stoic thin Gem with a giant knife made Amethyst laugh, and that's why she had path-clearing duty.

Amethyst, herself, was right between Pearly and Zappy, hands behind her head in a relaxed position. "You're doing great, Pearly! Hack and slash those feels away girl."

"Understood!" Pearly happily hacked away, sometimes twirling to get her cuts extra momentum. It was a hilarious sight for the purple Gem, and just another boring sight for the yellow one. "Are we getting close?" Pearly asked, with a smile.

"Yeeeah, sure, I think so."

"You think so?" Zappy snapped. "You said an hour ago we were almost there! What do you even want to show us?!"

"Just relax, Zappy. Take in the scenario, alright? Ya never know when you might find something… spooky." Amethyst smirked menacingly, to Zappy's further annoyance.

She was going to retort back with some insightful and colorful language, but the yellow Gem suddenly felt something grabbing her ankle, creeping up her leg in smooth motions. She looked down to find a purple snake reaching for her skirt, with human-like eyes and giant fangs.

Zappy screamed in irrational fear, throwing herself at Pearly and hugging her body to get off the ground. She was picked up quite elegantly by the blue one, who immediately saw Amethyst's arm crawling on the ground, turned into a snake.

Pearly managed to chuckle a bit, but Zappy almost took her weapon out.

"I'm going back!" She yelled, jumping off Pearly's embrace. "I'm going back, and I don't want to talk to you anymore!"

"Hey, come on, we're almost there. I mean it." Amethyst raised her hands in dramatic surrender, trying to do damage control. "You've just been so down since Steven came back, I thought we should go out."

"Ughh." She huffed and puffed, crossing her arms. Her pale skin got brighter and redder than Amethyst had ever seen. But she didn't move from her spot. "I don't need your help. I don't need your pity, I don't—"

"Yellow." Pearly touched her friend's shoulder, her voice back to her usual mellow tone. "I know it's been difficult, but we're here for you. You don't have to do this by yourself."

"Do what." Zappy rolled her eyes. "Travel in weird forests and, and, sing and dance with these… primitives?"

"Yo, don't ditch the primitives until you try their food, dude." Said Amethyst in the back, taking out a massive sandwich seemingly from her pocket. "Oh yeeeah, that's the good stuff."

"It's disgusting! I would have never come to this miserable planet if it weren't for…"

She didn't continue, suddenly having to face that reality again. Yellow Diamond was gone. She could do nothing about that.

"It doesn't matter anymore." She didn't bother raising her head. Both Amethyst and Pearly knew that if they left her there, the yellow Gem wouldn't budge for anything.

"Hey. Seriously." Amethyst put her hand on Zappy's back, trying to sound more sympathetic. "I do have something I think will make you feel a bit better. You too, Pearly. I've just been playing around, but we're pretty close. I promise. If you don't like it, you don't have to come along on these anymore. Deal?"

Amethyst extended her open hand to Zappy, who seemed to stare right through it. After a few moments in silence, she eventually shook it.

"Fine. But… I still don't like being here." She griped, turning away from Amethyst.

"Hey Pearly, can I have that machete for a second?" Amethyst asked, grabbing the weapon from the Gem's hand. Quickly, she transformed herself into a giant bus, large enough to house both the Pearls and hold a machete in its front bumper. The machete started to spin, like a dangerous toy Amethyst was sure Garnet wouldn't approve of. "Alright, all aboard the Amy Express!"

"Wait, wait—" Zappy tried arguing, but when Amethyst booked it forward, she had no choice but to hang on tight to her blue friend. Pearly, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the idea, and grabbed onto a hanger Amethyst formed near her.

The ride was bumpy and uncomfortable. Both the fragile Gems yelled all the way through, although Pearly would sometimes devolve into hearty laughter. At least twice, Zappy was sure they'd roll over and poof, and get eaten by one of Earth's giant cat monsters. But ten terrifying minutes later, they had arrived at what Zappy hoped was their location.

Amethyst transformed back into her plump, tiny self, dropping both Pearls safely on the ground. Yellow was hugging Pearly from her back like she would never let it go. Pearly just chuckled, oddly satisfied.

"Alright, here we are!" Amethyst raised both her fists in success, bringing attention to the cave right in front of them.

"A… you brought us here for a whole in the mountain?!" Zappy screeched, still hanging on to Pearly, who, although perplexed, wasn't complaining.

"Not just any hole in the mountain!" Amethyst replied, unspoiled. She joined her hands in a little tube around her mouth and yelled: "Hey-yoooooo! Dikembeeee!"

Only then did the Pearls hear the sound of machines from a distance, and then it stopped. After a few moments, a tall, extremely dark man in a dust-covered uniform came over, smiling brightly.

"Hey, it's Amy!" His English had an extremely thick accent. "Didn't think you'd actually come back, girl!" The man ostensibly named Dikembe hugged Amethyst like an old friend.

"Oh, you know me, it was a heat of the moment kinda thing. Hey, meet my friends, Pearly and Zappy."

"I'm not— uggh." Zappy started but decided to drop it. She was already too stressed out. Pearly simply waved politely.

"Oh, cool. They, like, together?" Dikembe nodded at her wave, with an interested expression.

Only then did Yellow Pearl realize she was still hugging her co-worker. She let go of her immediately, which was still very cute, so Pearly kept giggling. Amethyst cut him off.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Hey, was the stuff about your mine true? I wanted to show them around."

"Oh, right, yeah, no problem Amy." He took out a small flashlight from his front pocket, handing it to her. "Keep it, I have a thousand of those. We usually have guides for this sort of stuff, but considering your powers you should be fine, right? Just don't steal everything, we still gotta make some money."

"Work it, baby." Replied Amethyst, slapping the man's butt. He laughed and waved goodbye. "Hey, we might take a couple small ones!"

"You take it outta the wall, it's yours!" He left, good humored.

Zappy's expression was one of utter confusion, but she was also intrigued. "What is going on? What is this place?"

"Oh, I don't wanna spoil the surprise. Let's go!" Amethyst rushed inside the cavern, leaving the Pearls to run after her. Flustered, but at this point committed, Zappy followed alongside Pearly.

The cavern had scaffolding and signs of digging all over. It seemed to be a relatively new construction, since there was a lot of material scattered on the floor. Yellow almost tripped while running, but at least they managed to keep up with Amethyst. The warrior seemed to know where she was going, which was a blessing when they started to come across a maze-like tunnel system.

"Are you enjoying this?" Zappy eventually shot at Pearly, who had the smallest smile every time Yellow bothered to look at her.

"I mean… it's fun." She replied, blushing. "It's fun being together. I never explored anything before."

"I just want to go home." Yellow said to herself, until something flashed in her mind. "Did you say together?"

"Heeey girls! We're heeeere!" Interrupted Amethyst, who stopped running after reaching a pocket in the tunnels.

They arrived there seconds later, and as much as Zappy hated to admit it, it was definitely a surprise.

Pearly covered her mouth with both hands. Zappy just stared, in shock, at the amazing sights before her.

"They're all…"

"Yup." Amethyst said, posing all proud of herself. "Yellow and blue diamonds, Africa's number one beauties."

The entire cave was filled to the brim with shiny diamonds, in the colors of their own gems. Yellow knew they were just raw materials fused together, that they would never achieve consciousness under these conditions, but they were so beautiful. Like a night sky full of stars that she already loved, individually. Uncut, rare jewels that reminded her so much of home, of what she had lost—

Yellow Pearl felt weak in the knees. She couldn't stay up. She just went down and cried silently, sitting on her own legs.

Pearly was by a wall when it happened, staring at a particularly big blue diamond. She ran towards her friend, kneeling to hold her closer.

"Yellow, are you okay?" Her voice was dripping with concern, even though she was overwhelmed herself.

"Oh, sh…" Amethyst muttered, getting closer. "Sorry, uh, was it… is it not okay? I thought you'd like seeing all this."

Yellow didn't answer. She just cried, cried, cried. She didn't even know why, exactly. It wasn't just sadness, or the feeling that this was wrong, it was more like she hadn't allowed herself to do this before. Like she was being strong for no reason, and the new situation called out the feelings that were already in her heart.

"She's gone." She whimpered, finally returning Pearly's hug. "She's gone forever."

"Yes." Pearly whispered, caressing her hair. "I'm so sorry, Yellow."

"But your Diamond, too, I… I don't get it. Why are you saying that to me?" Yellow separated to look at Blue's expression, always so hard to read. Pearly moved the hair away from her face, revealing two rarely seen blue eyes, which Yellow thought were as deep as they were beautiful. She was crying too.

"Because we're in this together. I'm here for you, like you're here for me."

They stared at each other for what looked like hours. Yellow's eyes were always genuinely electrifying to look at; like a storm that never ended. Blue's were a mellow wave, gently caressing beaches, promising to take anyone away into a vast ocean. Yellow realized she wouldn't mind drowning in it.

"Hey guys?" Amethyst interrupted, with her hands behind her back. "Sorry if this is too much, I just thought—."

"It's… it's good." Zappy finally said, a closed fist on top of her heart. "Really good. T-thank you."

Amethyst's smile came back, full force. "You're welcome, but hey, you heard my buddy outside. We get to keep what we can take."

She showed her hands. Amethyst was holding two beautiful natural diamonds, with pure yellow and blue colors. They had lots of imperfections on them, but that only made Zappy think they were even prettier.

She took the yellow one, while Blue took the blue one. Both stared at theirs like they would shatter if left unattended. Blue wiped a tear streaming down her face.

"You have no idea what this means to me, Amethyst. Thank you."

Yellow kept looking at hers. So crude, and so exposed. Nothing like Her Diamond. But…

"I'll carry it with me all the time." She finally said, compartmentalizing it inside her Gem. "I, um… thanks. For bringing me along."

"Ah, come on Zappy, this was all for you two." Amethyst laughed, sitting down with them. "But man, this is really awesome, huh. These things have been here since before me, and I was born during the war. It's…" The words died on her lips, and she decided to just smile for a while. After a few moments, she laid down on the floor, looking at the sparkling cave roof. "It's stuff like this that makes Earth so great."

The Pearls didn't lay down with her, but they leaned on each other to look at the diamonds. They twinkled like the galaxy they knew so well.

Zappy never exactly felt safe. She always felt content, happy to serve, and sometimes even lucky. Not every Pearl was born to help the highest authority in their culture. But Yellow Diamond was… volatile. Uneasy. She accepted nothing but perfection.

There was always the constant feeling that, one day, she would just bore of her old Era 1 Pearl. Maybe she'd just shatter her and get a fancier new model.

Amethyst and Pearly had seen her break down multiple times, and it seemed to only make them like her more. For the first time, she felt safe. She even started to like her name.

The yellow diamond inside her Gemstone somehow made her feel heavier, but in a good way. Like there was something to ground her in this reality. To convince her that this was it, this was her chance to be herself, not subservient to anyone. Brand new Pearl, who said what she wanted, when she wanted. Brand new Zappy.

"Hey, Blue?" She whispered, but her friend didn't hear it. She said it louder: "Um, hey, Pearly?"

"Yes?"

"I really like your art." She paused, letting the words hang. Pearly didn't say anything, either. "Have I ever told you that?"

"N… no." Zappy didn't have to look at her friend to see her blushing.

"I do. You're really good."

She felt Pearly hold her hand.

"Thank you. I, uh… like your singing voice."

It was Zappy's turn to blush.

"N-nice of you to say."

They didn't talk anymore. Both just looked up at the beautiful cave and smiled, enjoying each other's company. Amethyst watched more Pearls in her life finding their place in the world.

"Must be a Pearl thing." She concluded, not bothering calling attention to herself. This was good.

"Steven, you really didn't have to come. We could do this some other time." Lapis said, flying over the ocean.

"Nonsense." Diamond replied, by her side. "We had made arrangements weeks ago."

There was nothing but blue skies and waters around them. Lapis did this sometimes. She felt the breeze on her face, the salt on her tongue, the occasional bird flying alongside. Quietude and peace that she didn't think really existed.

She had wanted Steven to join in on that for a while now.

"Yeah, but that was before your whole… thing." She said, fluttering her water wings and diving.

Diamond followed along. Lapis couldn't believe how well he could follow her. Steven never flew like this; it was always mindless floating. This was as if he'd reached a level of control she didn't even think he could.

"Do you not like the result?" He asked, smiling.

"I mean, it's good, I guess." She smiled back. "I'm still faster, of course."

"Hmm. Is that so?" He looked over the horizon, and Lapis wondered what the man was thinking.

He accelerated, and Lapis' gaze struggled to follow along. She laughed, and dove again, rising like an eagle to go faster.

Diamond spun in the air, making it look easy. Flying wasn't that uncommon among Gems, especially in Blue Diamond's court. But this level of control and grace, this much confidence… Lapis had never seen anything like it.

Lapis noticed a small patch of grey in the vast blue, and decided to fly closer to it, curious. It was clearly Gem architecture, but it was not moving, and seemed like it had been derelict for a long time.

The part above water was nothing but a white cube, with some legs and tendrils on the lower side going down to, she assumed, the bottom of the ocean. There was enough space for a team of Gems to work on top of the thing, whatever it was.

She landed, unable to find any interfaces. There was probably something inside the structure. If she put a hole in it—

"Oh, a Seastone station." Diamond said, landing by her side. The hulking figure looked around with what seemed to be wistfulness. "This unit must have been abandoned for a long time."

Lapis blinked. "I never heard of them."

"These are not deployed anymore. They're from before the Empire started to terraform planets. Seastones used to search and mine for resources in the bottom of the ocean."

"So, are there people inside?" She asked, touching the stone. It was smooth and solid. "Gems that kept this thing running?"

"They're controlled remotely. Seastones aren't Gems like you and me. Those were different times, Homeworld didn't deploy sentient Gems unless absolutely necessary."

Lapis went to the edge of the station, looking towards the point where the sun would eventually meet the ocean in a couple hours. She sat down, taking it all in. The light blues were already starting to turn into beautiful oranges.

"You said Gems like you and I." She mentioned, turning slightly towards him.

It surprised her when he sat by her side. Their legs dangling from the edge would be terrifying if not for their abilities. But even then, something about this situation made her feel safe, despite the overwhelming loneliness of the area they were in.

"I did." Said Diamond, looking at her. "Is that a surprise?"

"A little. But it's not bad." She said, not pushing against his defenses. "I'm just wondering how you are. How you really are, I mean… it's been a busy few weeks for you."

Diamond turned towards the point they were watching before. She watched his grey eyes studying the horizon methodically, and his Gemstone shining in every color with the lights.

She'd never seen a Gemstone quite like that. All the ones she was familiar with were colored, opaque, or somehow imperfect. But his was just a perfect, featureless diamond, almost as if it had been worked on by a thousand masons. It was rude to do so, but Lapis could stare at all the details and intricacies of his Gemstone for hours. Like there was always more to discover.

"I am well." He said, after what felt like a long time. "I have had some difficulty adapting, so I appreciate the chance to come on this activity."

"Adapting to what?" She asked, breaking eye contact with the enormous precious stone on the man's abdomen. "It's your life as usual, right?"

"Yes." He replied. The tiniest scowl formed on his forehead. "But it's not the same, now. I don't exactly know how to explain it. Things are the same, but they are also new. Especially inside me."

Diamond slowly grabbed his chin, which Lapis assumed was how he got lost in thought. The sun shaped his features like a statue's. It was definitely Steven's face, she found herself thinking. Just… more. In ways she didn't expect she would ever see.

"Do you like it?" She asked, receiving a puzzled look from him. "The way things are new."

He smiled softly.

"I think I do. Things have been clearer than usual. I see so much more." Diamond looked directly into Lapis' eyes. The piercing gaze every other Diamond had disarmed her, but not in the usual, horrific way. "Even in the places I always took for granted."

In truth, Lapis didn't know where to hide. She just knew every instinct in her body told her that heart flutters were not a good thing. But it was Steven.

"Um… thanks?" She said, unable to hide her smile. "It's… nice to have you here. Like this. I don't know. Do you like being like this?"

"Oh, I definitely do." Diamond's smile opened much more, and she wondered if he even noticed.

"It just feels like you're more confident. Stronger." She suppressed the giggle, but a sarcastic laugh still came out. "You're all grown up now, huh kid?"

"I certainly feel all grown up." He shot back, not looking at her. "One might wonder if you planned all of this."

"I do like what I see."

Her wry smile immediately vanished. Why would she ever think that was appropriate? What was she thinking? This was her best friend; she was acting like…

"I agree."

Oh, good. He didn't mind. Interesting. Weird, but interesting.

"I bet sundown looks great from here." She said, changing the subject. He didn't immediately respond. "Steven?"

"Yes, yes. I'm sure it does."

The man sounded a bit more distant than he had this whole time. She was about to ask, but he got there first.

"I just wanted you to know, I really appreciate coming here with you. It feels good to stop and take things in. And I greatly enjoy your company."

Lapis smiled, blushing a bit.

"Of course, Steven. I'm always available for you. You know that."

Like the look he had given her before, this one also disarmed Lapis. But there was something within it that made her feel weird. Something about how he just kept staring at her, or how he looked directly into her eyes. Like he was scanning her. Like a promise.

"That makes me happy." He said, slightly monotone.

Eye contact was broken. Lapis ignored it. It was a weird change for everyone, and maybe she just wasn't used to a Steven Universe that reciprocated her with more than naivete and innocence. This new Steven was good. She liked him quite a bit.

The sundown looked beautiful today.

Stab, stab, dodge, parry.

Connie's posture was perfect. Pearl had to admit, for a flesh-and-bone human being, she was the best student she'd ever had. She had trained dozens of Crystal Gems during war times, but none of them adapted, improvised and exploited weaknesses with the same degree of intensity as Connie did.

Parry. Parry. Thrust. Twirl and back to neutral.

The girl's mind was obviously somewhere else, but she didn't allow it to get to her. Maybe she'd taken Pearl's advice and let the beauty of fighting take her mind off things. Allow the automatic nature of fighting to fill your conscious mind. Use the rest to work through logical problems; trap them in their own little bubbles. Every puzzle had a solution, and sometimes all one needed to solve it…

Stab. Stab. Thrust. Twirl, bluff, sneak attack.

… was to step away.

Connie laid defeated, Pearl's sword pointing at her neck. This made the score 43 x 42 that month, with Pearl on the lead.

"Thanks, Pearl."

"I think I'll start thanking you for these sessions, Connie." She said, helping her pupil up. "You've become such an amazing opponent. I haven't fought like this since I had rivals in the war."

"Is that a good thing?" The human asked, probably wondering if being compared to war criminals was an insult.

"Oh, you know, the knowledge that I won't die is nice. But it did get a bit boring around here for the last five thousand years."

They walked towards the stone benches in the arena, and Pearl watched the young lady drinking from her water bottle. The idea of consuming most things still made her want to hurl, but oh well, no one was perfect.

"So, what's on your mind?" Pearl asked, comfortable about her boundaries.

"It's Steven."

"I figured as much." Steven and Connie had always been a cute, innocent couple in Pearl's eyes.

She'd grown somewhat accustomed to Rose's emotional adventures with humans, and the list of phones in her Gem reminded her she was no slouch herself. But their… thing… was so like her own love for Rose, and later Rose's love for Greg, that she always felt lost in trying to chime in. Like it was too personal.

"Is there anything specific happening?"

"I mean, it's a lot. I don't really know what to say." Connie looked at her water bottle as if it could somehow respond back to her. "I don't know how to feel, but I don't want to talk about it, either."

Pearl looked at the girl and smiled softly.

"It's been a busy few weeks, hasn't it?"

Connie nodded.

"But um, how are you?" The girl asked, prompting a puzzling look from her master. "It can't be easy for any of you. You've known Steven since forever."

"Oh, that's what you mean." Pearl said, clearly feigning ignorance. She didn't look at Connie while she spoke. "It's fine, it's just… silly Gem stuff."

Connie burrowed her frown. "Pearl, come on."

"I don't want to talk about it either, I suppose."

The human backed off, wondering if Pearl had done this on purpose. She was about to say something when Pearl sighed, looking much more tired.

"I just keep thinking about Rose." Once again, she looked beyond the girl, beyond even these ruins. Pearl was lost in her own past. "Every time I move on, this happens again. It never stops being about what the people I love want to do, regardless of who gets left behind."

Connie didn't say anything. She just grabbed Pearl's hand on the floor. Pearl continued.

"I spent thousands of years thinking she didn't love me, you know."

The bitterness in her voice was staggering, but there was something else there. Like an old wound that had closed long ago breathing again.

"Behind all the jealousy and grief, and all that posturing… I just had this awful feeling that everything we had was just a phase of some kind for her. Something she did until she got bored. When Spinel attacked us, it felt like I could finally move on. It was confirmed. Rose never loved me. She was just having her fun. What we went through was simply what she liked to do."

Connie wanted to interrupt and say anything, from how harsh that was to how Pearl could never know that. But she'd never heard Pearl say things like these before. This was new, and Connie didn't know if she even had permission to say anything.

"But I always thought Steven was different." Some tears showed up on her eyes, but Pearl wiped them immediately. Her face continued clean. "I always thought whatever good was in Rose transferred to him perfectly, without the bad parts… I always thought he would at least tell me when it was time to go."

Her voice was so heavy, even if it remained its musicality. Connie kept holding her hand, but Pearl didn't grip hers back.

"Of course, it's not the same. Steven isn't gone forever, he's still with us, but… it's all so familiar. The people I love keep moving on from this world, and I must be okay with it. Smile and carry on." Pearl finally looked at Connie, again with a weak smile on her lips. "I'm tired. I'd rather they didn't do that, for once."

Like coming out of a trance, Pearl realized that Connie was about to cry, herself. She immediately let go of the girl's hand and hugged her, ready to be supportive to her young apprentice.

"Oh, Connie, I'm sorry. These aren't your problems to bear. I shouldn't—"

"I'm not leaving, okay?" Connie said, between quiet sobs.

Pearl didn't reply. Her grip on the girl's back faltered, but she didn't allow herself to cry. She knew Connie couldn't promise any of that. At the end of the day, she was just human.

"Connie, you don't have to say that."

"I know." The girl said, still sobbing on her shirt. "But you're really special to me, and I don't say it often enough. Just… please, let me hug you."

She'd grown up so fast.

"Okay, Connie." Pearl said softly, hugging the girl with a gentle touch. "We can be like this all you want."

On top of the Temple, Diamond spent a lot of time looking at the stars.

He knew exactly why. He wasn't looking at the great vastness of space, nor was he in awe at the beauty of creation. He was staring directly at one star. The Homeworld system. So close, yet so far away.

It took every ounce of Diamond's being not to fly there.

Yellow Diamond's recent memories were the freshest in his mind. Homeworld was falling apart. Gems weren't stupid, they saw what was happening. The end of the Diamond Authority, and the beginning of something new. The previous last ruler of Homeworld realized that as soon as she left, the planet would be up for grabs. Even if just for a second.

But she had to see Blue. She couldn't take another second without seeing her with her own eyes.

Diamond rubbed his abdomen Gemstone slightly. Well, he was the result of that choice. And Homeworld must be nothing but chaos because of it.

His heart didn't ache over it, but his mind had been racing for days. There was nothing he could do from Earth to restore balance to Gemkind. If he tried doing anything, it would have to be final. A decision that would affect the rest of his life.

Albeit the stars fascinated Diamond, he never paid much attention to Beach City, right on the side. He stared at the city nightlights, the buzz of electricity and activity being barely audible under the sound of waves.

At the end of it all, it wasn't really a choice. He was Diamond, after all. He had a job to do.


	8. CHAPTER 7 - End of An Era

For whatever reason, Steven couldn't quite connect with the images he was seeing. He had a vague idea of the plot. Diamond was going into Homeworld to do business. He was aware of that as much as he was aware of his own unconscious thought. But he had no idea where those thoughts had come from, or why he thought it was a good idea to come here.

Thinking of Diamond as "himself" was weird. Thinking of himself as an element in a larger system was weird enough, but the fact that he didn't really have direct control over his actions made it more awkward. This was obviously unlike any fusion he'd ever been a part of.

He — his consciousness? His soul? — turned around, and Steven saw lights. Blue, yellow, pink and white lights everywhere, shining brightly, sometimes over each other. His mind was foggy and unfocused, but that was clearly meant to be the others… so, where were they?

White was apparently more prevalent, whatever that meant. He had noticed that, occasionally, one of the colors would spike up in intensity for longer periods, and Diamond's behavior would change. Otherwise, they were basically ever-changing.

Sometimes Diamond would be more Blue, and then it would stop moving for a time, as if contemplating. Other times, Yellow would flare up, and Diamond would stretch its powers, look for resources, and do other things Steven didn't really comprehend from his perspective.

And sometimes, Pink would be the prevalent color. And Steven would feel like himself again. The screen would somehow occupy more of his vision, and he would hear the words like they were coming from his mouth. He would feel people's touch on his body. Smell the air, taste food. The first time Pink was the _only_ color seemed to have been when he'd talked to Greg.

He could barely remember the encounter, anymore. It was like his memories cut and fast-forwarded all the time. It was the same with all his memories since the fusion.

It was like they were someone else's memories and Steven could only remember them from second-hand accounts. Steven was so much taller in them, yet so much lighter. Yet some of them were even older. Everything was brighter, shinier, more hopeful… Pearl was there, and so was Garnet, and so were the other Diamonds…

Steven didn't have it in him to know what it meant, but he knew those memories did belong to him. And he was growing increasingly worried that he wouldn't be able to truly make new ones, if this arrangement continued.

The Void was peaceful. Nothing truly upset him there. When he came back from talking to Greg, he did feel like crying or dying or something like that, but his presence in the Void eventually pacified him. Maybe that's why White was so prevalent…? She knew how to control her emotions, so maybe it was like a defense mechanism. Maybe the other Diamonds wanted to protect him from what was outside.

He focused on the screen again. Diamond was talking to Lapis. Oh, Lapis. She meant a lot to him, and Steven knew he meant a lot _more_ to her than he could ever measure up to. He felt slightly too detached to those feelings to really do anything about them, but they were… still nice.

Her face was beautiful on whatever sort of screen he was watching from. She was smiling in that awkward way she did, like she didn't want to look _too_ happy around him. He knew that façade broke very easily, though. It was easy to break down through her defenses and get where he needed to get, if he really wanted to. He would never abuse her trust, though. So much of his vision was White…

Something he said caught her off-guard. Her expression moved from embarrassed to confused, and then settled on conflicted. She looked like she always did when her anxiety was starting to flare up. What was he saying…? Something about Homeworld? Why were they talking…?

"I don't know, Steven." He focused until he could hear her. She sounded so far away.

The White in him mixed with the Blue, and he felt an unwelcome surge in sorrow. This should make it easier to ask her—

"Lapis, I can't do it without you. You're the only one that understands." Steven couldn't see himself, but he knew he looked genuinely distraught. Lapis could resist his sadness, but that _and_ a direct request? Diamond had this in the bag. "Please come with me. It's the only way to make sure."

"I…"

His world turned Pink, and he felt a surge of love for his friend. His vision became less blurry, more real. He wasn't _himself,_ but the words that came out of his mouth became genuine. The gentle touch on Lapis' face, the way he moved her hair from her eyes. These were things he always knew he could have done, but he'd never do it. She would get the wrong idea, and one misstep would mean…

"Lapis." His voice was tinged with compassion and affection. Her blue complexion immediately blushed. "Please. It will be just the two of us."

He could feel himself thinking of the words _I love you._ If he said those, Lapis would do literally whatever he wanted. She would never let go of him. She'd go over her best and only friends in the universe if she thought she could finally be with him. Steven was barely aware of life, but he held onto whatever will he still had. That was not going to happen. He might be unable to stop everything, but he wouldn't hurt Lapis like that.

It wasn't necessary, anyway. Diamond would save it for later. She smiled and nodded, agreeing to accompany him.

This was all wrong. Even with his limited insight, he knew there was something horribly wrong. And he still had no idea what it was all for. Who was making these decisions? Where were Diamond's plans coming from? And how could Steven access them…?

He stopped looking at the screen after Lapis and Diamond held hands, moving on to the Galaxy Warp. The Light had his attention.

It was alternating between Yellow and White, resulting in a sickly light show that he had no love for. He had no idea how any of this worked. He couldn't hear them, or talk to them, but they were all… there. Their feelings, their aura, their experiences. At least specters of them.

He could remember broken scenes of Yellow destroying her tower a thousand times over due to losing Pink. He remembered shatterings Blue had performed, and how demented her feelings were during some of those. Steven could even remember when Pink decided that the only way to leave this system was to fake her own death. Staring her Pearl in the face, smiling, despite the servant's tears. So selfish, yet so emotional.

He missed his own emotions. They were nice. Even the bad ones.

The Void had no time for emotions. Emotions, thoughts, desires, it all faded away, neatly folded and categorized into useful tools for later. Steven was only certain of a few facts that kept coming back to his perception.

One, he was not in control.

Two, he could not unfuse.

Three, and this was the scariest part, Diamond had some sort of access to _him_. He knew all that Steven knew, even if Diamond himself didn't care about it. Just as much as it was useful.

Steven somehow approached the source of light. Somehow, he touched it.

* * *

Diamond felt himself trembling, as if having shivers. He stopped walking forward and stared into nothingness. Something was wrong. His entire body was stiff.

Lapis almost tripped when he stopped, still holding her hand. She looked at him confused, and then slightly scared when she realized he wouldn't let go.

"Steven? What's wrong?" She asked, to no response. "Steven? Steven! Talk to me!"

Nothing. He just kept staring, unblinking, forward. His diamond pupils slowly followed an invisible target to the ground, and then moved to Lapis on his diagonal.

"Um?"

Lapis summoned some water from a nearby canteen and splashed his face with it. The shock seemed to wake him up.

* * *

The Light threw Steven's consciousness away, and it hurt. The silent Void turned loud and scary, like it had been perturbed by an invader.

Steven didn't know what to do. The Light's rejection felt awful, like someone had stopped his brain from working. Whatever the Light was equaled power, and he couldn't handle it right now. It sent a shockwave through his consciousness.

The Light's focus on him hurt and abused whatever he was, at least at first. Eventually, they backed off, one by one, as if aware that what they were doing was wrong. Steven knew, somehow, that the system was trying to thrive, and fighting each other achieved the opposite of that.

"What are you?" He asked, with no voice. The lights vibrated and shimmered as a response. Somehow, he only understood feelings. Love, anxiety, stability, sorrow. "What am I?"

He could make out no discernible response. Only the buzzing of a great machine working, its cogs and gears too big and too complex for Steven to understand.

Steven was growing stronger, but not by much. Meeting his dad had taken a lot out of him. He would have to learn how to exist, all over again, if the Void were to make any sense.

A small part of him knew that the situation was hopeless. It was up to the rest to make himself learn how to be heard.

* * *

"I'm fine." Diamond said to Lapis, blinking twice. It was a weird sensation, but nothing he really cared about. They were almost at the warp. "Take as much water as you want, also."

Lapis nodded, nonchalantly raising water from pots, plants and a small river as they went towards their destination.

"And what's the plan? Would they just… let us do it? Let _you_ do it?"

"It's a possibility. If not, we fight our way up."

They arrived at the Galaxy Warp after a couple of minutes of traveling through the network. Lapis had absorbed a small pond's worth of water into her Gem, which slightly suffocated her with stress. Diamond didn't seem to mind.

When they arrived, Homeworld was loud.

The absence of all four of Gemkind's godheads had quickly disrupted their government system. Diamond could hear screaming and panic from multiple parts of the plaza. Laser shots and disruptor sounds blasted their ears as Gems ran amok, civilians fighting Quartzes with whatever weapons they had. Lapis was horrified to see the place breaking down in such a small period.

Diamond was not surprised. It was the most likely possibility.

"Where do we even start?" She asked, realizing horrified that she could barely hear her own voice through the cacophony of war.

"Right here is fine." Diamond said, monotone.

His eyes glowed white as he started to float, his starry cape open and elongated. Lapis watched as he spread his arms and let the glow of his Gemstone act as a beacon for attention.

The Gemstone started to release formless energy, which accumulated behind his body. Giant images of the four Diamonds began to form.

Lapis couldn't believe what she was looking at. White, Blue, Yellow and Pink, together again with impassible expressions and giant stature; far grander than they had ever been. The fighting and rioting stopped. Homeworld Gems watched in stunned silence as the Diamond made his presence known.

"You have waited long enough." Diamond said, in many voices. "You have known me by many names. You have known me as many Gems. Separated, we were feeble, and brought war to the galaxy. Together, we are strong. We are the answer. Today, I come to you, not as a quarter of a diamond, but as the leader you need.

The Diamonds behind him imitated his pose, reminiscent of White's. The cold sensation in Lapis' chest was at odds with how fast her heart was beating.

"I am Steven Universe. I am Diamond."

Lapis looked around, watching Gems both old and new gasping, covering their mouths, crying and bending their knees to whatever it was that they were seeing. So many more were simply watching in awe, waiting to see where this would go.

"The fighting must stop. The chaos must cease. The Third Era of the Gem Empire is about freedom, and this day shall be marked by a total ceasefire. Let there be peace among Gems. _All will be well_."

The glow died out, the images of the old ones faded, and Diamond smiled, slowly descending. He stopped before reaching the ground, floating just above Lapis and all the other Gems.

"Believe in me."

Cheering. Excitement. Genuine relief. Lapis allowed herself to calm down at the sight of hundreds of Gems ready to accept Steven as everything she knew he could be. Everyone seemed to be just relieved that their leaders were there.

"She was right."

A mumble caught Lapis' attention. She turned and saw an Amethyst soldier with a symbol she'd never seen before on her uniform. It was like a flaming sun with a thin diamond symbol in the middle of it. It didn't really _look_ like a diamond, though. Lapis was sure she had seen it before.

"She was right. He came to us with lies." The Amethyst's Gemstone was located on her right hand. It glowed, and summoned a purple mace, a little bigger than Lapis' head. "It's all lies. He's not our Diamond."

The Amethyst grit her teeth and raised her weapon to the sky.

"Don't believe his lies!" The Amethyst's voice was loud and obnoxious, but a few of her peers and Rubies scattered around heard her. Lapis noticed their uniforms sported the same design. It wasn't Yellow Diamond's symbol; what _was_ it? "Don't believe a single word! He's not our Diamond!"

Rubies, Amethysts, Agates and a bunch of other Quartzes slowly started to get into battle mode. Weapons and armor came out of their Gems, and formations were starting to form. Lapis didn't understand. Why were they so coordinated, why—

And then she finally understood. One specific squadron seemed to already be in place.

Four Jaspers, each with a different limb armored.

Diamond didn't look concerned, but his expression was slowly dipping into annoyance. His diamond-shaped pupils shined subtly, sparks of electricity coming out of his fingers.

"The ceasefire does not require the consent of those who hate peace." He decreed, looking at Lapis. She didn't need a word.

Lapis released all the water she'd brought like a shockwave, spreading small puddles around her location and knocking back both attackers and innocent bystanders. She would apologize later. The rioting Amethyst approached her, weapon in hand. Lapis knew they weren't very smart, but running into a puddle when fighting a Lapis Lazuli… surely, she had to know.

With a small movement of her hand, Lapis transformed the still water into spikes that poofed the warrior instantly. It was crude and violent, but something possessed her. The Amethyst's Gemstone fell to the ground as several others behind her stopped advancing, suddenly realizing the dangerous trap they'd put themselves in. Lapis tried not to smile too hard.

She'd had a lot of time to think about who exactly she blamed for her tenure in the mirror. The Crystal Gems had their faults, she didn't pretend that wasn't the case.

Homeworld, though.

Homeworld didn't care about her, either. T _hat_ had been a blow. They had 5000 years to go looking for her – even her Lazuli sisters, whom she always expected would come to her rescue, — and yet nothing.

Apparently, the only thing they had ever sent were probes looking for Rose Quartz, and that had been obviously useless.

So, in short, it was everyone's fault. It was the Crystal Gems Army's fault for rebelling, Rose's friends' fault for trapping her, Homeworld's fault for demoting her and then forgetting about her. Her misery had been caused by almost everyone she'd ever met. She was always the one being taken, sacrificed, used or abused for someone else's big adventure, or somebody else's power trip, or great design.

Except for Steven.

The only one to ever just laugh with her. Tell her jokes. Go on trips for no good reason other than to enjoy her company.

Peridot was in love with the Earth as much as she had been with Homeworld. Bismuth was in love with herself, and her friends. But Steven…

"He said _stand! Down!_ " She yelled, blades of water cutting through light forms like butter. Gems fell to the ground as her enemies went on the defensive.

… Steven was just in love with _her._ She could tell. No one would be that nice otherwise. And stars, it was so scary to think about it, but maybe she was in love with him too.

Lapis took a second to look up at Diamond, and he hadn't moved. His stern eyes lacked any malice, and his unblinking gaze seemed to address all the attacking Gems at once.

"Please, can't you see?" He said. She expected it to sound more supplicant, but his deeper, booming voice made it sound like an order. "Your problems are over. I am here to help. _We_ are here to help." He motioned at Lapis, and she knew she was doing a good job.

This was exactly why they were a great team. He knew he could trust her to do anything. The other Gems would have doubts, they had always underestimated him, but _now_ … his presence was overwhelming.

A rain of arrows answered his question. They had all come from thin, black and grey Gems that Lapis didn't quite care to remember what they were. She managed to defend from a lot of them, but there were simply too many. Lapis screamed his name, but soon realized it wasn't necessary.

Each arrow was being held by a small bubble, only as large as necessary. There were dozens, maybe hundreds of bubbles all around Diamond, each holding a projectile only a few centimeters away from the target. His expression was as neutral as usual, but he still looked unhappy.

"Very well," he said. "You will be forgiven when all is taken care of."

The bubbles rotated mid-air and pointed the arrows at their shooters. They burst in intervals, creating a consistent yet carefully planned array of attacks, shooting each Quartz soldier he could see. The shooters must have had multiple-shot bows, because there were enough arrows for many of the attackers.

Lapis watched, petrified, at the massacre Diamond unleashed. She saw the Jaspers attempting to run for cover, and at least a couple of them tried to fuse in a desperate attempt to be stronger. The arrows pierced them before they had a chance to form. Lapis had never seen so many people poof all at once.

Yet his expression never changed. Mournful, somber, and unhappy. But keeping it together.

"Lapis." He said, still not coming down. "These soldiers know who's behind this rebellion. Grab one."

Lapis nodded, scouring the battlefield full of healing Gems. She grabbed one of the Jasper Gemstones on the ground. Diamond took flight, and she followed along.

The plaza sparkled with the Gemstones of poofed warriors, who would wake up to a new Homeworld. She just hoped the message would get across when they did.

* * *

Jasper 22L8-3HJ woke up confused. She remembered fighting conformists in the plaza alongside her sisters of battle, and then the Imposter showed up. He looked down on them like he was so much better. His Lapis Lazuli destroyed so many good warriors, but what did her in…? She was sure she poofed…

"Looks like you're finally awake."

The Lapis. She was somewhere. Why couldn't 3HJ see anything? She couldn't move, either. Her body felt so cold, and so stiff.

"Take her blinders off." The Imposter's voice bellowed, quietly.

3HJ felt a liquid dripping from her head. Suddenly, the world was bright and violent to her eyes, but she couldn't shield them. When she finally got used to the light, she screamed.

They had suspended her over a large abyss. She could see Homeworld's old history below her: all the places where the first Gems had been harvested from, now a dead zone completely void of resources. All she had on her was an arm-length gauntlet. If she fell, it was all over.

Her body was upside down, entirely submerged in water. The Lapis had her hand up, clearly controlling her bondage. Her master was by her side, floating with his hands behind his back, looking at 3HJ like she was an object he had uses for.

"You are a Jasper." He said, matter-of-factly. "I suppose it makes sense. Our Jasper left Earth years ago. She couldn't handle peace."

"Master told us all about you, Imposter." 3HJ screeched, rocking herself in still water that refused to let go. "I am Jasper, facet 22L8, cut 3HJ, and I will do _nothing_ for you."

"Hmm." Said Diamond, pointing his open hand. "Then I guess we're done here."

Electricity shot from his palm and directly hit the water, causing Jasper to poof almost immediately. Lapis almost dropped the water that now only held the Jasper's Gemstone.

"Steven!" She said, scared. "That was…"

"It is okay. Watch." Diamond floated to match her eye level and touched her shoulder. He was much more comfortable with just invading people's personal space, but she couldn't quite say she minded. She minded it _now_ , that he'd just mercilessly executed…

And then she realized her water was glowing pink. She saw Steven's Gemstone glow accordingly, and in a second, the Jasper was back. Horrified, but back.

"I'm sorry, 3HJ." He said, approaching. "I realize now that I never asked you a question. So, please: I'm trying to unify Homeworld. There is clearly a leader to this rebellion of yours. I can guess who it is, but I want to know _where_ she is."

"I…" 3HJ was still catching her breath. Her eyes were bugged out, and as far as she could tell, one of her legs had come out shorter than the other. "I am Jasper, facet 22L8, c-cut 3HJ."

"I know that." Diamond approached more, floating towards the water prison. 3HJ could almost see her own fear reflected in his diamond-pupiled eyes. "Where is your master, 3HJ? Where is _my_ Jasper?"

3HJ didn't answer. She couldn't, really. She was far too scared.

The lightning bolt came again. Screaming, and then nothingness.

"Steven, stop!" Lapis couldn't handle watching that. Her heart couldn't take it. "You're…"

"I am doing no permanent damage to her." He answered, giving her the side-eye. "Her Gem is intact. I'm simply skipping over the healing process for her light form. As soon as she tells me what I want to know, I'll release her, and she can go."

"But she's so _scared_."

Diamond floated up to her, and she realized how terrifying he really looked. But then his eyebrows twisted, his face scowled, and his eyes watered.

"I can't let another war start right now, Lapis." He said, breaking up. "I can't let everything we've suffered for go to waste just because Homeworld is so _backwards_. I can finally make a real difference, give people the hope they need, and the only thing in my way is yet _another_ one of my mom's enemies."

He grabbed her free hand with both of his, bringing them closer to his face.

"Please. You understand. That is why I brought you along. You understand it must stop. And it can stop _today._ "

She couldn't blink when staring into his eyes. The diamond pupils were frightening, but behind them, she could see it. The boy she loved so much, who just wanted to help everyone, who was just trying his best.

Lapis stuttered a non-answer, but eventually looked at him with renewed faith.

"Okay. I trust you. But… please, be merciful to her."

Diamond let go of her hand, but she didn't mind. He nodded, turning around and reforming 3HJ. She came back into the world, kicking and screaming, the memories of pain still fresh in her memory.

"I don't want to keep doing this, 3HJ. You have to believe me." He said, much more emotional than before. "I just want you to see it. I want everyone to see it. This change is good, I _swear_ , it was working well until White lost control. I won't lose control. I beg of you to trust me."

She didn't say anything. The warrior trembled and closed her eyes, trying to avoid Diamond's gaze. The emotion started to leave his expression, back to a much more ruthless version of whatever he was feeling.

"I can't do this without your help, 3HJ."

"Maybe she doesn't know anything." Lapis whispered, but it wasn't clear if Diamond heard it.

"I'm not going to poof you again." He said, raising his hand. "But White Diamond could do much worse with Gems that disobeyed her. You know this."

3HJ stopped trembling, in shock at the idea.

"I'm going to give you one last chance, 3HJ. You're a good soldier. You know what's at stake here. There is no evil in this war. Only a misunderstanding." His hand, still crackling with lightning, suddenly started to glow in monochromatic light. 3HJ couldn't take her eyes away from it. "I don't want to do this to you."

"… I… I… a-am… Jasper, facet twenty…" She started sobbing through her words. Couldn't even finish a sentence. "P-please, no."

He slowly reached for her head. She could feel everything she was starting to fade away. Lapis couldn't look. She knew it was necessary, but she couldn't look.

"STOP!"

All three looked at the source of the scream. Another Jasper, this one's Gemstone opposite of 3HJ. _Oh, no_ , Lapis thought.

"No! Stay away!" 3HJ rocked and moved around, trying her hardest to escape her water confines. Her weapon came out, but there was little the gauntlet could do from her position. "Get away from here!"

"Stop hurting her!"

This Jasper seemed much less… _tough_ than her counterpart. Lapis saw her summoning her weapon, and it was armor in the opposite arm of 3HJ. They were a duo.

"I'll tell you everything!"

Diamond immediately jump-cut to the new adversary, stopping his fast approach centimeters away from her face. She almost screamed.

"Tell me where she is." He said, electric energy crackling all over his body.

"She's at the Four Thrones! She's taken over the government! Surrounded by our toughest warriors." Diamond might have not noticed that he was slowly inching closer to the coward Jasper. Or maybe he did. "S-She told us you'd come eventually. And that you would try to talk us out of it."

"Talk, huh." He replied, leaned back and took flight once more. "Lapis. Let's go."

Lapis brought 3HJ in, bursting the water bubble when they got close. She expected resistance, or any sort of attempt at revenge. Instead, the soaked Gem quickly stood up and ran after her double, hugging her like it was the end of the world.

Lapis couldn't watch it. She took flight after Diamond, who was almost halfway there. She knew he was aware that she could easily catch up, but… it would have been nice if he waited, at least.

It's not like she didn't understand. It was probably hard to talk. She could barely look at him, much less bring it up.

"I'm sorry."

Oh?

"I'm sorry, Lapis." He said, not looking at her. "I need to stop this war. I promise the Jaspers will be fine."

He didn't sound like he was waiting for a reply. It took Lapis a while to think of one.

"She looked really bad."

"I know." More silence. She finally looked at his face. No tears, no wrinkles. Just a tired look. "I… I'll make it better."

"I know you will." Lapis made a fist, crushing her own fingers as if to give herself courage. "But please, make it quicker."

Diamond accelerated. Lapis followed along.

* * *

The throne room was richly decorated and uncomfortably quiet. A whole platoon of Jaspers waited dutifully right in front of their Master's chair. She sat on the lowest throne. The pink one.

The corruption still marred her body. Random teal spots reminded her of one of the most humiliating losses she'd ever gone through, and two small horns made her different from her peers forever. She could reform with long sleeves, with multiple layers above her skin. But the horns… everyone knew. And everyone had to know.

None of them dared mention it, though. They weren't even looking at her.

She was waiting. The deployed corps had contacted her as soon as they regenerated. He was coming. And he had brought _her_.

It couldn't be more perfect.

The roof gave out. A pink spiked ball crashed into the throne room, startling every Jasper except the Master. The sound of dozens of weapons materializing was only interrupted by the sound of the bubble popping, shooting several of its spikes outwards. Some Jaspers poofed instantly. One of the spikes went straight towards the Master's head, but she simply summoned her helmet.

"This, I like." She said, mocking. "I wish you'd used more tactics like this in the last war, runt."

Diamond came down from the hole, slowly descending until he was a meter above the ground. Lapis graciously floated around him, anguish and determination in her eyes.

"Lapis." Jasper whispered, leaning on her throne. "It's really you."

Lapis didn't say anything. She just raised her hand and a torrent of water came pouring from the outside. Water in Homeworld was a very rare sight. Diamond's foresight to store it for later use had paid off.

"You look stronger." The Master said, not looking at Diamond.

"Lapis, distract the others." Diamond said, finally landing. "Jasper. I will grant you the option to surrender. I genuinely dislike fighting you."

"That's not what you said when I was fighting for you, Pink."

He advanced. "I thought I wasn't Your Diamond."

Jasper got up, helmet still on. The visor still allowed anyone to see the hatred in her eyes.

"You discarded me. You toyed with me, went on to live your own little pathetic life. Fight your own little war. I _scoured_ the Earth for you." Her fists trembled with how hard she was crushing them. "I yelled at every superior I had whenever they told me Rose Quartz killed Pink Diamond."

She stopped and snickered derisively.

"I guess I showed them. Too bad they've all been shattered by your friends."

His eyes were fueled with Pink's determination, and his voice boomed with White's commanding tone.

"I know you hate her, and I know you hate me. At this point in my life, I don't have many good feelings towards Pink Diamond left, myself. But this rebellion will lead to nothing." Diamond got closer and closer to Jasper. Soon, they met only a couple meters apart. "Please. Peace doesn't mean we don't need protection. There is a place for you in this Era, in this world. Our Home."

Diamond extended his hand. Jasper, to her credit, didn't immediately attack him. But she did look straight past his hand, and into his Gemstone.

"Is the little pipsqueak even in there?" Jasper barked, taking Steven by surprised. "What was his name… Steven, was it? Is there any of him left?"

"What?" He could have that conversation in a controlled space, among his loved ones. _This_ , he wasn't ready for.

"I know a Diamond when I see one; and sure, let's say you're it." She walked forward. Diamond backed off. "Let's say you mean every word you say, and that you actually care about this cracking piece of space trash we call Homeworld. How much of that is your megalomaniacal need to be in control of all Gems, and how much of that is Steven's usual nonsense?"

He managed to catch himself and stopped walking backwards. Jasper came close enough to him that she could smell his breath.

"Are you just some dumb rock using a kid's body to control people more easily? Do you just figure this is more efficient? Are you just holding back before your big finale?"

Jasper looked straight in his eyes. She was probably the first person to notice the faint circles around his pupils. All four colors that eventually gave way to a greyish white.

"Are you that much of a coward, _Diamond_?"

For the first time in a long time, Diamond felt a tinge of fear.

Jasper smiled, enjoying her small victory. She had a couple of options, some more satisfying than others. After a few moments, Jasper realized that she was being too candid, and that she could very much spit on his face and crack his nose with her helmet. So, she did just that.

Diamond was sent flying back with the force of impact, too stunned to form a shield around himself. He crashed right into one of the Jaspers, which landed them out of the range of one of Lapis' attacks. Diamond slowly got up, feeling a lot less sure about himself.

"Oh, come on, you can't possibly be that naïve." Master Jasper said, smiling from ear to ear. "Sure, you're the most powerful creature on this planet right now, but when has _that_ ever helped you. I win every time your stupid friends aren't here to save you."

Jasper rolled in a ball and rushed towards Diamond. He reacted on time and formed a featureless wall in front of himself, which managed to absorb the initial impact. Jasper was somehow able to bounce and attack again and again, which had him focusing on keeping his wall up.

Eventually he got tired of that and created spikes on the surface. She left her ball form and used the momentum to jump over his barrier, helmet ready, almost managing to crush his skull in. A thin pink barrier that Diamond barely managed to summon was the only thing between him and certain death.

"I know you can't poof, you abomination _._ " She sneered, standing on his protection, letting her entire weight force his powers. "But I know Earthlings are squishy. If you're still even a little bit like that, this fight is just a matter of time."

To punctuate her last word, she punched Diamond's barrier, which did crack it a bit. He was so much off his game. She could actually win; she could stop everything—

"Steven!" Lapis yelled, striking Master Jasper with a giant water jet. The warrior collided with the nearby wall, slightly disoriented. "Steven, what's going on?"

"I don't…" He was out of breath, trying to focus. "She got to me. But I'm alright. I just have to…"

"Lapis! Don't tell me you don't see it!" Jasper yelled, walking towards the two confidently. The remaining Jasper Corps surrounded both. "Whatever you saw in that little sack of meat and bones is long gone. That _thing_ doesn't care about you, or your feelings!"

Lapis didn't want to listen. Even if it made her heart flare up in apprehension, she had to focus. She had to make sure Diamond had enough time to…

"Maybe you're right."

The Jaspers stopped advancing. Lapis looked at Diamond, horrified.

"What…?"

"Maybe you're right, Jasper. Maybe I _am_ holding back." He stood taller, somehow. "Maybe… maybe a part of me thinks this is easier. Pretending I'm the same, like I didn't… I…"

Diamond rubbed his own Gemstone. He felt his throat drying up, and his stomach turning at the idea of what he was going to say.

"… like I'm not gone. Like _Steven_ is not gone."

The water lost its composure. Lapis' wings dropped to the floor. She couldn't even move, much less speak. What was going on…?

"Lapis." He looked at her, and a truly pitiful look adorned his face. She wasn't sure if it was towards her, or himself. "I'm sorry for dragging you along here. I… didn't want to do it like this."

She grabbed him by his arms, almost afraid that he'd just erode from her life like he was never real.

"Steven, _please_ tell me what you're talking about. Do _what_?! You're scaring me!"

"I've had enough of this." Master Jasper mumbled. "Squad! End it! Don't hurt the Lapis Lazuli!"

The Gems closed in quickly, weapons ready. They all collided with Diamond. He didn't even look at them.

Lapis couldn't do anything but watch.

* * *

In the Void, Steven realized he was being given a choice, all this time.

The Light of the Diamonds was as real as he was. It was as powerful as he could be.

"Are we in danger…? What are we doing?" It was like a never-ending nightmare, in the cusp of memory.

 _We must be one,_ no real voice said.

"I don't want to… I don't want to be one with you."

_We must be one._

"I'm Steven. I want to be _Steven._ "

_We must be one._

"Stop! I don't want to disappear!"

A pause. A soothing voice; a recognizable voice.

_One can be many._

Steven stayed silent. The other voices joined in, as if agreeing.

_One can be many. But we must be one._

_We must be Diamond._

_Diamond can be many._

It was so hard to keep doing anything. So hard to keep existing. It was clearly not the natural state of things. Maybe he could just sleep.

Steven closed his eyes. He felt a warm, pink embrace. An electrifying yellow presence. A sorrowful blue veil. A white godhead above his own, but still a part of him.

He was still Steven, right? He was just taking a nap… he just needed to rest… then he would fix it.

Then he would fix everything.

The Light of the Diamonds decided this was the best course of action. Steven would not be one of them. For now, they would be many.

* * *

The Jasper soldier couldn't explain it. Her hand had been cut off at the wrist by a formless _thing_ coming out of Diamond's back. The _thing_ started to shift and metamorphize into a bigger, taller form. It left his back, stood on its own feet, and made its own set of clothes. Its skin came out slightly paler than Diamond's own, and the sword was out of place in his hand, but it was obviously… Diamond.

Except for the soulless, completely white gleaming eyes. Another one came out from his side, this time holding a spear. A third one, a morning star. The original summoned a trusty pink shield.

"What _are_ you?" It was Master Jasper's turn to take a step back. "These aren't holograms, they're…"

"They're me, Jasper." Diamond said. There was something wrong with his voice. Something distant and cold clutching at Lapis whenever she heard it. "I said you were right. I wanted to hold back. I didn't want to do this."

The sword-wielding Diamond cut down the monoplegic Jasper like she was nothing. Before her Gemstone reached the floor, a ray of light extended from Sword Diamond's body and enveloped the object, sucking it into his form like a tentacle.

Master Jasper growled at the sight. "Hey! What did you do to her?!"

"I just wanted to talk, Jasper." Sword Diamond said, to her surprise. She didn't expect them to be _this_ alive. "I don't want to talk anymore."

The other Diamonds brutally attacked their adversaries. Lapis stumbled back and fell, still in shock. She'd seen Pearl's holograms, and many other Gems could make small minions based on themselves, but this… it was like Diamond cloned himself, over and over again.

The original marched towards Master Jasper, who, at this point, was thoroughly freaked out, but somehow that only made her more dangerous and eager to fight.

Her helmet met Diamond's shield full-on. Both fighters trembled because of the force, but Jasper recovered first. She tried punching Diamond in the face, but he simply bubbled her hand before contact. The would-be revolutionary lost her balance, but quickly popped the bubble by biting it with all her strength. Her sharp teeth cracked a bit, but nothing she couldn't handle.

"Always full of tricks, Rose." She spit, facing Diamond like she had so many others. "What's your goal here? Bubble me? Try to convert me again? Or are you finally going to just _shatter_ me?"

"Bubbling sounds like the best way forward." He said. "Unless you want to stop and join me."

"Stupid little meatbag." She jumped back and grabbed a piece of rubble, on the floor due to Diamond's entrance. She spun around and threw the makeshift projectile while launching herself the other way.

She knew Diamond could make multiple shields, so he was confused as to her plan. When both his hands were occupied defending himself, Jasper spun and stayed in place, making a smokescreen right in front of her opponent. Diamond's eyes watered, and Jasper used the surprise to come off her ball form and punch him right in his gut. Specifically, his Gemstone.

The invader was taken aback, endless shock going through his entire body. He'd never been hit _straight_ in the Gemstone before, and it was horrible. Jasper took the opportunity to ram into him at full force, reminding him that physical pain hurt just as much. He kneeled over and felt like throwing up.

It was at that point that Morning Star Diamond struck Master Jasper in the back, making her fall to her knees.

She stared at the copy, as angry as one could possibly be. Jasper could see five different Jasper Gemstones swimming around on his skin, as if they were all trying to escape, trying their hardest to reform. Jasper found herself taken by hatred, the likes of which even she wasn't privy to. These abominations were worse than any of Rose's previous tricks.

And then she realized the throne room had gone quiet.

Her platoon was gone. The three other forms were slowly getting closer to her. Lapis was behind all of them, watching like she was staring at a horror show.

"Jasper." Diamond said, on his feet. Panting, weakened, and clearly distraught. "Just give up. Please."

"Why do you keep saying that? Just shatter me." She got up as well, no longer towering over the boy, but still looking down at the man. "Your little freakshow annihilated the best in my army, and even if _you_ can't beat me, you're not alone."

Diamond couldn't quite tell if she meant the alters or Lapis.

"Stop telling me to shatter you, Jasper. Not like this."

"Spending eternity in your basement sounds just as compassionate." The alters came even closer. "I'll never work with you, you bastard."

Diamond took a slow breath, as if reevaluating.

"Why?"

"You've gotten everything handed to you, haven't you? Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz, _whatever_ you call yourself now. You just… keep sucking it up, and it keeps on coming."

She kept backing off into a wall to keep her front towards the clones. Diamond watched as she cowered like a trapped predator. She was right. She would never work with him.

But he couldn't do this in front of Lapis. He didn't expect to get here so fast.

"I had to fight for everything I ever had. And then here comes you, telling me to believe in you because you're _nice_. Stars, you make me want to puke." She wouldn't take her eyes off the original. Not even when her back hit the wall. "Everything you want is for the world to be your little version of perfection, that you got in your own perfect little house, living your own perfect little life."

And then she looked at Lapis. Lapis thought she'd flinch, but the look Jasper gave her was just so sad.

"Why him, Lapis? Why is _this_ what you want?" She moved her arms to encompass the four Stevens. "Why are you so attracted to monsters, Lapis…?"

The question made her flinch. The way Jasper said her name, the way her voice went lower and deeper when talking to her, everything, stars, she hated it, she hated all of it, she just wanted her to shut up, shut up—

Lapis walked forward, fighting back against the tears. She pushed Sword Diamond out of the way, who looked as surprised. The regular one didn't. He just watched.

"Don't you _dare_ act like you know me, Jasper." She snarled, pointing her finger. "Everything you do is say we belong together, but you are _garbage._ Everything you touch gets destroyed, and everything that touches _you_ comes out broken. You're going to spend the rest of forever in a bubble and I'm going to _laugh_ at you."

Lapis didn't realize she had gotten so close. She was practically touching Jasper's Gemstone with her finger. And then that— that revolting _rock_ put her hand on Lapis' face. Lapis was so distressed by Jasper's audacity that she froze.

Jasper's eyes were wistful, almost closed. Diamond almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. A perfect opportunity, almost immediately.

"It's like nothing's changed. You and me… we're still the same." She whispered, getting closer, and closer, no, no, _no, NO—_ "All I want is to go _back,_ Lapis. Be yours, and have you again, _forever_ —"

Their lips almost touched. Lapis didn't even notice one of the clones handing her a sword. She just grabbed the nearest weapon and stabbed Jasper to death with it.

Jasper's last breath choked into a cough, and Lapis felt her body collapse forward just before she poofed. Jasper's weight forced Lapis down, and for a horrifying, nightmarish moment, Lapis felt Jasper completely on top of her body. And then nothing. A small orange quartz laid on top of her bosom, as the tears flowed completely independent of her will.

Lapis screamed at the small jewel, like it was a venomous spider. She rolled and got up, sword still in hand. The jasper clinked when it hit the floor, twinkling in the light coming from outside. It was beautiful.

Lapis didn't realize that she never stopped screaming. The sword came up, and the sword came down. And again. And again.

Her arms burned with the weight of the weapon, but she couldn't care less. The horrible sound of a Gemstone cracking isn't something normal people could say they had ever heard. A deafening white noise was generated every time her sword hit the target.

Every time more chunks of orange quartz separated from their cut, Lapis felt like screaming more. Her throat wouldn't get sore, she wouldn't pass out. She could stay there forever, plummeting the mangled Gemstone that one day had been Jasper into dust.

And then Diamond grabbed her wrists. She still applied strength to her arms as if she was swinging the sword, unable to leave the moment, unable to come back to reality. Hurting Jasper was the only thing that mattered, the only thing that had ever mattered in her life, Jasper hurt her so much, Jasper was such a horrible person, Jasper took up so much of her mind, Jasper was _dead_ —

"Lapis, it's over." His neutral tone was mostly back, but his face was clearly concerned. "Please. Let go of the sword."

She was dead, dead, _dead,_ Lapis _killed_ her, her shards were scattered on the floor, some were on _her_ —

"It's okay." He gently opened her hand, getting rid of the sword and helping Lapis down. They were both kneeling by the end of it. "It's okay. I'm here."

Shards everywhere, little orange stars reflecting the light from everywhere, that shard right there made her feel _worthless_ , that one right there made her feel part of something _bigger_ , the bright ones on her hands were all memories of horrible, terrible, _nostalgic_ times.

Some of it was on her clothes, some was on her arms, they were everywhere, Jasper was _everywhere_ —

Diamond hugged her, and she just kept crying, howling at nothing. That wouldn't change for a long time.

Jasper was dead. Finally.

Diamond couldn't believe it had all worked out.

* * *

The Void was turbulent.

It woke Steven up. He was still in the middle of the Light, but something kept pulling him away. Maybe himself. Maybe he was holding back.

This was a rare moment of sobriety. He felt like himself, more than _not_. Couldn't really move, but space was probably more of a metaphor than a literal thing at that point, and the screen through which he saw the outside always followed his position.

The memories came back to him. They had invaded the Four Thrones. He had used his new Gem power. They'd put Jasper against the wall, and…

Oh.

Oh no.

He could see Lapis at his feet, asleep on the floor. She seemed to have passed out from exhaustion. As for his body; he was sitting on a throne, apparently very focused. Maybe that's why Steven was so awake at that point?

The Light didn't seem to want to fight, at that point. Everyone was balanced, everyone was low-key. It felt… nice, but very odd. This form wasn't defined by harmony. He had only seen them in conflict so far. But right now, the Light was quiet. Pondering on what to do next. Maybe that's why Steven felt so alive.

"Can you hear me?" He said, not sure to whom.

The screen remained motionless.

"We can talk, if you want. I want to talk."

Steven didn't actually expect any answers. The times he managed to interact with the outside world made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He didn't even know if he was making real noise.

Steven saw the screen's vision field look straight, summon a shield, make it fly around and collect some water from the floor. The body looked at the water as if about to drown in it. His older face stared him deep into his eyes from the clear puddle formed in front of him.

Diamond might have just been looking at himself in the mirror, but his gaze felt like it was actively seeking Steven out. The boy felt like time slowed to a crawl as his body inspected him, silent.

Steven felt he was going mad when the silence was broken.

"Hello." Said Diamond.

He could see him. Diamond could _see_ him.

And then Steven looked around, and he wasn't in the Void anymore. He was in the throne room. He had his 18-year old body back. Clothes and everything. Something weird around his Gemstone, but he didn't have time to check.

His 30 year-old-passing body, dressed in his weird uniform, was sitting atop their mother's throne, staring at him.

"She can't hear us." He said, looking down at Steven.

The boy skipped formalities.

"How could you do this?" His voice felt weird and unfamiliar at that point, but it was such a relief to use it. "This is… it's so _sick_. Lapis might never recover from what happened here."

He realized, with a chill, that Jasper's pulverized Gemstone was probably right behind him. Steven had no desire to look.

"I didn't know it would happen." Diamond rested his head on his open hand, like a sad monarch. Although sad didn't seem like the proper term. "It was not in the plans. I wanted Lapis to come along because she would be useful, and it was a good chance to get closer to her."

"I know what you were going to say to her before. I stopped you." Steven stepped closer to him…self? "You just keep manipulating people, telling them whatever they want to hear so they'll do what you want. What's your problem? What do you want with my friends?"

Diamond sat straight, looking into Steven's soul.

"You don't understand, do you." He got up, walking towards his younger self. Steven started to take a step back, in a battle pose, but Diamond raised his hands in peace. "There isn't _you_ or _I_ in this. It's _we._ _We_ convinced Lapis to come here. _We_ unified Homeworld. _We…_ "

Steven didn't need eyes on his back to know Diamond was staring at the shattered remains of his greatest enemy.

"We made a miscalculation." The man said. "And you've made it clear you don't approve of it."

"What do you mean?"

"The other Diamonds don't have a say in this, Steven. They're all just a part of us. Our limbs, our organs." He touched his own diamond, and Steven finally realized why he'd been feeling so strange. His own pink Gemstone was gone. "But you're the odd one out. My human portion, who refused to join me. Decided to watch from a distance, and… sometimes _pop out_. Like a mystery box."

Steven couldn't pretend he understood, but it didn't really make a difference. There was something much more important.

"There's no going back, is there?" He asked, and his older counterpart shook his head. "This is it. This is my life now. Our life."

"Yes. Diamonds fusing with diamonds… it's nature. There is only we, now. Only I."

Steven wanted to cry. His whole life, taken away from him.

"I didn't want this." He said, only slightly bothered by how mean he sounded. "I didn't want to be you. I wanted to be me, for… for as long as I could. I wanted to grow up, to… to be with Connie…"

"Steven, I know. Trust me, I know." Diamond's movements asked for permission to touch his shoulder, and Steven granted it, hesitant. The touch felt very odd. "I didn't want to exist, either. I was not in the plans."

"Don't… don't say it like _that_."

"I exist because of an equation." He stood up, making his diamond shine in three colors. "Your life for Blue's life. Without this, she would have been grey forever. But to save her…"

"We all had to go. Yeah."

They stared at each other in silence for a while. Even after Steg, it was still bizarre to see such a masculine form of himself. Steven was used to the opposite of that. Softer and cuddlier.

"Why do you say all that stuff to the Gems?" He finally asked, hugging his own arms. "It's so cruel. The way you… _we_ toy with their feelings is like… it reminds me of mom, but… I don't know, evil."

It's not as if Steven hadn't realized it before, but it felt gross to say it out loud. Luckily, his audience was caught up.

"We can blame White and Pink for that, I think." Diamond turned around to look at Lapis. She barely moved. "It is no excuse, and I understand that. But this is how I understand people. They're systems. thoughts and patterns. The fact that you actually _love_ them, is…" He stopped, as if thinking about his words. "It's not easy for me. It doesn't quite make sense. I know what must be done to achieve what I want, but it doesn't always feel quite… right."

Steven walked up to Lapis, inherently aware that he could not touch her.

"Do you… back on Earth, you were going to say we loved Lapis. Was that true?"

"I don't know. It's your feelings mixed with the other Diamonds' natures, and I parse through it. I'm sure it's true, somehow, but not how it used to be. Before us. Maybe I just appreciate her natural propensity for destroying what ails her."

Diamond watched Lapis sleep, as if appreciating her.

"Or maybe I feel kindred to her. She knows what it is to see the world through a filter. Like I'm stuck inside something."

"That's me, Diamond." Steven pointed out, annoyed. "I'm the one trapped here. You can go anywhere, wear my face, and do whatever you want. And so far, all you've done is freak my friends out and hurt people."

"But you feel it too, don't you? You're the part of me that is in conflict, but it must be obvious, even to you. This way of doing things… it feels like it will work. It feels like this is the best way to progress."

"Of course not!" Steven said. "I'm not going to defend your shattering someone, what are you _talking_ about?!"

Diamond approached him, some fire in his eyes.

"You didn't do anything about Jasper, and she took over Homeworld in _days_. She had been waiting for more than a year for an opportunity, any time when the Diamonds weren't a problem. She probably shattered multiple Gems herself. What was your plan for dealing with her? You heard what she said!"

"Yeah, but we always bubble people and it has worked so far!"

"Even when they would prefer death?" Diamond pointed at the remains of the warrior, which Steven finally looked at.

He didn't think there would be so much dust. Steven didn't know what to answer.

Diamond sat on the floor, settling on Steven's side. The boy didn't move.

"Steven, I'm sorry. The world doesn't have to be this terrible, but sometimes it is. I don't know if what I am doing is the right call."

"I refuse to believe that your way is the only way." Steven said, not looking at him. "We have managed so much without resorting to this, Diamond. What you're doing here, I… I don't believe in it."

"I know."

Steven held his head, fighting the urge to pull his own hair. Diamond's words were like worms, eating away at whatever confidence he had in his thoughts. Jasper had almost destroyed everything he worked for with Homeworld so fast. She'd fought for millennia. He knew she would just keep coming back, even if they bubbled her.

"I don't want to be here anymore." Steven eventually said, feeling hollow.

Diamond sighed, feeling similar.

"I don't think we'll talk much, from now on. At least not like this. This level of focus is… extraordinarily difficult to maintain while also functioning."

"I feel it. Like I'm being pulled away."

"I know I don't have your blessing to do what we… what I am doing. And I know that, at some points, you will fight tooth and nail to stop me."

"I will. I know what you think about everyone." Steven looked at him, desolate. "It's morbid."

"I'm sure you know what it is. A lot of it comes from you."

No answer. Just calm revolt.

"I don't know what I expected to gain from this talk, but I do want to make something explicit. I need you to know the most important thing about what's going to happen next."

"And… what is that?"

Diamond looked into Steven's eyes, and he knew their time was coming to an end.

"I believe in this. I genuinely do. It's not a trick, or a master plan, or some sort of plot for conquest. I… I want it all to be well. Because you do. We just disagree on how to do that."

Steven expected mania, madness, anything remotely negative in Diamond's eyes. But he just saw his own eyes, looking back at him, with sharp geometric shapes piercing through his mind.

"But if that ever changes… we can cooperate. You can help me, advise me when needed. We could save the universe together." He gently grabbed Steven's shoulders, although it wasn't necessary. Steven wasn't flinching. "I won't try to convince you. It must come from you. But I would like nothing more than to be with you, Steven. You're the only piece of me I care about."

Steven looked at Diamond. He was at a genuine loss for words. But the human eventually came up with something that sounded about right. His consciousness faded almost as soon as he finished his words, and then, Diamond was alone, still sitting in his throne room, head resting heavily on his hand.

_You'll have to earn me._

* * *

Most of the Quartz Rebellion Army had reformed and was regrouping when the massive communication screens came up.

Diamond was sitting on Pink's throne, slumped over the chair, staring straight at the camera. His elbows rested on the armrests, and his fingers interlocked in front of his chin. The footage was so still it looked like a picture.

"Citizens of Homeworld," he said. "You know who I am."

He paused, as if allowing time for his empire-large audience to collect themselves around communicators. The message was being broadcasted all over the galaxy; even on Earth.

"The rebellion has been quelled. Their leader has been permanently defeated. The Third Era can continue anew, afresh. We have been given new purpose."

He stood up, never breaking eye contact.

"There will be no more war. No more conflict. We are a self-sustaining, immortal race, with so much more to offer the cosmos than just our problems. Effective immediately, the galaxy will be a better place. The first step is the foundation. Await further instructions."

The transmission ended.


	9. CHAPTER 8 - DIAMOND'S BIG WEEK™

_Ugghhh_ was the first thing out of Lapis' mouth when she finally came to. Her vision was blurry, and her body felt numb. A tall, muscular figure loomed over her.

She focused her eyes in fear, almost releasing her wings. But it was just Diamond.

"Are you okay?" He asked, realizing he shouldn't step too close.

Lapis pulled herself up, looking around. The Throne Room was quiet. The water she brought in was all over the hall. And on the floor…

"I… I did that." She muttered to herself. Memories seeped into her mind like intrusive thoughts. "That was Jasper."

"You did nothing wrong. She was trying to do the same to us." Diamond said, trying to hint at a careful balance of grief and resolve.

Lapis didn't answer. She sat, pulling her knees closer to her chest, studying the rest of the hall with dull interest. It didn't look like she had anything specific in mind, just the underlying feeling that she'd done something terrible. That feeling was an old friend.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Steven." She whispered, not looking up at the man. "I remember feeling so angry. I didn't know I… that I could be like that."

"Do you mind if I get closer?" She shook her head, and Diamond moved to her side. They didn't touch, nor did they look at each other. He sat down. "I want to say thank you."

" _Thank you_?" She asked back, incredulous. "I shattered a Gem in a frenzy, Steven, I—"

"You saved both of us. I don't think there was anything we could say to her to make her stop."

Lapis paused as if she was thinking about what to say, but she grabbed her own head instead, burying her face away.

"I'm a monster."

Diamond slowly put his arm around Lapis' back. He didn't pull her closer, but their bodies were already almost touching.

The blue Gem sobbed as they sat in silence.

"Lapis?" He said after a while.

She didn't reply, but the sobbing soon stopped.

"I want your help with Era 3. The new one, I mean."

"What…?"

"I don't think we'll have to ever do… something like this again, but I need someone I can trust. Someone who gets it." He paused to wait for a reaction. Where there was none, he continued. "I trust you. More than the others. And I think you trust me, too."

She sniffled, wiping a tear away. "You could say that."

"Then please…" He looked at his friend, their faces close. "I need you for this. By my side."

He watched as her gaze turned from sorrowful to purposeful. Diamond could almost see her life shifting gears slightly; switching lanes to this new objective.

"I understand."

She motioned to get up, and Diamond took his arm off her back. Lapis turned and walked towards the remains of Jasper. Diamond watched as she stood by a particularly large chunk of orange quartz, as if deciding what else she would do about that.

Lapis eventually bent over, picking up the shard. The Gem studied the piece of what once was someone to her. Maybe not someone good, but she couldn't deny she had a place in her heart. A black, desolate place, but a place, nonetheless.

She threw the shard away.

"I'm not calling you My Diamond, alright?" She turned to Diamond, smiling. He smiled back.

"Deal."

* * *

"He has gone too far." Said Garnet, arms crossed. Behind her glasses, her third eye blinked wildly, changing timelines in hopes to make sense of the present. "We have to confront the possibility that Steven might be compromised."

The beach house had been silent for days since Diamond left. The Pearls had set up shop in Little Homeworld, and the Gems had been busy themselves. It wasn't until two days ago, when Diamond's message reached all Gemkind, that the Crystal Gems decided to come together for a meeting.

" _Compromised_? Garnet, listen to yourself." Pearl's neurotic pacing undercut her attempts at reason. "It's Steven, it's— yes, he's not like he usually is, but he's still our… w-we watched him grow! We watched him save the universe!"

"And yet here we are, Pearl." The leader approached her friend, gently grabbing her arm. Pearl stopped moving. "In less than a month, Steven has brought down all other Diamonds, taken over Homeworld and now he's saying he has _instructions_ for all Gems. It wasn't a full year ago when he said he was looking forward to _retiring._ This isn't Steven. You _have_ to see that."

"I… I don't know." She touched Garnet's hand, as if trying to sap her strength and confidence. Everything felt like it was about to fall apart. "Maybe Steven's new perspective isn't that bad. We all had our doubts that the Diamonds would comply with Era 3, and now… now they do. Maybe this is just what it's necessary for intergalactic peace."

"But you feel it too. I know you do. This awful feeling that there's something wrong." Garnet let her go and took off her glasses. Her third eye was bugging out of its socket. "Pearl… I feel like we lost him and didn't even notice it. And I'm afraid we're bound to lose even more if we just leave this… Diamond… to do whatever he wants."

Pearl couldn't answer. Her eyes started to water, and a knot started to form in her throat. She threw herself at Garnet, hugging her. "Garnet, I'm scared."

"Me too."

There was a strange type of silence, not awkward nor comforting, that permeated the air like miasma. Until the loud one cut through it.

"Uh." Amethyst finally spoke up, laying on the couch. "You guys, not gonna lie, this is kinda bumming me out. I mean, Steven's still himself. He's got his face and he's been pretty good to us. So he took over Homeworld, but what's the big deal?"

Garnet put a hand on her hips, and her glasses back on. "Do you really believe that?"

"Sure." Amethyst sat up, spreading her arms on the couch. "I mean, yeah it's been kinda weird, and it feels like he's not the same, but I dunno. I believe in him. The guy always pulls it off, and he's usually right."

Pearl looked worried at Garnet, and then turned her eyes to Amethyst. "That may be so, but still— taking over Homeworld without even telling us, and he hasn't come back…? What can possibly be next?"

"Maybe he'll conquer the Earth, too!" Said Amethyst, holding her arms out like claws. "Finally!"

"That's not funny." Said Garnet.

"Well I don't like it when you just act like Steven's _gone_ , either. That's not funny either."

"Amethyst, please." Pearl chimed in, annoyed. "We're all worried here, and it's concerning that you're not. Does he really feel right to you?"

"Maybe he doesn't feel the same, but what are we supposed to do if he just _changed_? He changed a lot when he turned into a teen; he changed a lot when he turned 18, and now maybe he's just older! He looks like it!"

"Boys don't just turn into intergalactic dictators when they're older, Amethyst, that's ridiculous." Garnet said, barely grasping at what Amethyst's point was.

The purple Gem sighed sharply, upset at this confrontation.

"Ugh, alright. I'm gonna go hang out with Greg, ask him what he thinks is up with the kid." She jumped off the couch. "Seriously, though. It's Steven. How bad can it be?"

* * *

On the first day of the rest of Homeworld's existence, that is, on the day of the announcement, hundreds of Gems stood outside the Four Thrones. All cuts, colors and sizes waiting patiently for any sign of what was to come. Some crying, some afraid, some hopeful. A couple years was nothing for Gemkind, but these past five had been so busy, so full of change…

The Halls had been closed off for most of Gemkind for eons. Diamond's original insurrection had changed that, but Gems seldom wanted to visit it. It was a reminder of times long past, oppression and control the likes of which no other race had ever seen before. And now, the doors were closed again.

There was chatter, murmuring and moaning, but it was still almost quiet. There was not much to say. A Diamond sat on the throne, and Homeworld awaited orders.

When the gates finally opened, the crowd was met with Jaspers.

Their suits reflected their new allegiance. A diamond shield, wide on the top and thin at the bottom, brandished their uniforms. Lapis Lazuli showed up in the middle of the Jasper Corps, also dressed differently. Gone were the sweatpants and the star blouse; she wore a uniform much like the Master Jasper's, but in her own colors. Dark blue pants that went up to her stomach, and a shirt with the Diamond on her back, with a blue star on the side of her body. Her hair was tied behind her back, making her head strangely round. Her gloomy eyes patiently studied the crowd.

"Steven will see all of you who hold any power in Homeworld. Garnets, Agates, any and all commanders. The rest of you get to wait." She stopped talking to look around for any dissidents. The entire plaza was silent. "Come on, people. We don't have another six thousand years to do nothing."

A big, green hand raised up. Some sort of Jade, or maybe Emerald. She wore a yellow helmet, and a fancy dress. Reminded her of an overgrown Peridot.

"I am Tsavorite. In behalf of all my underlings I ask you, what is the nature of this summon? What is Steven Universe planning?"

"Talk to the boss. I'm just here to make sure things go smoothly."

"I represent twenty Tourmalines, five Emeralds and all of _their_ subjects. I will not be strong-armed by a mere human—" Tsavorite stopped talking when Lapis raised her hand.

Behind the blue Gem, a fist of water was raised, almost as tall as some of the structures around it. Easily enough to quell any sort of resistance.

"You get your turn to talk, Tsavorite. You just have to come in." If looks could shatter. "Just know your place, and all your green friends get to be happy."

Tsavorite gulped, finally lowering her hand and starting to make her way to the castle. A few dozen different Gems, all of them tall and majestic, followed suit. Lapis' water construct lost its configuration, turning into a diamond symbol instead. She crossed her arms and didn't look to her sides as the commanders walked into the Great Hall.

"The rest of you are free to go. You will know when and where you're needed." She meant for it to be enough, but even she could see how uncomfortable the crowd was. Lapis sighed, trying to loosen up. "Just trust him. Things will be better."

It didn't seem to make much of a difference, but she knew they were just nervous. Soon, they would see.

The gates closed, and the group of important Gems looked at her for directions. The Jaspers did their job and stayed quiet, almost statuesque. Lapis looked at Hessonites, Holly Agates, and at least five other types of Gems that wouldn't even look at her last time she came home. She scared them.

"You know where the throne room is, but, follow me anyway. You know how it is. There's a protocol." She couldn't help but smile softly. Being in control was awesome. She should have helped take over the world a long time ago.

The halls were silent, except for footsteps. The Jaspers walked forward as a unit, escorting the group up to the center of their government. To their surprise, Diamond was not sitting down.

The Four Thrones would have to be renamed. Hundreds of little Pebbles were running and rolling around the floor, picking up the pieces of debris and shards. No one _really_ wanted to take a guess at what those shards were.

A large concentration of the workers was picking the Thrones apart, rearranging them into something new. Diamond watched them, hands behind his back. When he heard the steps of his guests, he turned around.

"Thank you, Lapis." Lapis nodded, stepping away. "Greetings. I don't know you, but you know me. If I'm correct, this room holds direct control over at least one million Gems. Your work is vital for Homeworld to function, and I look forward to working with you. There is much that needs changing, and I hope to discuss it with you today."

"I… please, My Diamond."

A reddish Gem stepped forward, doing the classic salute. She was wearing a one-piece uniform that showed her legs and had large shoulder pads extending from her neck. Her Gemstone stuck out from her forehead, and her short hair was a glimmering shade of orange.

"I am Fire Opal, and I am responsible for many of Homeworld's defensive forces."

"Yes?"

"Not too many years ago, you…r _previous form_ ordered the disassembly of our armies, and the de-weaponization of our attack forces. It took more than a year, but we complied, under the understanding that the era of war was over. But now, you have a battalion of Jaspers, a powerful Lapis Lazuli, and have taken over Homeworld by force… and you come asking for things to change once again."

"I am aware."

"Right." Fire Opal knew she was stepping on dangerous terrain. She chose her words carefully. "The… organized forces we have left… will _not_ resist another drastic realignment. I understand you are not calling this a new Era, and that peace is still our overall goal, but you said… I-I just don't think—"

"Please, Fire Opal." Steven raised his hand, and the Gem went quiet. "I understand what you're saying. My first attempt at solving Gemkind's problems resulted in a lot of stress and grief for you."

"Y-yes, My Diamond."

"You're just trying to look out for your people. I'm sure they look up to you."

She didn't answer, obviously intimated.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, looking into her eyes. No Gem was truly used to being stared at by diamond-shaped eyes, and it always required some bravery to speak under the circumstances. Fire Opal choked on her words. "It's okay. You will not be reprimanded if you tell the truth."

"I…" She took a deep breath, closing her fists and standing taller. "I do not. I have no reason to. You've disrupted the prosperity and functioning of Homeworld once, and now you aim to do so again."

Steven nodded, and then addressed the rest. "Does she speak for all of you? Act freely."

One by one, the leaders of Homeworld looked at each other, and confirmed. Some of them looked scared, but others were in control of themselves.

One of them stepped forward, standing shoulder to shoulder with Fire Opal. Her color was an opaque black, and her outfit looked militaristic, with Era 1 gloves and boots. Her long hair was different shades of green and red, like it was glimmering in the faint light of the room.

"I am Fire Agate. My sister speaks the truth. The transition from Era 2 to 3 meant the end of all assigned Gem activity, and all Homeworld's industry. We no longer have the resources to do _anything_. And now you call us to talk about a new plan, and a new way to do things? With all due respect, why would any of us trust you? Why would we assume you're not just going to throw our society away again?"

Diamond's frown remained unmoved, but his gaze changed intensity. He seemed to transition from what was ostensibly a commanding aura to a caring, sympathetic one. From that distance, no one could notice the pink circles around his eyes glimmering around his pupils.

"Did you trust Yellow Diamond?"

No one spoke immediately. From her side of the room, Lapis narrowed her eyes, mildly confused.

"I did." Fire Opal said, finally. "We all did."

"How about White Diamond? Blue Diamond?" Diamond turned from them, staring back at his soon-to-be new throne. The Pebbles were almost done with it. From the four old chairs, came a new, bright new one. Fancier than Pink's old throne, but just perfect for his size. "Did you trust them?"

"Our Diamonds assured Homeworld's expansion and prosperity for millennia." Tsavorite said, from the crowd. "We would have died for them."

"You still can."

Tsavorite was taken by surprise. She didn't quite know how to answer. Diamond didn't wait for her to figure it out.

"You see, I am Yellow Diamond."

His diamond Gemstone started to glow yellow. In front of him, a projection started to take form. It was massive, and somehow seemed to electrify the air around itself. Yellow Diamond stood almost 25 feet tall, and the feeling of being looked down on infected all the commanders immediately.

"I am also Blue Diamond." He said, his diamond glowing blue. Blue Diamond joined her sister, a gigantic projection of light looking down on her subjects. "And White."

The Diamond trifecta was immobile, but there was no denying the effect they had on the present Gems. Some of them were clearly holding back tears. Lapis couldn't quite control the chill down her spine.

"You assume I am a new ruler. I understand why. You're not used to this form, after all." He turned around to meet their eyes. "But I _am_ Your Diamond. I am all of them; even more. I am what beat them."

Diamond extended his arm, creating his rose shield. It attracted stares much like a bloody knife.

"I am the combination of everything good about them, plus the understanding of where they went wrong. None of them were perfect, but, together…"

The shield rotated. Its circular shape started to shift into an old Era 1 Diamond Authority symbol; all four colored squares joining as one. Eventually, it started to shift again into the profile of a diamond, wide on the top and thin at the bottom. The new shield Diamond had his Gems brandishing.

"… together, we can do anything. And I do mean _we._ "

The shield disappeared. Hundreds of Pebbles scattered to fix the rest of the room, with their work on the throne done. The One Throne was grandiose and reflected light like a prism. Steven slowly made his way to the chair, sitting on it in silence. It didn't exactly make him taller, but for the menagerie, it felt close to doing so.

He offered them his hand.

"I need your help to make our people reach their full potential. To be the greatest race in the universe; to save _everyone_. Together, nothing can stop us. I only ask that you believe in me."

Lapis smiled. He really did mean it. The appearance, the methods, the voice, it all sounded so different, but there it was. Steven Universe only cared about helping others. That constant would guide them to victory.

And from the looks of it, the commanders agreed. Looming over them, the three Light-Diamonds watched silently, not reacting to anything.

* * *

The second day was spent planning, discussing, assembling. Era 2 had not been kind to Homeworld, Diamond knew that. But trying to unify everything under one banner proved challenging. There were no resources left planet-side, and the free colonies would have to be convinced to trade with their previous rulers. Steven had no patience for any of this, but it was all a necessary part of the process.

The Gems outside of the Great Hall did not disband since the previous day. They'd stayed exactly where Lapis had last talked to them, awaiting instructions.

To make sure he wouldn't be interrupted, Diamond decided to close off the Warp Network. Specifically, he made it so Earth couldn't go directly to Homeworld. If the Crystal Gems arrived there, they wouldn't allow him to continue the work. He'd contact them soon; it would just be a little longer.

Some of the commanders did not share his vision for the future. Some of them were genuinely interested in the quasi-anarchy of these past couple of years, where people _chose_ to serve instead of being expected to. Some were just nostalgic for dictatorship and militarism and did not approve of the endorsement of the former without the tang of the latter.

It became apparent very quickly that a lot of Diamond's work would be to reconcile these groups, among others that seemed to form as quickly as they fell apart.

Lapis knew he was trying his new approach, trying his hardest to be diplomatic, but she could see Diamond losing patience when the other Gems were stuck in their ways. That's usually when she did her magic.

"Excuse me, Steven." Lapis said at some point.

A Gem called Hessonite was scuttling about the room, trying to justify the construction of new cities in several colonies. The golden-brown, short Gem had a skeevy, almost insect-like behavior pattern, as if she was always afraid of being the center of anyone's attention for too long.

Diamond looked at Lapis somewhat confused, but not outwardly affronted. "Yes?"

"What Hessonite seems to want is control over these colonies, correct?" Lapis said, watching the Gem in question rock nervously. "It seems like this can be easily obtained, as long as certain conditions are met."

Diamond stared into her eyes, and a sparkling hint of a plan made him smile.

"Yes, go on."

"Oh, I don't know — if she's so excited for this new process, why doesn't she just find Gems that _want_ to work with her? I mean, it would be much easier to make this happen if she actually had a plan for this new colony of hers."

"You—!" Hessonite exclaimed, offended. "H-Homeworld needs colonies, that's obvious! This takes care of... of _some_ of the problem; I just need resources and time. I came to Our Diamond because I need to—"

"You came to Steven because you can't find anyone who wants to work with you." Lapis said, stepping forward. Hessonite stepped at least twice as many steps as she really needed to. "It doesn't matter what we tell people, your colony would suck anyway. Come back when you have a team and we'll totally listen to you."

Hessonite looked at Diamond, whose eyebrows were playfully raised as he watched the scene unfold.

"Well, Hessonite? You heard Lapis."

The Gem huffed, taking a bow and leaving the room as fast as she could. Lapis looked at Diamond and laughed as she saw all the stress on his shoulders leave his body as he sighed.

"That was what, two hours?" She asked, approaching. "You could wave me around a bit more, you know. She just wanted to gush about her weird fake moon."

"I know." He looked at her with genuine appreciation. It felt nice. "I just wanted to hear if there was anything useful in her drivel. As expensive as it sounds, artificial moon _is_ an attractive idea, but… I suppose I should use my loyal right-hand woman more often."

"Right-hand, huh." She said out loud, playful. "And here I thought I was just the hired muscle."

"Would that make me the brains?" He smiled at her. "It's not a bad notion."

Lapis, still wearing a smile, summoned a holographic interface. Diamond's schedule was full.

"Fire Opal still wants to talk to you today about how the off-world troops are reacting to the news. Tsavorite says her Peridots are still borrowed to the Brightening Office, and she wants them back… and Tourmaline sent a seven-pages long message about some artifacts you brought along when we got here. Something about Inbix?"

Diamond's frown deepened.

"I told her not to touch that. I'll go there and—"

"Oh, come on. It's just Tourmaline. I can go take care of that. Make sure she knows her place." Lapis said, touching his arm to keep him on his chair. "Fire Opal actually has important things to say, and she's brief. I'll talk to Tourmaline about whatever this is, and then…"

The sentence didn't end, but Lapis found that she much rather look at Diamond straight in his eyes than continue talking business.

"Lapis?" He asked, after enough unexplained silence.

"I meant, then we can do whatever." She finished, trying to straighten up.

He made no attempt to hide that he noticed her embarrassment, but Diamond made no fun of it.

"Whatever sounds lovely." He said, grabbing his own interface. "I'll see you soon, then."

* * *

The third day was partially spent in vigil. He had sent most of the commanders away to their respective units to talk about the change of the times. The Jasper Corps were outside making sure there was peace in the streets around the castle and picking up after some of the debris from the destruction of the past couple days. It had granted them a moment where nothing was truly happening, but they didn't have the context to relax.

In the innermost level of his mind, Diamond kept thinking back to his conversation with Steven.

There was, after all, always the possibility that he was wrong. That this was all a mistake, and that it would cause immense grief and loss to everyone involved. Maybe he could still call it off. Go back to Earth and figure out how to… stop existing, one way or the other.

But, regardless of how he approached it, he knew he didn't _really_ think it wasn't worth it. The most valuable thing he'd inherited from Steven had been his mission, after all. To make everyone happy. And this was the only way. If he wasn't in charge, they'd just… fail. They needed his help.

 _That_ was probably his White talking, but hey, it takes a village.

"Would you like to walk around Homeworld with me?" Diamond asked, a thought forming in his mind.

Lapis looked at him, tilting her head slightly.

"You sure? Our weird break's almost over, we still have that meeting with…"

Diamond got up from the One Throne, looking around the empty room.

"The palace will be here when we get back. We must interact with the people."

He started walking out, sure that Lapis would follow along. Not that it was a test, but she passed.

The streets of Homeworld were a special kind of busy. They were wide and polished, accommodating for every Gem's size and number of limbs. Multicolored humanoids walked around minding their own business, running errands and interacting.

Gems had no need for commerce or industry, but they craved meaning. Since the beginning of Era 3, Homeworld had seen a boom in individuality among the population. It was becoming much more common place to see Gem handcraft being traded in the streets, and art exhibitions and installations caught the eyes of onlookers at almost every corner.

Fusions were also a more common sight, albeit not entirely integrated into the local culture. Diamond saw a large, blotched purple Gem trying to ignore the stares its three chest Gemstones were attracting. He didn't blame them. Change was hard.

Still, it was good to smell the air of a busy planet, with inhabitants who enjoyed doing what they did.

Lapis, by his side, didn't seem as pleased.

"Do you not like Homeworld?" He asked.

"I'm not sure if it likes _us_." Lapis replied. "A lot of these stares aren't exactly friendly."

He tried seeing what she meant. The people he addressed with his eyes actively cowered and avoided him, as if they assumed he was looking for an excuse to smite them.

"I thought our entrance made our intentions clear," Diamond said in a low tone of voice. "Why would they be afraid? We're here to help."

"Uh, Steven, you _are_ kind of weird." He raised an eyebrow at Lapis, who, at this point, felt comfortable enough just staring back. "They don't really know you at this point. Not like I do. And you're kind of implying you're the sequel to their first oppressors."

"I don't see it that way."

"I think they do."

She pointed to two small, blue Gems hiding behind structures that resembled trash cans. What the structures actually contained eluded Diamond, but he didn't mind. When he looked at them, both jumped inside the trash can-passing containers.

He sighed and stopped walking, looking around the crowd. When his movement ceased, the rest of the Gems slowly started to take more notice of him, as if waiting for some horrible atrocity to unfold. Several put up diamond salutes, but the ruler noticed that even those seemed confused by what was unfolding. Diamonds never walked among the people. They never interacted.

Diamond started to move slowly, startling many of the nervous onlookers. This situation needed to be addressed and corrected right now. He made his way to one of the booths that sold craftsmanship. A small orange Gem stood behind a humble counter, with around a dozen round sculptures laid in a circle on top of it.

The sculptures themselves were a little bigger than an apple. The one further away from Diamond was a perfectly polished piece of crystal, with the rest of them appearing to have been carefully cut to have more facets in a clockwise order. The one left of the smooth crystal looked infinitely complex, reflecting thousands of individual rays of light all around. It reminded him of his own colorless Gemstone.

"Did you make this?" Diamond asked, unsure if he could touch the exhibit.

The Gem squeaked nervously. Her Gemstone was nowhere on her front, and she seemed to not know if she should be looking at Diamond or not.

"It's very beautiful." He continued, unabated. "I didn't know crystals such as these were found in Homeworld."

"I-it's…" The artist said, high-pitched and trembling. "It's not from here, My Diamond. Homeworld has no natural crystals."

Diamond looked in her eyes, which was enough to make the Gem physically recoil. Lapis sighed watching the display. The audience continued to grow with the tension.

"What is your name?" He asked, trying to do a relaxed smile. "I have not seen many such as you here."

"Andalusite. F-facet 42HJ, cut K9M." Andalusite said, finally putting her tiny hands in a diamond salute. "I was assigned to the Delta quadrant for the last five thousand years, My Diamond."

"Ah, an Andalusite. A rare sight these days. May I?" He asked, pointed at one of the spheres. Andalusite nodded so fast he was worried she might pass out.

The spheres were heavier than they appeared to. Diamond could see his reflection in each of the object's many faces, all staring back at him. Some of them reflected the people around the stand. They were all trying to lean into the interaction, but also stay as far away as possible.

He felt their anxiety as if it were an object to be studied. Something separate from his experience, but painfully real, like he could cut a knife through the air. This needed addressing.

"You're scared of me, aren't you?" Diamond finally asked, to Andalusite's panic. "Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. I just want to talk."

"I…" She made a sound, gulping before continuing. "It's… I'm not… I-I don't know."

"Steven, let's just go." Lapis said, touching his arm. "This is turning into a show."

Diamond touched her hand, asking for patience. She stepped back as he went on to hold his other hand out towards Andalusite. The tiny Gem didn't know what to do.

"Please." He asked.

Andalusite touched his hand, trembling as if she expected to poof on contact. Diamond enveloped her tiny hand with both of his, letting his Pink aspect wash over his mind.

"Thank you for everything that you do." He said, smiling warmly. "I couldn't make such beautiful things. It's because of people like you that Homeworld prospers."

Andalusite's eyes were as wide as her crystal sculptures. She had words stuck in her throat, leaving her mouth open in awe. But he could see that it was working. She was still trembling, but there was a different mood in the air.

"I know things are different, but I'm not like the old leaders. Homeworld has a place for what you want to be. Your art, your individuality. I, and your fellow Gems, cherish it all."

He let go of her, turning around to the crowd. Some physically recoiled, but he continued unabated.

"I cannot come out every day, as there is much work to be done. But please know that I do it so that you can be whatever you want. You are all precious to me, regardless of cut or Era. I am sorry that I will not be so present." He pointed at Andalusite with an open hand, as if welcoming her to a stage. "We all have our responsibilities, but please allow yourselves to be like our friend Andalusite. Please, be happy. You have nothing to fear from me."

The people in the crowd stared at each other, with nervous smiles showing in some of their faces. The tense atmosphere had been replaced with an admittedly stilted, but more hopeful one. It would take a long time before common Gems were comfortable with a presence such as Diamond's, but he thought this was a good first step.

He approached people in the crowd individually, extending his hand and asking what they were up to that day. Some of them choked and couldn't speak. Some of them were too overwhelmed and cried. A small number shook hands with them and looked him directly in his eyes, as if testing themselves and their new leader. Every Gem in the crowd had a story, an errand, or just something to say to him.

Lapis watched it all with arms crossed, more so she didn't have to come up with things to do. By the end, they had spent far longer than they expected there. She eventually approached him as yet another Pearl was talking about her struggles with indentured servitude in eras gone by.

"We gotta go, it's late." Lapis said in a neutral tone, but her eyes told a different story.

Diamond nodded, patting the Pearl one more time on the shoulder. He took flight, speaking in niceties and final pleasantries, and with one swoop, flew back to the palace. Lapis followed along.

They landed at its door around the same time, a few minutes later. He was about to enter the palace with no words, but Lapis wouldn't have it.

"Hey, what was that?"

"Hm?" Diamond turned around, his gaze betraying no feelings. "Is there something wrong?"

She squinted, somewhat suspicious.

"I don't know." Lapis admitted. "But that was… did you plan that? Did you know they were going to react like that?"

Diamond turned to face her, slightly puzzled.

"Of course. Why else would I have talked to them?"

"Oh." The tone made her feel uncomfortable, and she didn't know why. "You just sounded so genuine."

He smiled.

"Yes, I did."

* * *

The fourth day was spent planning more, but also, hanging out with Lapis. She had doubled down on her "middle management" persona a little too much when in front of other Gems, but whenever they were alone, he noticed her shoulders relaxing. She let her hair out and closed her eyes in a way that reminded him of a beach at night, growing warmer and darker every minute. A very comfortable sight.

He almost felt Steven within himself, watching from a distance, unable to really do anything but wonder what _would_ go wrong. The smallest tinge of regret for using Lapis like he had barely registered within the larger system.

It's not as if he didn't like her, Diamond told himself. He just _liked_ things different. People, too. He could see their value, and how they fit in the great scheme of things. He had the capacity to enjoy that value. The real difference between him and anyone else is that he could turn off that enjoyment.

But at that moment; that singular, quiet moment, he was content with enjoying himself. A lull in their work, a stanza of silence in the coordinated waltz they had been weaving. It was good to have someone he could be silent alongside with.

So many Gems and humans assumed they had to talk all the time, but Lapis, she just… again, like the ocean. He kept thinking of the ocean. People had to busy themselves. The ocean was satisfied simply being.

He didn't really need air at that point, but it felt good to take a deep breath and relax.

The sound of a portal buzzing and then exploding open didn't fit the mood, of course.

Lapis jumped from her resting position into a fighting stance. Steven quickly pulled himself straight on his throne, suddenly hyper aware that if this had been an attack, it would have been all over, the mission would fail, everything would be so much worse…

The giant pink lion and the athletic girl on its back, at some point, would have felt like a welcome sight. But something about the fact that she'd brought her sword made him uneasy. And, as far as Lion's constant scowl was concerned, it felt particularly threatening today. Or maybe just perturbed. Diamond had a feeling he would learn the difference between those two very soon.

"Connie." He said, adrenaline still coursing through his body. "I didn't expect you."

"Yeah, real nice to tell us you were visiting. I almost attacked you, you know." Lapis snarked, relaxing. But Connie didn't say anything.

She studied the room. Only then did Diamond realize that she wore her sword fighting garbs. Maybe she just had practice…? Surely, she didn't expect to fight in Homeworld?

The girl finally looked at him, as serious as he'd ever seen her.

"We need to talk. Alone."

Lapis raised an eyebrow, and a tiny smirk made its way up her mouth. He could feel something unpleasant coming, so he quickly raised his hand as a sign of peace.

"It's okay, Lapis. It's Connie." He turned to her, getting up from his throne. "Can you excuse us?"

The Gem didn't seem like she was okay with it, but her wings took her out of the room, through a roof window made exclusively for her access. Connie got off her steed, who walked away and curled into a sitting position. Despite probably being exhausted, Lion did not immediately begin to sleep.

"I apologize for—"

"Do you know how difficult it was to get here?"

He didn't expect Connie to interrupt him. She was usually gentle, but her frown told him this conversation was in fact, a confrontation. The couple seconds he was taken aback were enough for her to continue.

"The Crystal Gems have been trying to reach you for days. They've been scouring the Warp Network for a backway in here. At this point they're trying to get a ship and just fly to this place."

She took a step closer to him, and he realized there was a not-insignificant part of him that wanted to take a step back.

"Lion has been jumping planets for _hours._ Do you have any idea how much that hurt him?"

Diamond looked at his mom's old friend. He realized Lion was struggling to keep his eyes open. He felt a small surge of equal parts empathy and sorrow, but they changed nothing. This was not his fault.

"If it was so difficult, then why did you come?" He asked Connie. It had become a match to see who would break eye contact first. "The Network would come online eventually. I intended to visit."

"Visit your _home_?" She snapped, pointing behind him. "Is this just where you live now? Is this your new house? Why didn't you _tell us_ anything?! Why did you just close off contact with Earth after taking over an entire _planet_?"

"Because this conversation takes time away from my work." He had no spite in his voice, but the word choice was pretty… Yellow. "Because I have to focus. This is a crucial moment in Homeworld's history, and I had to do it by myself."

"So lounging with Lapis is part of your important work?"

He wasn't blushing, but something about the accusation made him feel _very_ human. "I haven't slept in a week, Connie. This is my first break."

"And you don't think that's weird?" She walked around the hall, pointing at everything else. "You don't think it's weird that you marched out of your house and recruited one of your friends to wage war against Homeworld? You don't think it's weird that you're obsessed with fixing things, and, and, you don't think it's weird that you haven't eaten, or drank any water, or _slept_?"

"How did you know I haven't fed?"

"It's Homeworld, Steven! The last food that anyone ate here were our bagged chips! _Four years ago_!" Diamond couldn't remember the last time he saw the girl this upset. She clearly wasn't used to it, either.

Connie tightened the bridge of her nose, looking oh so tired of being angry.

"I'm _so_ worried about you, Steven. You're acting so weird. Like you're a whole different person."

Consciously, he thought he could ballpark a speech that would ease Connie's worries. Words the old Steven Universe would say, in the exact way he would say them, with a sprinkle of real love on top. Maybe even reaching out and holding her hand, singing a song? But…

But something made him reconsider. That human tug in his consciousness. That little piece of himself that doubted his ways. That propelled him towards a path he would never take otherwise.

"What if I am?" His voice came out lower than usual. Like an omen.

"What if you… _are_ a different person?" She repeated. The concern never left her face, but it did morph into a different kind. Like she was getting closer to a despair she'd promised not to succumb to. "I mean, you're… you've got the Diamonds with you, right? But you said you couldn't feel them."

"Not like it is when it's us, no. But I'm not like I was before. And I _am_ staying like this." The words felt heavy, and he didn't know why. But he _did_ feel like he was losing his ironclad grasp on reality. Something from within him was fighting to make itself known. "You're saying that's not acceptable."

"I didn't say that." She blurted. "I just said I'm worried about you. I have to assume you're still you, and if you're not, I have to… I don't know, be informed of that? Be told what to expect."

The conflict birthed an unusual kind of awkward silence, even though they were still talking to each other. The room itself seemed to buzz with absolutely nothing. It was painful to fill the void with words, but it was more painful not to.

"I'm trying my best." He heard himself say, but the thoughts weren't really coming together in his head. "I'm… I think I'm right, and I think this is going to work, but every day is… i-it's hard."

Her expression grew more concerned with each word. She was looking directly into his eyes, like something was wrong. Something _was_ wrong, and Diamond knew it, but it didn't make sense.

"Steven…?"

Oh, of course. Steven.

"And if you don't… I… if you don't know me anymore, I'm… it's my fault. It's all my fault." Diamond didn't _like_ feeling this, Diamond didn't appreciate losing _control_ , Steven, _stop that_ — "I don't know if this is going to make any sense, but I need to know if you're gonna be here for me."

"I…"

" _Please_. I need to know if I can count on you. I need to know you're not just gonna leave! I…" _This is not just your life anymore. This is our life. And you don't get to make those decisions by yourself._ "I don't know if I can do anything if you're not here."

"What does that mean?"

"Connie, _please_!"

Diamond's head was splitting in two. He couldn't see straight. The room was spinning, but he refused to go down. This was a battle his own soul was waging against him, and he would not be felled.

Connie's mouth was agape, as if she was having trouble processing exactly what was happening. It was like Diamond could feel Steven's little hands grabbing at his brain, picking at his reality like it was nothing. He knew the boy was struggling, too. This conflict would give way to Diamond's control, whether he liked it or—

"I trust you." The girl said, bringing her expression to neutral. "For better or for worse. You don't have to ask me that. I'm not leaving you."

And just like that, Diamond felt the world again. The temperature of the room, every color where it should be, and the weight of his own body… all as it had been before that little self-skirmish. Apparently, that's all Steven needed to hear. Good. This would have to be addressed eventually.

He still had to end the awkward silence that ensued.

"Thank you, Connie." He was exhausted. "Sorry I went weird. Sorry I've _been_ weird. It's a new life, and I don't know what I want it to be, just yet. Sometimes my head, it doesn't… feel right. Sometimes I don't know who I am."

"I… guess I should have thought about that. I know how long fusions can be a lot. It's pretty overwhelming."

The spark of an idea brightened his thoughts, but he decided to save it for later. There had been enough excitement for one day.

"It was a mistake keeping you away." He looked up, and saw Lapis eavesdropping, right where he expected her to be. "Lapis, may you please unlock the Warp Network?"

"O-oh, oh, right, uh, sure, right away." Startled, she jumped away from the entrance, clearly happy to be able to just fly out of there.

Connie and Diamond watched the Gem fly away towards whatever she needed to reach. That did leave Connie with one question.

"Why _did_ you bring Lapis?"

_She kills on command._

"She was available." Diamond forced himself to relax, going back to an appropriate mood to talk to his friend. "Come on, I want to show you what I've been working on."

* * *

The fifth day was a day of reunions, and mostly lies.

Garnet and Pearl had a thousand questions, almost none of which Diamond was willing to answer completely. Amethyst seemed too distracted by the Jasper Corps to really participate.

"The Famster…?" She muttered, in a pondering position. "No… the Jasfam… wait, a bunch of you got different pieces of armor for weapons, right? Maybe something with that… metal, or metallic…"

"It's not just armor." One of the Jaspers said. Lapis, who was overhearing, recognized her. The one that came to rescue 3HJ. Regret immediately settled in Lapis' heart, but she didn't react. "We can choose other weapons, too. We have an arsenal. I have a hammer."

"Gosh that's so cool." Amethyst seemed in love.

Dodging Garnet's questions had proved the most difficult. He assumed it was the future vision. Every question seemed to narrow down her next one further, like she was trying to make sure he wasn't a million evil versions of himself. He caught himself thinking exactly _what_ an evil version of this plan would look like, but nothing came of it.

"Don't you think you're going a little too fast, Steven?" Garnet finally asked, after a thousand questions. "What is your endgame, here?"

"The betterment of all life in the universe and the establishment of Gemkind as the representatives of peace and progress." He said, matter-of-factly.

She was silent and impassive, as always. Eventually, she _hummed_ softly. "I see."

"Yes."

"Well, I still think this is too sudden. You took over Homeworld in half a day, and you're already talking to…"

Garnet kept talking, but Diamond wasn't really listening. This was such a waste of his time. He couldn't believe how much he immediately regretted opening the Warps again. The exact thing that he had tried to avoid was taking place, and now he had to deal with it.

Connie was still around, and Lion seemed to be close to full health again. When would they leave…?

"Still Garnet, it's really impressive." Connie said, in a better mood than the day before. "The local Gems seem to want to help. Sounds like freedom was a bit too much for a lot of them."

"Well, it's… a complicated thing to grasp, at first." Pearl chimed. "But I thought we were doing well before…"

"Hey, dude." Amethyst interrupted, from the other side of the room. "What happened to Jasper?"

Diamond turned around, trying to sound just confused enough.

"What do you mean?"

"Uh, it's a Jasper squad, they're all big and strong and dependable, and I don't think they just _showed up_ to hang out with you. They were with Jasper before, weren't they?" Her expression was casual, but her tone had the smallest hint of suspicion. "You know, _our_ Jasper."

He stared at her, wondering where exactly he could take this. He could feel Garnet and Pearl's gazes starting to burn into him, turning into questions he was not able to answer.

"We defeated her." He said, finally. "She didn't agree with the plan and decided to leave. I don't know where she is."

"Really." Amethyst said, crossing her arms. Her visible eye narrowed in suspicion, as she looked back at one of the Jasper soldiers. "That right, fam?"

The Jasper stuttered a bit, her chin Gemstone glimmering through her helmet.

"It's as My Diamond says. Master Jasper was defeated."

"Right, right." Amethyst looked back at Steven. She was clearly not convinced. "Cool story, _My Diamond_. Must have been one heck of a fight. I might ask Lapis for the rundown, get some new moves going, you know."

This was clearly something he would have to deal with later. Right now, playing along was the only option.

"Maybe you should." He turned his attention to the rest of his family. "Tell me about it later. Right now, I actually have a meeting with some of the resource managers."

"Oh, right, of course." Pearl said, a little too quick to give in to authority. Maybe it was the time and place. "We will leave you to your work for now. Maybe we'll stay in Homeworld a bit. See what the other Gems are doing, now that… this…"

Her words died, and Diamond wondered if this was the moment when Pearl had to decide whether she was all in or not. Whether this was an acceptable future, or something she had to fight.

Garnet touched her shoulder when she realized Pearl wasn't ready to decide.

"Don't worry about us, Steven. We'll find something to do."

Diamond smiled a goodbye and watched the Gems and Connie leave. It had been as uncomfortable and unproductive as he figured it would be, but at least he had time to work.

On the back of his head, he could feel a pull, as if wondering why he wouldn't just let them in. Show them the plan and be honest. They had supported Steven through much stupider, more dangerous plans.

"They wouldn't get it." He said to himself, in the empty hall. "Now back to work."

* * *

On the sixth day, they fought.

Connie came over without the other Gems. Apparently, they were doing… _something_ , she wasn't sure herself. Family meeting. Diamond knew that wouldn't work out well for him. But Connie was here and there was nothing he could do about it.

Considering the ladies' relationship, he didn't quite expect Connie to take to Lapis' new position by his side so badly. After all, it was strictly professional, and he seemed unwilling of reciprocating her obvious affection for him. But maybe it was the new look, or the new attitude, or the fact that she was always… around. Either way, it reached a boiling point.

It wasn't like a quiet, underlying thread of conflict, either. The point of no return was obvious.

"So, Lapis…" Connie started asking.

Diamond had been multitasking at reports and files on his terminal. There was a massive supply crisis in Homeworld and infuriatingly enough, no one had told him about it until he took over.

"… how are you enjoying the new job?"

"Getting to beat up people who look at me the wrong way? Helping turn Homeworld around?" The Gem listed, not really interested in eye contact. She was sitting by the throne, apparently content to simply wait for her time to shine. "Can't say it's the _worst_ deal I've ever had."

"That's pretty cool, I guess."

Connie would walk around the One Throne, almost as if looking for something different. Lion was sleeping, away from the conversation. Occasionally, a Gem would arrive with some new report or question, and Diamond would answer them with as much interest in their individuality as a regular Earth stone. As efficient as a computer.

"But, don't you think Peridot misses you?" The girl asked.

Lapis finally raised her eyes at her. "I mean, I don't know if I'm staying here forever."

"You're not?" Diamond asked, nonchalantly, but that's probably not the way it came out. Lapis looked surprised at the attention, but Diamond didn't take his eyes off his documents. "I wish you'd told me before."

"Wait, what?" Connie approached, with a confused expression. Lapis babbled something that never formed into words, but the girl ignored her. " _You're_ not staying here forever either, are you?"

Diamond finally seemed to realize the conversation he had accidentally formed. His expression was slightly surprised when he raised his gaze at Connie, and then looked at Lapis on the side. Both ladies had different reasons to be worried.

"I…" He started, letting the syllable drone on for a second. He seemed to be having difficulties figuring out who to talk to first. "… didn't think about how it would sound when I said that."

"Well, you said it anyway." Lapis said, crossing her arms. "What's the timeline here, then? Are we going back?"

Connie crossed her arms too, apparently in agreement with Lapis and waiting for his answer. He decided he could do documentation later.

"Well," Diamond started, trying to measure how delicate the situation was.

His Yellow and White wanted to come out, but something made him decide to go with Pink. Just a bit.

"I'm still looking through all the files and documents, so I don't know when I'll be done. There's an empire's worth of paperwork to get through. I might be here for a while."

"Oh, right." Lapis whispered under her breath, as if trying to convince herself that this was obvious. "Right, of course. This won't get taken care of in a day."

"Exactly."

Connie didn't seem nearly as willing to accept that. "But you can tell this is going to take years, right? At least. You can't single-handedly manage the entirety of Homeworld."

Diamond believed, from the bottom of his Gemstone, that he absolutely could. But he couldn't say that out loud.

"White Diamond did it." He tried being reasonable. Surely Connie could see the appeal of this one-Diamond government? She was smart.

"Steven, you're not White Diamond. She stayed cooped up in her tower for thousands of years managing Homeworld, and you saw the mess that it became. She had two other diamonds with her! Three at a point!"

Lapis' expression changed from annoyance to uncomfortable agreement the more Connie talked. Finally, she made her mind known.

"I mean, if Steven says he can do it, then we can trust him on it, right?" She didn't seem so sure of it, herself. "Besides, it's a new era, we've learned from the Diamonds' old mistakes."

"But that still doesn't change the fact that you're here in Homeworld, and not back on Earth." Connie said, this time less worried and much more melancholic. "We came here because we missed you. You just took off one day and didn't talk to us anymore."

Pink didn't seem to be working… more Blue, maybe? Or more White? This… was difficult. Where was Steven when you needed him…?

"You're overthinking things. I intended to visit eventually." The wording made Connie's eyes widen in horror. "No, not like that— I… of course I was going to spend some time here and there, but this is important."

"More important than us?" He couldn't quite tell if she meant _us_ as in friends, or _us_ as in… well.

"Hey, Connie, regardless, I think Steven's allowed to move if he wants to, no?" Lapis didn't try to be friendly very often, but Steven greatly appreciated it this time. She even put her hand on Connie's back as a sign of comfort. "It doesn't mean you don't get to see him anymore."

The last part of the attempt seemed to rub Connie the wrong way.

"Easy for you to say, he took you along for the fight." She mumbled, looking down. Lapis' friendly expression turned significantly sour.

"Hey, take it easy. I'm just trying to cheer you up."

Nobody said anything for a while. Connie kept looking at the floor with a frown, Lapis eventually turned her face away, annoyed, and Diamond was mostly trying to figure out how bad this was going to get before it was over.

 _Very_ bad, it turned out.

"Is this about college?" Connie finally asked, trying not to sound distressed.

Lapis raised her eyebrows, unaware of whatever this was. As well as unaware of what college was. Diamond, on the other hand, had completely forgotten there had been a conversation about this earlier, before he was born. It had literally been a lifetime ago, and those memories didn't fit that well sometimes. Diamond quickly scanned for whatever they talked about in his mind.

"No, of course not. I said I was happy you were going to college." He smiled, wondering if his eyes were portraying enough sympathy.

"Yeah, but…" He realized, growing increasingly worried about this chain of events, that she was choking up. "You said that it would be hard for us. Because I was going away for so long."

He didn't know what to say. Every single option seemed to either sound disingenuous or make it worse. If Connie became sadder, she might tell the other Gems about his plans of staying on Homeworld. He had to win her back, but how…?

This felt like something that used to be easier. But he couldn't see beyond the fact that she might cry, and his words could only delay or provoke the reaction. Stars, he had so much work to do.

"I did not take over Homeworld because of you leaving." Start with the facts, work your way down.

"But then you left Earth without saying goodbye, and you're saying you're not coming back, and now you're with… with Lapis!" She pointed at the blue Gem, who jolted awake at the gesture. "And you're like, four Gems in one! And you're older than me, and you're talking to me like you… like I'm…"

"Like what?" He snapped, irritated, not understanding how his approach led to this.

"Like you don't care I'm sad."

_I don't think I do._

"Of course I care if you're sad. Lapis has nothing to do with this." Diamond addressed the Gem, as if he was trying to keep both at a safe distance. "You came over to help me, and I'm really grateful. I don't expect you to stay by my side forever."

_I do, this is all wrong, this will take so long to rectify…_

"Um, I don't…" Lapis began, embarrassed. "I mean, it's not like I really _mind_ … staying."

Diamond fought back the desire to acknowledge that with a neutral 'Good' and to move on. It wouldn't be appropriate. Connie's color drained ever so slightly from her face.

"So that's what it is about." She muttered. "Lapis won't leave."

"Connie." Lapis said, at this point embracing her irritation. "You _know_ it's not like that. I came because he asked for my help. It's not my fault he didn't ask for yours."

"Oh, and he asked for your help with _what_ , exactly?" Connie turned from Diamond to look at her. Oh stars, this was turning out worse than expected. "Everyone here seems afraid of you two, and I haven't seen anyone who's willing to tell me why. I've never been afraid of you, not even when you stole the ocean!"

"Well, then maybe you _should_ be."

"I don't think I have any reason to _."_

Connie carried her sword everywhere when off-world, but at that moment, it was resting on Lion. So it was even more impressive that she seemed to care very little about facing a Lapis Lazuli completely unarmed.

Diamond had seen their respective expressions before, and knew it wasn't going to get any better without an intervention. "Connie, Lapis, please—"

"What do you even want here, Connie? Did you think you'd come over and drag Steven back to Earth? Don't you care about what we're doing?"

"What _he's_ doing. _You_ look like you're just hanging out by his side."

"What is it to you? You're the one who barged in here like he owes you something! Maybe the problem here is that you got it all wrong from the start!"

"Just because you like Steven, doesn't mean you get to run off with him!" Connie was a step away from full-blown shouting. Steven got up from his throne.

Lapis physically recoiled, as if Connie had pushed her. When she answered, her eyes were sharper than knives. Her expression closed completely. It almost reminded him of when she met Peridot.

"You know what's sad, Connie? It's sad that you think you're like us."

Connie muttered a confused sound, and any sign that Lapis had ever recoiled was gone. In fact, she was stepping towards the girl.

"You think everything's going to work out just because you're trying so hard, don't you? It's adorable. But eventually somebody has to bring you back to reality. I am _thousands_ of years old, Connie. From my perspective, I met you _seconds_ ago."

"I don't—"

"Steven is a Gem, too."

Whatever blood was flowing through Connie's face completely washed away. Her words hang on the air for just a second too long, as if to allow Connie to fully grasp what the conversation had turned into.

"He's going to last just as long as I do, and there's nothing you can do about that. I could just _leave_ right now, and come back in a hundred years, and we could pick it up where we left off. And _you_ will be—"

In his heart, he knew he had to say something. In his mind, though… this might be useful. Even as the impulse to stop heartache grew louder and harder to ignore, he couldn't shake the thought that if Lapis kept at it, maybe Connie would go away. Maybe she would go away forever.

Yes, he was conflicted over the prospect, and yes, he liked Connie, but…

"Lapis—" He ended up saying, far too quietly.

"I _know_!" Connie was the one who interrupted the Gem, in the end. Tears streamed freely from her eyes, and the yell was more than enough to make Lion wake up and approach the trio.

The animal looked at Lapis and Diamond like he usually looked at prey before deciding whether it should jump on them or not. Almost the same, but with its head slightly lower than usual. Like it was glowering at them.

The silence that Connie's outburst evoked was only broken by herself, choking on a sob. Lion threw her on top of his mane unsolicited, to no protest from the rider. He took one last look at Diamond and roared a portal to anywhere else.

Neither Lapis nor Diamond said anything as they watched the animal disappear.

Lapis exhaled sharply, letting the anxiety and anger leave her body, to be replaced by pure guilt.

"Oh my stars, what did I do." She said out loud, with shaky hands reaching for her own face. "What did… why did I say those things? Steven, I'm so sorry, I'll go—"

"No, don't." He said, struggling to keep himself from running after Connie. "It's okay."

"Okay?! But…"

"Lapis." He said, holding her hand. She blushed blue. "It's okay. It was harsh, but nothing you said is wrong."

"Steven, I really… don't think that makes it better—"

Something he could only describe as a stroke of genius hit him. This moment, this vulnerability— if he played his cards right, he could have her forever. She would never leave. He just had to reach out and—

—and then the impulse grew too strong. He couldn't do it. Not to Lapis. Not to Connie. Not like this. And here comes the feeling of not being in control…

"I know. But Connie is… not wrong. I've been treating her poorly." _Damn you._ "I have to make it right to her." _Damn you, Steven._

_You think you can just take over whenever you feel like it? You think I don't have ways to keep you from interrupting me?_

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along? I was so awful; I haven't done something like this in so long…" She covered her own mouth. "I feel terrible. She's my friend…"

He wasn't listening. She hadn't noticed he was shaking.

_Steven._

_Steven, I know you're there. I get it. They mean a lot to you._

_I will be less… controlling. But you can't keep just taking my life away like this—_

"It's because of me that you fought." Diamond experienced the horrible feeling of hearing his own voice saying words he didn't quite mean or didn't quite think about. His words were just distant enough that he noticed something was wrong. "It's because of me everyone's lives changed so much. I'll make it right by all of you."

Lapis seemed taken aback. Diamond felt everything fall into place. He could move, feel and think like himself again.

_Message received._

"I'll be back, and things will make more sense."

Diamond was frustrated at the fact that he couldn't do what he wanted with Homeworld. Not while Steven liked Connie so much.

The separation between his selves was the sole source of conflict in his life. Without that, he could take all the rest away. But that wasn't an option. So far.

This distance between personalities was easily the worst part. If he could at least talk to Steven like a normal person, maybe he could settle matters. But he felt exhausted last time. He knew those conversations couldn't happen frequently, and definitely not back-to-back. So this internal back-and-forth where every decision of his was either ignored or vetoed would have to do, for now. He hated it. He hated it so much.

Diamond shouldn't have to deal with Steven's human life. He was a Gem. A perfect Gem. Lapis was right. Connie's life was a speck of dust in the vast beach that would be their existence, what could she _possibly—_

Oh, amazing. Just thinking about it made Steven flare up. Diamond was getting better at telling him apart from the others. The Diamonds felt like four distinct clear lights of thought influencing his behavior, helping him make connections he otherwise wouldn't. Like four moods, or four ways of thinking that he was free to switch on and off at will.

Steven felt like water. Water coming from nowhere, getting everywhere and making everything heavier, and more difficult, and then it was up to his neck, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything. He felt he could drown in Steven, even if the boy clearly didn't mean harm.

It was that kind of thought that boggled his mind while he looked for places Connie could have gone to. He scoured his comm rooms for any footage, any sign that she was still in Homeworld. Lion wouldn't jump all the way to the nearest colony just over this. Maybe the Galaxy Warp…?

"We could have solved that, I know." He whispered to himself. No one around him dared interrupt his apparent monologue, whenever they heard bits of it. "But I do think Connie deserves better than to chase after this life she can't have."

Of course, Steven couldn't answer. But putting it into words drenched Diamond in Steven's feelings. At least, now that he knew what to look for. It became obvious when he was focusing.

Steven did not agree.

"I know you love her, but it's time to face the truth. She will die in the blink of an eye from our perspective. Millennia from now, we'll be thinking fondly of her, but there's simply no way for her to… _ughh._ "

He stopped walking, leaning against a wall to contain a headache. It was so frustrating talking to this child.

"I know, Steven! I know! I'm _you_! I can feel it!" Diamond hated feeling. In general. "Stop pretending you have a solution to this when you clearly don't!"

The feelings of rejection and sorrow were replaced by a quick flare of anger, but then quickly subsided. Somehow that seemed to have worked.

"I won't deal with Connie without your consent." Diamond said, softly. "If you're this opposed to having her leave our lives, then we do it your way. But… please, think about her, too. I might not be a good judge of morality, but it doesn't seem right for an organic to waste away in love with someone like us."

Nothing. Meaning Steven wasn't violently rejecting everything Diamond said. Progress.

He eventually found her near the Galaxy Warp, as he expected. She was crying by the crystal's side, surrounded by Lion's massive body. When the animal noticed Steven, it started to growl in anger. Connie didn't ask him to stop.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here." Said Diamond. Deep down, he was turning off most of the Light's influence. It was just him and Steven now. Felt empty and unpredictable. Diamond wasn't a fan. "I apologize for—"

"Not now, Steven." Connie didn't look at him. She just kept sobbing.

"Right." He realized he was just standing there, shifting his weight one way or another. He felt like approaching without asking for permission, but then was convinced otherwise. "May I approach you?"

She finally looked at him, through bloodshot and angry eyes. It didn't fit her at all.

"Whatever you want."

_That means we can leave._

Steven did not like that line of thought. Diamond slowly approached, realizing that regardless of Connie's wishes, Lion wouldn't allow him to get _too_ close. He decided to sit about six feet away from both.

"I'm sorry." It came out, easier than he expected. "What Lapis said wasn't fair."

"So what." She hissed, wiping some tears away. "She's right."

"She still didn't have to put it like that."

_Steven, is this right…? I'm out of my element, here._

Diamond was somewhat aware of Steven trying to turn the right gears in his head, but it was so much more subtle than when the Light informed his mind. He felt insecure about his statements. Maybe if he turned White a bit brighter, he could understand the effects…

_Fine, I get it, no need to be upset._

"I just…" She said, sniffling. "I just hate it. I hate thinking about that."

"Do you think about that a lot?"

"Oh, Steven, I…" The anger washed out from her eyes, being replaced by deep-seethed sorrow. "I used to think about it every day. Ever since your birthday, I just… gosh, you can just _change_ how old you are? I didn't… the first time I saw it, it was incredible, but now you won't change back, and is this gonna be… is…"

And then back came the waterworks. Feeling a sting of indignation for thinking about it like that, Diamond almost wanted to point out that it was _Pearl's_ line. But even he could see that his usual approach wouldn't get anything out of Connie right now. Not anything he wanted, at least.

"… and I never got you to talk about it." The sobbing seemed to have subsided. Her eyes were wider, more focused. She still didn't want to look at him. "You were always just going with the flow, and every time you were happy and relaxed, bringing it up would stress you out so much."

"I suppose I was pretty stressed out before."

"Before. Right." She looked at Lion and pet its head as a sign for it to calm down. It hesitated, but eventually the creature sat down again. Petting her giant warrior cat seemed to calm her down. "And now this. You're stuck as an adult, and I'm a kid."

"You're not a—"

"Please don't patronize me." There was no discord in her voice. She was just asking for respect. "I'm going to die in like 70 years, and you'll keep going. Given enough time, I'll always be a kid relative to you."

Diamond took a shot in the dark. He got up slowly, dodging Lion's glare while he approached Connie. He didn't extend his hand this time. Instead, he managed to sit by Connie's side. She still wouldn't quite look at him. He could tell she wasn't intimidated; it was purely annoyance.

"If that's the case, I want to spend more time with you."

She snickered. "Why, so you can watch it?"

"No. I want to make you happy."

_Is this me? Is this you?_

"What do you mean…?"

Diamond felt the strange dissociating sensation of Steven taking over his mind once again. He was just along for the ride in this one. It hurt Diamond's head, but Steven didn't seem to mind.

"I just want to be with you. I want to… to do my best for you. I-if you want to stay with me, I'm… I'm sure we can figure something out."

Connie's mouth opened, but no words came out. She seemed lost in thought.

"No pressure. I mean it. But staying with you, watching you grow into… I don't know, president, it would make me really happy."

Steven had to be feeling that horrible migraine, too. Fusion wasn't meant to work like this. The fact that they couldn't separate was in no way an advantage. But he didn't flinch until Connie said anything else.

"It sounds like you're talking about watching me grow old, Steven."

"Maybe? I don't have it figured out."

"I don't know if I like that." She said, sounding conflicted. "Just… seeing you stay always the same while I get worse and worse, it sounds… terrible. For you, especially."

"Me?"

"Yeah, don't you think it will be hard? Wouldn't you suffer…?"

Diamond felt Steven's hesitation. He didn't have a reply ready for this. Obviously, he would suffer. The perfect Gem decided it was too risky to allow for prolonged silences. If they were both committing to this, it was obvious what he had to say.

Diamond took control of his body through Steven's indecision. He gently touched Connie's hand, and looked deep into her eyes.

"I would never suffer by your side."

He immediately felt Steven's denial of his intentions, but it worked instantly. Connie's frown turned into a relief-filled smile, complete with tears of joy. It wasn't enough to calm Steven down, but it was enough for Diamond. If Connie was to stay in their lives, it would be in his terms too, not just his human side's.

She hugged him. He felt her hands gripping the fabric of his cape, and his uniform underneath. She was holding him tight enough that he could feel her heartbeat.

Diamond didn't mind losing control for this one. Steven deserved to feel that. It had to be hard, simply not having a body all the time. His consciousness drifted into the numb ether as he felt Steven assume direct control of their being. He knew he could only stay for a few minutes; the boy must be exhausted by now.

"I'm going back to Earth, Connie."

_What?_

"But your work here—"

"It doesn't matter. I need to go back."

_NO!_

He couldn't take it back. He couldn't even stop it. Diamond was just close enough to feel enraged.

_You can't do this, I'm just getting started, thousands of Gems are counting on me!_

No response. Diamond felt himself coming back to an even tighter hug, and a tightness on his chest that boarded on panic.

_This won't stand, Steven._

Nothing. Just the certainty that his plans had been foiled. For now.

On the seventh day, Diamond made plans.

* * *

His stay on Homeworld couldn't continue. He had already told Lapis he would continue the implementation of the second part of Era 3 from Earth. She was confused, and rightfully so. After everything, he would just let it go?

That's when the plans started.

Diamond closed his eyes, and a light clone slowly emerged from his Gemstone. It carried no weapon, but it was also more than a silhouette. Steven kept focusing, and the clone became more and more defined.

Soon, it was an almost completely perfect copy of himself. It emitted a faint glow, but it was otherwise indistinguishable. Except for the lack of irises.

"You can just make clones of yourself?" Lapis asked, studying the tall Light-Diamond. She bit her own lower lip. "And they're the same as you…?"

"Not exactly." Diamond said, readjusting his eyes. The thought that most of his powers had a chance of causing him a headache was almost amusing. "It takes some energy to create a clone like this. But it should be fine. I can put it on autopilot. It will help run Homeworld in my stead, running a system for my decision processes, and meanwhile we can…" He winced. "Go back to Earth."

Lapis smirked. "You don't sound excited."

"It just…" he started, wondering how to keep up appearances. "I didn't plan on going back. Not this early, at least."

She was probably the only Gem left in Homeworld who wasn't hesitant to approach him. Lapis reached for his hand and looked him in the eyes. She was smiling with a warm kindness that was unbecoming of her, but he didn't mind.

"Plans change. It's okay. You're a smart guy, you'll figure it out. We're not in a hurry."

That made him feel somewhat better, which he didn't expect. He held her hand tighter, which made her blush blue, like she always did.

Her eyes transferred from Diamond to his clone, who was sitting on the throne. The blushing continued. Real Diamond raised an eyebrow.

"I can make you one of these clones, if you like them so much." He meant it in jest. Her eyes widening in surprise and… something else wasn't that part of the joke.

"You mean it?"

"… I…"

"I-I mean, just joking. Just joking! Just kidding. That'd be weird. To have multiple of you. Just hanging out? H-hah, really weird." Handholding had become too intense for her. She recoiled back into her shell. "Just… the weirdest."

"I should… check on some things, then."

"Yes! You should."

So, plan one, keep Light-Diamond on-site. Now, for the rest.

* * *

Plan two could only begin on Earth, so that's where he went. His home warp had apparently not seen much use this week. Probably just the Gems trying their hardest to reach Homeworld. Which… they still weren't back. He still had no idea what Amethyst was up to. Questions for later.

Diamond looked around his childhood bedroom with a strange sense of Deja vu. The bed was far too small for him at this point, and he had no desire to turn the game system on. What was this, his sixth TV in as many years…? They got destroyed a lot. Soon he would be back to that room, for the foreseeable future.

Somehow, the prospect wasn't appealing.

It had been unnecessary to show up at his house, but he'd done it anyway. It had probably been the kid. He hadn't felt his human side's presence for hours, no matter how much he looked. If an ethereal entity could be tuckered out, that was probably what was happening. Taking direct control for so long must have been exhausting.

Diamond didn't hate him, he just… couldn't have Steven running around, like that. There was work to be done.

He took the local warp to Little Homeworld. The scent of clean air and vague lava byproducts immediately invaded his nostrils. Little Homeworld had little use for food or most things that emanated any smell. The air did always smell faintly of sulfur, however.

Diamond walked on autopilot to the workshop. The sound of metal hitting metal guided him as much as memory did. Every Gem around seemed to know him personally, but all of them looked at him different now. He hadn't visited in his new form yet. They'd only seen him a week ago, in the official communication channel.

The clanking got louder and louder. Bismuth was probably stress-blacksmithing.

Her shop wasn't exactly little, but the front was quaint, to say the least. A star adorned double doors surrounded by grey walls, intricately designed with lines, Gemglyphs and other designs that he'd seen in older places around the galaxy. It wasn't grandiose, however — it looked like a small ma and pa shop that had simply maintained since ancient times.

He walked in, which alerted the front desk that there was a new customer. A very busy green gremlin was sorting out equipment behind the counter. The yellow triangle she called her hair was slightly unkempt, and multiple tools were floating right above her body.

"Give me a second, I'm busy, I—" She finally looked over at the entrance, and every single tool fell at the same time. "Steven!"

"Peridot. Perfect. I need to talk to you, too." He stayed motionless, watching the Gem eye him head to toe. Or at least what she could see from her perspective.

"I… I-I…" He could almost _see_ her struggling not to do a Diamond salute. It was cute, he had to admit. "I didn't… we weren't expecting you!" She said, far too forceful.

"Yes, same with me. It appears I'll relocate to Earth until further notice."

He looked around the shop while talking. Electrical pieces, Gem-battery shards and other items adorned every wall. Some of them were even bubbled. It was quite an impressive operation. Bismuth hadn't really let him visit while they built it. She said it would be a surprise.

"I would like your help with figuring out some logistics, actually."

"Me! My help!" Again, too forceful. The verge of panic had never looked so green. "Right! Right away! I'll… what do you want, again?" Her unchained train of thought seemed to hit a wall.

"First? Calm down." Maybe it was too serious? She seemed to recoil slightly at the lack of euphemism. "I mean, you look really tense. Please, there's no need to be nervous."

She didn't answer immediately, but her face wasn't getting any less relaxed. "I'm not nervous, I'm worried. You fused with every Diamond. It's… overwhelming."

Yes, he had seen the effects on some Era 2 Gems. They seemed to become physically ill when trying to internalize the concept of a single Diamond, as perfect as three of their previous masters. Maybe it was a consequence of how they were made? They did seem to acclimatize to the idea after a while.

"I'm sure it will feel better once we start working together." He smiled, trying to summon that suave Steven charm that all the girls loved. Worked more than nothing. "Is Bismuth here? It would save time to talk to both of you at once."

"Uh… Bismuth. Right. Bismuth…" Her eyes darted around the room, trying not to look at what was essentially her god figure. "About that, she…"

The clanking stopped. Peridot looked behind her towards a large wooden door. Both heard loud, heavy steps approaching.

The door finally opened to a Bismuth that had seen better days. Her hands were drenched in a black substance that reminded Diamond of charcoal. Her rainbow dreadlocks, usually tied up in a bun when she worked, were all over the place. And, even though Gems never needed to sleep, she looked sleep deprived.

"Well, well, well, look who graced us with his presence. It's _Our Diamond._ " At least her attitude hadn't changed. Her left hand was still transformed into a hammer, which didn't fill Diamond with confidence. "I knew I recognized your voice."

"Hello, Bismuth. Your shop is really impressive."

"Great. Ya done looking, then?" She wasn't even smiling at him. Was it something he'd said…? "I'm sure you got tons of other important Diamond stuff to take care of."

His smile gave way to a puzzled expression. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong." She repeated, chuckling. Then laughing. He couldn't quite tell if the laughter was forced or not. "What _wrong_ , he's asking me. Oh, my stars."

"C-come on, Bismuth, we could hear him out." Peridot asked, smiling in that neurotic way she always did.

"Oh, can it." The blacksmith barked back, startling the smaller Gem. Steven frowned. This wasn't in the plans. "You really went and did it. After thousands of years of us fighting back against the Diamonds, you went and fused with _all_ of them."

"Is there a problem?"

Bismuth grit her teeth with enough strength that Steven could be sure regular human teeth would have cracked. She walked around the counter, approaching him. Her hand was still a hammer.

"The _problem_ is that the Steven I knew wouldn't want to take over Homeworld like that. The _problem_ is that all Diamonds are good for is conquering and promoting terror! Come on!" She pushed him; the lowly rock actually _pushed_ him. "Do you think I'm stupid? Don't you think I can see through you, _White_?"

Steven did a double take when hearing her. Which, for him, was just blinking twice. "Excuse me?"

"This only makes sense if White Diamond somehow took you over! Somehow made you think conquering the world was the right thing to do!" Her face contorted in worry. "Steven, can't you see you would never do that…? How does any of what you've been doing make any sense?"

Diamond couldn't feel anything coming from Steven. And for him, everything made perfect sense. Although not even he could ignore the fact that, yes, White did have a specific penchant for… control. Because of that, he paused before saying anything else. He had a feeling that if he let his Pink guide his words, Bismuth would realize who she was talking to, and fight him to the death.

His hands raised in surrender. He didn't want to fight Bismuth. It would make things harder.

"I think this is the best way to make sure no one has to fight ever again."

He tried being as succinct as possible, but at that point, Diamond was starting to wonder whether that approach was worth anything. But, for all the grief it has caused him up to that point, Bismuth _wasn't_ attacking.

"I'm tired of seeing innocent Gems in danger. A haven gives them a place to escape. _This_ ends their reasons for running away."

Bismuth's other hand turned into a sickle. Great.

"So why haven't you unfused? Why are you still like this? It's been a month!" She growled. Peridot's hands were too busy grabbing her own face in anxiety to contribute to the conversation.

"I can't. I can't unfuse, Bismuth. Look at my Gem." He pointed at the single diamond in front of his stomach. "There's nothing to separate. I'm just myself. I'm Diamond now."

He didn't expect a genuine tinge of sorrow to emanate from… somewhere. It wasn't Blue, and Steven was still away. Was that him?

"Is that a problem?" He finished, realizing he genuinely wanted Bismuth to react well to this.

She didn't seem to understand.

"That's… not how fusion works." She could clearly see that there were no other Gemstones on his body. His front would have been stacked with different diamonds, his size would be massive, and he probably wouldn't _exist_ for very long. But… "What _are_ you?"

Diamond grimaced. "I'm a Gem. Just like you, and Peridot, and everyone else. And I want to help. Homeworld was in shambles, Bismuth!" Too passionate. Yellow down. Wait— it's working. Yellow _up_. "There were no resources there, and White was about to make it worse! She was going to…"

He realized he hadn't thought about whether to tell others about Editing or not. It was a possible tool for progress, maybe even something he could use against dissidents, but it was also a horrible failed experiment.

"She was going to what?" Arms down, but still transformed. Getting through.

"To change Gems. She found a way. It's called Gem Editing." The fact that it was a failed project was the key. He could do better later. Bismuth was in obvious conflict. "It changes a Gem's core programming into whatever White wanted. She used it on Blue Diamond and it almost killed her. That's why I had to… do this." He motioned at himself, and then let his arms relax.

"Wait, Steven," it was Peridot's time to talk, apparently over some of her shock. "You mean you didn't _want_ to fuse?"

Bismuth's eyes went from confused to horrified. "But if it's permanent, then…"

Steven didn't have to answer. Bismuth was his. Her hands replaced the tools, and he saw the tears welling up on her eyes. She ran up to him and hugged the man like it was the first time she saw him for who he was.

"Oh my stars, Steven, you _didn't_!" Tools or not, her grip was iron tight. Diamond could barely breathe. "What were you thinking, you _idiot_?! That's your entire life you changed just because of three monsters!"

"Bismu—"

"Of course you would do this!" She was basically talking to herself at this point, so Diamond figured he might as well allow her to. "You always do this! It's always about everyone else, and not you! You incredible _idiot_!"

She punched him right in the chest, with a little too much strength. He felt his lungs lose most of their air.

"Why would you do this?! You finally got your peace, and now you don't even get to enjoy it! Ugh!"

Bismuth punched the wall on her side and opened a hole in it. Diamond decided to assume she hadn't missed.

The hulking blacksmith continued to sob, apparently too overwhelmed to form coherent sentences. He hadn't expected her to react like… this. Maybe Pearl, but Bismuth always looked so in control. But, then again, she was defined by extreme, sometimes violent outbursts of emotion.

Peridot, on the other hand, was quiet. He had expected _her_ to freak out. But she looked at him from behind her yellow visor, unblinking in fascination.

"Um…" She eventually said, over Bismuth's continuing freak out. "What do we call you?"

"What?" Bismuth snapped, more at herself than at Peridot. She seemed surprised by the idea. Steven was simply mildly confused.

Peridot continued. "In the message, you said we knew who you were. But you're a fusion now. Garnet says…" Peridot cleared her throat, apparently also fighting back tears. "G-Garnet said fusions aren't just the sum of their parts. They're their own people too."

Diamond hadn't really been asked that in a while. Everyone was happy to just pretend he was the same person underneath six feet of muscle and a new Gemstone, and he had tried to feed that misconception. But so much time in, after all this drama…

_Diamond. My name is Diamond. Please, call me Diamond._

"Steven will do fine. But thank you for asking."

Maybe one day.

"Bismuth, are you okay?" After a split-second inner debate, he concluded that _are you okay yet_ would have been too much.

The grey Gem slapped herself twice as a response, shaking her head to focus back.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm okay, I'm good. Just needed to… you know, process. Might do a lava dip later. Or just drink the lava. Not sure yet."

She smiled, but Diamond was fully aware it wasn't an exaggeration.

"Alright. Okay. Steven, then. You're Steven. This isn't a plan, this isn't a scheme, it's not… you're not gonna try to shatter us all."

"Why would I tell you, if I were?"

The complete and utter silence that ensued made Diamond panic, but Peridot eventually laughed.

"Hah! Classic Steven."

Stars, Era 2 had been a bad time for Gem-making. But Bismuth seemed to think it was funny, too, so maybe his Pink was just so low that he couldn't even understand humor anymore. It _had_ been a genuine question.

He took a deep breath, and his levels went back to neutral.

"Alright, how about starting it again?" He said, smiling. "Hello, Bismuth, Peridot, I—"

"Ooh! Ooh! Wait!" Peridot shouted, startling both. She ran behind the counter and got on the little stool that allowed her to be at a respectable level when talking to people. "Welcome to _Bismuth's_ _Bisness_!"

She looked far too proud of herself. He had to laugh. And now, business.

 _Oh, like bisness. I get it._ _It_ is _funny._

* * *

And for the third plan, he needed solace.

He was back in Homeworld, and asked Lapis to go on ahead. Bismuth and Peridot were engineering a station for him to run Homeworld from home. It was mostly interfaces taken from the Moon Base and retrofitted into his beach house. It should work, but he had one final thing he needed to do in Homeworld, and he wanted her to make sure they had everything they needed.

Lapis wasn't comfortable with the idea of going back to Earth by herself, but he had his ways. He wondered if she just enjoyed being won over. _He_ enjoyed winning her over and thought it that pretty obvious. Either way, her departure, alongside a couple scientists to work under their orders — Peridot had been particularly happy about that part, — Diamond made his way to his mother's quarters.

The pink decorations were too much, he always thought. Even though he'd been wearing the pink suit since talking to Greg all those weeks ago, something about the shade of pink Homeworld produced never appealed to him. But maybe it would put him in the right state of mind.

He hadn't come here in years. When he felt the slight pull of nostalgia tugging at his heart, he knew he was ready.

The Pebbles immediately ran forward, happy to see their master. Hopefully this would work.

"I need my bed." He said, as soon as they got close enough.

The helping Gems nodded in unison, running towards a wall. The wall itself opened into another chamber. Pink Diamond's sleeping quarters.

Gems needed absolutely no sleep, of course. They got their energy from their Gemstones and were completely self-sufficient. But sleep had another role in their lives. Sleeping usually made it easier to scour their minds for information, to meditate on matters by closing oneself off to the rest of the world. An inexperienced Gem could even leave her mind open to attacks in this state.

Thanks to Steven, Diamond was not inexperienced with the art of sleeping.

The bed was made when he got there. The Pebbles probably made the bed every single day, regardless of the fact Pink Diamond hadn't shown up in five thousand-something years. If only everyone in the Empire could do their jobs like these little guys.

He laid down on the bed, feeling the fluffy fabrics and comfortable textures soothe him. This had better work.

* * *

Diamond wasn't exactly sure of what he would find, but he didn't expect the Void.

Of course, if he thought about it, it made sense. There was no reason for his mind to take any shape other than pure light, reflecting everywhere. He felt lightheaded, like he was slightly drunk. Like that one time Lars had sneaked in some wine from his parents and let him drink far too much of it. Everything made sense in a sort of obvious, ethereal way.

He could see a prism of light, from where four different colors emanated in harmony. Diamond could guess what that represented, but it wasn't what he was there for.

"Steven?" Diamond said, surprised there was an echo effect inside his head. "Steven, it's me. I came to talk."

At first, nothing. Then the Void opened below him, a chasm swallowing Diamond whole like an angry beast. He couldn't float away, he couldn't summon his shield, he could do nothing but fall in complete darkness.

From below him, there was light. Warm, pink light, but not like in the Light. The Light could only produce cold and calculated results in exact measures. Like a well-oiled machine, it had no time for chaos. This was all over the place, and it seemed to not mind itself.

Eventually, all Diamond could see and feel was the warm embrace of the strange light. When he finally landed, the ground beneath him felt soft, fluffy and nostalgic.

He was in Rose's room.

It finally made sense why Diamond hadn't sensed the boy for a while. He had probably come here to rest. A little piece of the Void where Steven controlled more than absolutely nothing.

It was still as idyllic and peaceful as ever. The clouds seemed to emit a strange kind of static, almost like a hum meant to calm and relax the listener. He found it distracting. Additionally, he noticed that the floor had large puddles of water everywhere.

The water was pink, as well, and its origin was not obvious. Diamond wondered if the static didn't sound like waves.

"Room, what is the nature of your existence?"

A small light emanated from his feet, answering his question with the soothing tone of Rose Quartz: _I exist for my master._

"I want to talk to Steven."

The sounds of waves stopped. It was replaced with a faint buzz that reminded Diamond of rain. The buzzing seemed distant, but also like it was getting closer.

He realized, eventually, that the clouds were gaining mass and growing darker. They were a faint shade of pink darker than the rest, moving in a pattern. They swarmed Diamond, and he realized they hurt.

It was like a sandstorm. Insignificant little crystals mounted together into something that was now assaulting his body from all angles; for what, he couldn't tell. But it didn't seem to be targeting him. Just prickling at his skin.

The darker, almost red clouds gathered in front of him, gaining shape. As dramatic as the whole thing looked, he wasn't surprised when the shape of Steven started to become more distinct.

Steven floated above him, with a stern, judgmental look unbecoming of him. Diamond didn't care.

"I come in peace." The Gem said, raising his arms.

"I know why you're here, Diamond. I've been learning how to use this place." Steven replied, falling slowly to Diamond's eye level. "Who knows, maybe I'll even be able to take over, and end this nightmare."

Diamond was taken aback by his human side's demeanor.

"You're upset."

"Upset? I'm _livid_." His body language was familiar. It was like he was about to jump Diamond. " _We_ 've existed like this for a couple of weeks, and you've already shattered someone, hurt Connie's feelings, and now you're using Earth Gems for your plans!"

"I shattered no one, and I _asked_ for their help. What else do you expect me to do? If I _wanted_ to, I could have just mind-controlled them, but I refuse to do so." Diamond didn't get upset easily, but something about Steven brought the worst out of him. "Bismuth, Peridot, Lapis, they're all helping me because they want to."

"They're helping you because you're manipulating them!" Steven yelled, gesturing at clouds with his hands.

The fluffy texture began to take shape, turning into voiceless versions of the Gems they were talking about. Diamond couldn't decide if this was just a show of power, or if that's just how the place reacted to Steven's emotions being so exposed.

"Do you think I can't tell what you're doing?!"

"What _am_ I doing, Steven?" It was Diamond's time to raise his voice. "What am I doing that's so wrong?"

"You're acting like _mom_!"

Diamond had predicted that Steven would have been upset. He had predicted that Steven might shout at him, accuse him, call him names maybe. But that was… a step too far, from the boy's perspective. And the Gem might be the only one who knew exactly how much Steven despised saying that.

"Surely you don't—"

"Yes, I do! God, I just— do you think I'm stupid?! You're made from every Diamond at once, so that means you're her, too! You're just… you're doing what she did to Pearl! What she did to the Crystal Gems! What she did to my _dad_!"

Diamond didn't reply. He didn't know how to. So Steven continued.

"Everything you do is for your own good, even the things that make people feel better! Everything you do for Gems is because _you_ feel good when you do it! Just like mom! She only did what she wanted, when she wanted! The fact that she started to feel good when other people benefited wasn't the point, it was a happy accident!"

The entire Room was a scary mess of lightning, violent winds and the same loud buzzing that had announced Steven's entrance. Diamond started to think this had been a miscalculation. The boy clearly had a lot more power than before.

"I don't want to be like my mom!" Steven shouted over the winds, his teeth showing. "I don't want to treat people like that, but you made me do it! Everyone thinks I'm you!"

"You _are_ me! We're the same person now!"

"Stop SAYING THAT!"

The scream made the clouds dissipate, as if it had been bottling up for a while now. The environment was still violently chaotic, but Diamond realized the buzzing had gone softer. Not back to waves, but he could tell something had been subsided.

"I don't want to be like her, either, Steven."

"You're lying."

"Steven—"

The human turned his head away from Diamond, who, for the first time in his short life, felt completely rejected.

"Now _you're_ acting like our mother." The Gem whispered, something he wasn't used to. Not silently enough to escape Steven, of course. But for once in his life, it hadn't been on purpose.

"What did you say?" Lightning, thunder, harsh winds. "Did you just—"

"I said," Diamond stepped forward, pushing Steven slightly back. "That you sound like Rose, too. You're judging me because I don't agree to your version of the world."

"That's nothing like her! I'm nothing like Rose! You— you're _literally_ a Diamond! You have her Gem, you…"

Steven stopped himself when he realized that was not true. Rose's Gemstone had been absorbed into another a long time ago.

"Are you going to act like you're not doing what she did to Spinel?" Diamond asked, to Steven's shock. "First you pretend to be okay with me, then after a while you start thinking that maybe this wasn't worth your time. That maybe you should figure out a way to eliminate me from your life."

"That's _so_ not fair! Mom left Spinel alone for thousands of years because she got _bored_! I'm not gonna do that to you!"

"And what _are_ you going to do to me, Steven?" Diamond finally had enough. He was yelling as loud as Steven. "You started this talk saying you're going to _end this nightmare_ , what does that _mean_? Are you going to _kill_ me?"

"No!"

"Then what?!"

"I don't know! I just… I don't want to be you! You're horrible! You hurt people who disagree with you, and then you just use them later when you see fit!"

"You have an island of watermelons who look like you!" Diamond poked his chest, making him float away. "You have hundreds of Gems who will drop anything to die for you, on command! You dismantled an entire intergalactic empire and left _nothing_ in its place! You got there through charisma, and through your beliefs, and doing what _I'm_ doing!"

"I helped people because it's the right thing to do!"

"What I'm doing _is_ the right thing to do!"

Steven and Diamond had moved so close to each other while yelling, they were practically touching. They became suddenly aware of that, and separated, somewhat ashamed. Both felt like they were acting like children, to some extent. For a while, they just stood apart, cooling off from their frustrations.

Diamond sighed heavily. This wasn't how he imagined this conversation going.

"Steven, you said you knew what I came to talk about. Was that true?"

Steven blushed. "No, I'm just… really mad at you. I still am."

The clouds were still ugly, but somehow in a more… subdued way. No more lightning, from what Diamond could tell. Steven continued.

"Diamond, look, I'm just… what's your goal, here?" Steven floated up to him again, this time much more approachable. "We can both yell at each other all day, but… I still want to talk the problem out, somehow. I just don't know what _it is_. If I don't know what you're really aiming for, all I have is how I feel."

"I don't think there's anything to talk about. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong—"

"But what _are_ you doing?" Steven interrupted, as gently as his state allowed. "Like, fine, you've unified Homeworld. You've made your base of operations on Earth. You've somehow managed to juggle my life and yours, but… then what?"

Diamond seemed to need a second to think on that. But it came out, eventually.

"Then every Gem in the universe will be happy. I'll make sure." Steven kept staring at him. "I'm serious. This is what this is about."

"So you're just gonna stay in your chair and micromanage the universe?" Steven crossed his arms, frowning. "Come on. There has to be something else in your mind."

"There's not. I swear. It's… all I want to do." Diamond looked at Steven, and the boy realized he was genuinely sad. "That's all I like doing. Making people happy. Making sure they have what they need to do the best they can."

A spark of genuine emotion in Diamond's eyes almost made Steven panic. A feeling of realization sunk him to the ground. Diamond raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Oh my god," Steven said, maybe to himself, maybe to Diamond. "You _are_ me."

"I tried establishing that."

"No, I… I know you said so, but it's so…" Steven stumbled on his words, his thoughts racing. "I just never thought… you really want this to work, don't you?"

Diamond made to kneel, but ultimately decided against it, and sat down on the floor. He was still at eye-level with Steven.

"Why is it so difficult to believe me? That is what I came to talk to you about. You're always waiting for me to do something bad; I can feel it. I'm not _evil_ , Steven. I just want to do right by my people. By _our_ people."

Steven looked embarrassed for a second.

"I… can tell that." He scratched the back of his head, avoiding eye contact. "It's just…"

"Hard to believe." Diamond completed.

"Yeah."

Steven sat down, too. When they were together like this, Diamond felt like Steven was his little brother. In a _very_ strange way.

"You didn't just come here to ask me that, did you?" Steven asked, fully aware of the answer.

"No, but, also, I now realize I really wanted to talk to you."

Steven didn't expect that. He blushed significantly.

"Oh, right. I… guess it's our second time talking, huh."

"Something like that." Diamond didn't have to force his smile. It felt nice. "I do need to talk business, though."

"Business." Steven sighed, clearly sad. "I don't like that. I didn't agree to any business."

"Maybe not, but I need your help."

The boy raised an eyebrow at his older counterpart.

"How? I can't go out."

Diamond looked at him with his serious politician face.

"I want to make Gemkind the greatest space-faring race of all time. I'm going to rule them from Earth, as to conserve the life you have there. But your family… I just can't deal with that by myself. I don't understand them."

He looked at the cloud figures Steven had created. Lapis, in particular, looked at him with the same expression she had after telling Connie off.

"Most Gems… call it manipulation, call it sincerity, whatever you want. I feel at home with them. But your dad, Connie, the Crystal Gems— I have no idea what I'm doing, and I don't _want_ to know any of it."

Steven shifted in his seating position. "You don't like them?"

"It's not…" Diamond held his chin in thought. His feelings on the matter _were_ kind of complex. "It's not about liking them or not. You love them; therefore, I love them, one way or the other. It's just— I'm not good at this." It was the man's turn to avoid gazes. This was a new sensation. Shame? Embarrassment? "I don't want to ruin it for you."

"Oh."

Silence.

"I… guess that checks out. I mean, you really tried connecting with my dad, and checked in on Connie, and… oh geez, I yelled at you just now."

"It is alright. I also yelled at you."

"No, I'm… I'm sorry."

"Likewise."

More silence. But _awkward_ , this time.

"I guess we're… both like mom." Said Steven, trying to come to terms with the words coming out of his mouth.

"Unfortunately. But our mother did some good things, too."

Steven stared at Diamond, unable to discern whether he was kidding or not.

"Really. She made us." Diamond smiled, warmer than he had ever been. Which was not a lot, but still noticeable.

Steven could see it too, now. They did look like brothers.

"I don't think this is all resolved, though. Some of the stuff you do is still too much." Steven said, coming off his high. "But you look like you're about to… um… how did you get here again?"

Diamond looked at his own hands. They were shimmering like waves.

"I suppose I'm about to wake up."

"Oh, you came here sleeping. That makes sense. But when will I see you again?"

Diamond got up, still smiling. He extended his hand to Steven.

"I don't know. But from now on, we do this together. I deal with Gem matters, and you deal with human matters. Deal?"

Steven didn't want to, but he still hesitated. According to everything he knew about Diamond, this looked and felt like a trap. But…

Maybe mom really had done one good thing.

"Deal."

* * *

When Diamond woke up, his week was over, and his work was done.


	10. CHAPTER 9 - Pearls of Wisdom

Zappy had hobbies, she tried telling herself. She liked dancing, singing, and all things Pearls were meant to like. Since moving to Earth, she realized she liked Pearly, too, but she wasn't sure if that counted as a hobby.

She just kept thinking about Yellow Diamond. That was most of the reason why she'd been crying ever since Steven Universe had moved to Homeworld.

She had a heavy, disgusting feeling in her stomach that it was never supposed to be like this. Something had gone terribly wrong. Zappy managed to look strong and cooperate with the Earth Gems for weeks now, but… stars, what was she without her Diamond? She never wanted to find that out. That was a horrifying thought.

Yet here she was, watching the warm summer sky, reminiscing about times when she did nothing but obey someone else. It was sick.

But… it had felt so _right_. Yellow Diamond had never hurt her. She sometimes said please, even thank you. Some Hessonites would never be caught dead with their Pearls out of their shells unless they had a job to do. Yet Yellow Diamond allowed her to do just that. To exist, to be herself. If it didn't mess up her priorities.

What would she say now that her priorities were so selfish?

"Zappy?" She heard a strange mix of cheerful and melancholic calling one of her names. Even if it was a voice very similar to her own, only one person called her that.

"Oh, it's you." Zappy said, reacting to Pink Pearl's approach.

The ballerina's cracked visage always disturbed Yellow. The other seemed to not care, or maybe feel that it was a sign of strength. Zappy thought it was a sign of horrible violence. It made her deeply uncomfortable.

"What do you want?" She didn't have time for this. Couldn't Pink see that she was brooding? "I thought you weren't out of bed yet."

"Oh, that's very silly. I am old, not retired." Captain Pearl approached.

Ever since she came back from Inbix, Captain Pearl had been odd. Not that the she had ever been particularly _normal_ in comparison to other royal Pearls — Zappy always thought her penchant for butting into people's business was abnormal, for one, and had been somewhat glad when White's control over her impeded that impulse, — but she had been incredibly engaged with others during her recovery. Zappy had lost count of how many Gems in Little Homeworld had come into their house just to talk to Pink Pearl since she woke up.

Her new smile bothered Zappy a lot. Small and witty, but also motherly and kind. It was like a fact of the universe that Captain Pearl smiled, now. Zappy didn't get it.

"I just wanted to check in on how you were doing." The pink one said, good-humored.

"Fine."

Captain Pearl, bless her heart, stayed determined. She sat down by Zappy's side, watching the stars above. Zappy never consented to this activity, but it didn't seem to bother the other one.

"Are you looking for Homeworld?" She asked, kindly. Captain elegantly pointed at a star, just like any other, but without an ounce of doubt. "There it is."

"I know where it is. Every Gem knows." Zappy just wanted to be alone.

"mhm." Captain hummed to herself all the time. Like a music box. "I could call Blue Pearl here."

"No!" Zappy panicked, finally looking at her visitor. "Don't call Pearly!"

"Hmm?" She hummed again, this time a bit _too_ sweet. Almost smug. "Pearly, is it. I thought you didn't like our new names."

"I… I-I don't like mine, but hers fits." Save it, Zappy, you can do this girl.

"I rather like mine. A Pearl, a captain! Imagine what they would say in Homeworld."

She clapped her hands in delight, but Zappy was too busy being flustered to think about it. Captain looked back at her, smiling.

And then, suddenly, Captain Pearl playfully poked her. The breach of her personal space startled her enough that Zappy almost brought her weapon out.

" _What!_ " She yelled, surprised.

"You remind me of myself, you know." Pink Pearl said, seemingly oblivious.

"Yes, we're Pearls." Zappy said, still uncomfortable. "We're very similar."

She stilted a polite, but genuine laugh.

"No, silly. I mean how you can't let go of Your Diamond, either."

Zappy knew Captain meant no harm by it. But the fast, direct and nonchalant way that she had put it… she wasn't ready, is what she told herself.

At least, that's how she justified slapping the other in the face.

"Hmm." Her marked sister touched her own cheek, not in pain, but inquisitive. Like she was fitting a piece of a puzzle on her head. "Did I say something wrong?"

"How _dare_ you!" Yellow screamed, fighting back tears.

Her hand burned with pain, and her cheeks were starting to feel hot with regret. That had been unnecessary, but this was how things were going to go now. She had to commit.

"Why would you say something like that?!"

"Why, it's true, isn't it?" Captain turned to sit towards her, sitting on top of her own legs like a princess. "You're in a better place, building new relationships, yet you can't seem to fathom a world without Yellow Diamond. It's crushing, suffocating — like everything is falling apart for you, yet everyone seems happier."

The whole description felt too eerily specific to ignore, but Zappy didn't have the mental fortitude to point that out.

"Stop it."

"It bothers you that everyone seems happier, no?" The smile never receded.

How could anyone say these things without sounding mean? How did she still sound like she was genuinely concerned?

If she really thought about it, Zappy probably just had anger issues. Her mind easily turned red with rage, and the world seemed to function in slow motion. When she closed her fist, it wasn't even that big a deal in her head. This other Pearl was making her uncomfortable, so she was going to hurt her until she stopped. Like Yellow Diamond said she could.

So when Captain Pearl, still sitting down, casually blocked her punch with her bare hands, Zappy had to face the cold reality that she was just going with instinct, and really didn't have any plans for what to do next.

"Stop talking!" She decided yelling was the best course of action.

Pink Pearl's functioning eye seemed to exude a mix of curiosity and genuine concern. Catharsis should have settled in, by now. She knew Zappy was close. Maybe her former co-worker had changed in the last eight thousand years.

A new tactic was in order.

"Hey, what are you—" Zappy didn't have time to finish her thought.

Captain Pearl released her hand only to pull her wrist and bring her whole body closer. In an extremely confusing second, Zappy had her head within Pink Pearl's bosom, and could feel her peer's fingers playing with her hair. This was a hug. She was being hugged.

"There, there." Said Pink, almost verbatim what her Diamond liked to hear sometimes. "I know it's no good, but it's going to be fine. We'll take care of everything. One thing at a time."

"H-hey…" Yellow whispered, but she couldn't fight the tears anymore. "I don't— this isn't okay, I didn't—"

Captain could hear her, but she could also feel her yellow counterpart relaxing, her body losing restraint and embracing candor. She could also feel her own outfit becoming soaked on the poor girl's tears. Eventually, she felt Zappy hugging her back, and knew that she'd done things correctly.

Captain allowed her friend to let it all out. It first began with a couple tears, and then sobs. It never quite developed into wailing, but she was still being loud, all things considered. Pink Pearl knew a thing or two about crying, and this felt like it could be a good cry.

"It's not easy, right?" She said, eventually, when it felt like Yellow had gone through most of it.

Zappy huffed and sniffed, her head resting on Pink's legs.

"N-no one… no one seems to miss her now that she's gone. It's like I'm going insane."

Captain Pearl, the local authority in all Diamond-related complicated feelings, kept playing with Yellow's hair for a while. She knew it felt good. She hadn't had something like that done to her in a long time, and Pink missed it every day.

"No one else? How is Pearly taking the loss of Blue Diamond?" Her whispers were like a bass line, grave but pleasant.

"She's fine." Yellow groaned, trying to fight against an uncomfortable feeling in her heart. "She's sad, but she's… she's well. Sometimes I think she's happier like this."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's…" Stars, it felt so weird to just let the tears flow. They kept hitting Pink Pearl's legs, and Yellow _knew_ she was being a bother, but— "I don't think she liked Blue Diamond. Not like I liked my Diamond. She says… horrible things about what Blue Diamond used to do to her court."

"The shatterings?"

"More than that."

She never asked more, because Pearly would start shaking every time. The blue Gem didn't show her feelings very often, but she was stronger than most people made her out to be. So Zappy always backed off. If it was enough to overwhelm Pearly, she didn't want to know.

"She told me, now that Blue is gone, the good parts are starting to fade away. And the bad parts are starting to become more obvious."

"Hmm…" Pink Pearl ventured her finger onto Yellow neck, who realized she really liked all of this, and wondered why no one ever tried to make her feel this comfortable. With a tender smile, she continued. "And what about you? Yellow Diamond was famous for being ruthless… you must have seen some nasty things."

"I did." Her voice came out harder than she intended. Her entire body hardened, in fact. Pink Pearl stopped playing with her. "Sometimes."

Zappy got up, sitting straight again. She hugged her own knees and looked at the ground as if that was the only thing in front of her.

"When Yellow Diamond got really upset, sometimes I would only realize what was going on when I reformed."

Yellow Pearl realized she had never talked about this to anyone. It felt wrong.

"I don't think I was ever the target, but her aura was so overwhelming… I was always so close. But she always apologized to me."

She couldn't look at Pink Pearl right now. She realized that if she did, she'd have to look at her scar.

"It was always an accident. It didn't happen that often. Just… I-I mean, I shouldn't have been there, right? I know that. I could tell when she was about to have an… an episode."

No one knew who had given Pink Pearl that scar. Everyone assumed it was White Diamond, but… something about that timeline felt off. The fact that she had a scar was oddly unnerving for Zappy. Maybe because sometimes, she wondered why _she_ didn't have one, herself.

"Yellow Diamond always made sure I had all I wanted. I even had subjects, from time to time."

She couldn't help but smile. Yellow Diamond during her best days was polite. Pleasant. Never loving, but she had this air about her— interest, or perhaps even a propensity to care.

"And sometimes she had to make an example out of people. Always by the books. Never for fun or in a fit of rage, like…"

"Like Blue?"

"Yeah. I-I mean, sometimes she was mad and took it out on whoever she thought— um, _knew_ was guilty, but… I… I don't know. It's weird to think about it."

Yellow heard some Bismuths laughing with each other once, 'trash-talking their bosses' as one of them put it. They asked if Pearl wanted to join. At the time, she wanted to have them harvested. But what was she doing now? Reminiscing about the times her Diamond almost shattered her in an accident like she… she…

"You miss her."

Again, Captain Pearl with her harpoon of truth. Zappy thought she didn't have any more tears, but here they came.

"I miss her so much." She whimpered, between sobs. "I don't care if she wasn't good to me. She was what I wanted, I felt complete—"

"And it doesn't feel right to feel that way."

She couldn't ignore it any longer. It was too uncanny. "How do you _know_ all of this?"

It was Captain Pearl's time to hesitate. Zappy could almost hear the gears turning inside her own head.

"Oh my stars. Pink too…? It's _all_ of them?"

Pink Pearl blushed, in her own colors. Her now embarrassed smile didn't fit the conversation. It's like she was embarrassed for someone else.

"I suppose it sounds like it."

Zappy felt like throwing up, and she hadn't had food in thousands of years.

"They… we were their playthings."

"Now, now, I don't think it's _that_ bad—"

"Pearl!" Yellow exclaimed, feeling like she was about to lose her mind. "You don't get to say something that after… this! I can't believe— Pink _did this_ to you?"

The smile turned into a light scowl, like this hadn't been the intended path. Pearls were meant to be happy and carefree, but also professional enough to keep everything working. Zappy's thoughts were a mess.

"It is as you said." Captain said, finally, with a different tone than before. "It was never on purpose."

Zappy had no words. Everything felt fake. All this time, and it wasn't just her. They could have always talked about it. But…

"Oof!" Pink Pearl wasn't expecting Zappy's hug to be that strong or sudden. A woman of extremes, indeed. "Back for more?"

She tried joking, but then heard that Zappy was crying again.

"All this time and you never said anything?" The yellow Gem asked, pulling back to stare right into Pink's eyes. She wasn't very used to intense eye contact, but it wasn't bad. "You've been out of White's influence for years! We worked together!"

"It would be unbecoming of me to bother anyone with it." The smile was back, the slight arc on her eyebrow, the expression of _oh, well, it is what it is_. Zappy had never seen a mirror look so horrifyingly alive. "It was never that big of a problem for me."

"I don't like how you think about yourself."

Zappy didn't know why she chose those words, besides them being their feelings. Captain looked slightly surprised at the bluntness of her friend, but not offended. She simply played with the hair behind her ear and smiled.

"Likewise."

It was Yellow Pearl's time to blush and be silent for a second. Pink Pearl didn't seem to want to do much, either. They just kept looking at the stars. Unbeknownst to one another, both ignored the shining star of Homeworld.

"What do we do now?" Zappy finally asked, nervous.

"I suppose move on." It was incredible how Pink was still smiling. After all this, she looked fine. Relaxed even. "Live better. Make new connections."

"Right." Zappy said to herself, unsure of what it meant. "I… guess I can try that. Captain."

Pink's eyebrow went up in gleeful surprise.

"Oh! It sounds so good when you say it. But you must say it like a rough man of the sea! Just the first syllable—"

"I'm not doing that."

"Hmm. Very well. Captain Pearl it is, then." Her smile grew bigger. Zappy coughed a laugh out, incapable of not smiling along.

Maybe it was going to be okay.

* * *

Bismuth's company worked fast. Diamond didn't expect the building to be ready by the time he got back. It had only been a night.

It was relatively small. About the size of the warp chamber. It looked like an igloo and carried the diamond shield that he was hoping to replace the four-diamonds-in-one lozenge with. Made in white stone, like it grew from its sand bed.

The inside was all Peridot's work. He gave each of them all the resources that could be beamed from Homeworld. The soon-to-be-properly-labeled workstation had every single one of its walls fitted with screens, wires, computers and basically everything Steven needed to make decisions, look up data, and just to look technologically advanced, as far as he could tell. And in the middle of it all there was his throne.

They managed to get it delivered and interfaced with every computer. It wasn't a throne room, but it would do. Its lack of beauty and grandiose would be balanced by its usefulness, he thought.

Steven hadn't flared up since they talked, but he figured there was somewhat of an understanding.

"Alright." Said Diamond, trying to relax. This still wasn't ideal, but it would have to do. "First day of the rest of Era 3, third try."

He closed the door behind him and sat down. There was so much illumination coming from multiple Gem batteries that he could probably just get tanned by being inside there for long enough. It was big enough that it didn't feel claustrophobic, and he had the option to open windows that he would absolutely never use.

Diamond took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and felt himself slump slightly on his chair. Maybe it was going to be okay.

He pressed a button on the arm rest, and a holographic interface showed up before him.

* * *

Garnet watched the new construction from afar. Her mind was a mess, so her body was completely still. More still than the trees and the windless ocean behind her. Everything was so confusing and novel, but in the worst ways possible.

She hadn't felt this uncomfortable about fusion in a long time.

Ever since White had fused with Steven, Garnet had been taken over by inner turmoil. Her individual parts were both almost grieving for the apparent loss of their adopted son, and the sum of them was simply trying to do her best, helping with whatever she could, and distracting herself from the problem at hand. Steven wanted to do this by himself, so it was only fair that she let him.

This was different. It took her a long time to accept it, but she couldn't pretend anymore. Diamond was not Steven. There was much familiar about Diamond, but fundamental differences that she couldn't deny were there.

But Garnet could see it in his eyes. The eyes Blue would get when looking at her court, like they were less than herself. The gaze Yellow used to have when she was about to give out orders; a leader by design, nothing personal getting in her way.

And that awful smile White used to give to everyone when she left her tower. Never reaching her eyes, never deforming her face. Completely and utterly hollow.

Yet they were fine. Still whole, still safe. No attempts to take over, no attacks, _nothing_. If this was everything the Diamonds were, then the collective objective of every existing Diamond eluded her. And that scared Garnet more than anything.

Her future vision was useless. This was so off the main path. She was only getting random visions of the future. Death and destruction, love and happiness, with seemingly no connective tissue between any of them. But one thing was for sure; none had Steven in it. Not her Steven, at least.

Maybe it was time she interfered.

* * *

Amethyst figured she'd just be hanging out with the Jaspers for a while, then going back home. Just some talk, some jokes, some roughing up, and then right on to eat garbage. But then she saw how they were all acting.

Jaspers weren't bad. They were comparable to Amethysts when you got down to it – a lot of them came from the same kinds of planets, so there was a sense of comradery that they shared with all the Quartzes. When one of them arrived at a group, if they weren't on a mission, things usually went fine. Little awkward at first, but they were sisters of battle, and things got pretty relaxed after a while.

But there was a major difference between most Jaspers and Amethysts. Peridot explained it to her once, completely unprompted. Basically, you made Amethysts to get jobs done. To have ground soldiers who could handle their own in a battlefield, and keep the war going. _Jaspers_ were made to win wars. They were made to be battalions' worth of power in one Gem. To turn the tide of battle and inspire confidence in their troops.

These Jaspers were terrified.

They were stone-cold on the outside, but Amethyst could tell. Shifty looks, tense formations, no talks of any kind… they feared their superior. Steven, that is.

"Yo," Amethyst tried, following a Jasper during a break. "So uh, whatcha girls do for fun around here?"

The response came delayed. The Jasper was hauling to get out of her post, trying to cover as much ground as possible without spin dashing.

"Uhh… not much." She said, sounding tired. "Just work, I guess."

"Riiight, right right."

A squadron of Jaspers holding down the fort. Not only was it rare to see so many high-quality Jaspers in the same place, it was weird to give them the same idle job. Steven could take care of himself. This was a weird show of power.

"What's up with this place, anyway? I only see big Gems coming in and out to talk. There's never like… _anything_ happening in the castle."

No response. This probing thing was hard, how did TV detectives do it? There was _clearly_ something wrong, she just had to find a way to…

"You uh, you know Steven Universe?" The Jasper asked, after sitting down. Amethyst blinked twice, and just figured luck is luck.

"Yeah! Me and Steven go way back."

The color seemed to drain from the Jasper's face. Amethyst could see the drops of sweat forming around her head.

"You don't like him much?" Amethyst asked, not meaning much by it.

"No! I mean, yes! I mean, I like him! I like him a lot!" The panic in her voice would have been comical in any other situation, but it slightly disturbed Amethyst. She'd seen people react like that to a lot of folks, but not to Steven. "It's just, I…"

She didn't finish her sentence. The Jasper pursed her lips and tried avoiding eye contact with Amethyst. This had started as a regular conversation, but at that point, she was worried.

"Hey, come on. I'm not a snitch. You can tell me—" She tried lightening the mood by touching the Jasper's arm, but the physical contact made the warrior startle, pushing back. "Hey! What gives?"

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Jasper got up, upset. She marched back to her post, leaving Amethyst alone and confused.

Something was going on and it was serious. She couldn't even imagine what, but whatever's enough to get an elite Jasper spooked like that couldn't be good. And Steven was involved…? Maybe she could just ask him…?

The sight of the fully armored Jasper marching towards the castle convinced her that he probably wouldn't answer. If only there was someone, anyone she knew who stuck around Homeworld instead of Earth yet was fully loyal to Steven and his well-being.

* * *

Amethyst arrived at the Garden without a shred of hope in her plan, but it's not like she was doing anything that day.

"Heeey! Spinel!" She yelled. "Nobody knew where you were at the castle, so I figured I'd look here!"

She stopped, thinking about it for a second. "That's kinda messed up, actually." And then, more yelling. "Sorry!"

Nothing. The overgrown flora around the warp pad seemed untouched. Not that the Garden usually looked lived-in, but she expected Spinel to at least be visible, were she really there.

"You here, girl?" The Gem walked out of the crystal and started to look behind trees, rocks and other random objects she assumed had worked, at some point. "I just wanna talk! Seems like it's everything we've been doing at this point. I miss fighting, but this is kinda cool!"

The joke decorated the stale air, dissipating like it had never been told. Amethyst had been _sure_ —

Then she heard the crying.

"Spinel? That you?" She asked, following the sound. It was coming from below some stairs, but there was nothing there. Like an echo she wasn't sure happened. "What?"

Suddenly, pink arms wrapped around her body and squeezed her out of air. She was trapped in a massive bear hug and being pulled to a direction she couldn't follow, and it hurt way more than she remembered Spinel's hugs hurting.

When she stopped moving, she was being held right over the Garden's edge. Nothing but space around her. Spinel finally came into her field of view, her face irate.

"Are you with Diamond? Are you here to get me?" Yelled Spinel, upset. "Spit it, blueberry!"

"Whoa, whoa! Hang on dude!" Amethyst stuttered, trying to compose herself. "I'm not here for anyone! I just came to talk!"

"Then how did you know I was here?!" Her grip tightened. Amethyst couldn't even breathe.

"It's the Garden! Where else would I look? My kindergarten?!"

Spinel's expression went from raging to a confused, and kind of embarrassed look of resignation. Finally, she closed her eyes in annoyance.

"Ugh. Fine." Amethyst was brought back to land and dropped on the floor, at which point she immediately crawled away from the Garden's edge. "Sorry, Amethyst."

It took the purple Gem a few moments to calm herself. There was literally no bigger drop than the one she'd just avoided.

"So I'm guessing you don't want me here." She finally said when she could feel her knees again. "Ya coulda just asked me out."

"I couldn't risk it. If Diamond knew I was here…"

"Dude, his name's Steven? Your best friend, remember?"

The rage came back to Spinel's eyes, but it was accompanied by something else. Hurt, fear, regret. Something extremely negative.

"That thing isn't Steven!" She shouted, overwhelmed. "It's some monster that came out of the Diamonds! Everything the Diamonds do is terrible! They took Steven away from us!"

She would have probably gone on, but she started to hyperventilate and pull at her own hair. Amethyst quickly intervened, holding her hands in the nicest way she could.

"Hey, hey, calm down, it's fine." Spinel opened her eyes, and her frenzied look made Amethyst worry even more. "What are you talking about?"

Spinel gulped. Amethyst thought she was going to cry, but she made a strange face. Like she was seeing a monster right behind her. Amethyst even looked.

"What?"

"Just… I don't like thinking about what I saw."

She let go of Spinel's arms, and the pink Gem hugged herself to keep her arms from shaking. Amethyst was extremely bad at this and realized that this had been a stupid idea that she was not ready to put into practice.

"Uh… we can like, talk. Or sing. Or whatever."

"Uh-huh." Spinel wasn't even looking at her. "It's not that I can't talk about it, I just…"

"What's the worst that can happen?" Amethyst let her more abrasive side show, putting her arm around Spinel and pulling her in. The Gem resisted at first, but sort of melted away after a while. "I'm here for you, girl."

Spinel freed herself, but then instead of straightening her back, she just let herself fall to the ground. She then sat up, hugging her legs close to her chest.

"Gosh, why am I always like this." Spinel said to herself. "I'm made to make people happy, but I'm always such a downer."

"Come on, that's not fair. You've been through a lot."

"I just… there's no way you're gonna leave this place happier. That still messes me up." At that point, Spinel started to tear up, her voice cracking under the weight of her feelings. "I-I always wonder if she left because of that. I know I stopped making Pink happy, but… to think I was making her _sad_ , it always— what if, what if I had managed to stop her?"

Amethyst didn't answer at first. The idea was bizarre to even think about.

"You mean, stop her from coming to Earth?"

"Y-yeah. I… know you liked her, but if she hadn't… if I had been better, she'd just… be here, and we'd been playing, and Steven…"

Spinel broke down, hiccupping her way through incomprehensible speech. Not that Amethyst hadn't expected something like that, but this was still…

"Hey, seriously, I don't think that's… you couldn't have _stopped_ her, dude. She loved the Earth more than anything."

"But look at what it caused." She pointed out the rest of the garden, unkept and filthy. "She's gone, and the only thing that's left of her is this stupid island."

"Steven's still around, ya know."

She stopped crying. Amethyst finally figured out why this was so weird. Spinel didn't look sad, she looked _numb_.

"I don't think so."

"Tell me why, then."

"You'll hate it."

"Try me."

Spinel told Amethyst what she saw. The information flowed from her in irregular chunks, sometimes very detailed, sometimes cursory. She had no idea what it was leading up to.

By the time she said she watched Lapis and Steven fighting the Jaspers, Amethyst assumed she'd end with an accident, or something like Jasper's new, horrible attempt at gaining more power. But none of that could really justify her reaction. Nothing could be that bad.

And then it was worse.


	11. CHAPTER 10 - Camp Pine Hearts' Worst Season

_So far so good._

Diamond found strange a satisfaction in being able to just press buttons and make decisions. It was an immense waste of resources to have to do this from Earth, but it was working fine. If his court in Homeworld did things perfectly, he had all the information he needed right there, at the tip of his fingers, in at least twenty monitors.

His inner Light kept adjusting to deal with the different aspects of the empire, and he could occasionally feel a sudden surge of empathy for his minions that altered his decisions slightly. Just enough that he could still agree with it. At this rate, he might make some progress happen. In the future, he could plan to leave for missions, to reach out to specific worlds, and show up on Homeworld to raise morale.

But… aside from being inconvenient, this was good. This was acceptable.

And then the door opened.

"Steven?" Sung Pearl, with a plate of pancakes on hand. "I saw you left home without eating anything, so I took the liberty of making you some breakfast!"

The sugary smell of pancakes, raspberries, bananas and syrup filled the air, and broke his focus. He almost authorized the demolition of important mines in Quangaron-IV. Annoyed, he put the hologram away.

"Thank you, Pearl, but I'm not hungry."

"But Steven, it's the afternoon." She walked in, uninvited, and Diamond fought the desire to be rude to her. "You've been at it all day now. And what's this…?"

She finally looked at all the monitors, and he realized he was _dreading_ the possibility of her asking what each one of them were. She wouldn't get it, right…?

He felt Steven inside him not enjoying that line of thought. He was probably being too mean.

"It's all of the Gem Empire's finances, data and margins. I'm handling everything from now on." He said, trying to be as succinct as possible.

"Oh, look at you." She reached out to him, and Diamond struggled to not be shocked and appalled when she pet his giant mane of hair. "I can't believe you're actually doing this! Steven, I am _so proud_."

"Yes, I'm doing it. Right now." She put the plate on the table that he had made specifically for documents, and _not_ for food. He didn't even need food. "Anything I can help you with? I'm still working."

"Oh." That seemed to take her by surprise. "I suppose not, I just came to see how you were. Also, Sadie asked if you wanted to go on a rodeo trip later."

"A _what_?"

"A rodeo trip? I believe that's what she texted…" Pearl took out her phone, at which point Diamond realized she never muted the device sounds. Every click and ping grated on his head like a rock. "Ohohoh! Silly me, it's a _road_ trip. Gosh, that makes so much more sense."

" _Yes_ , Pearl, it does." _I'm not going to say anything, Steven, don't worry._ "I will talk to them once I'm finished here."

" _mhm_ , and when will that be?" She smiled and posed adorably, with her hands behind her back. He couldn't deny it was a fair question. "You lost your phone, so it's been somewhat hard getting a hold of you."

"Right, the phone." He smashed it. The ringtone annoyed him. It felt useless. "I'll tell you when I get a new one."

He started to reach out for the holographic interface again, in hopes that would give Pearl a sign that she was done there. Gosh, had this been anyone in his council, he could have just asked her to leave.

Pearl smiled some more, but eventually she took a hint.

"Well, let me know if you need anything, I hope you enjoy your breakfast." And then _for some reason_ , she turned around and sang her way out, holding a note until the door closed.

Diamond had never hated music more in his entire month-long life.

He took a deep breath, and figured it was over. The breakfast dish was getting colder on his side, with the fork dangling dangerously close to his instruments. A disposal hole opened by his side, and he felt compelled to throw the entire dish out.

She'd probably think it was weird that he ate the plate, too. Human relationships were so complicated. Could he take a nap and talk to Steven, maybe? Perhaps he could shed some light in how to tell Pearl to never bother him while working… or…

Bah. Problems for later. Now he could finally—

"Hi, Steven!" Lapis said, opening the darned door, Peridot following right behind. "Just coming in to see how you were doing!"

"Also just wanted to see this baby in action." Added the green one, with starry eyes. "Oh, it's _beautiful_."

They both walked in like they owned the place. Now that every decision was being made electronically, Diamond realized how much he despised it when people took his focus away. This would happen if he was just talking to people, he could just try to ignore them…

"How's the Homeworld feed working out?" Peridot approached, standing right by his throne. The problem wasn't that she was too close, but if she was going to stay there, he couldn't see some of the screens…

Diamond could feel his blood pressure going up.

"It's good. I need nothing else."

Raising his Pink as high as he could was only making him feel like manipulating everything to serve his whims, and that wasn't helping. Which… typical Pink, he had to admit.

"Thank you for checking on me, but everything is fine, I will send for you if I need to."

Lapis and Peridot stared back at him, clearly distraught.

_How was that too much. How could that possibly be too much._

"Um, sorry." Peridot mumbled, looking down. "Just, you know, wanted to see if the massive, schedule-disrupting project you commissioned actually worked. My bad."

He didn't need Steven to feel a sting of embarrassment at having that pointed out. But Steven did flare up, he could feel it. There was no dissociation this time. It was just a feeling that he had something to say, but the controls were still with him.

"I'm sorry, you two."

Something about his voice felt different. It was like when he wanted to act like Pink, but far less self-interested. Still the same sort of feeling, just definitely different.

"I'm under a lot of pressure, and I'm still adapting to this. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

He thought he could almost taste the words. Sweet and sincere, but also fully aware that he was getting what he wanted. And it _worked_ , too— Peridot and Lapis' expressions softened, their tense shoulders relaxed, and their body language changed completely.

"No, it's okay Steven, we get it." Said Lapis, approaching Peridot and holding her shoulder. "We should have called or something. Do you want to do anything once you're done? I think it's gonna be a pretty night. No clouds or anything. We could go flying."

"I'll let you know about it later, then."

She nodded and half pushed, half accompanied Peridot out of the room, who didn't have much to say. When the door closed, Diamond felt Steven's empathy going back into whatever container he was storing it.

"I admit the difference between your feelings and Pink Diamond's still eludes me somewhat, but it's clearly worth exploring." He said out loud, hoping Steven was listening in. "Still, so many interruptions… this is not ideal."

He didn't realize he had taken the fork and started to split the pancakes until a piece was hovering in front of his mouth. Apparently, Steven wanted him to eat just enough that he managed to influence that little task.

"Hm. You can do that, now?" The question sounded more like an accusation than a harmless check. But there was nothing he could do about it. Diamond ate the pancakes his mom made him, like a big man.

Not bad. Too much sugar, though.

* * *

A lot of things made Lapis falter at this point in her life. She had a place at Bismuth's Bisness working with all the other Gems, and her experience made her excellent at the job. But that week with Steven in Homeworld… horrible, life-defining trauma aside, it had been magical.

Bismuth was busy on the other side of the store, so it was just her and Peridot for a while. Which meant it was Lapis, her feelings of inadequacy and longing, and then Peridot, who was currently a little miffed at Steven.

"I'm miffed at Steven." Said Peridot. "That wasn't very nice."

"mhm." Lapis held her head with her hand, looking at nowhere in particular.

They hadn't been back for a long time, but it already felt dull. She didn't dislike boring, safe Earth. But the excitement of taking over Homeworld, and _making_ it a safer, better place…

"You uh, have anything to say about it?" Peridot tried, frowning in confusion.

"Yeah, yeah." It was like watching paint dry, everywhere she looked.

Peridot didn't have to be a genius to realize Lapis wasn't really paying attention. That had been a theme since she got back. She would listen to half of any conversation, and then just doze off, as if daydreaming. It's not like she didn't get similar when she was working, either, but Lapis was just… standing there, seemingly unwilling to connect.

She wouldn't even make meep-morp anymore. I mean, how could she? Meep-morp was like, their thing.

"Hey Lapis," Peridot wasn't sure where she wanted that talk to go, but it felt like something she had to get around to at some point. "I've been wondering if…"

"Hm?" The blue Gem turned, as if Peridot had just arrived. She smiled at her friend. "Oh, yeah, what's up?"

"You've been kinda distant since you came back from Homeworld."

Lapis' face didn't move. Her smile stayed on like a default setting, and that disturbed Peridot more than it should. It was as if the terraformer had mentally checked out, and was somewhere else, not really bothering to think about the conversation.

"I suppose." She said, nonchalant.

"Do you… wanna talk about it?"

"About what?" Her head bopped to the side. "Homeworld was fine. And now we're back."

The scientist was so uncomfortable, she could poof. She hated confrontations. Especially with Lapis.

"It just feels like there's something you're not telling me."

Lapis played with her hair, breaking eye contact. "Oh, there's nothing to tell. What would I be hiding from you?"

"I wouldn't know. You literally haven't told me anything." Peridot crossed her arms, frowning.

With a sigh, Lapis leaned forward to focus on the conversation. "We just liberated Homeworld and took it over, nothing big happened after that. Connie went to pick us up and—"

"Wait. Liberated?"

Lapis' eyes widened as she realized what she had said.

"Liberated from what?"

"Nothing. I meant unified. We unified Homeworld."

Peridot frowned further, which got Lapis to break eye contact. The scientist decided this was weird enough to warrant exaggerating.

She calmly walked over to the front door of the shop and locked it.

"Um… Peridot? We're still open."

As a response, Peridot turned the "Open" sign to "Closed," and stared back at Lapis with her back to the door.

"What are you doing, Lapis?"

"Asking you that same question."

"You're clearly hiding something."

Lapis' expression turned to irritation. She straightened her back as if she was ready for a fight.

"I'm not hiding anything that concerns you, Peridot."

"Then what's this about _liberating_ Homeworld? Liberating it from _what_?" The green Gem approached, more curious than upset. At that point, at least. "And what's with these clothes, and what's with you not wanting to spend any time here anymore?"

"I don't… that's not true, I like it in here." She grabbed her own arm, like she was trying to occupy less space. "I'm just kinda bored, is all."

Peridot kept approaching, seemingly unafraid or unaware of any consequences this could cause. She'd seen what Lapis could do, but never thought she would do anything to her. Lapis couldn't just threaten her out.

"But we handle boredom together. We lived in a barn, we fought together, I just— why are you hiding something from me now?"

"Because it has nothing to do with you!" Lapis exclaimed, upset. "I have my own life Peridot; you're not allowed to barge into it whenever you want. If I wanted you to know, I would tell you!"

Peridot recoiled, and Lapis realized she'd gone too far. She watched her friend's body language go from hurt, to defensive, all the way to forced neutrality. Her little hands were shut, shaking in frustration.

"I thought you were done being like this." Peridot said, under her breath. Maybe she didn't know that was the worst possible thing she could tell Lapis, but either way, Lapis felt a giant hope opening in her stomach. "I thought we were actually… getting somewhere."

That part, however, brought Lapis back. That was new.

"Getting where?"

Peridot felt her face getting warmer. She refused to get worked up, even if it meant trying to hold back tears.

"It… it doesn't matter. You're right. It's your life. I'm not in it."

"Hey—"

Peridot turned around, reaching for the door.

"Tell Bismuth I called in sick."

"Peridot, we don't _get_ sick, I—"

She was interrupted by the sound of the door unlocking. She could still fix it. She could just say the right thing and have Peridot turn around. This was all a huge misunderstanding.

The door opened. Say it, Lapis. Just be truthful. Tell her about Jasper, tell her about Steven, tell her—

Peridot walked out. The door closed shut.

The silent buzz of electricity running through Gemware was the only thing filling Lapis' head. She wasn't stupid. She had clearly hurt Peridot way more than she could have expected. That "getting somewhere" business was completely new to her, and her mind was already racing through examples of why it shouldn't have been.

Stars, Peridot likes her, doesn't she? Or at least, she did. Before Lapis convinced her that she didn't consider her best friend an important part of her life.

 _But I don't_ , she thought, feeling guilty for even entertaining that. _Not like that_.

As such, Lapis thought she was at a crossroads. She could tell Bismuth she needed to go help someone, close the shop and try to make sure Peridot was okay. In her head, it was the least she could do. Love was dangerous to Gems, it made them think different, act different.

But… she could also just stay there. Let Peridot deal with it. Maybe it was better if Peridot didn't see her for a while.

Maybe it was better if she didn't see her at all.

* * *

Greg figured every Pearl came preloaded with intrinsic musical knowledge. Pearl — uh, Earth Pearl? White Pearl? Yikes, _definitely_ not. Just… Pearl, — had invited some of her newly arrived Pearl friends to join their weekly jamming session. They all had silly nicknames Amethyst had given them, but the majority seemed to like it.

Plus, as just seen, Greg didn't know if he could call them by their colors. What if it was a whole _thing_? He wasn't gonna touch that.

Pearly was masterful with strings, but terrible at anything plugged into a speaker. If the guitar wasn't inherently melodic and somber, she just lost track of what she was doing and panicked, still in her subdued way.

Zappy — actually, this one minded the name, but her opining seemed to be in flux — was surprisingly good at drums and heavier sounds. She seemed to think beating on the drums was fun, though, so Greg let her improv the whole time. The beat was being informed more by her mood than anything else.

Captain Pearl surprised him the most. She started with the triangle, but even since she'd come back, had _really_ connected with the old saxophone in the garage. Cap's saxophone was angry, sorrowful, and at times extremely hopeful, in that mystical way saxophones get to be. He was sure there was something in her that explained that, but Greg knew better than to ask directly.

So, for the time being, Greg had a very weird jazz band, with him doing a decent job at the triangle. Pearly's delicate sounds blended well with Pearl's masterful baseline, and Zappy was doing a great job controlling herself with the beat.

Their melody filled his ears. It sounded exotic, with a percussion that didn't quite make sense to him. Homeworld music. Yet this was exactly why Greg loved doing what he did. It opened people up like nothing else. Steven's thing was singing with a guitar, but with age, Greg realized the value of giving people instruments and letting them do the talking. Music has no filter.

Not much he could do with a triangle, of course, but Greg could tell this jam session was not about him. He recognized the eyes on everyone.

Zappy and Pearly looked at each other like they could just play all night long and wouldn't even notice if the others were gone. Captain was playing along, but the act of letting out those sounds was getting to her. She was playing to herself, like she just figured out a whole new language, and had so much to say. Maybe to others, to no one, to herself.

And Pearl… how far they had gotten. She was half making sure everyone knew what they were doing, and half doing her own improvisation, orderly and clean like usual. She made it look easy, but he'd jammed like that before.

It was extremely hard being in that position. To be able to let others know what they need to change, but still be in perfect control of yourself… she made it look like she had been born to do that, but he knew better.

It was the kind of spark that made him fall in love with Rose, all those years ago. This wasn't the same, but he would always find it mesmerizing.

They had been playing for over 30 minutes when Pearl called a break. Zappy integrated a countdown on her beat, and all four of them transitioned into a perfect climax, like they had played with each other for years.

"I haven't heard a performance like this in years!" Greg exclaimed. This was such a good night. "You girls are amazing!"

"I never really considered playing music just for myself before." Pearly said, incapable of extinguishing her own smile. Zappy couldn't stop staring. "But it's exhilarating. I think I would like to do more of it." She joined her hands in an adorably conservative display of happiness.

"Well, I'm glad you liked it." Pearl said, tuning her bass slightly. "Greg and I do this every week or so."

"This is a part of your _routine_?" Zappy asked, apparently surprised. "No wonder you're so happy! You get to beat on these things every week? Can you apply for extra work with them?"

She was leaning over the instrument so much, Greg wasn't surprised when she fell over. Pearly giggled as her… well, he doubted they were _just_ friends, but he wasn't putting any labels on it before hearing from them.

"Yes, I…" Captain started, blushing. "I really like this instrument. What did you call it? A telephone?"

"It's a saxophone, Captain." Said Greg, approaching her. "And if you want, you can take it home. Practice a bit. You clearly really like it."

The pink one was paralyzed with gratitude. She took a hand to her mouth like she was about to cry, but Pearl touched her on the shoulder, as if to guarantee it was okay. Captain nodded and went to clean the instrument.

"Thank you for this, Greg." Pearl said like a doting mother finally able to breathe. "We've all been through a lot. I've been looking forward to our session for what feels like an eternity now."

There was the slightest hint of stress, and maybe something heavier, on her voice. Greg knew what she meant.

He hadn't really told anyone about his reunion with Diamond yet. When it was all said and done, he realized he didn't understand anything he had seen. And then right after that, Diamond had gone to Homeworld, and then they were _all_ gone… he hadn't even had a proper chance to talk to anyone, much less in private.

"It's been a lot, huh."

From his carwash, Greg could see the temple's statue, but not Steven's new base. It saddened him to know his son wasn't using that room anymore.

"Hey, uh, how is…?"

Pearl carefully put the bass down on its usual spot, letting some of her worry show. "I don't know, Greg. He's… different now."

"Yeah. That's a way to put it. I've met with him, and it was… scary."

Pearl didn't reply right away. She held her arms as if hugging herself, and looked down to the floor, lost in thought.

"I knew he would grow up one day, and maybe outgrow us, but this is different. Sometimes it's like I don't know who he is anymore."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"I don't think he's… listening… when I talk. It's strange. I feel like I'm back in Homeworld, delivering a report to White Diamond when I talk to him. Oh, that's such a horrible thing to say, I'm sorry—"

"No, no. It's alright."

Greg approached her, like he would never do years ago. He placed a hand on her shoulder and looked directly in her eyes.

"This is really hard. You don't need to have all the answers, you're already doing the best you can."

Her frown softened a bit, and he saw the beginnings of a smile starting to form on her face.

"I just hope nothing bad happens to him." She whispered, losing herself in sorrow again. He got even closer.

"Hey, you're here for him. You'd never let anything happen to him, right? You've raised him all his life."

She giggled softly, finally looking back at him with a smile.

"Well, you're one to talk. You're his father."

"You know he's as much yours as he's mine."

It just came out like that. He didn't mean anything by it. It was just something he'd eventually come to terms with and embraced like the good thing that it was. He didn't expect Pearl to start tearing up.

"Hmm…" Captain Pearl hummed. "Would you two like privacy?"

Oh, right, strangers and mutual friends everywhere. Pearl and Greg got away from each other like the other was electrical. He had a better time hiding his blushing cheeks than she did.

"No! I mean, no, we don't! We're not! I don't!"

Pearl always did this thing where her language skills would fail her when she got really flustered, and Greg always thought it was adorable.

"Well, that was a fun session! Thank you Greg! Girls, everyone, thank Greg! And let's go! Right now!"

Greg couldn't do much but laugh. He saw Pearly inquisitively looking at him, as if asking if everything was okay. He gestured at her that it was fine. That's just how Pearl was.

He turned around to compose himself when he saw Peridot running towards the beach.

"Oh, hey." He waved at her, but realized she wasn't looking. She was also just going straight to the ocean by herself. That wasn't very common behavior.

"Is that a… Peridot?" Zappy asked, squinting her eyes. "What is she doing? There's nothing there but water."

Greg looked at the little one getting to the shore, and sitting down, holding her head like she was crying. They weren't especially close, but…

"Hey, Pearl, sorry, but if you're leaving, could you close the van and leave the key in the usual spot? I…"

"It's okay." She said, smiling. "You want me to accompany you?"

"Ah, I'm sure it's fine. I'm just worried." The underlying understanding that they shared about how things should be hadn't come for free. It made things so much easier.

Greg walked towards Peridot. He had no idea what he'd find, but surely, she was doing okay. It could just be a bad day, and he fully expected her to ask for privacy. He just didn't want anything bad to happen to any of these girls.

When he noticed her glasses were on the ground, and that she was sobbing, Greg realized that maybe that was too much to ask.

"Peridot?" He asked, trying not to make too much noise. He saw her startling a bit but didn't move otherwise. "Peridot, it's Greg."

She finally looked up, and boy, she was a mess. Greg thought about it, and this was probably the first time he'd ever seen her without a visor of some kind. Her little eyes were puffy, and her face was swollen. Her whole body looked like it was trembling.

Peridot didn't answer.

"Uh, if you'd like me to go, I can leave you alone. I just came to check up on you."

She snorted, which wasn't the most eloquent response. But eventually she went back to her other position, mumbling something like 'I don't care.' Gosh, they were all like that, huh?

"Well, then I'm gonna sit down for a while." He said, following up on his promise.

He could think of very few things that could make Peridot react like that.

They didn't talk much, and their first meeting ended with Peridot pushing him off a roof. But the girl meant no harm. She, more than the rest, felt like a weird thousands-of-years-old teenager in his head. It was probably the height difference.

She reminded him of himself, if he had to be honest. In his childhood, at least. Completely convinced that he's good at something, and utterly crushed that no one seemed to care. Just little Greg Demayo trying to sing his stupid songs.

"Rough night?" He said, finally.

The tears didn't really want to stop flowing, so she had to grumble an uninspired 'yeah' through her hiccups. She did _try_ to compose herself enough to continue, which is more than he expected.

"I just hate fighting Lapis."

"You two fought?" Maybe it was better that Pearl hadn't come. It was girl problems. This sounded like a job for Mr. Universe. "I thought you two were doing well! What happened?"

It took her a while, but she eventually explained it. But even as she narrated the events of that night, he could hear the baggage behind every word.

It wasn't a secret that Peridot felt good around Lapis. Everyone knew that. Everyone could see that. Steven had an entire journal chronicling their… what was it, boat? Sub? Greg wasn't into that as much as the kid was; he felt really weird accompanying blooming romance with that attitude.

But this wasn't what Greg had always seen. They bickered and had fights, but even those were friendly. They have both gone a long way since the first time they met and were genuinely good partners. What Peridot kept describing was…

Well, Greg recognized it. He'd been through it, back in his day.

"Wow, Peridot, that sounds really tough. I'm sorry to hear it."

She was still crying. Greg put his hand on her back to support her, and the girl just broke down further. Could Gems poof from getting too emotional? He wished he could ask someone.

"I just…" She tried, but there came the waterworks again. God, how many times did Greg do this to aliens? They loved to cry. "It's been years of this, and she still doesn't trust me."

"Come on, you can't force her to…"

"But I'm trying!" Peridot looked up at him, upset. "I tried so hard, from day one! She didn't like me, I changed. She didn't feel like staying, I made a bunch of rules and adaptations to the living space, I— I started an entire art movement for her!"

"Your meep-morp thing?"

" _Our_ meep-morp thing!"

More crying. Greg was trying his hardest to navigate Peridot.

Most Gems were easy to understand. He'd gotten burned on his first attempts to understand Rose, but they all followed a straightforward internal logic, unique to each of them. He just had to figure out what was interrupting Peridot's happiness.

She was a scientist, right? Or, at least, really smart. Meaning she probably wasn't as attuned to her feelings as the others. Lapis, on the other hand, was generally distant, except with Steven. But she had this mysterious flair that Greg had gotten infatuated with in the past, and he assumed Peridot liked that, too. Only not for purely artistic reasons, obviously.

Peridot continued, and Greg let her talk.

"Every time I feel like I can try something new with her, she just becomes a completely different person. One day she's sad, the other she's happy, next she's going to space with Steven, and then she comes back with new clothes, new hair, new everything! And I don't get to participate in that! She just… doesn't want me in."

He guessed Peridot hadn't put it all in words before. The process seemed somewhat cathartic, if painful. Still, there had to be something good to be achieved here.

"And I just don't understand. I do everything she wants. I try my best to make her stay, but she always leaves." The thought process broke her down again. "She always leaves. Stars, she left for Homeworld and didn't even _tell_ me this time. She took our house last time, what else is she gonna take?"

"Peridot." Greg tried interjecting, but she was all in.

"Is she going to take my friends too? The things I made? Why can't she just let me have _anything_ , if she won't let me have her?!"

"Peridot, calm down, you're not breathing."

"I don't need to breathe!"

"I know, but it helps." Greg put his hand on her back again. "Come on. Follow my lead. Breathe with me."

She was still hiccupping occasionally, but Peridot let Greg add some structure to her current situation. Four second breathing in, seven second breathing out. Old trick a bandmate taught him. One full minute of it. By the time they were done, she felt her chest again, and it hurt. Gems didn't need to breathe, but they were _capable_ of doing it wrong, and their bodies still contracted under stress.

"T-thanks." Peridot said, trying to get a hold of her situation. "I, um… I'm sorry about…"

"No, you have to talk about it." Greg said, turning a little more towards her. "What you were talking about happened years ago, right? When Lapis went to the Moon?"

"Yeah…"

"And you're still upset about it? Why haven't you told any of us? We could have listened to you."

Peridot hugged her knees, suddenly feeling cold. It wasn't an uncomfortable night, but something about spending all that energy crying had her spent.

"I don't know. It felt weird. I… feel a _certain way_ about Lapis, and I just figured this was like season 2."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Season 2 of Camp Pining Hearts."

"Oh, that show with the poutine kid. It's uh… about a guy named Percy?"

For a second — and really, a _second,_ — Greg was sure he saw fire behind Peridot's eyes. Some weird mix of fury, passion and excitement. It terrified him.

"It's _not_ about Percy, but… well, when Abigail and Matt are trying to form a relationship, there are steps that need to be taken, and there's struggle that needs to happen. One is supposed to not be into it, and the other one is supposed to keep insisting, and do things for them, and then save their lives in a big climatic moment so that they're together forever, and…"

She let her speech die as Greg's expression turned from confused to horrified.

"… what?"

"Peridot, that's… _television_. That's not real!"

Greg couldn't believe he had to say it out loud. Peridot was thousands of years old. Yet here he was, having a conversation even _Steven_ didn't need. And that kid was practically _raised_ by television.

"You can't base your life choices on it!"

"I didn't— I mean, I just, it's… it's good for them!"

"But it's not good for you! You're a real person, with real feelings, you, you, I— oh boy, hang on."

Greg took a deep breath. He was getting flustered over this, but it wouldn't really help. He needed to turn on Dad Mode.

"Peridot, I'm not good at Gem stuff. I don't live forever, and I don't have any superpowers."

"Typical organic." He heard her mumble but didn't mind it.

"But I've had a lot of relationships. Some good, a lot of them _bad_. The best times of my life were with a woman who looked me in the eye and told me she was planning to die so we could have a kid. I've been through a _lot_."

"Uh—"

"The one thing that's always been true for me, and everyone else, is that it's okay to let go."

Peridot stared at him as she would stare at an attacker. Something about what he was saying was shocking to her. He had to go on.

"Sometimes you really want someone to like you, but they can't. It's not their fault. No one gets to control who they love. It's just a luck of the draw kinda thing."

Her confused expression turned serene, almost passive. Like she was putting things into a puzzle that she never knew was there.

"But… I worked for it." Peridot said. "I put in the effort."

"I know. It's just… sometimes that's not the point. People aren't projects, Peridot. You can't just work on them until they're ready."

Peridot hugged her legs harder. She broke eye contact and decided to look at the ocean instead.

"That's not fair."

Greg let the silence sink a little. He knew Peridot was trying to process everything.

He'd lived on that beach for so long, and it was always so beautiful. Cool nights, warm waves, and stars everywhere. And no matter when it was, someone there always needed to talk.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

"What do I do now?" Peridot asked, looking back at him. At least she'd stopped crying. "You're telling me Lapis is never going to want… you know, _me_? Then what do I do?"

He honestly had no answer. There was nothing she could do that would make her happy, at that moment. Things like these, they just had to be washed away with time.

Sometimes Greg still thought about his previous girlfriends and wondered if there was anything he could have done to make it work. If his many breakups had been his fault, or if they just weren't meant to be. The truth was probably somewhere in-between, from both parties.

But that's not what Peridot wanted to hear. Greg wasn't even sure if she was ready to understand any of it. Relationships clearly eluded her.

"Well, I got a van full of instruments." He finally answered, hopeful. "I think music sounds great when you don't know what to do with your life."

"Really?"

"Sure!" He said, trying to force a smile and justify his life's work.

It apparently worked. Peridot got up and put her glasses back on.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt." She blushed and looked away for a moment. "Um, thank you, Greg. This means a lot."

"Oh, uh, no problem."

He let her go ahead, and realized Pearl was still there. The others were apparently gone, but she had ostensibly watched the whole thing.

Greg liked to think he could read Pearl at this point. It has been several years of spite and mutual annoyance, followed by a gradual mellowing out, into… whatever they had now. But the look on her eyes… something deep, nostalgic, and pleasant.

That was new. He liked it.


	12. CHAPTER 11 - I Am Diamond, Part 1

_Day…_ something _of the new way we do things, and counting,_ Diamond thought to himself. The problems were starting to show.

It wasn't enough to just have the numbers. The speed of light, even with warping technology, could only go so fast. His information highway was the fastest in the known universe, and there was still noticeable lag between his orders and the updates he needed to make sure they were working. It wasn't a real problem with computer communication, but for this amount of work, the system simply wasn't built for it.

He couldn't give literally every single one of his workers quantum-entangled prisms. Those were the only things that could make information sharing instantaneous, but they were so limited. Only for direct contact with Diamonds in case of emergencies.

If only Peridot hadn't destroyed Yellow's. He had a search team looking for Blue's, since White and Pink seemed to have disposed of theirs a long time ago. But even then, it was just for audiovisual messages. He needed numbers, he needed statistics.

More than that, he needed to be there. He could feel how his absence was stressing his subjects. They didn't believe the new mission as much as he wanted them to. He could hear it in their voices.

There had been more and more interruptions. Mostly Pearl. Making sure he was eating, making sure he was sleeping. He was doing none of those things, and it took a few times for Pearl to accept that. Or at least to stop complaining.

Every time she visited, he got it worse from Steven. He could feel the human disliking how he wasn't leaving his spot, how he wasn't letting anyone in, and a bunch of other things that he legitimately did not want to deal with.

This was more important. Homeworld and Gemkind came first. Before even himself. His mind was thinking about the future, when there would be less humans around him. All he had to do was hunker down, wait, and—

—the monitors turned off; their electric hum abruptly interrupted.

"What?" Diamond said out loud, utterly confused. These systems were made with a dozen different redundancies to stay up. It could survive an apocalypse. This was sabotage. "Who?"

He quickly flew towards the door, kicking it open. He hadn't been this mad in a while.

"Who dares?"

And then he immediately realized he would have to bring it down, because Garnet was staring right at him, several cables smashed up in her gauntlet.

"Hello. We're going out." Garnet said, nonchalant, crushing every cable she had in hand.

"That belongs to me!" Said Diamond, completely unaware of how juvenile he sounded. "Why would you do that?!"

"I've already asked Bismuth to come in and fix it. She'll be working for a couple days. You and I are going on a mission." Garnet threw the remains of the cables on the ground. They sparked and fried, useless. Diamond couldn't believe his eyes.

"Garnet, are you out of your mind?! That's important! I can't work without them! I have to go back to Homeworld and—" He then realized Garnet wasn't slowing down. She didn't even stop to confront him directly. She just grabbed his hand and started walking forward. "Hey, hey! Stop that!"

"I'm either dragging you by your hand, or your cape. You figure it out." She wasn't even mad. What was going on here?

Diamond stumbled and almost fell right on his face before figuring that it was much better to just follow along than to risk a fight with Garnet, of all people. He could probably beat her, but the repercussions would be much too dramatic. She was taking him to the main warp.

"Fine, what are we doing? What do you want my help with?" He tried recomposing himself. No mission was too much for his power, he figured. This would be over soon, and then he could use it as an excuse to sneak off to Homeworld.

Garnet didn't answer immediately. She let go of his hand and walked into the warp. She didn't say anything, which made him figure that she was waiting for him to step into the crystal.

"Why aren't more people coming along? Would Pearl not be better suited—"

"Pearl is not coming. You are." Her completely neutral expression didn't betray a single hint of fear, respect, or anything that Diamond was used to getting. It frustrated him to no end.

Instead of wasting his breath, he simply sighed and walked into the crystal, letting the warp take him wherever she wanted him to go.

Light flooded his vision while the tunnel took him across the stars, like data on a computer. He knew they weren't going to another planet; they'd have to take the Galaxy Warp for that. But this didn't feel like any lightway he'd ever taken before.

When the transporter stopped, he was, indeed, in an unfamiliar place.

It was some sort of tropical jungle. He could see geodes reminiscent of the Gem war around, hear animals scuttling, and feel the warm wind on his face. It was the middle of the afternoon, and he would rather be anywhere but here.

"Garnet, what is this about?" He asked again, stepping out of the warp crystal and following her. She wasn't stopping.

"Gem mutant. Straggler. We have to stop it before someone gets hurt." She took some branches off her path, which immediately snapped back when Diamond tried following along. He broke the branches off.

"Mutant? From the Cluster experiments?" He asked, incredulous. "Those were dealt with years ago. You're telling me we missed one?"

"Yes. We missed one." She said, still neutral. "Hurry up. Sundown comes quick at this time of year."

Diamond almost tripped on an exposed root, but he eventually caught up to Garnet. He could feel Steven was clearly confused, too. This wasn't exactly off brand for Garnet, but she was clearly leading them somewhere.

It was also useless to try to argue, and they were here anyway. Diamond decided to follow along. It was all he could do to ignore the mountain of paperwork he would have to deal with when things were finally set up again.

"Wait. Listen."

Garnet held her hand up, asking for him to stop. The forest sounded the same to him. Just clutter and randomness everywhere.

But there was somewhat of a beauty to how it couldn't be contained in a single frame. A melting pot of thousands of species of plants and animals, all working together to make sure the system worked. He didn't necessarily hate it. It was hard to appreciate, and he wouldn't want to spend much time there, but it wasn't a blight.

"What am I looking for?" He finally asked, after enough time passed with no new news. Eventually, he looked over Garnet's shoulder and realized why they stopped.

Two bunnies being cute together.

"Isn't it lovely?" Garnet said, smiling. Diamond didn't get it.

"They're not the Gem mutant."

"Yes," her smile disappeared, but never turned into a frown. "But they're why we're trying to find it. The Gem mutant can destroy this entire ecosystem while looking for other Gem shards to absorb."

Diamond frowned. "Absorb? I thought they were just berserk."

"At first. All they're really trying to do is to find the rest of their Gems. And they'll join up until they find some semblance of wholeness." She finally looked at Diamond, impassive behind her glasses. "They never actually stay fused, though. They can't. It's too painful."

"Huh." He mumbled.

Diamond had no idea Gem mutants survived the Cluster's bubbling. He expected the few who hatched to be the only ones.

"And what is the plan to deal with them?"

"What we always do." She responded, walking away.

"I still don't know why you asked me to come." Diamond continued, not caring if he sounded conceited. "We have all of Gemkind on our side now. You could have arranged a task force with the best Jaspers in the galaxy. I know them personally."

" _mhm_." She said, completely ignoring him. "From the reports I got, the creature should be around this region, but it only really attacks at night. Let's find a clear place to camp out, it will be drawn to us."

Diamond's irritation was starting to boil.

"Why won't you talk to me, Garnet?"

She turned around, and he could feel all her eyes on him.

"I will. Over a bonfire."

Diamond growled to himself. This _being in touch with feelings_ thing wasn't worth it. He turned everything down in his head and settled with neutrality.

"Very well."

Trying to detach from the situation met with Steven's immediate protest, followed by Diamond's begrudging return to _some_ interest in this situation. Garnet was right, anyway. The sun was already on its way down.

The bonfire they made was warm and cozy, despite it being a relatively warm night. The forest was calm, but rich with the sounds of nocturnal nature. Diamond had never been in a place so devoid of… civilization, he supposed was the word.

Garnet had been quietly smiling on the other side of their little camp, feeding the fire with a stick so it would last longer. She hadn't uttered a word so far. It was incredibly uncomfortable, and he felt like he had lost his whole day. Maybe he could just go—

"Your name isn't Steven, is it?"

She asked the question with the same intonation she would use to ask him to pass the salt, but it shook him to his core. Was this an attack? An intervention? Did she figure something out about Homeworld?

"It's okay. We're just two fusions chatting." She let her words sound like a smile, clearly trying to ease the mood. The crackling flames made for excellent background noise. He had to admit, this was a good setup. He was also trying to figure out what exactly she wanted.

"You said your name was Diamond when you first emerged. I'm sorry you felt you had to say you were Steven."

"I am Steven." He tried. Maybe this was salvageable.

"And I am Ruby and Sapphire. But I am much more than that. I am Garnet." She looked at him, and he knew he was being looked in the eyes. "You are four Diamonds, and Steven. You are not just one of them. You are all of them, and more. You aren't respecting that enough. Now, I'll ask you again. What's your name?"

Diamond felt his mouth drying up. He could feel Steven's anxiety at the question. And, even if Diamond wouldn't admit it, a lot of it was coming from himself. No one _liked_ that he wasn't Steven. And if Garnet didn't like him either, he would have a lot of trouble.

But, also, he just wanted Garnet to like him. What a horrifying realization.

"Diamond." He said, realizing it was surprisingly hard to not stutter. He almost felt choked up. "My name is Diamond."

"Nice to meet you, Diamond." She said, with a warm smile, and it almost killed him. "You've been busy."

"H-how so?" Yeah, not stuttering was hard, he couldn't catch them all.

"Fusing with everyone, unifying Homeworld, making your base on Earth. That's a lot to do while pretending to be someone you're not."

"That's not…" He started, not quite sure where to go with it. "That's not what happened. I just thought you wouldn't get it."

"Why wouldn't we?"

"Because all of you would hate me."

A loud fire crackle punctuated his words. There was no spite in his voice. He was just stating what he thought was a fact. He rubbed his Gemstone, a habit he had stopped trying to suppress.

"Steven can't leave anymore. I'm not your son. You don't know me. You never wanted me here."

Garnet picked up another stick, poking the fire to get more wood burning. The flames reflected on her glasses, and he could almost see the red and blue gradient that always seemed to change, depending on her mood.

"I don't know about that." She started, playing with the fire. "We didn't expect this to work like it did. I do miss Steven; I won't lie and say I don't. But you're a person, too. You have the right to exist."

"Like Malachite before me? Like a Gem mutant?" He asked, trying not to sound too spiteful. "It feels like when fusion goes wrong, you take it upon yourselves to end it."

He could almost see the slightest hint of a dark streak going through Garnet's face.

"That's what I would like to talk about, if you don't mind."

None of them said anything for what felt like a long time but was likely only a couple seconds. Some birds took flight from nearby tree branches, making the whole forest buzz with noise for a moment, and then immediately die down. This still felt like a trap.

"What do you want from me?" He finally asked, trying not to show that he cared. "I have very little to give you, and I can't leave. I never asked to be… Steven. I never asked for his family. I would leave if I could."

"That's not very cheerful."

"I'm not very cheerful."

"Is that so." She let go of the stick, leaning back and putting her weight on her elbows. She was tall enough to still be looking at Diamond. "What day is it today, Diamond?"

"Tuesday?"

"Yes. The first one this month. You've been cooped up in your base for almost two weeks now."

For a very long second, Diamond caught himself making mental calculations of all the times he'd taken notice of the days inside his base. He could _see_ she was telling the truth. The position of the stars above him implied so. Not having to eat or sleep helped lose track of time. Telling off the first few visitors probably warned others.

"I don't see your point."

"You're clearly very happy when you work. That seems to drive you forward." There was her smile again. What was she hoping to accomplish?

"Yes, but you could have told me that without bringing me here. Or destroying my base."

"Fair enough. We can talk about this bluntly, if you prefer." She sat up again, looking serious. "What are your plans? For Earth, for example?"

"Oh, stars." He rolled his eyes. "You brought me to the middle of nowhere to ask me if I'm planning to conquer Earth? This is—"

"I didn't ask you if you're going to conquer Earth. I asked you what you intend to do here."

The distinction didn't seem quite that obvious in Diamond's head.

"Please elaborate, then."

"Earth is a wonderful place, Diamond. The best place in the galaxy. Trust me, I've been around."

A myriad of bats fell out of a tree and flew right behind Garnet. While a regular human being would have been terrified, it only made Garnet smile.

"So much life, so much beauty, everything a Gem needs to find their way. And you have a very unique opportunity laid out in front of you. You know both sides of the struggle. You think like a Diamond, but you also care like Steven."

Diamond broke eye contact, pondering on Garnet's hypothesis. It didn't sound insane, but she was clearly hiding her card.

"You can lock yourself away in your base, never interacting with anyone, and letting Steven's connections to this Earth fade away over time."

She showed her hands, as if showing him two paths he could take in his life. Her garnets gleamed in the bonfire's light.

"You are immortal, like all Gems are. You will see lots of human beings be born, grow up, and die. Nothing can stop that. The feeling of loss is not something we Gems are used to. I blame no one for hiding from it."

"I am not hiding."

"Or," she continued, unabated. "You can work on your work-life balance, connect with the people here, trust Gems to control themselves, and make your life worth living. Travel, discover, experience. Be alive with us, or anyone else you deem worth having around."

"For what purpose would I do that?" He asked, with neutral curiosity.

"There's no purpose in life other than to live well. That's what thousands of years in this place have taught me."

Garnet put her hands on her legs, rotating her wrists to look at her palms.

"For so long, I thought I was only good for what I had been created for. Half of me was made to protect, and the other half was made to conform. Nothing else, for as long as we existed. And then…" She closed her fists, confident. "I was Garnet."

"Garnets are made, too. They are made to rule. And here you are, field leader of a rebel army."

She smiled and relaxed her hands again. "Is it nice having all the answers, Diamond? Does it make you happy?"

"I'm not here to be happy, Garnet. I'm here to help."

"Stars," She smiled even brighter. "You are the spitting image of Steven."

Diamond felt many things in that moment. A rush of blood on his cheeks, making him blush. A warm wave of feelings from his human side, who just seemed happy that people were still with him. And a hint of something he didn't quite recognize.

Maybe guilt. Maybe shame. But either way, he knew Garnet wouldn't approve of his life choices.

"Is there even a Gem mutant?" He asked, suddenly feeling exhausted. He wanted to go home, not even to work.

"Oh, yes. It's been attacking the forest for days. It's very dangerous."

"Good." He got up, blue light emerging from his palm. "I think I'm ready to move on from this."

He spread his blue aura all over the forest, suddenly overwhelming Garnet with all sorts of emotions. In truth, he was letting them out. A lot of it was uncomfortable, and in his eyes, it was unbecoming. He couldn't ask Garnet to understand, but hopefully she would just think this was for the good of the mission.

Diamond quickly retracted the emotional aura, hearing Garnet gasp for air like she'd been choking. And then they heard the screeching.

It was the sound a wounded animal would make if you stepped on its tail. Nothing but violence, sorrow and abject horror behind a horrible, ear-piercing shriek. Garnet quickly recomposed herself, readying in a battle stance. Something was coming, and fast.

Diamond let the yellow lightning course through his body, looking towards where he assumed the noise was coming from. It was all going according to plan, but then the noise abruptly stopped, leaving them in an unusually quiet forest. But no matter. Nothing Gem-like could withstand the full might of a Diamond, not even—

He forgot what he was thinking about when the giant Gem Mutant attacked him from the side, instead of from the front.

It was massive. It had at least nine spider-like legs, and it must have stood as tall as some of those trees. It had arms coming out from both underneath and above its massive, blob-like main body. Instead of a hand for one of its arms, it had a massive bulb of gem shard, almost the size of a soccer ball. Diamond had never seen anything like it.

He shocked the creature away from him, but the fact that it didn't automatically dissolve upon contact told him this would be much more difficult than he originally planned.

"You said it was just a regular mutant!" He yelled at Garnet, who was summoning spikier versions of her gauntlets.

"I never said it was _regular_!" She replied, jumping and punching one of the creature's legs. It cried out in pain, swiping her away with one of its many arms.

Diamond's eyes glowed as he covered his hands in blue plasma. He threw what amounted to a light grenade at the monster, which he then exploded in a thousand blue bolts when it reached an advantageous point. Still not satisfied, Diamond flew up, higher than any of the trees, and covered his fists with bubbles.

His bubbles acquired spikes, which then turned into massive, drill-like fists. He came crashing down, pointing at the monster like a torpedo.

He never expected the thing to be so _fast_. Apparently, it could just move any of its legs around the entire length of its body, because one of them not only came towards him, it came like a fist. He managed to pierce it until halfway, but then got stuck in its mass. Immediately realizing how dangerous that was, he tried bubbling himself, only to be crushed by the open wounds of the mutant, as if his leg was just meant to be opened like a trap.

"Diamond!" He heard Garnet yell and felt a massive surge of electricity coursing through the monster's leg. It didn't affect him that much, but it stunned his opponent enough to allow him to escape his prison. Diamond immediately flew back at the monster, like a comet, summoning a spiked shield and using it as a razor.

He opened what he assumed was the equivalent of the monster's belly, which massively damaged it. Stars, it was so loud. Diamond looked back at the floor, and saw Garnet embiggening her gauntlet, and assuming a shooting position.

"Stand back!" She yelled, making her gauntlet into a giant rocket. He moved away from the target, which didn't have any chance to dodge. The giant beast went down, kicking and screaming.

Diamond once again crackled with yellow energy, ready to unleash all his fury onto the squirming monstrosity. He was a second away from ending it all before Garnet interrupted him.

"Wait!" She threw herself in front of the creature, startling Diamond, who had to shoot up. The sky lit up with his power.

"What are you doing, Garnet?" He always sounded like Yellow when he used lightning. But at that point, it was appropriate. "I could have poofed you!"

"He's already down. Hang on." She jumped on the thing's back, dodging some of its arms on the way to its Gemstone. "You're really hurting, aren't you?"

She soothed one of the grabbing arms with a touch, and gently popped the Gemstone out of its tendril. The monster poofed instantly, and Garnet put her prize in a bubble. Behind her, Diamond landed, observing the process quietly.

"Good job, Diamond." She said, making the bubble disappear. "You make it look easy."

"Why did you bubble it?"

He couldn't see it, but she frowned behind her glasses.

"We're going to make it join the Cluster later. Or keep it. One day, we might be able to help it."

"Why aren't we shattering these things, Garnet?"

The word made her grimace. It was Diamond's turn to ask life-changing questions with a neutral, almost casual intonation.

"These Gems have suffered enough. It is up to us to try to help reduce their pain. Or wait until we can do it."

"It is impossible to _end_ their pain. Death would be a mercy."

"Diamond, that's not how we do things."

He scowled in irritation, but his tone was almost innocent.

"I'm not one of you, Garnet. Steven is one of you. I'm _not_ a Crystal Gem." He touched his Gemstone, to hammer his point home. "You're the one who wanted to hear it. I'm Diamond."

Garnet sighed heavily. He could see disappointment running through her body like a poison, but it somehow didn't affect him. After all this talk, all she really wanted was to convince him to not go all the way with their mission. To leave unfinished business over misguided a notion of duty… what did she expect?

Why had he cared about what she thought, at the beginning of all of this? She was clearly wrong.

"Do you really mean that? Can you really not see why we didn't end this mutant's life?" She pleaded, clearly trying to hold something back.

"Its existence is suffering, to allow it to continue being so is wrong. We can… find a way to repurpose it, or—"

"Oh, I'm going to stop you right there." Garnet said, a promise in her voice.

Steven's feelings were subdued, but ever-present. He obviously didn't agree to Diamond, and the image of Garnet losing her faith in him bothered him to no end. But the situation was apparently more complex than a yes or no for him, too. At least, Diamond wasn't feeling any attempts at taking him out of control.

"I don't think shattering something that hurts this much is wrong, Garnet. It sounds like the only option."

"We _don't_ shatter Gems, that is _final_. And if you do, then maybe things aren't as different from before as you think they are."

"This isn't about… Garnet, I don't care about your feelings on Blue Diamond." He stepped forward. "Her idiocracies were her own. I do things because I believe in them, not on impulse. Not because of vanity. I can't _see_ another option as to what to do with that Gem mutant at all. Anything other than neutralizing it would just make it worse."

He didn't mean to get so close to Garnet, but it had happened. He could see through her glasses. Her gaze was sorrowful but determined.

"Then I suppose I will oppose you."

He expected an attack. A punch, lightning, anything. Instead, Garnet simply walked away.

"Is this it?" Diamond asked, watching the Gem leave. "Did we do what you wanted to do?"

"I won't apologize for trying, if that's what you want." She stopped, turned around, and took her glasses off. He had almost expected tears, but something told him she was beyond that. "We'll always be there, if you want to try it our way."

He didn't reply. She gave him a sad smile and put her glasses back on. He watched as Garnet walked what he recognized was the path to the warp.

Suddenly he didn't feel like going back to work so soon. Something about the look she gave him. Perhaps he would simply fly back, eventually.

Diamond sat on the floor, listening to the sounds of nature again. Without anyone around him, it was so quiet. Almost like he wasn't even there.

* * *

Light-Diamond didn't exactly think. Not as regular Gems did. His mind was stratified into what amounted to pre-approved thought processes. Every day, he sent in his major decisions through his computer systems, and Diamond approved of them on Earth. Whenever there was something less important, Light-Diamond simply ballparked what Diamond would do, to at least a 75% accuracy rate.

That is, until the network went down. It was very odd to be disconnected from Diamond for all this time, but Light-Diamond didn't mind. It only meant he had to ballpark a lot more. And over time, he started to grow slightly more used to it. Something like a set of behavior patterns started to occur. The clone embraced them.

The other Gems were clearly uncomfortable.

The Jasper Corps that guarded the palace didn't talk to him, or truly _looked_ at him. He was unable to care, of course, but they did not hide their assumption that he was some sort of freak of nature. Maybe some assumed he was an advanced hologram, and such an assumption wasn't necessarily inaccurate.

But he came from a Diamond. He was, objectively, so much more than that. In his own way, Light-Diamond was perfect.

It was very odd, then, when one of his Jaspers went missing.

At first, he thought it was just incompetence. Maybe she didn't come back from a break or forgot where the castle was. Light-Diamond was not an expert on lower Gems' functionality and was not sure if Jaspers were that stupid. But it was odd to have an uneven configuration of his private army.

It did nothing to change the fact that the One Throne was constantly quiet, with the only sounds allowed being the hums of holographic screens and occasional visitors who needed to relay information in person. But it did affect morale. He could tell they were all worried. Surely, this was the reason.

"Jaspers." He decided it was worth asking, after a three-day absence. "Your ranks are incomplete."

A couple of them immediately stumbled, although their job was nothing more than to stand still indefinitely. At least one of them shifted their weight around, and he could see two or three looking at the exit. He wasn't sure if the fact that he never moved from the throne, or looked at any of them, made this worse. Maybe it was better if it did.

"Explain." He concluded, as neutral as ever.

"Uh…" Jasper 7WA, one with a longer nose than usual, was clearly unsure of what to say. Her forehead Gem twinkled with reflections of the room around her. "We don't know what happened, My Diamond. We haven't seen Roxxie in so long."

"I asked for your missing Jasper. I do not know a Roxxie." His voice was void of interest yet demanded information.

She trembled slightly but managed to regain her composure. "I meant Jasper facet 87YP, cut R0X, My Diamond. I apologize. A-and I apologize for the corps. We will do better from now on!"

He raised his hand to ask her to stop. She abruptly complied. His hand remained up, as he had no real use for it currently.

"Two of you must look for Jasper R0X immediately, so that the Corps may function at maximum efficiency. Failure to comply will result in editing, repurposing, and eventual reassignment."

He couldn't let Diamond know right now, since communications were down, but Tourmaline had made a breakthrough in Gem Editing. It was still horribly dangerous, but now it was _faster_ , and could do more than simply reprogramming base behavior.

Light-Diamond had taken the opportunity to allow for more testing. It was one of the decisions he had made without telling his source. It did not seem important. It would only truly matter if it worked.

Two Jaspers stepped forward, trying their hardest to be stoic.

"Jasper 3HJ, ready for duty, My Diamond."

"Jasper 4HJ, ready for duty, My Diamond."

Light-Diamond didn't reply. He simply pointed to the door, and both Jaspers left. The full set of armor they wore made their steps clank loudly across the empty hall.

* * *

The Jaspers couldn't get out of the Throne Room faster. They thought Diamond had been odd, but his creepy puppet was even more socially stunted. He never talked, never thanked anyone, and most of the time he didn't even _blink_. He just stood there, menacingly reminding them all that he would personally shatter them if they ever disobeyed orders.

3HJ breathed deeply as soon as they stepped outdoors. She could see the busy streets underneath, thousands of Gems back to performing their tasks like clockwork. It brought her some peace, but these people had no idea their leader wasn't even there. They just assumed it was back to how things were before, except no monarchy. Just orders.

"Gosh, where do we even start?" 4HJ asked her, now allowed to thoroughly freak out. "We haven't seen Roxxie in days, she could be anywhere."

"Yeah, well, if you ask me, she's smart. She quit this cracking job and went to lay low for a couple centuries." 3HJ opened her arms to make her words sound extra important, but it was still their job to find their missing link, and that was short to impossible without a last known location.

4HJ sighed, transforming her grey armor into her regular Gem clothing.

"Well, no use in being dressed for work while we're out. Let's go to the Warp labs and figure out if she's off-planet or not."

3HJ loved seeing 4HJ with no armor on. Her muscles were sculpted for power, but also aesthetic. Her regular uniform left her bulging arms exposed and her hair, short for usual Jasper length, hung all the way to her shoulders, making her stand out amongst the crowd.

3HJ's armor disappeared, revealing her own uniform. She had sleeves, but the legs on her uniform didn't go all the way down. Her hair was standard Jasper length – stopped right around the middle of her back, spiky and weaponized. Her skin was a slightly darker shade of orange than most Jaspers'.

She always thought she looked like dirt, but 4HJ said, literally from the moment of their inception, that she looked "really cool." 3HJ didn't see it.

They couldn't be more different if they had been born in different Eras. 4HJ was lean and athletic, 3HJ was bulky and large. 4HJ was short for a Jasper, and 3HJ was on the taller side. 4HJ's face was sharp and confident, 3HJ's made her look like much more of a brute than she knew she was, deep down. Their Gems were even on completely opposite sides, one on each arm.

3HJ realized she was staring and forced herself to take her gaze elsewhere. They were Jasper Corps. They only existed to protect and serve. Conditioning made it very clear that it was wrong to think about anything else. The last Jasper who rebelled against conditioning was Master Jasper, and she had obviously paid the price.

"So, Tourmaline, right? She's the one handling the Warp lab at this point?" 3HJ asked, getting her head back in the game.

"Should be. We'll figure it out."

* * *

Both hated the labs. A bunch of weird nerds looking at screens all day, figuring out where people are coming from. Dull work for losers.

This installation had been established at the beginning of Era 3 — well, at the _first_ beginning, — to promote checks and balances. Turns out unlimited teleportation technology was very easily exploitable, so they needed a way to make sure it was being used strictly for Gem-approved business.

Tourmaline barely looked at them. A Sapphire with her Gemstone on the right side of her head busily typed away at holograms without interacting with anyone else. She didn't look very interested in her job, but at the same time, didn't announce guests as Sapphires usually do. It was bizarre not seeing a Pearl anywhere, making sure everyone had everything they needed.

Maybe Tourmaline assigned the _really_ demeaning tasks to them, 3HJ though.

" _Ehem_ " 4HJ coughed, which got her the attention of one or two Peridots, but not of their leaders. Tourmaline seemed thoroughly entertained in whatever report she was reading.

"We're here on Diamond business." 3HJ tried, already tired of this obvious power play. Nobody cared who anyone was anymore, now that they were in the One Diamond era. If you're not a Diamond, you don't matter.

Tourmaline's side-eyed them, as if genuinely only realizing they were there. She held back a sigh, moving the hologram away from her eyes. 3HJ realized that a lot of her staff was composed of Tanzanites, which was unorthodox. She thought that kind of Gem was usually too busy inventing new technology to deal with pre-existing stuff.

"Jaspers, is it?" Tourmaline said, as if placing herself in the situation. 4HJ's chiseled arms crossed her chest, and 3HJ puffed hers up. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"We're looking for one of ours." 4HJ said, taking the initiative. "Tall, muscular, orange."

"The mirror would be able to help you."

Snickers and half-laughs joined the murmur of busy bees working, which 3HJ couldn't do much about. They didn't seem particularly intimidated. Maybe they figured they were too valuable? But this was the Warp Lab! No one cared about the _Warp Lab_.

"We've got her designation and last known location, we're just trying to see if she warped in or out of Homeworld recently." 4HJ stepped forward, trying to out-play the scientist. Tourmaline looked like she was legitimately going to sleep mid-sentence.

"Yes, yes, we can take care of it." She waved at Sapphire, who took her eye off her notes. "Sapphire, bring us Corundite, if you will?"

Right Sapphire didn't answer, just bowed and ran away. 3HJ wasn't sure what a Corundite was supposed to be. When the Sapphire came back, she was holding on to someone extremely unusual.

For all intents and purposes, she looked like one of her peers. She was short, regal-looking, perfect hair and her fancy dress gave her a polite demeanor. But that's where the similarities stopped.

For starters, Corundite was dark – grey and black splotches decorated her visible skin, with her dress sharing a similar color scheme. She didn't seem to be able to stand straight on her own, being held up by Sapphire by her hand and back. Sapphire looked incredibly uncomfortable.

3HJ couldn't quite see where her Gemstone was located, which wasn't that worrying. It was when Tourmaline reached down and touched Corundite's hair that 3HJ had to hold a gasp.

The Gem had no eyes. A single barely sculpted, grey spotted Gemstone adorned her face. Spikes of malformed rock escaped from the left side of her head, as if the Gemstone had been stretched until it filled half her skull. Corundite cringed at her superior's touch.

"Corundite, it's Tourmaline. We need you again." The scientist said, with a fake sweet voice. She didn't even bother to smile.

Corundite didn't respond. She just kept trembling and swaying, needing constant redirection from Sapphire. 3HJ looked at her partner, and even if she was handling it better, 4HJ was clearly uncomfortable. Finally, 4HJ decided to ask.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Well, pardon the Warp Lab's rudeness." Tourmaline scoffed. She started to pet Corundite like an animal, and 3HJ felt like just leaving and looking into every single Warp on the planet herself. "You're asking for something that happened several days ago, hmm? Well, our records have been a bit of a mess because of all the commotion. Gems have been coming and going so often, it would probably take a few days to look at all the records. I figure you don't have the time, so I called for plan B."

She ruffled Corundite's hair, and 3HJ wondered if the little one could cry. "Isn't that right dear?"

Corundite still wouldn't talk. Sapphire cringed. Tourmaline sighed.

"Sapphire, just do the business."

"Please, provide the Gem's last known location." Sapphire asked, turning towards the Jaspers just enough.

"It's, uh… Jasper 87YP-R0X. She was in the One Throne three days ago." 4HJ said, trying not to hesitate too much.

Almost immediately, Corundite started to shout in agony, and her Gemstone shined in kind.

3HJ had seen a lot of things in her time. The end of the Great Gem War, the beginning of at least one Era, too many alien races to count. But she'd never seen a Gemstone contorting like that.

It seemed to be spinning inside Corundite's head without triggering her light form to remake itself. It was clearly not meant to do that, yet Corundite's shouting was ignored by all but Sapphire, desperate to make sure she didn't fall face first. When she threw her head back, 3HJ found herself legitimately worried that the Gem had passed out. But then her crude, uncut Gemstone started to show a light projection.

"I AM JASPER. I GUARD THE ONE THRONE." Corundite shouted, in a voice very different from the one before.

"Roxxie…?" 4HJ asked, incredulous. The light emanating from her Gem showed a crude representation of a Jasper standing guard. She then started to move.

"I GROW WEARY OF THIS. I HATE THIS." She continued, with no regard for volume. Sapphire was clearly crying, but she kept holding on. "I HATE ALL OF THIS."

"Yes, yes, cut to the chase." Tourmaline rotated her hand derisively. "You're dissatisfied, what else?"

"I LEAVE THE ONE THRONE. I SEE THE LIGHT."

"What light?" 3HJ asked. "What do you see?"

"THE BACKSTABBERS. THE TRAITORS. THE SAVIORS. THEY NEED ME. THEY NEED ALL OF US."

4HJ approached 3HJ, and the taller Gem felt her partner's body trembling. She didn't deal well with things like this. Whatever _this_ was.

"I LEAVE THE ONE THRONE, FOREVER. I AM JASPER. I GUARD THE GARDEN."

"That's enough, I believe." Tourmaline said, phasing her hand through the image of a Jasper once again in guarding position, but this time with no armor on.

The light dissipated, and Corundite's body went limp. Moments later, she poofed.

Her Gemstone was disgusting. That was the only way 3HJ could really describe it. It looked unnaturally edgy and had no discernible cut of any kind. Rocky tendrils and spikes came out of it like roots, which made Sapphire clearly panic while she reached for the misshapen rock midair. If it even touched the floor, it would probably break in some places.

"What _is_ her?" 3HJ asked, afraid of the answer, but stung by morbid curiosity. "Corundite? I never heard of any Gems going by that name."

Tourmaline smiled, showing all her teeth. She loved talking about it.

"Yes, well. Gem Editing has come a long way in a short period of time, I assure you. One of my Sapphires proved to be… redundant."

"We have what we need." 4HJ said, reaching for her partner's shoulder. "Thank you, Tourmaline."

Tourmaline _hmph_ 'd, reaching back for the holographic screen she'd put away before. "Sapphire, be a dear and put it back in storage."

The Sapphire that had reached for the Gemstone placed it in a blue bubble, slowly walking away. Not seeing a Sapphire dashing through the corridors was a bit odd, but 3HJ guessed she didn't want to do any of this.

The Jaspers left the building as fast as they could without running.

"Stars above, what a monster." 4HJ barked, kicking some decorations away like a football. She ripped whatever the piece of hard metal was with the attack. "That rock makes me sick."

3HJ was quiet. There was a lot to process from what she'd just seen. So she decided to ignore it and focus on the mission.

"Garden. What's a garden anyway?"

"Place with a lot of plant life forms. Life… well, nowhere in Homeworld has that. Gosh, and they didn't even want to look at the footage of a couple days ago. Useless rocks with their useless rock of a boss—"

"Hey, Four, come on." 3HJ said, worried. "You don't curse that much."

4HJ sighed, allowing her body to tremble. It was rare to see any Jasper showing her emotions like that. "I'm sorry, Tee, I'm just… that poor thing."

3HJ slowly approached her partner, making sure it was okay. When 4HJ nodded, the larger Gem embraced her, with a tenderness she wouldn't show to anyone else.

"You got this, okay? You're a hard Jasper and you've seen way worse."

"I'm not so sure about that."

Despite the tone, 3HJ could feel Four's body relaxing. They were in public, but if anyone had any problem with it, they could tell it to their faces. This job sucked.

Where were they even supposed to find this garden thing?

* * *

"Yo, Roxxie." Amethyst said, approaching the yellow giant. "You still doing this?"

Roxxie was still donning her full armor and had a long hunting spear at the ready. Her stone-cold gaze had been staring at the Warp Crystal for two Earth days straight. She barely said a word after her "shift" started.

"I'm a Jasper." She said, unblinking. "I'm made to fight, and to be ready to fight."

"Uh, yeah, but you're not on duty anymore, homegirl." Amethyst said, lazily crossing her arms. "We're in the Garden, remember? Nobody knows we're here."

Roxxie looked at her weird recruiter, who looked like a mixture of bored and content.

"But they'll find out one day. And on that day, I'll be ready to protect this operation." Roxxie looked back at the Warp, continuing her sentence. "You took me out of that place, and I have to repay you somehow."

"I mean, ya _could_ hang out with Spinel a bit. Girl's kinda clingy." The smaller one said, smiling and coming between Roxxie and her target. "Listen, we still don't got a plan. All we know is that we gotta do something about Steven and figure out what's wrong with him and Lapis. I'm sure it's gonna be fine."

"He's not called that." Roxxie said, feeling anxiety rippling through her chest. "He calls himself Diamond. And the thing on the throne right now, I don't even know. But it's no Gem. It does things no one Gem can do."

"Suuuuch as?" She put her hands on her hips and leaned over Roxxie, which just looked weird considering she wasn't trying to intimidate her and was very tiny. Was that just how she talked? Weird little thing.

"He can make clones, he can fly… he can do so much." Roxxie felt like she was back in the fight, being hammered down by a Diamond clone with a giant mace. "I remember being in one of the clones' light form. _Inside_ his form, like a fused Gem. I… I don't know how, but he was forcing me to not reform… I was still awake. I don't… it was terrible."

The spear disappeared. She took her helmet off, revealing her short tomboyish hair, her chin's Gemstone, and the fact that she was drenched in cold sweat. Amethyst assumed a regular pose again, clearly worried.

"Man, this makes no sense." She said, not waiting for a reply. "Look dude, just go hang out with Spinel for a while. She likes making people happy, and you look like you need a distraction right now. I'll stay here and cover your break."

Roxxie was about to protest, but Amethyst shape-shifted a smaller version of her own armor above her clothes. Grey, covering every limb, with a helmet equipped with a visor. "Ta-da! See, I got this."

She summoned her whip, and held it in her right hand, leaning over the Warp like she was about to attack. Roxxie had to laugh. Amethyst was very odd, but very charming.

"Alright. Thanks." She said, embarrassed, but still realizing she couldn't really defend anything if her head wasn't in it. "You're alright, short stack."

"Baby, you know it." She winked, watching the Jasper transform her armor back into her regular clothes and walk away. And that's as much as her smile lasted.

She'd been with Spinel for days, and nothing she discovered made sense. Expeditions to Homeworld and other planets that had access to the communications hub showed her these nonsensical data banks, full of things Steven would never do. Spinel saying she witnessed Steven and Lapis shattering Jasper didn't help, either.

Amethyst still didn't believe it. She said Lapis had done it, which… yeah, that might happen one day, but Steven had to have tried to stop her. Spinel was cool, but she didn't pay that much attention. Maybe she just got it wrong…

But then they found Roxxie while they were out, and defeated her, and realized she had _been_ there. And saw it happen, too. Just… from the weird, semi-poofed limbo that she had described. Still, regardless, Diamond light clones? That looked like Pearl's holograms, but she was clearly talking about something else. Apparently one of those things had remained in the One Throne while Steven went back to Earth.

All she wanted to do was to stuff her face full of pancakes and go play some video games with her buddy, but… this was wrong. It was all going terribly wrong. She didn't even want to involve the other Crystal Gems, especially now that Steven had apparently made a base camp in Beach City. If there was even a chance that he suspected what she was up to, and things were as they seemed, it could get ugly. Apparently as ugly as it could get, too.

But, hey, having _a_ Jasper on their side was good. They were going to go to Homeworld soon, to pick up more intel and figure out what to do about the Steven clone. Maybe… maybe they could just go in and take him out, and deal with the real Steven when she made sure people weren't getting hurt. Or worse.

She heard Spinel singing a funny song in the distance, and Roxxie grumbling and trying to keep up with her, so Amethyst guessed it was fine, for now. But she remembered how long Spinel just couldn't stop crying while she talked about the fight. Steven wouldn't do that. Steven wouldn't do any of this.

Was this guy even Steven anymore?


	13. CHAPTER 12 - Life's a Beach (And Then You Drown)

"Okay." Connie told herself. The girl inside the mirror looked back at her, fierce and trying to look cool. "Game face on."

It was five in the morning and she was feeling like this. The date was in ten hours.

Her game face lasted about five seconds before crumbling into her old nerd girl's resting expression. Hadn't worn that in a while.

"Ugh, come on." She muttered to herself, closing her eyes and touching her own face.

This was so stupid. She felt so silly.

Connie had gone on so many dates with Steven before. There was no novelty, and that was perfectly fine. She kinda liked it better like that.

Why would she be this nervous?

"Game face… on!" Another fierce look at the girl behind the mirror. Another failed attempt, this time because of a chuckle.

It felt good to laugh at it, but she couldn't pretend she wasn't losing sleep over the matter. She had her first date with Steven since they returned from Inbix. They'd promised to go out for bits, but things had gotten so crazy…

" _sigh_." She stared in the mirror one more time.

The dark bags under her eyes, the unkempt bed hair and the tired gaze she shot at herself told Connie she needed a break. From what, she didn't know, but there was something at the back of her mind that she was not giving the proper attention. A feeling, or a thought.

Of course, that wasn't entirely true. She had a good idea of what it was. Connie just didn't want to think about it, so she wouldn't.

She opened the faucet and splashed some warm water on her face. The liquid calmed her down, but not enough for her to believe she would go back to sleep. Sometimes Connie just woke up in the middle of the night and that's when her day started that morning. Five o'clock is almost daylight time anyway. It wasn't that bad.

The girl behind the mirror kept staring at her.

"Where's your game face, anyway?" She said, too tired to care that she was talking to a mirror. "You're not helping."

It was odd feeling lonely when she was surrounded by friends and family all the time.

Every time Connie left her house, she was made aware of a dozen possibilities for interacting with others that each day enabled. Her loved ones had multiplied in such a small window of time, sometimes she even had trouble believing it was happening. It felt like yesterday when she would sit in cafeterias by herself, reading books and secretly hoping people would approach. Now that kind of thought felt so juvenile.

Yet the girl behind the mirror felt like the only person who really talked to her, nowadays. Who really understood, at least.

"It's gonna be okay." She told herself. "You're just nervous because it's been a while. We've done this a bunch of times."

The thought on the back of her mind ached, contracting and swiping at her from the inside. She was starting to put it into words.

But it wouldn't matter in a few hours. After they had established that everything was fine, it simply wouldn't matter. Her fears would be put to rest, and they could go back to their nameless relationship, like always.

The girl kept staring. The words had mass in her head. She could feel how heavy they were. They singed every other thought she had, like the words insisted on escaping, lest they burn her peace of mind to a crisp.

Connie broke eye contact with herself as she said it out loud.

"We haven't done this a bunch of times. Not with him."

Thinking about it made her head lighter, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

She was probably just sleep deprived. These worries would subside soon.

Steven would never do anything bad on purpose.

* * *

The sentence "Steven made me do it" was becoming increasingly common in Diamond's routine. Yes, Bismuth _had_ said she would take a couple days to make sure that not only was everything working, but it was also impossible to stop the base's functioning without destroying it next time. She thought it was a bit extreme, but they worked it out.

He expected to be able to visit Homeworld and see how things were doing, maybe even stick around a couple of days, but… here he was.

"Hm, I don't know. Steven, what do you think?"

Connie was asking him for clothes suggestions. She never bought new stuff, so this was apparently important. Steven had felt giddy with excitement at the idea, but now he'd gotten quiet, too. Diamond couldn't see the appeal.

"It's good." He said, his eyes so unfocused that he might as well be looking through the girl.

She didn't seem to mind it at first, but he knew she would catch on eventually. These people seemed to be keenly aware of when Diamond was phoning it in. It's not like it was his fault; he genuinely couldn't understand why this ritual was important. And he didn't really care to find out.

"I'm gonna try it on then!" The girl said, moving into a closet. Diamond sighed.

It was weird, but all he wanted to do right now was talk to Steven.

The boy hadn't liked their last talk, but so much kept changing. Garnet was now clearly against him and would be for the near future. Apparently Pearl and Greg were onto the fact that something undesirable was going on with him. Amethyst was nowhere to be found, and he hadn't thought about Lapis in a while, so they hadn't had much contact. Usually, this arrangement would be fine. He thrived alone.

His thought process was a roundabout way of admitting that Garnet's words hurt. He wasn't used to hurting but was somewhat familiar with how it felt like. And he figured the only one who could _really_ help him currently lived inside his head, unable to come out and difficult to reach.

Steven would at least know how to react to these things. Emotionally, he meant. It's not like Diamond _lacked_ emotions, they just… didn't usually come into play. Whenever they did it was always weird. It always made him feel like he was in danger, or about to—

"So, what's the verdict?"

Connie interrupted his thoughts, opening the changing closet and revealing herself wearing a pinkish dress, stamped with flowers and vines. She was wearing her hair down to her shoulders.

She was strangely bright. Not _literally_ bright, Connie was just… glowing for some reason. Diamond didn't understand what the words meant, but they felt right.

"You look very good." He said, and he meant it. It was just the truth. Connie looked good with sundresses. "But you know that already, I don't know why you called me."

"Awww!" That was apparently the right thing to say. He watched her fawning over the obvious truth, and then recomposing herself. "I'm gonna buy this one, then."

She closed the door, and Diamond checked a clock in the store. Almost 2pm.

It wasn't like he had anything he _had_ to do that day, but the feeling of uselessness was enough to make him uneasy. Especially since there was obviously something he wasn't quite aware of going on. At least, Connie's insistence on going out seemed to imply so.

"So, what next?" She said, when they left the store, dress in hand. "You wanna go get some food, or see a movie, or…?"

Diamond stared at her with genuine confusion in his eyes. She clearly had plans, why was she asking him what he wanted to do?

"What do you have in mind?" He asked.

"Oh, well, I wanted to go walk around Beach City." Connie said, still smiling. "We haven't spent time together in a while without it being in a huge galactic adventure. I thought it would be nice to relax."

"Right." He couldn't quite see it. "Walking around Beach City it is."

"I'm gonna go home and change into this new dress. Are you, um, going to change too?"

He looked down and wondered what about his pink warrior outfit was not fit for the activity. With a bit of focus, his clothes shined into what he perceived as a masculine version of whatever dress Connie had just picked up. In this case, a business-casual black shirt with short sleeves, blue suit pants, a belt and brown suit shoes.

"Hmm. You look good, but it's a bit serious, isn't it?"

He grumbled and closed his eyes, focusing a bit more. He materialized a necklace with a star hanging low, changed the shirt's color to blue and added vines and pink roses all around it as a stamp. He changed the suit shoes to white open sandals, the belt from black to a gradient with the four colors of his diamonds, and realized, surprised, that this whole design had probably come from Steven's side of the equation.

Or Pink. When it was something artistic, the distinction was moot.

Connie laughed. "You look great! Like you're gonna buy the whole town!"

"That wouldn't be that hard. It can't be worth much."

She snickered at his completely serious assertion, and he decided not to interrupt.

Diamond didn't really think about the fact that he didn't interact with the rest of town. The Crystal Gems had surrounded themselves with walls for millennia and didn't seem to mind not fraternizing with humans all that much. But he had certain expectations due to his standing and circumstances, so he might as well get them done with while he couldn't work.

That's what he kept telling himself while he walked the boulevard, at least. The Ferris wheel loomed over him in the distance, while the smell of Fryman fries and Pizza pizzas attacked all his senses. The afternoon was warm and chirping with bird noises, chatter and the sounds of Gemkind and humanity living together.

Connie held onto his arm all the time. Their height difference was ever more pronounced with her so close to him, but she didn't seem to mind. She seemed to kind of like it, if he had to guess from her expression. She was laughing, and cheering, and, occasionally, he felt her warm face against his skin.

He had to admit, the outfit was growing on him. Steven felt like he was having a good time, too. Occasionally _something_ that felt like him would prod Diamond's head like a needle, but not in the way it usually happened. It was like he was trying to pierce his consciousness with a singular thought, but whatever progress they had made with their connection didn't allow for that kind of communication yet.

Still, Diamond thought he was doing well enough. Connie wanted to go out and spend time together, thus he was going and spending time with Connie. Garnet was wrong about him. He could totally do this. Assuming there was nothing Gem-related to do, of course.

The Fryman boy handed him two greasy cardboard boxes with fried potato chunks on them. They didn't look particularly appetizing, even with melted cheese on top.

"Here you go, two portions of bits." The boy looked at him like he was expecting something.

"I've already paid." Diamond said, neutral.

"Uh… okay." The boy receded into his cart, looking hurt.

"Oh, right. Thank you." The words came out too late, but Diamond didn't really care.

He walked over to Connie, who was sitting on a bench. He gave her one of the boxes and sat by the girl's side. She seemed to enjoy her meal.

"Gosh, I haven't had these in a while." Connie said, licking some cheese off her pointer. "You're not hungry?"

"I don't think so." Diamond said. Food didn't appeal to him much, but he knew that made people uncomfortable. "It definitely looks… edible."

Connie chuckled, but he noticed the way she was looking at him. Like she was scanning for something.

"You haven't come to the park since you fused, right?" She asked, scooching closer to him. They were already plenty close, so all she was really doing was invading his personal space. "Does it feel different?"

"Hm. A bit."

Diamond looked around and recognized almost nothing. He tried not thinking about this part of Steven's life too much. Frankly, his mind was always too occupied thinking about Homeworld, or planning his next actions. To internalize Steven's childhood in Beach City always felt like a waste of time.

It was all there, of course. Neatly stored and organized. He just never opened the folder.

"There are more people than I am used to." He mentioned, and it was true. From the palace to his dome, it was odd to be in a crowd. Diamond didn't care for it.

"Yeah, Beach City sure has grown." Connie finished her fries, throwing the container in a can nearby. "I can't believe it's only been a few years since I came here."

"Oh, yes." He looked at her and realized she was looking up at the clouds.

The sky was starting to be bathed into beautiful orange hues. The nights were getting colder, but it was still comfortable around this hour. Diamond knew this kind of thing made humans nostalgic. He understood nostalgia.

"It feels like that was so long ago." Diamond said, absentmindedly. "A lifetime ago."

Connie hummed, touching Diamond's hand. He didn't look at her. The clouds reminded him of Steven.

"But it's been a good life, right?" She asked, following his gaze up. "You've done so much."

"I wouldn't know." He looked down at the bits again. Soggy and cold. Threw them out. "There's so much more to do, and so little time. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it. All these people will just keep living out their days no matter what I do. And Gemkind, I…"

Diamond went quiet. He felt Connie gripping his hand more but realized that he didn't know how to respond to that.

"Hey, I think you're doing great." She said, smiling. "If you manage to do half of what you told me about in Homeworld, Gemkind will be really thankful."

He bit his own tongue to not reply to her. Every barrier and degree of separation between him and his work had been her fault, and the fault of Steven's stupid family. And now she was acting like she had always been on his side. It infuriated him.

"And, um… I'm sorry you felt like you had to move back here."

"Oh?" Diamond turned around, unable to hide his surprise.

"It's… really obvious that this isn't where you want to be." Her eyebrows arched in a sad expression. "I feel like you're doing it for me, or for us, and I'm just… really sorry. I know how it is to move to a place you don't like, just because other people tell you to."

"You do." He said to himself, letting it all connect. "You… actually know how I'm feeling."

She withdrew a bit, as if unsure of what his tone meant.

"Yeah, I mean… not exactly, but…"

"No, no." He grabbed her hand this time. "It's… that is it. I just thought…"

"What?"

"No one would get it. Any of it. Everyone fits here."

"Well… I think I do, at least a bit. You know you can always ask, right Steven?"

Diamond nodded, but he couldn't keep looking at her. At this point, it finally felt like lying wasn't the way to go. But to stop now and just open up to Connie, to actually break down everything he'd done and why he didn't want to stop…

It was enough to make their silence feel heavier. Both let the sensation settle in, as if uncertain of what to do next.

 _I should tell her_ , he thought. _I should really tell her what's going on._

No words came out of his mouth. The charade had gone on for far too long, at this point.

"Hey, um, do you want to ride the Ferris wheel?" He heard her saying, distracting him from his thoughts. The line was small, and the next ride was about to start.

"Yes, that sounds good."

She held his hand and pulled him towards the line. Diamond could see that the townsfolk were all staring at them. Some men casually looked at them, but most didn't seem to mind anything. Ronaldo widened his eyes and started to take pictures, but Diamond felt compelled to ignore the man's existence.

The women were looking at Connie, too, but those looks were not as estranged. Whenever he _had_ to be out, he had grown accustomed to people not being quite ready to take him in. But this was somewhat different. He couldn't quite place _what_ they were looking at.

"Tickets for two?" Said a white and purple Gem, with horns and sequels from corruption. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see it was you. It's on the house, boss."

" _Boss_?" He asked, incredulous.

"Thanks! Come on, Steven!" Connie said, pulling him into one of the carts. He thought he would barely fit, but it all worked out.

As the slow machine ascended them into the highest spot of the park, Diamond found himself looking over the horizon. The sunset was about to start, and the sky and ocean were bathed in golden light. Clear waters and perfect clouds adorned the beautiful spectacle.

"It's gorgeous." Connie said, sitting by his side.

Their fingers interlaced, and the sun shined bright on her face. She wore a kind, peaceful smile that caught his attention, but he couldn't quite muster up the words as for why.

"Today's been great."

"True." He said, still trying to figure out what Steven was trying to tell him. There was clearly something special about today. "Thank you."

They enjoyed each other's silence. But it was not meant to last. Diamond could see that she was growing restless. Trying to build up the will to say something.

The tone had shifted so much from a few moments ago, he thought he _must_ have done something wrong.

"Hey," Connie let go of his hand, for a moment, but then clearly forced herself to grab it again. She couldn't look him in the eye. "We haven't really… since you fused, um…"

"We haven't gone on the Ferris wheel for longer than that."

"No, not that." Connie candidly pulled him by his collar and kissed him.

His eyes widened and his mind raced. He was missing something. She hadn't even looked at him like that since the fusion, and now this whole day, and experiences, and idyllic situation— what was wrong with this picture? What was he missing? Was this just normal? Was—

She separated and looked him in his eyes. Diamond must have been showing all his confusion, because Connie's expression changed from wistful to utterly disappointed.

"You don't remember."

She broke eye contact, distancing herself from him as much as she could without moving from her spot. The girl looked more upset than she did… for years, if Steven's memories were anything to— _stars!_ His memories! Diamond finally remembered, it—

"Or you don't even know."

"It's our anniversary." He whispered, realizing why Steven had been bothering him all day. All of it, every part, he had to react—

"But you wouldn't care about that. Steven would."

"I'm…" Garnet's words came to his mind again and stopped him dead in his tracks. He had berated Steven for indulging Connie before, how was he any different…?

"Go on." She said when the words died on his mouth. "I know what's coming, but I want to hear it from you. Just tell me the truth."

He felt Steven practically kicking him from his seat, but his grip was strong, somehow. Maybe not calm, but secure. He wouldn't let go of consciousness this time.

"I'm not Steven. I am Diamond." He said, feeling the weight of the words hit Connie in full. He saw her eyes wince, her lips tremble. He noticed her muscles tensing up, her fingers growing ever whiter from how hard she was holding her own arm. Diamond said nothing more until Connie was ready to talk.

He felt something weird coming from Steven. The usual panic and anxiety, but also a strange hollowness that didn't fit the boy. Something that sapped on his strength more than anything had before.

"Am…" She started, but the words didn't come out.

He saw her hiding her face in her hands for a second, breathing slowly and deeply. A part of him wanted to know if it was appropriate to touch her shoulders. Finally, she turned to him abruptly, clearly upset, but refusing to cry.

"Am I to assume Steven is dead?"

"No." He said. "Steven is in here, but he cannot come out. And he cannot exist without me."

"Why _not_?"

"It is the nature of my existence. You cannot exist without your organs. I cannot exist without him, or any of my predece—"

She punched him in the arm. He didn't even feel it. The Ferris wheel kept turning, cheers and sighs all around them. The sunlight kept alternating between bathing Connie's entire body and leaving her completely dark.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me take you on this… this whole _thing_ if you're not even…"

She was trembling with anger, and he couldn't blame her. There was nothing he could say to truly defuse this.

"You kept lying to me. You kept telling me whatever I want to hear. You kept holding my hand! Letting me say nice things to… d-do you even— do you even _know_ me?!"

If Steven came out now, she would never let this go. He could say as many goodbyes as he wanted to, it wouldn't matter. She would never have closure like this. Not really. It didn't work for White; it didn't work for Steven; it certainly wouldn't work here.

"I know it's confusing, and not what you wanted at all, but please— I have all of Steven's memories in my head, I just have to think about it. He loves you so much, regardless of who I am I don't want to make you—"

Every word he said made her more upset. More lies, more niceties.

"Please stop talking."

He complied. She held her head like she was trying not to scream. Her eyes shut with fierceness, and her entire body language told him she was about to attack.

"I called you Steven so many times. You've just…" The sheer irritation and hatred in her eyes made him wonder if he would have to defend himself. It made his arms tense up. "You left with Lapis, you dominated Homeworld, you… what else did you _do_? What else did you lie about?"

"Connie, we're on the ground, we should leave." He said, as the Gem operator opened the door.

"Uh, ma'am?" The Gem at the gate tried, but Connie shot her a glare that made the alien physically retreat a couple steps, arms up.

"You played with me. With all of us." Connie was still eloquent when angry, which made her even more terrifying. "You haven't said the truth since the day I met you, and I've just been listening to you talk about your problems."

"That's not true." He defended himself, realizing he couldn't stand up inside the cart. "I've been trying to keep you people around all this time! I've been trying to make Steven's life keep working!"

"Working? _You people_?" She sounded genuinely disturbed. "Are we just a _project_ to you? Something you do out of obligation?"

He took far too long to answer. Her frown was a mask of anger.

Connie turned around and ran. Diamond watched the nimble girl make incredible distance, that he could easily catch up to with his powers.

Steven wasn't trying to do anything. Somehow, that disturbed him more than the alternative. Diamond had to get out of there.

* * *

The Room in his mind was not a fluffy pink paradise anymore.

The rainy sound he noticed before was now all over the place. The clouds were heavy and cold, and a strange wind howled louder than he could speak. He could clearly see a human shape in the distance, looking away from him.

"Steven!" Diamond yelled, but he couldn't even hear his own voice. "Steven, you know I'm here!"

The wind somehow became even more voracious. The rain that he heard before had finally started, soaking him. Diamond couldn't open his eyes very well. How was any of this possible?

"STEVEN!"

Diamond tried again, but nothing. He couldn't even move forward. It was like there was dark, muddy water around his feet. And then around his knees. It was making all his movements harder. It made him feel so cold.

Was Steven _drowning_ him? Was he going to—

* * *

Diamond woke up with a shout. Steven's room was so unfamiliar, he forgot where he'd fallen asleep in.

He hadn't even tried going to his room in Homeworld; he knew that if he even got close to the Throne right now, he'd have to take over. Steven was the only thing more important than work, and now he couldn't even get to him.

"Damn it!" He cursed, wiping the sweat off his brow.

Diamond laid back down, determined to make it work.

* * *

"Steven, I'm not going to leave until we talk!"

The water was already up to his waist when he entered the Room. The wind was definitely trying to hurt him, and somehow, it was succeeding.

"At least talk to me!"

The human looked so far away, yet so huge. It was like a great shadow cast itself from the horizon, enveloping everything Diamond saw.

"Listen to me!"

* * *

Wake up again. Curse. Go back to sleep.

"No nightmare can stop me, Steven! Nothing you do here can—"

* * *

"I swear to the stars above, if you do that again—"

* * *

Again. And again. And again. And—

* * *

"Stop being such a _child_!"

The waters became still at knee height. The clouds stopped rumbling. The rain continued, but far more subdued. But Diamond barely had time to react to all the sensory deprivation. Steven was turning around.

Stars, the kid's eyes looked like they were glowing.

In an extremely disorienting way, the strange shallow pink ocean they found themselves in seemed to bend and warp, bringing Steven's side closer to Diamond. It was like Steven was bending the entire inner world to his will.

"You're ruining my life." Steven said, almost whispering. His eyes _were_ glowing; a faint pink layer right above his usual black irises. "And you don't even care."

"I did nothing you shouldn't have done before."

Steven slowly raised one of his hands, palm towards Diamond. The Gem didn't expect him to attack, from how deliberate he was being. Yet that was several tons of force that came out of his body, invisible energy that Steven never had before.

Somehow, he didn't let Diamond move. Diamond just took the blunt of the hit and kneeled, unable to breathe.

"How did… what is—"

"Your Void is outside, Diamond. _I_ control this place."

The human ignored Diamond's confusion, looking impassive towards his counterpart.

"This is my body. This is my mind. You can't do whatever you want with it."

Steven raised his hand, and a shield materialized. The shield started spinning dangerously fast.

Diamond couldn't move. He stared at the makeshift saw that his ostensibly more merciful side was aiming at him. What would happen if he got hurt here? Would Steven just take over? Would he disappear?

Would anyone even care?

He looked at Steven's eyes, and he wanted to believe the boy was thinking about that, too.

They kept staring at each other, but oblivion never came.

"Stop that." Steven said, almost whispering. Diamond couldn't understand. "Quit looking at me like that. I'm gonna… I'm gonna hurt you."

Diamond felt his eyebrow rising, out of his control.

"What?"

"I… said I'm gonna hurt you! Stop _looking_ at me like that!"

Steven moved his hand slightly, approaching the saw to the Gem's body. Diamond could have closed his eyes, but he fought the urge. Steven's struggle was fascinating.

"I just need to do it, I just need to do it and I'll have my life back, come on, come _on_ …"

Diamond felt like he had something going on. He started to rise; hands raised. Steven pointed at him, the shield approaching Diamond's face. It was close enough that he heard it catch some of his hairs.

"You don't want to hurt me, do you?"

"I… I… _ugh!_ " The boy threw his hand down, smashing the construct into pieces. "I should! I want you gone! I want to hate you!"

Diamond didn't move. Steven's eyes kept flashing pink, but he was clearly not in control of whatever this was.

"I want to tell you I'd rather you were never made! I want to… to just _end_ you! But I can't! It's so _stupid_! I can't even be _mad_ at you right!"

Steven went down, sitting. The water seemed to become solid around him, but not like ice. It was as if he was floating right above it.

"I hate this. I hate being like this. You're ruining my life and I can't even hate you for it. I just _can't._ "

The human started to cry. The Gem didn't know what to do with that.

"Hate does not become you, Steven. You know this." Diamond approached, only to meet with disproportional resistance from the water. He couldn't move. "I'm sorry I'm upsetting you."

"You ruined things with Connie!" Steven yelled, through the tears. "You killed Jasper! You told Garnet off! You even scared my dad, and the last time I ever got to talk to him was through a _panic attack_!"

The water splashed and started rising again. Diamond felt it growing colder.

"You keep doing these _awful things_ and I have to just _take_ it; Diamond, god, why are you _like_ this? Why do you always have to pick the worst possible things anyone could do to me?"

"That's not fair. I don't do things to spite you."

"All you've done so far is to trick me into letting you ruin everything."

"Homeworld is prospering, your friends are the probl—"

"Don't you _dare_." Steven barked.

The water was starting to harden and was hurting his legs. He could feel crystals scratching through his clothes and trying to break his skin.

"My friends and family are the only reason you exist. If I didn't have them, we would have never defeated Homeworld, and this whole planet would have been destroyed!"

"Then they were useful to you at some point, but not anymore! Stars, Steven, you keep pretending most of these people aren't going to _die_ before you do!"

Steven was about to yell back, but Diamond had enough.

"Stop! Stop just thinking with your feelings! I'm right! You _know_ I'm right! How does that mean _nothing_ to you?!"

"Because I don't _want_ it to! I don't want to _think_ about it! I just want to—"

"To WHAT?"

"I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY."

Whatever Steven was doing to control this place evidently required some degree of focus. He was getting upset and worked up, and the entire Room was falling apart. Glitches, clouds disappearing and forming again, water going through all states of matter… he needed to calm the boy down, but this had been a long time coming.

"Everything I have ever done and everything I've ever accomplished has been for nothing because of you, and you have the _gall_ to come in and say that you're just making things better? You have no idea what you're talking about!"

Diamond couldn't even take a step back. Steven, however, approached him all he wanted.

"Why is it so difficult for you to understand that? Why do you not _care_?"

"I do care."

Diamond did not. He knew that, from the bottom of his heart, he didn't truly _care_ about anyone but Steven. He had positive feelings about some people, yet it never felt more important than his mission.

"I care about all of it."

"You're clearly lying." The ice hurt Diamond. It hurt parts of his body that weren't even submerged on it. He didn't know what Steven's endgame was here, but he needed to stop the boy right now. "I don't know if you ever told me the truth, even once."

"I did, I… Steven, I do care about you. You're the only one I have. I want to see you happy."

"I don't believe you."

Diamond could hear waves behind himself. From his point of view, everything was frozen, but maybe that meant Steven was calming down. Maybe he could still win this.

"How can I make you believe me?"

"I don't want to believe you. Everything you've done hurts me. It hurts everyone I love. Why can't you…?"

And, as Steven's voice died, so did the waves. So did everything. The ice slowly thawed, releasing Diamond, but he somehow felt more trapped.

Steven wore a puzzled expression, like he was finally putting something together, and it was just so close he could almost guess at the full picture.

"Steven?"

"You _can't_ feel it." He said, slowly. "Every time something happens, you keep turning dials on your head like a machine. But whenever you _feel_ something, you always… you come to ask me what's going on."

Diamond didn't immediately reply. He was starting to get confused, himself. Without the waves, the silence was deafening.

"What are you on about…?"

"You expect everything except feelings… except… me." Steven's voice drifted. His gaze left Diamond's eyes and went somewhere else, lost in thought. "You're all the Diamonds. You have all of them available to you, always. But I'm not a Diamond. I'm a human being. And I didn't join you."

"What are you talking about? You're here with me right—"

"Then where's Pink?" Steven asked, the sound of water rushing by his feet. "Where's Blue? Where's White? When it was just White and I, I could still feel her! She was with me, just not completely _there_. We weren't a unit; we were two people stuck together. Just like I am with you!"

Diamond could swear his eyes were playing tricks on him. The water rushed by his legs like it was being sucked by a giant wave, and it was almost like Steven himself was moving. Like he was getting further away.

"We are not a fusion, I'm not a part of this!" Steven talked, almost yelling. He was so far away. "I'm here because I refused to be a part of this! I'm everything you're not!"

"Steven! Calm down!" Diamond was being kept in place, but Steven was above the water now. He was going back to his original position, but still staring at him.

"I'm going to find a way out, Diamond." Steven said, echoing in his Room. "I'm going to fix this! Fix all of this!"

The rain returned. The water level rose again. Diamond felt Steven's gaze on him like knives.

* * *

Diamond didn't shout or sit up when he woke up this time. He immediately tried going back in, but there was a barrier of some kind around his own mind. Something new to worry about.

Steven had gained control over their world. Apparently, he had even successfully cut himself off. Diamond couldn't feel a damn thing from him anymore.


	14. CHAPTER 13 - I Am Diamond, Part 2

Occasionally, Pearl heard Diamond's screams from his room. She decided he would not appreciate her presence. The night was cool, the clouds were pretty, and she could use the break.

Eventually, the screaming stopped, and the sounds of the waves were everything she could hear on a warm summer night.

She grew more worried every day. It was her nature to worry about things, but not like this. She had legitimate reasons to think things were taking turns for the worst, but no plans or any idea of how to stop them.

Amethyst had been out for several days, with no communication. Garnet was spending so much time inside her own room that Pearl thought maybe Ruby and Sapphire were around, and she just hadn't noticed. The other Pearls were trying their hardest, but each was still dealing with so much, in such little time. And Steven…

Stars, she didn't even know what to think about Steven.

The porch's door opened, revealing the man himself. His eyes looked weighty, and he was still wearing much more humane clothes than she assumed he preferred at this point. Yet despite the bizarre combination of it all, his gaze was neutral. Like he didn't care about whatever he had just been screaming about for hours.

"Are you alright?" Pearl asked, not sure what to expect. Maybe he would just ignore her and go about his routine.

Diamond turned to look at her, as if deciding whether to answer. When she was about to relieve him from the social obligation, he pulled a chair and sighed.

"No. Not at all."

She stopped herself from expressing her surprise. Maybe this was what she needed. A good, heartfelt—

"I'm tired, Pearl."

"You haven't slept well in a while, yes?"

"Not that. I'm… tired of this."

Maybe the heartfelt part would have to wait.

"What do you mean, Steven?"

He sighed again, not looking at her. She watched as he rested his head on one of his hands, closing his eyes. And then said what she had already guessed a long time ago, but didn't want to accept.

"You know that's not my name."

"Oh."

She felt like reaching out but realized her hands wouldn't move. They were too busy trembling.

"I apologize."

"I don't." He kept going. "I'm tired of pretending. You wouldn't have accepted me if I had come out and said it. I'm not Steven. I'm Diamond."

She felt tears coming, but over the years, Pearl liked to think she'd at least become better at hiding them. Besides, he didn't look like he meant any harm. He genuinely looked tired, at least.

"What… happened?" She asked tentatively. Everything she knew about fusion was put into question, and it was hard to focus on what she actually wanted to know. "Why do you look so exhausted?"

He finally raised his head. The look he gave her reminded Pearl of Yellow Diamond's dreaded bad days.

"Steven won't talk to me anymore." Diamond said, heavy. She tried to ignore the splutter in her heart at hearing Steven's name. "He hates me. He hates everything I stand for. He wants to destroy me, and forget I ever existed."

"That doesn't sound like Steven…" He didn't even blink. She continued. "But you wouldn't lie right now, I presume."

"I just want to do my job, Pearl." Diamond put his back against the chair, dangling his head backwards. "Everyone gets to come to Earth and do whatever they want. No one bothers telling people they're wrong, or that they're not doing things right. It's all _progression_ for all of you, but not me. When I do it, I have to fight for it."

She knew about half of what he was talking about, but there were clearly things he was hiding. But the half that felt familiar was rather important to her.

"Feels like the whole universe is against you being happy, hm?"

He looked at her, interest peaked. "Yes. Yes, it does."

"Like everything you've been made to do isn't really appealing to anyone else, despite the fact that you do it so well?" She couldn't help but smile as his face got more and more illuminated. What a young, impressionable Gem.

"How do you…?"

"Oh, Diamond. I wish you'd been honest with us from the start." Her hand moved towards his, and it almost surprised her when he didn't pull back. "These feelings, they're what we grow out of."

"I have no growth to go through, Pearl." He said, stoic. "I came out the way I was supposed to, ready to—"

"Oh, please, get off your high horse."

He stared at her like she had been stared at for millennia. Like he was looking at a lower-class Gem. She didn't really know if the implication that such a feeling was pre-programmed into Diamonds made her feel any better.

"Excuse me?"

"The Diamonds were wrong. Rose eventually realized that." She had never put it into words, but they flowed out of her mouth like an absolute truth. It felt good. "Yes, we come out of mountains ready to obey and serve, but that isn't all we are. We choose who we are. What we do at first is just the basis of what we will become."

Pearl looked up at the stars and clouds, and easily located Homeworld's star system. It was so tiny from there. It shined so brightly.

"White Diamond was the one who could never quite understand that. The idea that even a Diamond can change… it terrified her." She looked back at Diamond, who had a puzzled look on his face. "It terrifies you, too, doesn't it?"

He didn't reply at first. He just stared at her, but with a clear flux of ideas going through his head. She didn't know if she should be concerned or happy that he was listening.

Finally, he broke his silence.

"I disagree. Things are made for a reason. If they do something else instead, then they were made wrong. The Gem Empire was made wrong. It didn't know what it was meant to do, and I am fixing it. Our relationship to Earth was made wrong; we clearly have more to gain like this than we did by harvesting the planet. I am fixing _those_. I… I don't think I have to change. I don't see why I would do that."

It was Pearl's time to sigh.

"Then no wonder Steven doesn't like you very much."

Diamond was sure that wasn't very nice, but he didn't particularly care. He was looking at the same star Pearl had been staring at for a while.

"Homeworld likes me."

Pearl smiled, softly.

"Homeworld doesn't _like_ anybody, Diamond. I think you'll figure that out."

"You're not very supportive."

She frowned ever so slightly.

"I am _very_ supportive. But you've lied to us since the beginning, and now Steven is trapped inside your head. As Amethyst would say, don't break me."

"It's _give_ me a break."

"How do _you_ know that?"

They snickered. Something inside him still had the capacity to laugh. That was good to know, at least. People got uncomfortable if he couldn't laugh.

"I don't think any of you will like what comes next." He said, somber.

"Well, I certainly don't like the tone you take when saying that."

"I just don't think there's any way you will… support anything I do."

"Maybe not." She smiled, touching him again. "But we've all been against the world. I'd love to not be your enemy, and the fact that you're sitting down with me and _talking_ to me… maybe you've got more Steven in you than you give yourself credit for. A Diamond would never sit…"

She stopped, losing herself in some memories. "Well, most Diamonds would never sit and talk to a Pearl."

"Hm." He reached for Pearl's hand on his shoulder. She felt warm. "Garnet said something similar."

Pearl didn't mind that Garnet knew. It made her behavior make a lot more sense.

"Did she take it well?"

"At first. But… we're too different."

"Strange. Garnet usually loves differences."

"We are _too_ different."

"Big fight, then."

"Yeah."

She could almost hear it in his voice. He was preparing to say the thing that actually bothered him. It was _such_ a Steven habit, to let the anxiety build up inside him until he could do nothing but let it all—

"I think I broke up with Connie." He said, not breaking his gaze to the stars.

"Why would you do that?" Both her master and motherly instincts flared up at the idea that Connie might be home right now, extremely upset and without having anyone to turn to. "She loves you."

"She loves Steven. She realized I wasn't… like that. And she left."

He looked at the ocean, starting to wonder if that wasn't the source of Steven's Room. A big, shallow ocean, that could just wash all his worries away.

"And what will you do about it?"

"Nothing."

"Surely you feel some sense of responsibility for your actions." Something about the way she said it made him more annoyed than he had been in days.

"She's just a human being. What does it matter if she likes him?" Diamond held his temples, as if trying to fight back a headache. "Organics aren't like us; they'll just expire and dust away in the blink of an eye. No matter how much we like them, it's just—" He looked at her, realizing that she was smiling. Her eyes looked almost misty. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You just remind me of myself." Her gaze turned wistful as she got up. "So much, in fact, that I know there's nothing I can say to convince you otherwise."

Diamond was confused, but Pearl simply kept looking at the stars as she continued.

"Yes, Connie is a human being. She'll probably not last long next to Steven."

"Then what's the point?" Diamond asked, somewhat exasperated. "Why do you all _care_ about humans?"

"Because they're brilliant, Diamond. Every moment they go through is incredible. We're so lucky to be a part of their world."

"But… they are finite. Weak, fragile. They'll be gone before they can experience so much of the universe, we can't even fathom how small they are."

"Yes. Beings that burn so bright, with so little permanency to them. Like an ocean all of their own." She hugged herself, lost in emotion. "Isn't it wonderful?"

Diamond didn't know how to reply. Pearl started to move away.

"Where are you going?"

"To see Greg. There are things we have to talk about." She turned to him one more time, with a more worried look on her face. "Diamond, I can't convince you to not do what you want. You would not listen to me, and you are far too powerful. But whatever happens, please know— I loved Rose, and I love Steven. And if you've got even a bit of them in you, then I love you, too. But I will protect this place. Nothing can stop me from doing so."

"I… I know." He got up, himself, without big plans as to where to go. "I hope you don't miss them too much."

"Oh, I do." She smiled. "But that's part of it."

She waved politely at him, moving away. When she thought he couldn't hear her anymore, Pearl allowed herself to cry.

_Oh, Steven. Why you, too?_

* * *

"We're ready?" Amethyst repeated, trying not to sound as nervous as she felt. "I-I mean, you sure? We only got like…"

Roxxie nodded.

"A couple Rubies, an Aquamarine who insisted on joining, few Topazes, you, me, at least another Jasper and Carnelian, almost every Rose Quartz and Amethyst in the quadrant—"

"You mean the _Famethyst_."

"And Spinel." Roxxie said, pointing at the cute, pink little gremlin entertaining the… Famethyst.

The Quartzes had a thing for her, apparently. They were all entranced by the girl, who was currently going through loops and hoops made from her own arms.

"We're ready, Amethyst. All we need is a plan."

"That sounds like a lot." She replied. Sure, back in the day she might have agreed, but this was big. If they didn't win, she had no idea what this Diamond guy would do to them. And from what happened to Jasper… "I don't know, Roxxie. Maybe we need more?"

"Hmm. I understand the strategic concern." Roxxie scratched her chin's Gemstone, a weird habit that Amethyst wouldn't admit was just like rubbing her chest Gemstone when she had heartburn. "But we're running out of obvious places to look for help. You happened to know about this Zooman place, but…"

"Excuse me!" A Ruby approached, her Gemstone shining in her left eye. She did what Amethyst had recently come to learn was Spinel's own salute. A little chest heart with her hands. "Ruby 1F4-4ND ready for duty! General Jasper, I heard you mention we are preparing a plan of attack!"

"Eyeball, you can just ask." Amethyst put her hands on her hips, back to sassing.

"Yes, General Amethyst!" Eyeball said, turning robotically towards Amethyst. "I heard you were not entirely certain about our plan of attack!"

"Ugh, just talk normal." Amethyst replied. Eyeball dropped the heart salute.

"What do you have in mind, 4ND? Eyeball, is it?" Roxxie asked, genuinely interested.

"Well." Eyeball said, slightly more relaxed. "I was talking about it with Jasper 5YN." The blank stare from both made Eyeball blush. "Uh, Skinny Jasper."

"Oooh right.", "Yeah, yeah, Skinny Jasper." Both replied in unison.

"She said that the only way this army could be any better, at this point, would be with either Garnets or more Jaspers. And we all know Garnets are exceedingly rare _and_ are currently on the side of the Impostor Diamond."

"Not sold on that nickname, but so what?" Amethyst asked, impatient. "Almost everyone is. We were lucky the Fam was still independent. Holly Agate went to join the new era as soon as she could. You saying you want to find a bunch of Jaspers?"

Eyeball nodded, looking at Roxxie. "Well? You're the best of the best, right?"

Roxxie didn't reply. Amethyst raised her eyebrow. "You that good, Rox?"

"Not me. Us." She touched her Gemstone with her fingertips, reminiscing. "The Jasper Armor Corps. Master Jasper picked us out of the entire Gem regiment herself. Diamond and his Lapis caught us by surprise, but if we had a plan… if we had the resources… nothing could stop us. Not even a Diamond."

Amethyst looked worried. "But how are we going to recruit them? I mean, they're…"

"They're _not_ on his side!" Roxxie interrupted, offended. "He's terrorizing them, he was terrorizing me! We're all looking after each other! I don't… I'm sure if we get them out there safely, they'll join us on the spot."

"But… how?" Eyeball asked, trying to pretend the idea didn't come from her. "Tourmaline's beautiful Sapphires can predict our every move!"

Both stared at Eyeball, who blushed harder. "T-they're a pleasant shade of blue."

"Just recruit them, too."

The simplest solution came from outside the conversation. All three turned around to a Spinel who had apparently been listening in, by making her ears cartoonishly big. She stretched her head up to the group, and then snatched the rest of her body like an elastic. The nonchalant way she said it made it seem so easy.

"I mean, no one really likes that guy." She continued, making little twirls with her arm to make a diamond shape. "Maybe everyone who's evil and mean, but most Sapphires are okay, right? At least the ones I used to talk to back in the day were alright."

"You used to talk to Sapphires?" Eyeball asked, looking weirdly flustered.

"Oh yeah, I mean, Blue had a bunch in her court, Pink used to visit her all the time. I mingled and stuff. They were fun. Super good at charades." She smiled at the memory, and then her smile slowly disappeared, replaced by an exaggerated scowl. "Wait a minu—they can SEE THE FUTURE, OF COURSE THEY—"

"Spinel, focus." Roxxie said, trying not to go along.

"Right! Right. Sorry… argh, gosh, if I find that little gremlin I swear—"

"Spinel!"

"We can try to reach out, okay! That's my point!" She raised her hands in the air in a sign of peace. "And, and, um, I can try to infiltrate the palace! Do a whole super-secret mission thing!"

"Uh, that sounds really complex, and like it's gonna take a long time." Amethyst crossed her arms, unimpressed. "Things are already going at a snail's pace, ya sure we have more time?"

"Yeah, I guess. But I feel like they wouldn't like their boss too much. I mean, who likes their boss?"

The Jasper guard scratched her chin, and eventually gave her opinion.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Roxxie said, pensive. "We can't recruit _everyone_ at the same time, and if Diamond finds you, you're cracked. We'll be next when he realizes you're involved. We have to—"

Sounds of light travel interrupted the guard, whose eyes became as wide as they could in shock.

The Warp turned on, and the sound of a few dozen weapons being summoned followed it. Everyone was accounted for, meaning they were being attacked. Someone found them. Someone ratted them out. Someone—

"What." Spinel said, flat. She moved towards the completely empty Warp, sans a crystal and a note in Gem glyph. "What's this, someone's mail? Hey, did you crazy girls subscribe to anything weird? What's this?"

The Famethyst looked among themselves, confused, and somewhat embarrassed. Amethyst approached Spinel and took the paper from her hand.

"It says to meet at the path to the… uh, Sand Hills? No, no, wait, _ugh_ I hate glyphs."

Amethyst shape-shifted glasses and squinted at the paper.

"Path to the _Glass_ _Forest_ during shift change." She read, confused. "What, you guys don't have clocks here, right? When's shift change? _Whose_ shift?"

Roxxie's scowl was immobile.

"I have a feeling I know."

* * *

The glass forests of Homeworld had life-forms walking its desolation, for the first time in millennia.

Light-Diamond was accompanied by about half of the Jasper Corps. He floated by himself ahead, while the warriors struggled to remain in formation behind him.

Tourmaline traveled in a small palanquin held up by four scrawny and stressed out Pearls, had two Tanzanites with her, and her remaining Sapphire along. The glass spiked and hurt the feet of all the lackeys, but their masters did not care.

Tee and Four had been called back to this. It's not like their investigation had given many fruits. Their search for the so-called Garden was going poorly; not a lot of records of Era 1 extra-Homeworld subjects had remained. Yellow and White Diamond were not fans of… reminiscing. Light-Diamond didn't much care for their "unsuccessful mission," either. They hadn't even had the chance to give him a report.

This place sucked. Tee almost felt bad for those Pearls. They weren't meant for that type of labor, and she was sure there were some Amethysts available in the palace that could have been used as muscle. This was out of spite. Tourmaline sucked.

This assignment sucked. Everything sucked. She just wanted Roxxie back.

Four slightly slapped her shoulder from behind. They were falling out of formation. As soon as they went back to their place in line, Tee felt Four's hand on her back.

Four had this way of communicating without words, sometimes. It was something subtle, but it was like Tee was being enveloped by her feelings. Not literally, but… she could tell what her completely platonic co-worker was telling her. _Me too_.

Granted, it wasn't that hard to feel what the _whole_ squad was feeling.

Light-Diamond stopped abruptly. Poor Longnose, all the way in front of the line, almost hit him from behind, from how fast the Jaspers had been running. Tee couldn't really figure out a destiny that wouldn't involve shattering if that had happened.

"This will suffice." He said, in that unnatural, neutral tone of his. "Tourmaline will make the arrangements once she arrives."

The palanquin arrived a minute or so after, and Tee could swear one of the Pearls was about to poof. The poor thing was wearing a dress, for White's sake.

Tourmaline's science ensemble left the vehicle, barely acknowledging the servants. The Tanzanites, almost copies of each other, were holding a large machine, powered by a spherical crystal. It was a bizarre power source, especially since it was clearly _not_ a Gemstone.

Tourmaline pulled out a holographic interface that moved to stay directly in front of her. She held her hands behind her back, seemingly controlling whatever she was looking at with her eyes.

"The laboratory tests imply this trial should be successful. We should see at least 40% increase in useful materials in this horrid wasteland." She looked, disgusted at the vast valley of melted glass and spikes in front of her. "Unbelievable. If I didn't know it had been an incredible source of raw Gem material for the first of us, I would just assume—"

"Tourmaline. The experiment." Light-Diamond interrupted, uninterested.

"Yes, my Diamond." She made a gesture with her head, which prompted the Tanzanites to bring out the machine. Their hunchback bodies made it hard to not slip on the glass, but they somehow managed.

Tourmaline touched some buttons on her holographic display. The crystal began to spin, emitting several rays of light that didn't seem to particularly impress the scientist.

"Field test, trial 1. Launch." She said out loud, ostensibly recording. And with the press of a button, the crystal skyrocketed out of its cylinder.

If Tee didn't know better, she'd assume it was a missile. Something that would explode upon contact with the ground. The reality wasn't that different: a large explosion of grey light slightly blinded the foot-soldiers for a second. She could still see that it didn't even make Light-Diamond flinch. He just stayed there, floating with his hands behind his back.

The grey light started as a mushroom, but then ascended into a pillar. It pierced the sky almost like a beacon, but Tee couldn't really think straight while looking at it. It was as if everything around it shifted slightly, like it was doing _something_ to the way she saw the world.

Tee felt her hand being grasped, slightly too strong. Four was terrified. No need to look at her to confirm it. Just hold her hand even tighter.

"Trial 1 proceeding as expected. Grey Light steady, beginning to fuse with the ground." Tourmaline said, writing notes and turning dials. "Prepare subject number one."

Tee heard a shout. She turned around quickly, expecting resistance, but the scene was so bizarre that she didn't know how to react.

Three of the Pearls had grabbed the fourth one. Her eyes were wide with fear and confusion. Whatever was about to happen hadn't been communicated to her, but the rest seemed to be in on it. Miserable, but aware.

"What's happening? My Tourmaline, what… what did I do?" The captive Pearl asked, her voice shaking. She was dragged by her peers up to Tourmaline.

"Pearl, walk towards the light." Tourmaline said, as if she were asking a simple favor.

"W… what will happen to me?" If this continued, Tee was going to jump. She was going to jump Tourmaline and—

"No, _no_." Four whispered next to her. "Please, don't. _Please._ "

 _Rocks_ , Tee thought. Tourmaline turned to face the Pearl, looking almost confused.

"What does it matter what will happen to you? Go on, we don't have all day. The others will carry you there if you don't comply."

She was released, immediately holding her hurt wrists. The Pearl took one look at her sisters, but what killed Tee inside wasn't even that she looked betrayed. She just looked like she got it. Like that was a part of their lives that just happened, sometimes.

Tee always thought Pearls were beautiful. Everyone thought they were lower class, or whatever, but the grace they move— their beautiful singing voices — the way they always smiled…

It took the Jasper all her willpower to not go after the poor servant. The ballerina hesitated to walk, at which point Tourmaline summoned her crossbow. An arrow on the ground by Pearl's foot made the message extremely clear. Pearl started running.

"Begin second burst." Tourmaline said, more intense than before. "Come on, don't fail me now."

From where the first explosion had happened, came a second, albeit less powerful one. It didn't matter how strong it was. It reached where Pearl was running, and her scream filled the valley like a horrific song that would never end. Tee was afraid she was hurting Four's hand, but she couldn't let go. If she did, they would all be shattered. She was going to punch both of her bosses in their faces.

Pearl was gone. There was no sign of her.

"Tanzanites, recover the specimen." Ordered Tourmaline, at which point both scientists' auxiliary tentacles came out from their back. They quickly made their way to Pearl's last stand, at which point Tee could see their faces beaming with joy.

Next, one of the Tanzanites started to cut the glass floor with a tool. The process was excruciating to listen to, like nails on a scratchboard. And then they were back.

" _Yes._ " Tourmaline said under her breath. "My Diamond, behold. _Fertile soil_."

It was like Pearl's Gemstone had exploded inside the glass. Bits and pieces of her were scattered around the glass cube that the Tanzanites cut. But it wasn't all white and perfect, like the Gemstone had been. Brown, black and blue fragments were scattered around, almost as if her components had been separated.

"What kind of Gem can you make with this, Tourmaline?" Light-Diamond put his face very close to the cube, as if trying to calculate how many different minerals was a Pearl worth. "Was your experiment successful?"

"This is about what we expected at this stage. A little over half of what the current Era 2 Gems needed to hatch. If we invested in limb enhancements, then we could cut—"

"No." He shot her down, still staring unblinking at the glass. "We aim up. We need fully capable Gems. Weapons, size, and abilities."

"Then we need more time and resources." Tourmaline quickly picked her pitch back up. "With more research, we should be able to completely break down Gems to their core components… plant useless Gems like seeds in any world, enriching local soil to our direct benefit. No longer slaves to nature's fickle randomness. No longer forced to break entire planets to find useful materials! As many Quartzes, Beryls… as many Gems as you would like, my Diamond. Maybe…"

She stopped, suddenly losing her smile. Diamond finally broke eye contact with the glass.

"Yes?"

"N-nothing, my Diamond. A slip of the tongue."

"Speak." He slowly floated closer to her, which was horrifying for the Jaspers to watch.

"Maybe even… more Diamonds, if you so choose, of course."

He didn't answer. But the thought did seem to stop his approach.

"Continue the research. This was not a waste of time, Tourmaline. Keep this up."

Diamond took to the sky, and rapidly flew away. The menagerie watched the faint white glow of their boss move away for what felt like far too long before they decided to follow him back.

"Hey," Said Longnose, with her raspy voice. "Are you okay? You looked like you were going to poof just by watching that."

"I'm livid, but I'm fine." Said Tee, trying her hardest to focus on simply moving back to the castle. "I just… I think I'm just tired."

"Of this job?"

"Of our boss."

Longnose chuckled, elbowing Tee on the ribs.

"They say every Jasper hates their boss, huh? We're like a bad stereotype."

Tee was going to simply show a grimace and move on, but Four chimed in, serious.

"That's just half the saying." Four said, attracting Longnose's curiosity. "It's _Why's every new commander a Jasper? Because_ _every Jasper hates their boss._ Jaspers shouldn't have to take this."

"Uh, yeah, okay." Longnose replied, her smile gone. "You're right."

"Not sure if that applies to Diamonds, Four." Said Tee, trying not to give her friend any ideas.

Four made a noise with her throat, like she was trying to find the difference.

"I don't know, Tee. Maybe it should." She paused, noticeably slowing down. "Do you really think we're not gonna end up like that Pearl, eventually?"

"Whoa, what?" Longnose asked, startled. "We're his personal guard, what are you talking about? He'd never…"

Four just stared at her companion, who didn't finish the sentence. Tee coughed, trying to chime:

"We're useful to him. We just have to keep being useful."

"Gem Editing means any Gem can do our jobs, doesn't it?" Asked Four. "It's only a matter of time. Imagine a Sapphire with our stronger bodies, dodging every move before they happen. Or a Bismuth with the drive to protect of a Ruby, shifting her limbs like she had a thousand weapons. Or… or us. Imagine what they'll do to _us_. She said _useless Gems_."

It felt like she had more to say, but it looked as if she was choking on her words. The rest of the Jaspers were clearly eavesdropping and looking more worried with every word. Longnose was visibly uncomfortable, but still tried keeping the group focused.

"Look, just… don't talk like this near him, alright? Or I dunno, on this _planet_. I swear he knows what we're thinking. Let's just go back and take turns investigating whatever that Garden thing was."

"Yeah." Four said, slowly. "The Garden."

The Jaspers moved to the One Throne mostly in silence, each of them with too much on their minds to really speak. None of the elite warriors was used to this kind of conflict. Master Jasper had promised the time of questions and lies was over. This was meant to be a beautiful new era of power, glory and doing what they felt was right.

Yet there they were, running towards another despot who barely cared about them. At least the Master had been kind to her peers. She understood what Jaspers wanted. She overlooked their frivolous needs as long as they did their job.

Tee missed her every day.

It wasn't until they were halfway to the castle that Tee realized someone was watching. She looked around, and apparently, she had been very distracted, because all other Jaspers were ready for the next step of whatever this was. She pulled herself together. Time to go to work.

The squadron came to a sudden halt, immediately assuming their turtling battle positions. Weapons and armor pieces came out in perfect synchrony, as there was no telling where the enemy was.

"Alright, earthworms." Four shouted, sounding annoyed. "We've got 12 of Homeworld's strongest Jaspers in perfect Mountain Formation here. Together, the Jasper Corps captured entire solar systems with nothing but our sheer power. You've been watching us for almost an hour. Give it up and show yourself."

Four's massive battle hammer hung heavy over her shoulder, and her relaxed position made her the spitting image of a confident leader.

They were surrounded by glass spikes and rock formations, in one of the most desolate areas of Homeworld. Whoever this was had guts. Maybe they thought they could win the fight.

"On the count of 5, we'll rain fire on every square inch of this wasteland until we hit something that squeals and poofs, and then we'll take you in for questioning. I'll start on 3!" Four continued, readying her hammer. "4!"

"Holy crap stop!" Spinel yelled, stretching her limbs up in a sign of surrender while she came from behind a large boulder. "What is _wrong_ with you people, we were literally just looking, it wasn't even creepy!"

"I dunno," Amethyst said, also with her hands up. "I kinda get it. Must be a crazy power trip to talk like that. Hey-o, great seeing you!" She asked Four, which barely registered the request.

"Amethyst from the Crystal Gems? And… what even _are_ you?" Her eyebrow twitched, hesitating for a moment. "Jasper Corps, shooting positions!"

Five Jaspers brought out weapons capable of shooting projectiles, forming a line horizontal to the two spies. Amethyst's smile went away, and Spinel continued to panic.

"Wait, we already surrendered!" Spinel exclaimed, making a love and peace sign with her stretchy limbs, a symbol completely unknown to almost everyone on that planet. "Oh this was _so_ much cooler in my head when it was a spy mission."

"Oh, I got it!" Amethyst said, distracted. "I thought of a cooler name for you girls. What about—"

"I'll give you five seconds to tell me what you are doing here, and what do you want. And if I think you're lying—" Four was going to keep talking, but her attention was taken by movement on her right. "And _who else_ is here?! Fire on that rock!"

The Jaspers turned all at once, raining plasma on their previous hideout. Amethyst tried yelling out a _wait!_ , but the sound of rock cracking and turning to dust muted any others. A _cease fire!_ from Four was the only thing anyone seemed capable of hearing over the cacophony.

No one said anything while the dust settled. Amethyst pulled at her hair in some degree of panic, which was offset by Spinel pulling her own hair _out_ in a much bigger, wilder degree of panic.

"What did you do?!" Amethyst yelled, Gem shining and ready to present her weapon.

"Forgot their training, that's what they did." A much deeper new voice spoke.

All the Jaspers stopped being extremely good at their jobs to react with the appropriate surprise. Four almost dropped her hammer on the floor.

From another rock formation, Roxxie came out, a little dusty and with a scraped knee, but not much worse for wear. Her chin Gemstone shined brightly, even surrounded by smoke.

"Is that how you people have been shooting since I left? Hasn't even been that long. What's Longnose been teaching you?" The burly woman smiled as she mocked her sisters, and then immediately lost her will to keep up the charade. She went towards the group and hugged as many Gems as she could.

"How… how are you here?" Tee asked, incredulous. "How did you know _we_ would be here?"

Roxxie released her hug, smiling.

"It made a lot more sense when I saw that little lady right there."

She pointed at the other side of the valley. It, in fact, made some sense, but it also raised a lot of questions.

* * *

"Connie?" Priyanka knocked on her daughter's door, a platter of sandwiches in hand. "Are you hungry, my dear? You haven't eaten anything since you got home."

"I ate on the way here, Mom." Connie answered, covered up to her chest. She stared at the ceiling almost without blinking, trying to ignore the guilty feeling of lying to her mom. She hadn't eaten for hours.

"Okay sweetie. We're going out for a while; we'll be back for dinner in three hours."

Connie never told anyone, but she was kind of scared of crying.

Not exactly because it made her feel weak or anything like that, that's what most people assumed. She was okay crying in front of her friends, but when it came to crying at home… it was always complicated. She was always afraid her mom would assume some horrible thing had happened, make her pack up her things and move to a different town.

Of course, it was a silly fear. She was a young adult, her mom wouldn't move like that, and she had cried in the past since moving there. Yet now that she felt like she _shouldn't_ cry, regardless of circumstance, Connie had to wonder if that was just what growing up was like. Enacting consequences for things you thought you'd worked through during your childhood.

The only way she really knew she was getting better is that she was starting to get the drive to look up something about childhood trauma in a book, or something like that. But at that point, she just sighed and rolled around in bed.

" _I guess we're stuck_." She hummed. That felt like a lifetime ago. "I hate that song."

Silence. Resigned sigh.

" _Stuck implies an accident, a mistake, a foul_

_But I was always aware of how the path looked after all._

_I'm not stuck, I'm free— from my dumb platitude_

_All that is now left is me and my solitude._

_Maybe if it had happened before, it wouldn't feel like this_

_Like fire, punishment, like hanging from a tree_

_Like I shouldn't have tried, like I shouldn't have come_

_Like I was right to want to run from you, continued feeling numb._

_`I have no friends, I won't be long, I'll be gone before you know`_

' _So please just leave me alone; leave me be, remain unknown.'_

_But you told me, Connie, we'll be like PB and jam_

_We'll play in the sand; we'll cuddle when it snows._

_We'll watch and gush about your favorite shows._

_God… why does it feel like such a scam._

_I thought it would be better, oh it was gonna be forever,_

_Pieces of a puzzle we never solved together,_

_A song left unfinished, an empty dancing hall_

_The warm sunshine gives way to nightfall._

_Now I'm free from my trance,_

_But all I wanted was one last dance."_

She sighed, almost upset that she was singing.

" _I guess I was stuck._

_Lost, but now found._

_So why do I just want_

_to turn back around?_

_Finish the song, dance our waltz_

_Finish the puzzle, ignore our faults—_

Her throat dried up. It was hard to sing when you started crying, exactly like she didn't want to do.

"God, what am I doing." She whispered to herself, washing her tears. "This is stupid."

"Oh, it needs more work, but I quite like it."

Connie screamed, grabbed her sword, rolled over to the floor and fell, all in one movement. It took her several more movements to untangle herself from her covers, ready in battle position, and look at the source of the voice.

"C-Captain Pearl?" She asked, incredulous.

The pink Gem was on her window, smiling innocently while seemingly floating several feet above the floor. At least, that's what it looked like — there wasn't enough space on her window for Captain Pearl to stand, and from that position Connie could only really see her head.

"What are you doing here? And how…?"

"Oh, I'm terrible— what a puerile way to start this." Pearl jumped high from what appeared to be an incredibly flimsy tree branch, somehow landing with both her feet inside Connie's room.

From that sitting position, she opened the window, scooching in for a more comfortable stance. She crossed her legs, never losing her smile.

"I really like your song, if you wanted a piano accompanying it…"

"Captain, I'm really not feeling well, do you mind if we do this later?" She lowered her sword, letting some of her worry and stress show on her face. Her voice might have sounded a bit melodramatic, because Pink Pearl's head nudged to the side, as if pitying her.

"I know, my dear. That's why I'm here. I heard about what happened."

"How?"

"I was informed by very trustworthy sources."

Somehow, Pearl made it obvious with her expression. _The entire town knows. It was very public._

"And I thought I might find you here. You seemed like the lonesome brooding type."

"I…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know how humans think of the practice. Gems are quite lonesome beings; we are used to being alone for thousands of years."

"Makes sense." She put the sword in its usual resting place, by her bed. Captain's words stuck a little too close to home. "Hey, thank you, and I'm really sorry for this, but I really don't think I want to talk about Gem stuff right now."

"I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about you."

Connie's confused expression was not an explicit invitation for Captain Pearl to walk into the room, but she took it anyway.

"Don't worry, Connie. I know you don't like me that much."

"What?" Connie chuckled nervously. "Why would you think something like that?'

"Because I'm made to know when I'm not pleasing." Pearl said, almost monotone. "And ever since our little trip, you've been avoiding me."

"Um… sorry?"

"It's okay. I just want to know how you're doing."

Connie sat on her bed, feeling somewhat disarmed. Pink had hit her with an emotional one-two punch, and she was exactly used to being confronted like that.

"I'm… fine." She broke eye contact, staring at her mattress, now lacking covers. "Kinda."

Captain Pearl sat on her bed, elegantly. She reminded Connie of their Pearl so much, but the way she acted was completely different. So much warmer, yet clearly in complete control of the conversation. Like she was made to guide, not just to serve.

"What does ' _kinda'_ look like, then? You didn't seem to be that ' _fine_ ' before."

"I… thought I was alone." She blushed. Connie had almost forgotten the beginning of the interaction. "You could have told me you were watching."

"And stop a young lass's sorrowful solo? Stars forbid." Yeah, Connie saw something behind her smile. Not exactly mockery, but some sardonic understanding of how things go, added to a genuine amusement at reality.

But it wasn't _bad_ , per se. Almost like an older sister.

"Connie, singing is second nature to me. I do it on command for others, but when I'm alone, I do it because I need to let something out."

Captain Pearl reached for her hand. Her working eye was full of empathy. Connie assumed Pearl had gone through this kind of drama before, even if it was unstated.

"What do you need to let out?"

Connie felt a knot closing in her throat. It wasn't tears, but her chest felt heavy, and her mouth dry. Apparently, that was a pretty loaded question right now. One she didn't know where to start answering.

But Pink Pearl was patient. She slid over towards Connie, never letting go of her hand. Connie was not used to having other people so close. But it didn't feel like her personal space was being invaded. Some vulnerability she didn't usually interact with was making itself known, and it felt good to have someone else around.

"I miss Steven, but that's not the problem." She started, trying to make sense of the mess that was in her head. "I'm upset that I was lied to. And I'm scared I'm never gonna see my friend again. But…" The words died on her lips. She didn't want to cry again.

"Yes?"

"I don't know. It's just… a lot."

"Hmmm… could be it that you feel bad for another reason?" Pearl's question seemed innocent enough. And, completely out of nowhere. Connie must have shown that on her face. "Those things sound pretty obvious, Connie, and you wouldn't be so conflicted over obvious things. You are too smart for that."

She didn't like being led like this, but Pearl was _good_.

"Maybe this is a good thing."

It came out of her like something she should be sorry for. Like a crass word or an inappropriate thing to say, in any circumstance. But Pearl just held her hand tighter.

"Do you think so?"

"I… don't think I could deal with Steven like this."

Connie didn't make eye contact, but that felt very rude, so she forced herself to look at Pearl's face. The smile disarmed her.

"Ever since he fused with White Diamond, it's— it became really… it wasn't the _same_. I'm used to change, but he was always so consistent with me before… but I thought, hey, I'm gonna get older one day. Maybe it will make more sense then. But now he's not even himself anymore, and the person that replaced him just lies and cheats to get his way…? I don't even know if this is something I can save him from."

"Save him? But he willingly fused with the Diamonds."

"I know! But he didn't even…" Oh, there it was. She realized as it came out of her mouth. "But he didn't even tell me!"

She became aware that Captain Pearl was still holding her hand and realized how much she needed that right now. The slightly lower tone of voice compared to her sword master also helped her feel like she wasn't betraying anyone's trust. Surely Captain wouldn't tell…?

"It sounds like you feel betrayed, a little bit." Captain Pearl's eye darted slightly, almost as if she was reading something. "Maybe even left behind?"

"Left behind." Connie wondered, like trying to figure out how to add the words to a puzzle in her mind. "Steven doesn't leave me behind, does he…?"

"Well, have you ever felt like this in the past?"

"I…" Jasper. Aquamarine. Homeworld. And then the fusion with White. He always did just leave, didn't he? "I… guess."

But did she _hate_ that? That sounded far too harsh.

"I feel like that, but… hm." She paused, trying to organize her thoughts. Make a system out of it, color-code everything into a tightly constructed binder. Steven, herself, Stevonnie, her feelings, there had to be something there—

"And why do you feel like that?" Pearl didn't exactly take her out of her process, but the question was just vague enough to give her some direction.

Connie gently took her hand back, and covered her mouth with both hands, almost as if she was praying. She liked to focus like that, Space Camp friend got her into it. It made her feel like her upper torso was working on some weird exercise. She didn't even notice Captain Pearl blink slightly faster when their contact was broken.

"Because I could have helped." She said, slowly. "I couldn't help with Jasper, but right after that, I learned how to fight. And then I could help… I _did_ help, and Stevonnie helped, but then he still surrendered to Homeworld without a fight."

Everything falling together. The spark of excitement over an enigma being solved burning bright in her heart.

"We figured it out, but then he does this, and now he's not even _here_ anymore. And even if he comes back…"

She stopped, feeling an awful cold sensation in her stomach. Pearl chimed in, moderately.

"You don't think he'd stop doing things like this?"

"I don't." Connie turned towards her impromptu therapist, looking much more shocked than she assumed. "I think this is just what he does. He just… jumps in and saves people."

"And what do you think of that?"

"I love that. I love him _for_ that." Connie held her head, her mind blank as if these feelings had always been obvious. "But that's not what I want. I want to help him. I want to help everyone. I want to… to do it myself."

Pearl let the silence hang, watching Connie's eyes look right through her, as if basking on the revelation. It wasn't the time to talk. Connie had to get there by herself.

"I want to do it myself." She repeated. "I can do it by myself."

Pink Pearl's smile changed, even if Connie didn't notice. It went from a kindhearted and sweet smile into one that was still that, but with a hint of pride. An artist appreciating a job well done.

* * *

Diamond didn't want to think about how pathetic it was that he was just sitting in his empty dome, with all the lights off, looking at practically broken televisions. He was absolutely thinking about it, of course, and it annoyed him.

Why hadn't he just gone to Homeworld, already?

The question kept nudging itself into his thoughts, in a self-defeating attempt to get him off his broken throne room. He should obviously just go back to Homeworld. He wasn't wanted nor needed here, and this stupid attempt at ruling from a distance had started because of Steven.

Ah, that's when the question answered itself. He hadn't gone back to Homeworld because he feared Steven.

 _I don't fear Steven_ , he corrected himself, almost policing his thoughts. _I don't fear anybody_.

But he did, and he knew it. Deep down, as far as he allowed himself to go, he didn't know what the boy was planning. He was almost completely cut off from him. Anything more than a primal sense of preservation was almost entirely lost on him, at this point.

What could Steven do, anyway?

The boy was weak, and fragile. Just because Diamond liked him didn't mean he _had_ to matter. At least this distance had helped make that clear. He was immature, and emotional, and everything Diamond _hated_ on every single one of these meat blobs that he called fellow humans.

_And yet, here I am, sitting on a throne connected to no one, ruling nothing. Over this boy._

He got up, frustrated with himself. He tried adjusting the Light, but nothing seemed to quite work. Apparently, Steven frustrated every Diamond equally, with his _love_ and _feelings_. And, unfortunately, he was quite capable of feeling completely sick of it.

 _That idiot would probably sing his sorrows away if he were me._ He caught himself thinking, although refusing to give the thought any merit. He'd rather crack than singing. Even if it made him closer to Steven, maybe they could even talk again, maybe— _No._

"I have to get out of here." He said to himself, not sure why, and not entirely certain on what _here_ entailed. He decided _here_ currently referred to the unlit monument to his failure.

Luckily the door was analog. He opened it, and noticed it was the afternoon of the next day. The sun was setting over the horizon, inundating the beach with warm, orange light. And in the middle of the view, a thin silhouette caught his eye.

For the first time in a significant amount of time, Diamond felt his — or, maybe, _his_ — heart flutter.

"Connie?" He asked, hopefully loud enough for her to hear.

The girl turned around, with a small hint of hesitation present in a gaze otherwise filled with determination.

"Diamond." She said, clenching her fists. "I have something to say to you."

He fought the instinct to raise an eyebrow. He could feel something bubbling up inside his chest, and he was having an increasingly harder time holding on to his composure. "Very well. Go ahead."

She approached, and a bombardment of feelings hit Diamond's consciousness. Love, happiness, fear, joy, anger — yes, Steven was awake, and he was _absolutely_ trying to claw himself out of wherever he had been sulking from. Diamond felt a massive headache behind his temples and struggled to remain still.

"I don't…" Connie started, but interrupted herself. Her eyes moved away from his gaze for a second, but she forced them to stare back into those alien geometric shapes he called pupils. "I don't want to be with you forever."

It was like Steven was _punching_ from inwards, but Diamond held. Maybe his confusion helped.

"You made that clear, Connie. I didn't intend on reaching out, out of respect."

"I'm not just talking about you."

And then _nothing_. Diamond felt a void where once was fierce power trying to expand. Like a cold shower had washed away everything that ailed him. He didn't feel _better_ , but he felt like himself.

"Oh?"

"This is not your fault." It was as if Connie were rehearsing words she had come up with before, but no longer believed their power. Either way, she pushed through. "You didn't ask to be here, or to… deal with me."

Diamond was fully capable of feeling surprised, it turns out.

"Yes." He whispered, taken aback. "Y-yes, that's right. I didn't want to be here, I…"

"Please." Connie raised her hand. Maybe it had been his open surprise, but she seemed calmer. "I need to do this."

He went quiet. She continued.

"Steven got himself into this mess without talking to anyone, without telling anyone, and without thinking. He just wanted to solve the problem. He can't stay still when people suffer. That's why… that's why I love him."

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second. When she opened them again, they reflected the warm light of the scenario far more brightly.

"I can't do this for the rest of my life."

His hands were shaking. His legs felt weak. His stomach turned, cold and empty. But Diamond was mesmerized.

"I love Steven, and… I-I guess that means I love you, too. Kinda." She blushed, somehow looking confused. "I don't know. But he was okay with… _killing_ what he was, throwing out his life after everything we've been through. He didn't even ask for my help, I wasn't even there when it happened."

"I'm sorry." He blurted, not quite sure if that had come from him or not.

"No, no. That's just what always happens. We've only been friends for so long because he let me help, he let me be a part of this and let me do _my_ part. I love being a part of his life, but I'm… not. Not when it matters. I'm only here for him before and after. He'll _always_ jump first and alone, and…"

She clenched her fists, as if trying to force something out of her.

"And I… I am _so_ _tired_ of running towards Steven."

"I… I—"

Connie approached him and touched his hand. Something about the gesture stopped some of the struggle inside him but generated something else. Some sort of hunger. Yearning? Something he'd never felt before.

Is this what Steven felt like, all the time?

"I know this isn't on you, Diamond, but if Steven's still in there, I… need to say this. Steven, this doesn't change how I feel, or how I've ever felt for you. I don't… _really_ want to never see you again. But with things the way they are now, and with us being the people that we are, I think it's best if we're not… _us_. Together."

Diamond felt like he had never been closer, yet further away from someone else. He was physically touching Connie, yet she felt unreachable. Like a star he could only look at from a distance.

 _It's not just me,_ the Gem heard himself think, as he sunk ever further from his consciousness. _Oh, Steven… don't do this to yourself. Please._

Connie let go of his hand after a couple seconds, but it was immediately grabbed back, this time with desperate ferocity.

"Wh— Hey! You're hurting me!"

Diamond's giant body fell on its knees, his pupils round and wide as if he were a child cowering in fear.

"CONNIE!" Steven yelled, tears on his eyes, his whole body shaking. "It's me! IT'S ME! I promise it's me! Please listen!"

"Steven…?" Connie stopped trying to pull her arm back, stunned. "Are you… is it really you?"

"I'm so sorry!" He stumbled on his words, still holding on to Connie for dear life. "I messed up, I keep messing up, and I ruined everything, and I'm _so sorry_ , it's never gonna happen again just please stay—"

"Steven." She touched her face. He stopped talking. Connie was crying too, but she wore a calm smile on her face. "It's okay, but… I'm not going to stay. Not like this."

"But…" He started, suddenly feeling all the weight of what he was about to say. "But I love you. You said you would stay."

"I love you too." She gently pulled her arm out, holding her wrist. "But that's not what this is about. I don't think that was ever the problem."

"Please." He got up, holding out his arms. The blood must have gone to his head too fast, because he felt like he was going to pass out. "Just tell me what I have to do. Tell me how I can solve this. I… I'll be better, I'll fix it. I promise!"

Connie looked at Steven's new body, so much taller than she was, but inside, just about what she expected.

"It's not broken."

"You promised me in Homeworld you wouldn't leave me!"

"But you did." Connie's eyes grew heavier. She hadn't put it into words until that moment. "I'll see you around, Steven."

She turned, and she left. The further away she walked, the more Steven realized that this was it. That was the culmination of everything he'd done these past months. The love of his life getting more and more distant from him.

The body he inhabited fell to the ground, limp and empty. Diamond's consciousness felt like it had arms, legs, and a torso again. The night's first shadows started to overtake the light, covering his world in a cold embrace.

Diamond rose up, holding his head.

"Steven." He said to himself, as if looking for the boy. Nothing. "Steven, what…"

Outside of his influence, his Gem started to glow. Confused, Diamond reached for it, before being dominated by a sharp pain in his chest.

He hunched over, screaming. The glow became more and more pronounced, until he was almost blinded by it. This wasn't Steven. This felt different. It almost felt like he was taking damage.

And then the glow stopped, and his brain was flooded with days' worth of information. He passed out.


	15. CHAPTER 14 - Fullmetal Jasper

Light-Diamond had never felt upset before, but the half-squadron stationed before his throne made him think that maybe, just maybe, whatever was growing inside his chest was frustration. He got off the chair and floated down, walking around the few remaining warriors.

"Squad leader, report to me." He said, scanning the six Jaspers with his eyes. They all looked confused and worried. They also looked incredibly afraid of him. "What is the meaning of this?"

"S-Sir, My Diamond, I am Jasper K—"

"I don't care."

"Yes, of course, My Diamond." The Jasper had a Gem on her eye and seemed unable to look directly at her master. "I… don't know."

"The Jasper Corps are operating at a mere 30% capacity. The others should have been back by now. I demand an explanation."

"I don't know, sir, they were with you." She said, stuttering. "I can't begin to—"

Jasper never finished her sentence. Light-Diamond pierce her armor with his hand, poofing the Gem instantly. The others stumbled and recoiled, grunting in anger and fear.

"You are incompetent." The apparition said, floating slightly above the air. At least one Jasper thought that his face was an impeccable mask, mimicking their kind perfectly. "You have failed me again and again. You failed your old master. It was a mistake relying on you. You will be retired and repurposed through Gem Editing."

"What?! _Screw_ it." A Jasper yelled, materializing a gladius on her hand. "I'm not gonna take this without a fight."

"Don't!" The one by her side grabbed her arm. "Don't you remember how this went last time…?"

"What are we supposed to do, just _take_ it?!" The sword-wielder freed herself, staring at the floating clone. "I'd rather be shattered than have to take another order from this _thing_!"

"Very well." Light-Diamond said, suddenly flying directly, and then through the warrior. Her Gemstone fell to the ground with a loud _clink_ , and the sound of several weapons being summoned filled the halls.

"Corps! Mountain!" One of the Jaspers yelled, ordering the rest to position. Light-Diamond did not react.

He was going to continue his purge, but something caught his attention. The clone turned around towards the main door, unsure of what he was hearing.

"Is that sound… rubber?" He asked out loud, as if expecting the warriors to answer him.

As if to say yes, the door opened to a giant pink, rubbery fist breaking the entrance, hitting Light-Diamond in full. He flew across the hall into the wall behind the Throne, crushing a hole where he landed. He stared at the attackers, and, maybe for the first time, felt genuine confusion.

There were the rest of the Jasper Corps, fully equipped and ready to attack. Mixed in with them, there were several, objectively weaker Gems from multiple eras. And in front, an overcooked Amethyst, and a strange-looking Spinel. He knew all of them, but almost refused to acknowledge their names.

"FULLMETAL JASPERS!" Amethyst yelled, pointing at their target. "ROLL OUT!"

With a war cry, all the Jaspers rushed forward, some of them rolling, some of them launching projectiles to cover the advancement of ground units. While most of the squadron was busy attacking, Tee and Four attended to the others who had no idea what was going on.

Roxxie approached Amethyst, smiling.

"You really gonna push that name now?"

"Hey, we might all die in five minutes, let me have my fun." Amethyst replied, summoning two whips. "Just like the plan, right?"

"Yeah. Topazes!" Roxxie yelled, watching Light-Diamond regain his composure as he effortlessly dodged attacks and blocked projectiles with his shields. "Step one, go!"

Two Topazes nodded silently and jumped into the fray. Light-Diamond dodged one of them but fell into the other's route. The first one seemed to be expecting that turn of events, because while the second one held Light-Diamond with a strong grip, the partners fused.

The clone did not integrate with the fusion. Instead, it was like he was sticking out of a larger body, like a tumor growing out of the Topaz fusion. He was as nonchalant as ever.

"This will not stop me." He said, making a shield. Topaz felt her entire body start to inflate, but she held on. This was expected.

"Aquamarine!" Roxxie yelled as Aquamarine flew past her head, grinning from ear to ear.

"Gosh, I'm going to enjoy this." With her wand, Aquamarine pointed at the enemy, and a beam of light hit Light-Diamond's head.

Light-Diamond's shield expansion seemed to stop. He didn't seem able to move.

"Jasper Corps!" Roxxie said, at which point, Amethyst coughed. "Fine. _Fullmetal_ Jaspers! Attack!"

Shots were fired once more, aimed specifically at Light-Diamond's exposed limbs and head. He could do nothing but take the projectiles, and the impact kept rocking Topaz back and forth. The fusion held, but this was clearly taking its toll on her.

"Hey, Roxxie." Aquamarine said, holding her wand with two hands. "Just letting you know this is getting rather difficult, it's like he's… ugh, that's not good."

Roxxie's gaze went back to the enemy, who was clearly vibrating inside his two prisons. He was forcing his way out of the tractor beam. But this, too, was expected.

"Alright, everyone get ready for Step 2." Roxxie said, at which point Spinel screamed in righteous fury.

Amethyst spawned her whips and Spinel's arms stretched onto the floor. When Roxxie gave the signal, the Topaz fusion was undone, which left Light-Diamond under Aquamarine's influence alone. That did not last.

As he exploded out of her tractor beam, knocking her off the air, Amethyst enveloped the enemy with her weapons. The creature clearly grew frustrated, and, although completely covered in black, spiky whips, Light-Diamond flew around the room, taking Amethyst along.

Spinel seemed ready for it. She immediately grabbed Amethyst by her feet, spinning around like they were a merry-go-round.

"Squad, get ready!" Roxxie yelled, and five Jaspers showed up by her side, weapons in hand. "Spinel, ground him!"

Spinel grunted with effort, stretching and making Diamond into an improvised morning star. Amethyst managed to leave the move and land safely, and the enemy was thrown right in front of the awaiting Jaspers, opening yet another hole in the ground. Light-Diamond tried getting up, but was interrupted by several Jaspers attacking him, and landing multiple hits.

"This is working!" Amethyst called, excited. "We're beating his butt!"

At that point, as if to disprove her, all Jaspers were thrown away, as Light-Diamond flew off their range, attacking Roxxie directly. Amethyst screamed, but at least he didn't manage to poof the squad leader.

"This is futile." Light-Diamond said. "Your struggle is a waste of our time. You will all be Edit—"

"STEP THREE!" Roxxie yelled, at which point, Light-Diamond's vision was encumbered. His head had been covered with a pink bubble.

Then his arms, then his legs, then his torso. Different pink bubbles that greatly reduced his movement. The last one released Roxxie from his grip.

He turned around, looking for the source of the attack, and then he found them. An entire battalion of Rose Quartzes, seemingly out of nowhere, all pointing their hands at him.

"Come on, girls!" One of them spoke, in an annoying, maternal tone. "Everyone gets a shield! You know what you're doing!"

Light-Diamond was soon covered by a shield the size of his entire body. And then another one, as an added layer. And another one. With each, he felt more and more constrained. How were they doing this? How did they coordinate so well?

No matter.

"Stop." He said, but the shields kept forming. He felt the bubbles growing so as to lock him into position. " _Stop._ "

No response. No one was listening to him. These weaklings were actually getting the best of him.

" _I COMMAND YOU TO STOP._ "

And with an outburst, he popped their bubbles. A greatsword appeared on his hand, and with one movement one of the shields broke. A Rose Quartz screamed in reaction. There were not enough shields in the world that could stop him.

"Ridiculous." Light-Diamond said. He slashed away another shield. "You will all be recycled into productive members of this world."

Another one.

"I will not take any more of this insubordination."

And another. So few constructs remained between him and the rebelling army.

" _Stop this at once_."

"Uh, we on schedule?" Asked Amethyst, clearly terrified. Spinel gulped audibly on her side.

"I think so, we just need them to follow through." Roxxie said, still sore from the surprise attack. "Roses! Hang on! We all depend on you right now!" She turned around to the rest of the squad. At this point, the ones that had been poofed in battle were coming back. "Corps! All together! Landscaping!"

Dozens of Jaspers moved closer, first row pointing melee weapons, second and third rows pointing projectiles, and back rows ready to take over when the others needed to retire or reload.

The shields were getting more power dedicated to them, but Diamond was nearing freedom. The more he fought, the more Amethyst was sure this thing was a monster. It wore Steven's face, but there was no way it had anything to do with her best friend. Even more reason to be doing all this.

"Steady!" Roxxie yelled, hand up.

"STEADY!" Last shield. Cracks. The last Rose Quartz was on her knees.

"NOW!"

Roxxie's hand formed a fist, and the projectile rows opened fire just as Light-Diamond broke through the final line of defense. The lasers connected, but he was ready for it. His greatsword was in front of his body and acted like a lightning rod, taking all the hits like they were harmless energy to him. It was clearly hard to maintain steady flight being pushed like that, however.

Whoever had spears on the first and four rows threw them as hard as they could, in a way that there were at least three points where Light-Diamond was always being attacked. Shield fragments kept coming up all around him, but the spears and lasers kept breaking through them, and his struggle with his sword was starting to weigh on him.

He grunted, becoming decidedly less stoic.

"I will _not_ be defeated by second-class warriors, caretakers and _clowns_!"

Light-Diamond deflected the major beams with a movement of his sword. With perfect timing, he launched himself in the opposite direction.

He hit the ground with a lot of force but managed to land on his feet. The Jaspers in the first row who had melee weapons followed him, attacking almost immediately, but he pushed them through with another shield. This one, however, broke much more easily than the others. Noticing this, he floated backwards, moving closer to the exit.

"How?" He asked out loud, his mind racing. "How could you possibly be this organized?"

"My Diamond!" Said a desperate voice from behind him.

He turned around for a familiar voice. When he saw why Tourmaline had been so distraught, it all made sense.

Tourmaline and her entourage were captured, surrendered by a large group of Amethysts. In front of them, a Ruby, a Sapphire, and a grotesque dark Gem with a deformed Gemstone sticking out her head. The Sapphire held a large spherical device that Light-Diamond recognized all too well.

This had all been a distraction.

"No." He said, turning his back on the Jaspers. "You will return the Gem Editing technology back to the lab, _right now_."

"Gem Editing is no more." Right Sapphire said, calm. "This is the last device that exists. Within it, the last crystal sphere that you collected off-world."

"My Diamond! It's not my fault!" Tourmaline shrieked, trying to rid herself of a much larger, much stronger Amethyst. "This stupid Sapphire planned it all! She fooled us all! I couldn't know!"

Light-Diamond did not respond. Even if all scientists survived this rebellion, Sapphire was implying that the laboratory had been destroyed. Without that device, all their progress would have been for nothing. They would have to start from scratch.

"STEP FOUR!" Roxxie yelled, bringing him back to battle. He was swarmed by Amethysts on one side, and Jaspers on the other. The three smaller Gems stayed together outside.

He made a shield around himself, but it was quickly broken. Another one, this time a much smaller, concise bubble, and he watched as both groups attacked it relentlessly. This was almost the worst-case scenario.

"Sapphire? What now?" Ruby asked, excited. "Is this all going well?"

"Not yet." She said. "Everything has worked as I've foreseen it. We are in a good timeline. But it can still go horribly wrong."

On her left, Corundite started shaking. Ruby immediately switched sides and held her hand. The former Sapphire calmed down, albeit still scared.

Light-Diamond had a choice to make.

"My mission is to rule Homeworld in Diamond's absence." He said, more to himself than to his enemies. "You are in the way of that mission."

He stopped, staring directly at the future-seer. In a strange gesture, he closed his eyes. Time stopped within his mind, a million calculations being made, every step taken being evaluated, until finally his eyes opened away.

And in that moment, Sapphire knew.

"My mission is not to innovate. You will be destroyed for the sake of Homeworld."

Light-Diamond exploded his bubble, throwing the closest attackers away. He flew, sword in hand, in Sapphire's direction.

She never stopped smiling.

"Thank goodness," the future-seer said, as Diamond pierced her exposed Gemstone.

In that one second, time stopped moving for Eyeball. The sound of Sapphire's form poofing, the loud, violent crack of her Gemstone breaking apart in millions of pieces, disintegrating due to the force. She'd seen so much before, but _this_ —

Diamond soared, coming back down and picking up the Editor.

"Your main source of intelligence is gone. Surrender. This is the end." He said, but then he realized Corundite was still there. "Ah, yes. The Edited Sapphire."

He swung his sword up, aiming for the large Gemstone on her head. Eyeball screamed, tackling Corundite away.

As they touched, light emanated from both Gems, and their shapeless forms fell away from Light-Diamond's attack. All watched as a fusion took place, leaving the palace to go towards the front.

A hulking, dark woman emerged from the light.

She was as tall as Diamond. The fusion had four arms and short, curly hair. Her muscles ripped through the fabric of her clothes, but in an unnatural way. Almost as if her clothes were too small for her body. And then she turned around.

"Oh, _stars_." Spinel let escape, taken aback.

Her face was far too small for two Gemstones. Corundite's deformed sapphire took the place of a large left eye, peeking out of the side of her head like a tumor. Eyeball's ruby was right above it, but both had a sick, coppery color scheme, almost as if unpolished. Where a right eye would probably fit, a sharp coppery spike stuck out, which made Amethyst cringe just from how easy it would be to damage it.

Light-Diamond, recovered from the distraction, moved to attack once more, but the fusion didn't let him. She roared.

Something deep within Amethyst knew that whatever sound came out of that fusion's mouth was the rawest, most animalistic sound any Gem in that place could possibly make. Everything about it made no sense. Every Gem was created for a reason, everyone there had a skill they could perform forever without ever getting bored of it.

But that… that was something different. It wasn't even like Alexandrite, who was all fury. It was like a new lifeform had just realized that it wasn't meant to be, that it had come out wrong, and it _hated_ it. A Gem stuck between a side that could obey, and a side that had been broken and put back together, like a toy to be used.

While she screamed, the fusion's Gemstones shined, and she used two of her hands to reach inside. She pulled two of Eyeball's knives, but they were soon covered by more of the coppery, brown substance that her Gemstone seemed to be made of. By the time she was done, she held two unshapely, rough rock clubs.

And with one violent movement, she pummeled Light-Diamond's side, much faster than any Sapphire.

The clone flew parallel to the ground, finally stopping his momentum by floating. He held his sword with two hands and tried to set a trajectory towards the enemy, but the broken fusion quickly caught up to him, hitting him in full like a meteor.

"I… what am I looking at?" Four asked, disturbed. "What kind of Gem is that, even?"

"We can ask her afterward." Roxxie said, not realizing how she'd referred to the fusion. "Alright ladies, on me!"

The Corps came back together, listening to their field leader's instructions.

"Titan!" Roxxie roared, and several of the Jaspers smiled. Some of them flinched.

"Ooh, ooh, can I?" Amethyst asked, suddenly excited. "Come on, you kept telling me about it!"

Roxxie had to ignore Amethyst. This was delicate work. She walked towards her sisters, and a light hum started. So many Gemstones synchronizing, you could hear it emanating from them.

Amethyst didn't mind, really. The experience of watching it would be worth the wait.

An explosion nearby took her focus away, but all Jaspers kept at their ritual, unabashed by external stimuli. A building nearby had just fallen due to the fight. Screaming and panic spread across the streets now that the fight was public.

The fusion and Light-Diamond didn't seem to much care about collateral damage, with public property being damaged by both of their attacks. It didn't seem like the fusion could fly, but she was so fast and so strong that it barely mattered.

"Yo Famethyst!" Amethyst said, catching the group's attention. "There's people down there who have no idea what's going on and might get hurt! Get at it!"

"Aye!" One of the largest Amethysts said, starting to deliver orders. "Half of you, with me! You, you and you, stay with the nerds! The rest go look for survivors on the ground level, help who you can!"

The battalion obeyed immediately, and it was always weird seeing a lot of Amethysts obeying orders. They left quickly, but that interested Amethyst much less than the fact that the fight seemed to be coming back around in their direction.

"Oh no." She said.

A couple Rose Quartzes came from the back, setting up a shield in front of the now-glowing mass of Jaspers and their surrounding allies. Spinel hugged Amethyst, wrapping around her many times.

"Hang on!" The pink Gem said, and Amethyst braced for impact.

The two combatants crashed right through the shield, which diverted their fall somewhat. Light-Diamond fell closer to the entrance of the One Throne, while their supposed ally fell face first on the ground, opening a massive hole by Amethyst and Spinel.

"Hey! Eyeball and company! You guys okay?" Spinel asked, stretching her head closer to the epicenter.

The fusion stood up with a sudden movement, which startled Spinel's head away.

"GROSSULAR." The fusion yelled, and that was just apparently how they talked.

"Uh, okay, yeah obviously." Spinel tried to save face, failing miserably. "Y-you go girl! Grossular! Grossular them up, girl."

"GROSSULAR!" Grossular yelled again, leaving the hole she was in.

She summoned two more clubs, quad-wielding her weapons while she looked for her opponent. He was nowhere to be seen.

The fusion finally looked up, and Light-Diamond had risen and was coming down, sword in hand. She threw a club up and dodged at the last minute, losing one of her weapons to his swing. Light-Diamond was hurt, but still very capable. He stared down at Grossular as if he were inspecting prey.

And at that point, a second light show began. The mass of Jaspers started to fuse.

"Absolutely _not_." Light-Diamond said, turning around and flying towards the group.

Amethyst and Spinel intercepted his advance, with Amethyst using two whips to make a net, and Spinel punching down from above once he was stopped. Grossular came in by jumping with her clubs pointing down, which Diamond took with multiple shield layers and his sword. Most layers broke immediately, but in the end, Grossular was standing on top of his last shield, beating her rock clubs on its surface.

Above her, he could see Spinel winding up for another large punch. On the side, he could see Amethyst cracking her whips to help. Grossular screamed louder and louder, as if every attack made her angrier.

In the middle of a clubbing, her body began to phase and glitch, as if she couldn't maintain her form. She dropped her weapons and held her head, touching the large Gemstone like it hurt. She rolled over the shield, and Amethyst dropped her own weapons to try to help her ally out.

This was the chance Light-Diamond needed. Shield down, he quickly flew up and attacked Spinel directly. Her fist still went down, but the sudden upset caught off-guard, and she felt her momentum working against her.

He collided with the pink Gem in full, who, before being cut, managed to stretch her limbs to pull herself away, towards the palace. Light-Diamond was about to follow, but his strategy was interrupted by a loud noise of something incredibly large moving.

A yellow giant rose from the ground, fully armored from head to toe. The armor was clearly made of the same hardened material that Master Jasper's helmet used to be made from. There were no visible Gemstones, all protected by the armor. It was like a statue given life, holding a shield in one hand and a gladius on the other. From Amethyst's perspective, it was like the titan stood almost as tall as the palace itself.

"YEEEAH!" She yelled, still hanging on to Grossular. "FULLMETAL JASPER! IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN I— AAAH!"

Amethyst's incredibly loud fangirling was interrupted by Light-Diamond being swatted away like a fly towards her direction, which she had to dodge. Grossular roared more, but with the startle, she came undone. Eyeball and Corundite lay confused on the ground, with Amethyst still holding the former Sapphire.

"Wha… what happened?" Eyeball asked, dazed. "G-Grossular… Corundite? We were… so angry…" She tried getting up, but her knees failed her. Corundite was similarly exhausted.

"You girls okay?" Amethyst asked, while Light-Diamond got up. He completely ignored them.

"Jaspers cannot hope to challenge a Diamond, no matter how many." Light-Diamond said, holding his sword with both hands. "When this is over, no Jasper will ever be hatched from a useless planet ever again."

Fullmetal Jasper roared, and dozens of different voices yelled out at once, while just as many spears appeared behind her, floating in midair.

Light-Diamond lunged forward, sword in hand, but he was easily deflected by their massive shield. Fullmetal Jasper's flying spears each took point at the enemy, hurling themselves from mid-air like they were being thrown by invisible giants.

The clone dodged two of the spears before deciding to fight back. He held open his arms to create a massive shield that held a third spear by its tip, and flew around it to grab the giant weapon by its larger portion.

The giant's sword came down at him, but he threw the great spear with incredible speed. Fullmetal Jasper took the blow to her chest, being dragged back as the spear disintegrated after impact.

Light-Diamond didn't flinch. He flew high, higher than the giant, higher than the castle, and held his sword with both hands. The dictator started to descend as fast as he could, using the sword as a spearpoint. No matter how armored she was, she couldn't defeat a meteor.

While their master balanced herself, three of her summoned spears pointed up, starting to spin. Light-Diamond didn't have time to think about what he was seeing. Spheres of energy were accumulating on their tips. And once they became large enough, they fired.

The lasers combined halfway through, which didn't help him. His momentum was completely thrown off because of the attack, not to mention the damage he received. Eventually, Light-Diamond had enough focus to summon a protection that took the last legs of the bolt. The energy cleared to show him Fullmetal Jasper, fully recovered and aiming a spear right at him.

She threw the spear as hard as she could, which was far more than his already-weary shield could take. The construct broke in a dozen pieces, sending him flying away.

"Impossible." He said to himself, resuming flight just before hitting the floor.

Light-Diamond almost fell close to Amethyst and the others. Luckily for them, he was far too focused on battle to pay attention.

"This is crazy." Amethyst said. Even if she was excited, this was terrifying. "That freak doesn't want to quit."

"Uh-oh." Spinel pointed at Fullmetal Jasper, who was starting to glitch. "I don't think they got a lot longer in them, Amethyst. What do we do?"

"What do you mean, what do we _do_? Either they beat him or we're dead!"

She recoiled when Light-Diamond managed to clash swords with them, despite his size difference. This was somehow a fight that could go either way, but he didn't have a time limit.

Fullmetal Jasper pushed him away from their clash, summoning multiple spears behind her body. Light-Diamond prepared another set of shields, but the attack never came. She just kept summoning more spears.

All of them were spinning, and charging, yet not firing. He stared at her confused.

"Have you finally lost your mind?" He yelled, stretching his multiple barriers out. Multiple pink layers stood between them. "You're almost done. You can't go against your Diamond."

They spun around the giant, charging lasers of their own, until they all came together as a gigantic canon right above her head, pointed directly at Light-Diamond. He caught himself doing the math in his head for how much power each of those spears could output. It would be incredibly close, but by focusing all his energy on shielding, he should be fine.

And then Jasper pointed her shield at him, whose entire face started to glow with the same energy.

He didn't feel so sure about those shields anymore.

"Amethyst!" Spinel yelled, stretching one limb to pick up her three stunned allies, jumping, and then stretching the other to get the hell out of the blast radius of that thing.

And as the cannon charged fully, the titan screamed:

"YOU ARE NOT OUR DIAMOND."

And the strongest blast of energy in that Era was unleashed directly on Light-Diamond.

The first few layers tried to hold up, but that only meant a few extra seconds. Broken pieces of pink constructs started to give way as the massive energy blast destroyed all defenses Light-Diamond's put up. Before the last one was destroyed, he flew away.

The spears separated, each becoming a separate laser, still firing. The clone tried dodging the now-multiple lasers, but the cannons were deceptively fast. They anticipated his every move, almost as if some of those Jaspers were dedicating their perception solely to predicting his movements.

As he was hit with more and more attacks, from multiple angles, the clone put up as many barriers as he could. He created shield after shield, bubble after bubble, and refused to stop moving. The blast effortlessly broke through every defense he put up. And as fast as he could be, he wasn't faster than pure energy.

Ultimately, the blasts hit him in full. Light-Diamond felt his body pushed with violence by the attacks, and then it overtook him, enveloping him completely in its power. He hadn't been made for this much fighting. He harnessed all his power into trying to protect his form, but he knew it wasn't enough. This overwhelming energy was beyond anything he thought he would ever face.

"No." He told himself, through his own demise. "NO!"

The spears gave out, one by one, only leaving the larger shield laser in the end. Light-Diamond held on to his sword and made a shield around its blade. He put the blade between himself and the attack, and with all the strength he had left, he cut.

The laser cut open like a bullet, giving him just enough time to throw himself off, completely exhausted. His sword was broken at the hilt, a bladeless weapon that had served him as much as it could. The despot fell to the ground, barely hanging on to consciousness. He could feel his form glitching out of existence.

A large shadow covered his vision, and Fullmetal Jasper landed right on his side, gold and yellow and making a lot of noise. Her form was almost done with, but she held on, seemingly through sheer force of will. He struggled to get up, not caring to note that she was now carrying Amethyst and Spinel on her hand.

"Do you think this victory changes anything?" He coughed, getting on his knees and pulling himself up. "Do you seriously think I am your only problem?"

No one answered. Light-Diamond held his broken sword as if it were a powerful weapon.

"Diamond is several times mightier than I. All you've done is give him the reason he needed to destroy this pathetic civilization. You're the entire reason this began!"

He could barely see. His words sounded distant in his head

"You know what you're meant to do! You know what you're good at! Why can't you just _do_ it?!"

Amethyst jumped down, landing in front of him. He pointed what once was a sword on her direction, and suddenly realizing he could only see from one eye.

"Dude, we can do whatever we want. You too. You don't have to just live to serve Diamond like that." She had no weapons. Would be such an easy kill.

"I'm doing what I want!" Light-Diamond yelled, tired of this. "I want to do what _must be done_! And you're all in my way! You're all in Diamond's way!"

"Then maybe Diamond's way is stupid!" Amethyst yelled back, frustrated. "Maybe we just want a choice!"

"You don't _deserve_ a choice!" Diamond clutched at his weapon. "You have no _need_ for a choice! Just _listen to me_!"

"Amethyst." Spinel came down, touching her shoulders. "It's not worth it. He's not gonna listen to you."

"But—"

"Trust me." She said. Light-Diamond couldn't tell anymore, but Spinel was looking directly at his eyes. "This is nothing new. Besides, he's not even the real thing. Just some pimped up hologram following orders."

Light-Diamond didn't get _offended_ , but something about her tone… something about how a stupid, broken Spinel talked to him… it snapped a fuse in his mind. He started to raise his sword, not sure why. Maybe he was just going to throw it at her.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. I'm Diamond." He screamed; fury fully settled on his face. "I'm Diamond! I'm perfect and YOU WILL—"

Fullmetal Jasper's arm came crashing down on his body, and he was no longer anything.

There was no time for poignant silence. The giant fusion didn't raise her arm back. It glitched, glowed and unfused, with about thirty Jaspers falling to the ground, completely exhausted.

"Stars, I _hate_ Titan formation." Said Tee, spread-out on the ground, barely able to breathe. "You ladies think the _craziest_ things when you're together."

"Hey, come on, get with the times, you dusty old rock." Four said, laying down by her side. "It's _Fullmetal Jasper_ now."

They both chuckled before breaking down into laughter. Two or three Jaspers around them poofed of exhaustion, but no one seemed to bat an eye at that. In fact, the sudden sound of poofing made some of them laugh. It was great feeling at home again.

"Hey, Four." Tee said, exhaustion settling in. They had gotten so close to dying. So many things felt more real now.

"Yeah?" The other said, almost asleep.

"I love you." No nervousness. Just a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I love you too, you big mushy rock."

A last laugh before both passed out.

Roxxie faltered her way into standing up, huffing as if she'd just ran a marathon.

"Ughh. I'm gonna feel sore for weeks." She said, touching her head. "But it was worth it."

Amethyst didn't answer. She just kept staring at the hole that the fight left. There was nothing left of Light-Diamond. He was just a light construct, after all.

"This isn't over." Spinel said, similarly worried. "Diamond is going to know something's wrong."

"Yeah." Amethyst replied. She turned around to Roxxie. "How long until you girls can do that again?"

" _Again_?" Roxxie repeated, in shock. "Amethyst, we won't be able to do _anything_ for a while. You've fused before, you know how taxing it can get. Imagine fusing with _dozens_ of other people. Heck, I might poof just to save myself some time. I can barely feel my legs."

"Right." She felt anxiety creeping up her chest, unsure of what to make of their chances. "Well uh, you're needed here in Homeworld. I gotta get back."

"What are you gonna do…?" Spinel asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're not thinking of fighting Diamond on your own, are you? You heard the poser! That thing took an army to defeat, and it wasn't even the genuine article!"

Amethyst grimaced, not happy with being told her odds.

"I know, but I gotta hear it from him." She decided, turned around to look at the Palace, so far away now. "I have to hear him try to justify this."


	16. CHAPTER 15 - I Am Diamond, Part 3

Diamond woke up on the ground. His face fully planted on sand, and his limbs heavy and feeling far too sore. It took him several seconds to realize what had happened.

The new memories put themselves in place, like pieces of a puzzle he didn't know he was missing. All the experiences his light clone had been through applied to him. It wasn't supposed to be this traumatic to receive it all, but he'd been gone for _so long_ …

Light-Diamond's memories made no sense. They couldn't be real.

"Homeworld." He whimpered, standing up. "Homeworld!"

It had to be a nightmare. He looked around, and it was nighttime. His clothes were damp and covered in sand. How long had he been lying there for…?

He had no time to deal with Steven, even though he felt drained in many ways that he associated with the boy. He ran to his house, planning on using the Warp to transfer to the hub, and then to Homeworld.

Diamond didn't expect to barge into the house and see Amethyst and Spinel, sitting at the table, eating sandwiches. Or, in Amethyst's case, a cart of eggs and a whole ham between two slices of bread.

"Amethyst, what did you do?" He asked, incredulous. Spinel's intense stare almost didn't register. "Wait, Spinel…? What are you two doing?"

"Oh, you know." Spinel answered, pointing out her hamburger. "Taking a break. Takes a looot of energy planning, executing and successfully pulling off a rebellion."

She took a huge bite out of her lunch, and, while she tried sounding threatening before, she just melted away at how good it was.

"Oh my stars this is amazing, I wish we had meat in Homeworld."

"Rebellion…?" He repeated, looking back at Amethyst. "My clone, he's…?"

"Dead." Amethyst said, monotone. She then chomped half the cart of eggs, plastic and all. "Throne room's busted, too, but it was ugly anyway. Famethyst is helping whoever got hurt. Pretty big fight, lotsa damage everywhere."

"Why?!" He shouted, still trying to scan his new memories for context. "I left him there to help!"

Spinel got off her chair, outraged, but Amethyst touched her arm. She spun to look at him, still sitting, and lazily crossed her legs.

"Did you kill Jasper?" She asked bluntly.

"No." Diamond replied, not a second wasted. "Lapis killed Jasper."

Amethyst blinked, in shock at the nonchalant reply. "And ya just… you weren't gonna tell us?"

"Why would I tell you? It doesn't concern you at all."

Spinel grinded her teeth like he was scratching his nails on a whiteboard.

"Amethyst, he's lying. I saw the whole thing. Lapis struck her, but he was… i-i-it's like he was making the whole thing happen just the way he wanted it to! He gave her the weapon!"

"What is this even about?" Diamond approached, trying to see if he could clear a path to the Warp. "Jasper was a war criminal, and she tried to shatter you multiple times. I may have expedited her fate, but why do you care if she's dead?"

Amethyst stared at Diamond like she was looking at a stranger, who had just said some horrible thing in public.

"Did you know your clone pal kept Gem Editing going?"

Diamond stopped moving, letting his discomfort show on his face.

"I do now. I didn't tell him to. We lost contact a while ago. He was supposed to act autonomously, some of my clones can-"

"Do you know what they did with it?" Amethyst cared very little about the intricacies of his powers.

"Something… strange. I'm still trying to make sense of his memories."

Amethyst got out of her chair, opening the bathroom door. There were two Gems inside. Eyeball and Corundite came out, holding hands, with Eyeball helping the other calm down and walk on a straight line.

"Please, _please_ say the right thing." Amethyst begged, her visible eye darting around the room from nervousness. " _Please_."

Diamond stared at the small, dark Gem, who seemed completely unable to function without her equally small caretaker. From his perspective, he only stared at her for a couple seconds. For Amethyst, time appeared to stand still.

When he opened his mouth, she even had hope.

"Why would they do this to her?" He started, sounding more genuinely curious than horrified. "What can she do now?"

Amethyst's heart sunk. Spinel covered her mouth, tears flowing from her eyes.

"Oh my stars." The pink Gem said, almost falling from her chair. "Steven's dead. He's really… h-he's gone."

"What _now_?" Diamond shot, incredulous.

"Is that really what goes through your head?" Amethyst said, slowly, carefully. "How useful she is? How you can use her?"

"I didn't mean…" He started, entirely not sure how to proceed. Pink? Blue? Both…? "I mean, it's… very sad."

"Sad." She repeated, a numb look on her face. "It's… _sad._ "

The room fell into a heavy silence. The only noise seemed to come from Corundite, who shivered and audibly whimpered. Eyeball hugged her like nothing else in the room mattered. The red Gem eventually got uncomfortable enough to ask.

"Hey, General, I…"

"Go." Amethyst said, not looking at her. "We got this."

"Aye; thank you." Eyeball made a heart salute and took Corundite along to the Warp. They left the house.

"Look, Amethyst, if my clone's memories are accurate, your friend in Homeworld said you destroyed all the laboratories anyway. We can talk about this after I check on—" Diamond started, but not fast enough. Amethyst took her whips out. "What do you think you're doing?"

She didn't answer. The Gem cracked her whip and attacked the Warp as soon as the two were gone.

"No!" He yelled, as she destroyed the teleportation device. "Are you out of your mind?!"

Spinel grunted like a hurt animal. "I'm so sick of this! Stop wearing his _face_! Stop _talking_!" She kicked her chair away, making her fists grow.

"Both of you have gone insane." He decreed, wondering if he should summon his shield.

"Diamond." Amethyst said, looking him dead in the eye. "You're not welcome here. You're not welcome in Homeworld either. We want you to leave. Go anywhere else but near us."

He stared back at her, stunned. Of all the things he expected to face, someone asking him to _leave_ was far from the first ones that went through his head.

"Do you really think you can tell me what to do?" He asked, calmly. There was no malice in his voice. He was stating his power as a fact.

"No, I don't." She replied, not breaking eye contact. "But if you want to stay here, you're going to have to crack me. And when Garnet and Pearl get here, you're probably gonna have to do the same to them."

She approached him, whip in hand.

"If this is how you're going to be… if this is what your Era 3 looks like… then we are _never_ going to stop fighting you, no matter how strong you are. This is my best friend's house you're standing in right now man; I watched him grow up in here! I'll go down swinging protecting this place before I let you do whatever you want."

Spinel didn't say anything, but she didn't seem very intimidated by the prospect of certain death.

Diamond stared at both Gems. Everyone in the room agreed there would only be one result if this turned into a brawl. It would probably be painless for them, even. If this had happened in the first week of his life, he wouldn't have hesitated.

Diamond turned around and left through the front door.

Spinel's fists went back to normal. She took a big breath to cool off.

"Oof, that was intense." She noticed Amethyst hadn't moved. "Hey, are you alright…?"

And then Amethyst collapsed to the floor, dry heaving and trembling like she was going to be sick.

" _Ohmygodohmy_ —" The cart of eggs came out almost undigested from her mouth. "I… I can't believe… he _looked_ at me like he was gonna… oh _god no not again, come on!_ " And then the rest of any food she'd had before came right along.

Neither of them could have possibly noticed Pink Pearl, watching from the beach, following Diamond with her gaze. It was clear what her next mission was.

* * *

Lapis didn't have a habit of sleeping, but her days at Little Homeworld had made consciousness a chore. She has come to enjoy drift away for a few hours every day. Sometimes during the day, sometimes during the night. Never more than ten hours. Just enough to process some things in her mind, and maybe even come up with a good idea or two for an art project. Not that she actually ended up making anything. Rarely felt like it nowadays.

Either way, she realized she never missed much when she was asleep. She might have missed a customer that Peridot picked up, or an update on a job that Bismuth had to relay to her, but never anything that couldn't wait. So, she was comfortable just walking into the front desk, yawing and somewhat unkept, asking if she'd missed anything.

This time, she arrived right on time. Pearl was on the speaker phone with Peridot and Bismuth.

"— _don't know what's happening, but you mustn't let Diamond get near you._ "

Her heart spun in her chest as if it hadn't woken up yet. She felt a knot forming in her throat. The others hadn't realized she was there.

"But this makes no sense. Why would he come here, if what you say is true?" Bismuth asked, with a lower, darker tone of voice than usual."

" _Spinel told us, it's not clear why, but apparently he and Lapis… oh, stars._ "

"Pearl?" Peridot jumped up, almost grabbing the phone from Bismuth's hand. "He and Lapis _what_?"

" _It seems Lapis shatter—_ "

A current of water took the phone away from Bismuth's hand, breaking it against the wall. The Gems looked behind them. Lapis' hand left no question as to what had happened. She had no plan. This was a disaster.

"Lapis, what's happening?" Bismuth asked, fists clenched, as if she seriously expected to get into a fight with her. "I heard what Pearl said. Who did you _shatter_?"

"Wait, wait. This is clearly a misunderstanding." Peridot raised her hands in peace, moving between them. Neither Gem moved from her poses. "Lapis wouldn't do that to anyone. Right?"

The blue Gem didn't answer. Her wings were itching to get out of her Gemstone. Her left hand was still extended, and clearly shaking.

"What happened to Steven?" Lapis asked, ignoring her friend. Peridot's expression turned from an optimistic half-smile to a worried frown.

"Don't you do this right now." Bismuth's hands turned into a hammer and a scythe. "You know he's not Steven, right? He's Diamond. He's _always_ been Diamond. He's been lying to us this whole time, but you spent a _week_ with him in Homeworld. There's no way you didn't know."

"I… you don't know what you're talking about." Her wings came out, and she felt the moisture building up on her right hand. This was escalating too fast. "Ste— _Diamond_ isn't a bad person. And you know what, you don't know how Homeworld was when we got there!"

"Then tell us!" Peridot shrieked, clutching her hair. "You haven't told us anything, and now we hear that there's been a rebellion in Homeworld, and that a bunch of Jaspers and Amethysts took over the place, under _our_ Amethyst's orders! What went down there?!"

"Jaspers?" Lapis' expression turned sour, a scowl growing across her face. "I knew we shouldn't have trusted that bunch—"

"You're gonna tell us everything, _right now_." Bismuth was the first to break formation. She tried to approach Lapis, but Peridot stayed in front of her. "Peridot, I'm not gonna hurt Lapis! I just want to talk!"

"Then what's the hammer for?!" The shortest one yelled, turning around. "Lapis, for the love of— just talk to us, _please_. We're not gonna do anything to you, we're friends!"

Lapis' pose faltered hearing Peridot's pleas. They hadn't done anything to her yet, and these were her best friends… maybe?

"I… we…" She stuttered, her eyes darting around the room for something to ground her. Something to keep the memories away. Jasper's body so close to hers, the way that monster held her face, the way the sword felt so heavy but so easy to hurt her with— "It's, I… s-she tried to…"

"She? We're _all_ shes!" Bismuth yelled, frustrated. "Who are you talking about? Who are you so afraid of?!"

And with that connection, Peridot's eyes widened in shock. She straightened her posture, and Lapis realized that she knew.

"Oh my stars," Peridot said, unblinking. "You shattered Jasper."

"Jasper…?" Bismuth repeated, connecting the dots. " _That_ Jasper…? What was she doing in…?"

"I… I…" Lapis felt her entire body rejecting every minute of this conversation. She didn't need air, but it was getting hard to breathe. She thought she was going to pass out. "I-I… can't stay here!"

And then Lapis did what she always does. She tore a hole on the ceiling and flew away.

* * *

Diamond didn't know how to feel when he saw Lapis soaring through the air, going towards the ocean. Betrayed? Sad? Simply _late_?

Of course, they'd let the other Crystal Gems know. And of _course,_ she would have had to come clean. Everything made perfect sense.

It didn't make the despair in his chest any less real. He realized that was the only person he really took for granted flying away, not looking back.

 _I can catch up to her._ He thought. _But what good would that do?_

What was he even supposed to say to her? What was the end goal? Variations of those questions had been going through his mind ever since he left the Temple. At least, those were some of the questions, most of which he had no answer for. There was one other that was far more practical.

"Why are you following me?" He turned around. Pink Pearl wasn't even trying to hide.

"Well, My Diamond, I thought you might need my services." Hands behind her back, captivating smile, one eye half open. The spitting image of a confidant. "I take it your latest projects haven't turned out the way you wanted them to."

He squinted, unsure of what to make of her. She wasn't the strongest, the fastest, nor the oldest Pearl around. She had spent the last eight thousand years as a mindless puppet, unable to even think for herself. And once that spell was undone, she barely did anything with her life.

Yet here she was, almost demanding his attention. And something about her made him want to comply.

"You're a Gem of many mysteries, Pearl." He said, guarded. "One might even think you're hiding something from me."

He approached, which did nothing to defer her forwardness.

"Oh, stars forbid, My Diamond." She definitely wasn't mocking him, but the politeness… it wasn't how people usually talked. There was a hint of playfulness to her voice that he couldn't quite understand. "You know me, of course. I am nothing if not transparent."

Diamond raised his chin, looking at Pink Pearl from above. She simply looked at him from below. Prolonged eye contact wasn't that uncomfortable for either of them, as it turns out.

"State your business, then." He said, waiting.

"Well…" She ran up his arm with her pointer finger, almost flirty. He wasn't ready for that, and it disarmed him. "It seems to me that you're dealing with some feelings that you don't quite understand. Your relationship to the Crystal Gems, Homeworld, and even your human side seem to be simply falling apart."

His jaw hung a bit, for a moment. This was new.

"Really." Diamond replied, recomposing himself. "That's an interesting theory."

"Oh, My Diamond— it is no theory. I know what it feels like."

His eyebrows twitched. "Do you, now."

"Yes, indeed. When I was—"

He interrupted her by grabbing her finger, which was still touching his arm. Pink Pearl winced a bit but tried maintaining her serenity.

"M-My Diamond, I'm sorry if—"

"Don't play games with me, Pearl." He said, direct. "You don't _happen_ to be here when I need you most. Don't treat me like a fool. This isn't the first time you've done this, is it…?" He looked at her hand and wondered. "Is this what you were made to do?"

"W-what?"

"Pink Diamond's Pearl; what would she need in order to serve her master properly?" He went on, locked with her eye. Her confident persona was gone. "Yellow is always ready to give out orders and solve problems without consulting anybody, Blue can take her Diamond's sadness like no other Gem can, and you…" And then he let the truth contextualize this moment. "Ah, you're _therapy_."

She didn't answer. Nor was she smiling, anymore.

"You were given to her as a failsafe." He continued, slowly. "Only you could really understand her, because you could literally feel what she was feeling."

He let go of her hand. She pulled it back, holding her hurt finger with an annoyed expression.

"You've just been following people around trying to solve their problems, haven't you? You must be prolific in this town."

"I have been told I do an excellent job, My Diamond." Her voice had less of that perky, bubbly energy from before. She sounded deeper, reverberated. "But it doesn't mean it is not what I like, and it doesn't mean it is not what I came here to do. It simply means I have an easier time doing it than others."

She side-eyed Diamond, with a certain hurt pride.

"I thought you, of all people, would appreciate my work ethic, oh-my-brilliant _Diamond_."

"Watch your tone." He said, which made her smile. "You're not as submissive as you seem at first sight."

"Oh, please, _My_ _Diamond_. You know how Pink Diamond used to be." It was as if a shadow passed by her face. Her eye turned beyond Diamond, maybe even beyond the stars, looking back millennia ago. "I didn't get here by _minding_ being pushed around. What is that appalling saying your family likes? _Diamonds are brittle,_ _too?_ "

She looked back to Diamond, with a far less innocent energy.

"Well, Pearls have no such problems. If anything, we adapt quite well. Pressure would not break us."

"I see." He didn't know if he liked what was behind the veil, but it was impossible to go back to ignorance. "So, what now?"

"There is no reason for dramatics. I never lied to you. And if the mask is gone, may I then just ask…" And suddenly, there she was again. Helpful, approachable, and holding his hand so subtly that he barely realized she moved. "How can I help?"

He stared deep into her working eye, and couldn't decide if this was her influence, or if he just wanted to talk.

"I don't know." Anyone else, it would feel bizarre. But her? "Is touch the way you do things? How much do you see?"

She smiled, and that was a genuine one.

"Enough to know that you need to put it into words." She brought his hand up to chest height. Delicately, she held it with both of hers. "You're so much younger than you appear to be, yet life hasn't been kind to you, has it?"

"I don't need life's kindness." He broke eye contact, mulling over what was on his mind. "But I don't know what else to do. Everyone has decided not to bother with me anymore. All my advances in Homeworld seem to have been for naught. And Lapis… I don't know if she wants to talk. I don't know what to do about her at all, I expected her to stay… I didn't realize it until I saw her leave."

"But Diamond." The pretense of rank was already gone, then. Good. "Those people weren't from your life. They were from Steven's. And you've spent the last few months distancing yourself from him."

"I have." He conceded, heavy. "And now that he won't talk to me, I don't have anyone else."

"He feels alone, as well." She looked beyond him, and he figured this was just part of the process. "He feels like you're the worst thing that has ever happened to him, and at the same time, a strange kinship to you."

"Kinship?" Diamond asked, incredulous.

"You are all the other has, now. He cannot go back to his life, and you have no life here. All you can do is somehow coexist."

He winced, thinking back to the past couple months. Every time he talked to Steven was stressful, always ending in a fight.

"Now, now, that's not true." Pink Pearl startled him. "You never intend to fight, and you always try finishing your talks. The very first one holds a very important key."

"You are reading my mind?"

She clutched his hand slightly as a reply. But he knew she was right. The first time they talked…

"He said I would have to earn him." Diamond reminisced, releasing himself from Captain Pearl's hands. "And he meant it. Everything I've done since that day has convinced Steven I will never do him justice."

Apparently, Pearl's power was strongest through physical contact. When breaking their connection, he felt a slight return to rationality. His feelings became less clear, and his thoughts turned back to problem-solving. She hadn't reached out again yet, but he could tell she wanted to.

"What do you actually want, Diamond?" She asked. "What is your goal?"

"I want to help—"

"No, no. You know that's not it." She interrupted, gently somehow. "You keep saying that you exist to serve, but that's not how you act. You have other reasons, too."

Her hand extended, but he instinctively moved away. A strange kind of panic started to build up in his chest. "I don't want to talk about it."

"But you must." Pink Pearl's tone was as close to dark as she could muster. "You are too powerful, too important to deny yourself the truth."

"All I need to do is put myself into a position to help others." He said, gritting his teeth between his lines. "I don't need this… whatever this is, I don't need others to agree with me, I just need to do my job."

"Diamond, stop." Pink Pearl raised her hands in a sign of peace, while also slowly approaching him. "I am not your enemy, and you're not in danger. I am just asking you to be honest with yourself. It's the only way."

He had never felt so vulnerable before, and he hated it. Every ounce of himself wanted to attack this Pearl and leave. For the first time in who knows how long he felt nothing coming from his mind. This was all him.

"If you want to help me, then do what I tell you." He snarled, losing a bit of control. "Help me get back my connections, starting with Steven."

"I…" She hesitated, her hands lowering slightly. "I don't understand what you want from me."

"You can talk to people. People listen to you; they open up and see their mistakes. They change their minds."

"All except you, apparently." She let herself snap a bit, clearly irritated. "I'm trying to help _you_ , forget _other people_ right now."

"No. I do need you. But not the way you think." Diamond grabbed both her arms, feeling her influence enter his cognition. This might actually work. "I need you to talk to Steven."

"Diamond, you know he can't just _come out_ , it doesn't work like that for you." She winced at how strongly he was holding her. "Unhand me."

"My mind is a physical space, just like anyone's inner Gem, but more powerful. More real. Steven lives inside me, fully aware and cognizant. Fully capable of talking." He could feel himself almost having an epiphany. This could be it. The piece that was missing. "And he hates every second of it. You said it's because he's alone."

"I said unhand me, _now._ "

"And who do I find, following me like a loyal subject, but the person _made_ to deal with his feelings? The one Gem that could ever stay by Pink Diamond's side all these years without breaking anything but herself! You've truly _saved_ me, Pearl!"

"Diamond!" She wore her fear on her face. The way he was talking promised a lot. None of it good.

"You will keep him company. You will help me where I need the most. And if this works… then I will know what to do. I'll know how to fix everything." He smiled, and she knew she had lost him. "Fuse with me, Pearl."

"No. Absolutely _not_ , you can't _make_ me—"

"Oh, Pearl." Diamond said, his eyes turning white, his hands emitting monochrome light. "I can't, but I can do more."

"No!" She screamed, knowing what was about to happen. "No! Don't do that! Don't do that again!"

White's control rays were already spreading to her body. She could feel all that she was being washed away, every thought in her mind being overwritten with someone else's influence. Her feelings and emotions being punched down, made still by artificial means. No, not again, never again, no matter what it takes, adapt, _adapt_ —

"Alright!" She screamed, before the light reached her Gem. "I'll do it! I'll do whatever you want, just… just _stop._ "

He released her, letting her fall to her knees, panicked and broken. Diamond would feel bad about it later. This was much more important.

"Then come in, my Pearl." He asked, extending his hand. "We have work to do."

She stared at him like wounded prey, as if deciding if she would die fighting. But ultimately, she resigned. For Steven, then.

Pink Pearl touched his hand and let herself become lost in his existence. Her Gemstone shined brightly as her light form lost its consistency, being absorbed into his. It was… very different from normal fusion.

She expected to mix and mingle, but instead, it was as if she was just being transported somewhere new. Like taking a lightway to a new planet, only to open her eyes in a fluffy wonderland.

She was face down on the ground, as if she had washed away from the ocean. Pearl thought she was dreaming. This place felt nothing like the real world, yet clearly looked like the beach she had just been on. Only pink.

A silhouette looking away from her was the only thing for miles. She approached, but as soon as she made any noise, Steven turned around.

"… Captain Pearl?" Steven asked, confused.

Pink Pearl ran towards him, hugging him in sobs.

"Oh, Steven, I'm _so sorry_."

"Wh-what's going on? What are you doing here?"

"I…." She looked around, and the pink beach just kept going. "It really is just us in here…? Nothing else?"

"It's just me. Just us."

"What have you been doing…?"

"Connie… broke up with me, and I didn't want to watch anymore of what was going on. What did Diamond do…? Why are you here?" He looked up at Pearl and couldn't dodge the fear in her eyes. "H-hang on."

Steven pointed his hand at nothing, and a screen appeared. Whatever Diamond was looking at showed up in front of them.

He was looking at Pink Pearl.

"What?" Steven asked, incredulous, releasing from her hug and approaching the screen. "Is that… you?"

Captain Pearl wasn't there anymore. Steven, at this point fully convinced he was going mad, looked back at the screen. Captain _was_ in front of Diamond, only… ethereal, shining slightly in the darkness of the beach she had been in a second ago. And she was talking.

"The Void has been nearly completely taken over by Steven Universe's influence" She said, monotone. "He was found. He hides from your perception."

"Excellent." He heard Diamond's voice reverbing through his own head, making it sound like he was coming from everywhere. "It works. Are you there right now…?"

"No." She said, unblinking. "I am here."

Diamond waved his hand, and the clone of Pink Pearl glitched out of existence. And then she was back in the Beach.

Steven startled when Captain Pearl simply _appeared_ by his side, like she'd never left. The Gem touched her own face and body as if to make sure it was really her, or if this was just a prolonged, awful nightmare.

"Steven—" And then she was gone again.

Steven's attention went back to the screen, where Diamond was pointing forward with his hand. The place he was pointing at shaped itself with light, and then there was Pink Pearl, once again.

"Fascinating." Diamond said, approaching Light-Pink Pearl and touching her chin. "It's physically you, yet I can feel you in my mind… faintly, like an echo. Some of your experiences, even your powers… simply incredible."

"As long as you summon me, I must obey." She said, staring at him. Steven was going to be sick.

"I must obey, _My Diamond_ , no?" Steven could _hear_ his smile.

"Yes."

"Hm." He moved away, changing the screen's perception. "Pearl, I need you to stay by Steven and figure out what's wrong with him. I will call upon you again."

"Understood."

"You're not calling me 'My Diamond', Pearl."

"Correct."

Diamond stopped moving, staring at her.

"You will address me as 'My Diamond', from now on."

"Whenever I would call you by your name, I will now call you My Diamond."

Diamond smiled.

"You've found ways to rebel against me!" He approached again, stopping close to her. "But you can't leave, clearly. There's no resistance coming from within me, and your Gemstone is gone."

Pearl didn't answer. Diamond continued.

"You are dismissed. We will talk about your posturing later."

And with a wave of his hand, Pink Pearl was back in the Room. This time, she came back much fiercer looking. Her fists were shut and her expression serious.

"He is not my master." She said, not addressing Steven at all. "He will never be."

"Pearl?" He asked. "Are you okay?"

She turned to him and softened her expression. Sorrow and sympathy went back to her eye, and she touched his shoulder. Maybe to ground herself, maybe to ground him.

"No, but it's not your fault, Steven." Captain Pearl watched the screen. Diamond was taking flight, going towards the city.

Steven's guilt, worry and fears seeped into her mind like tainted water, but she stood strong.

"There has to be something we can do from here." She whispered, worried.

Steven looked around, pointlessly trying to find anything other than the screen to look at, even if it was well within his power to turn it off. Until, finally, he looked up, and remembered something Diamond had just mentioned.

"I think…" He finally said, staring into the distance. The source of illumination in the room was like a sun. "I think I have an idea."


	17. CHAPTER 16 - A Cheap Trick

Diamond could feel that assimilating Pink Pearl had more of an effect than he had expected. It was faint, but he was different. Gems held an almost disproportionate amount of energy, and now he had even more of that.

He felt stronger, and with a clearer mind. A plan began to brew in his mind. All he had to do was to test out his hypothesis, and he thought he was the perfect test subject.

No need to choose. As the two hulking forms of light came out of his body proved, he could be in multiple places at once. One of them would work.

* * *

Little Homeworld was mostly quiet, and the clone made no noise as he approached main street. Bismuth and Peridot probably knew about Diamond already, but he was counting on the idea that some people hadn't gotten the memo. Now for the matter that Diamond didn't know where they lived.

The sound of drums resonated in the clone's mind. A flutter in his heart, an alien sensation of nostalgia. Ah, perfect. Maybe not specific moments, but it did internalize _feelings._ The clone flew towards the direction of the music, eventually arriving at a small cottage, two floors and painted with all three primary Gem colors.

The music was coming from the bottom floor. The clone remained somewhat formless, peering through the window. Yellow Pearl was playing loud, disharmonic beats all by herself.

She looked focused, lost in her private time. It was probably the first time she had something to focus on that wasn't work, or the in-betweens where Yellow Diamond had been unavailable.

The clone thought Blue Pearl must be around somewhere. Maybe out running errands, if Yellow was alone. No matter. Soon that wouldn't be a problem.

First, an exploration of a premise. Diamond was the combination of all that he absorbed. He was a perfect, ancient type of Gem that did not exist for millennia, and only came about when different parts of a full Diamond came together.

Formless light could penetrate clear glass easily. The clone waited until Yellow Pearl got up and turned around to leave before settling its shape. A form made of light, first colorless, then yellow, materialized inside the room.

"What…?" Zappy said, noticing the glow.

Second, it seemed that he could not only access all the abilities of the Gems that made him up, but he could also control Light forms of them. He had only done so with versions of himself and, recently, of Pearl.

But he knew he could do more, much like he had done to impress the leaders of Homeworld. The Diamonds had lost most of their personality in the fusion process, but they just became diluted parts of him, and he remembered them. They were somewhere inside his mind. A few adjustments, some assumptions, a healthy dose of improvisation on the part of the clone…

Yellow Pearl gagged in surprise, falling to her knees. It couldn't be.

"Yellow Diamond." She whispered, tears filling her eyes. Her Diamond stood tall and powerful, crossing her arms and looking down on her. "You… you're alive."

Light-Yellow Diamond kneeled, to look at Zappy closer. The fact that the room wasn't that well-lit made her look ever more divine. With any luck, the Pearl wouldn't realize that it was because she was literally emitting light.

His constructs were part of him. He could cut them off completely and let them run autonomously, as he did with Light-Diamond. In that case, they would remain loyal yet distinct from his thought process. But if they remained connected to him, if they were just an extension of his will, then they were also an extension of his power.

"Pearl," Light-Yellow Diamond said.

Diamond himself could almost hear it in his mind. This took far too much focus, especially with the other clone still looking for its target, but this whole thing shouldn't last more than a few minutes.

"Oh, how I've missed you."

"Really?" Zappy got up, holding her chest like it was going to burst. Her tears flowed to the ground. It was going great. "W-where have you been? How is this possible? Did something happen to Steven Universe?"

"Steven Universe is fine, but he needs help. That is why I am here." The giantess extended her hand to Zappy, who recoiled as if it was burning. "We need _your_ help."

"H-how can I be of service? I'm… I have no more connections, no nothing, I'm just living my life here."

"The situation is extreme, Pearl. It's imperative that you do as I say. For this to work, we must become one."

Her hand floated close to her old assistant, who didn't seem to quite know what that was meant to entail.

"Don't be afraid. I would never hurt my precious assistant."

A shadow passed by Yellow Pearl's face, but the clone thought nothing of it. This was clearly still working, she just needed to—

"No."

"What?" Said the clone.

Diamond felt its confusion. This was new. The Gem didn't quite understand what was going on.

"This is wrong." Zappy said, clutching her fists. "You would never say that. You never _said_ that. What's going on here?"

Oh, and Diamond assumed it was going _so_ well.

The clone needed to improvise a narrative, a twist that would disarm Yellow, something that she trusted…

"There is work to be done Pearl, and I require your services one more time!" Light-Yellow pleaded, with a hint of exasperation in her voice. "I know you want to help me. I know what you like to—"

"Leave." Zappy stepped forward, looking Light-Yellow Diamond in her eyes. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore. I have a life now! I have friends now! I don't… I don't _need_ you!"

She was trembling, red on the face, and absolutely livid. Light-Yellow Diamond recoiled slightly. What a disaster.

"Pearl, I did _not_ teach you to act like this, and you will stop this instant!"

" _Teach_ me? I'm not a _hatchling_! I'm not your _property_ anymore! I never _was_! You just convinced everyone that was how things had to be!"

"Calm down—"

"I am not a _thing_ you can do whatever you want to!" She yelled, taking a weapon out of her Gem. A trident. "I am not _your_ thing! And there's _nothing_ you can do to me now! I told you to _leave my house_!"

Diamond felt something deep within the clone that he was sure he did not put in there. Something about the way the Yellow light inside his mind computed information, almost like a hint of what used to be a full person. A single tinge of emotion piercing its way to consciousness.

It was regret.

"I never thought you were a thing." Light-Yellow said, in words strange to Diamond. "I never wanted to hurt you like this."

Zappy's tears flowed freely, but it didn't quell her rage. She just stood there, trident in hand, waiting for her last words to be acknowledged.

"Very well." The clone said, evaporating her light as suddenly as she came into the world.

Zappy was left incredibly confused, panicking in a room that used to feel so safe for her.

Far away, Diamond cursed, fully absorbing the clone's experiences. Plan B, then.

* * *

It didn't take it much to find Blue Pearl, coming back home from whatever she was doing. By some of the exposed art supplies, the second clone assumed she liked to paint the stars at night. No matter, of course.

The light made an image of Blue Diamond to intercept Blue Pearl. Having less to focus on meant he could even make her look more ethereal, almost like a specter. She sat a little to the side of the road, so that she looked like a mirage… surely this time would be better.

"My Pearl," the apparition said, listlessly. "Oh, how I've longed to see you again. Please, come closer, so that I can…"

Diamond almost yelled in frustration. _She's not stopping._ _She didn't even stop! She's just going!_

"Pearl!" Light-Blue said, raising her voice in surprise. "Please! I've come from so far away to talk to you, what are you doing?"

The Gem didn't even flinch. She was even smiling. Just kept on moving.

"I will not be ignored!" Light-Blue got up, energy on her hands. Maybe Pearl thought she was a fake? Maybe the theatrics had been too much? "You _will_ listen!"

Finally, Blue Pearl stopped. She turned around, and without faltering her smile, she asked:

"Why would I?"

"Wh—?"

"You are not real. You cannot be." Pearly said, calmly approaching. "And even if you were, you no longer have power over me."

"Pearl, what are you saying? I came to ask for your help, we need—"

"You do not need me."

She raised her hand to interrupt the apparition, before she had the chance to say anything.

"You never needed me. I made life easier, yes, but my real purpose was to keep you company, because no one aside from other Diamonds would. You, who refused to move on after Pink Diamond's demise, and took out your own insecurities on others."

Light-Blue Diamond had no response. What was wrong with these Pearls…? It didn't expect them to be so… _different_ from before.

"This is not the first time you have appeared to me."

 _What?_ , Diamond could almost hear the clone screaming in his mind. Its programming was breaking down, its thoughts being guided by something else. It had no idea how to deal with this.

Diamond wondered if this could be what was left of Blue, coming out to try to salvage this mission.

"You've haunted me in my lowest moments for thousands of years. Every night when it gets dark, I look up, and all I can see in the stars are the thousands of shattered Gem fragments, twinkling in your court, from Gems whose only crime was to be around you on a particularly bad day."

Pearly stood right in front of Light-Blue. The clone felt disarmed, standing there in stunned silence. Pearly's Gemstone shined brightly, and a small canvas was materialized from her compartment.

"I come out every night that I can, and I try to undo the damage you have done to my mind."

She gave Light-Blue Diamond the painting. It was a beautiful starry sky, full of deep blues and purples. Every star was unique, stunning. Almost like they were all different tales, frozen in time at their climax.

"I have decided to dedicate my life to proving you were misguided. That everything in this world is worthwhile and beautiful, even things that you can't control."

"Pearl…" The clone said, in a voice completely separate from Diamond's. "I never… I'm sorry, I…"

"Goodbye, Blue Diamond." She turned around and started to walk around, never losing her smile. "I'm sure we'll see each other again, whenever I need to remember."

The clone stayed perfectly still, staring at the painting. After what felt like an eternity, the clone dissipated.

Diamond absorbed its memories and realized it had been memorizing every aspect of Pearly's art.

The Gem was flying over the ocean, the sky above him twinkling in a cloudless night. For a second he paused and looked at the stars around him. Pearly made them out to be prettier.

This was going so wrong.

He sighed. Plan B was a failure. Plan C would have to work.

* * *

"I don't understand." Steven said to himself, watching the screen. "What's he _doing_?"

"Whatever it is, it's nothing good." Captain Pearl replied, with tears on her eyes. "But I'm _so_ proud of them."

Both were rising atop a cloud, going in the direction of the sun substitute for that place. Steven held complete control over the Room, but that was not a part of his domain. That stayed in Diamond's side.

"Um… Pearl?" He asked, awkward. "How did he convince you to join?"

She didn't answer. She simply lowered her gaze.

"I don't want to talk about it, Steven." She said, eventually, trying not to instinctively hold her own arms. "Maybe later, okay?"

He didn't hide the worry on his face, but something else caught his attention. The screen was suddenly very blue, almost like—

"Oh no." Steven said, despair building up. "Oh no no no."

"What?" Pearl asked.

"He's flying across the ocean. But there's only one person who would ever… Captain Pearl, do you know where—"

"Oh my stars, no." Whatever color was left in Pearl's pale complexion left her face when she put it all together. "Steven, we have to hurry, can this go any faster?"

The clouds started to rise so fast, Captain Pearl felt dizzy. The proverbial sun looked ever closer.

* * *

Lapis didn't know for how long she had been holding her head like that. Like it was about to explode. Sometimes she clutched her hair, dug her nails into her arms, or just stared at the seemingly endless ocean, wondering if this was just what normal would look like again. Looking at bright stars and still waters.

The Seastone wasn't in the exact same place as it had been when they found it. Maybe the station still moved occasionally, considering how strong the waves could be. She was certain there was a perfectly reasonable explanation, and that she could focus on that instead of crying.

She didn't want to cry over people, ever again. It had become a bad habit years ago, and she felt particularly proud of having moved past it. But, then again, this had been a day of unearthing old habits. Lapis hadn't ran away from her friends in so long she'd almost forgotten how it felt like.

It always felt like this was the last time, and that there would be no friends waiting for her if she ever decided to return.

As if reacting to thoughts she was about to have, Lapis heard something large flying towards her direction. She turned around, and there was the man of the hour, landing on the old structure with the usual grace. The flutter in her heart felt like it could be either panic or passion. She wasn't sure anymore.

"Lapis." His tone was grave and familiar. Like an older friend coming to check in on her. "I've been looking everywhere for you. I came as soon as I heard you were gone."

He slowly approached, and Lapis raised her hand to stop him. It wasn't a prelude to an attack, simply a call for privacy. The conflict had been building up in her chest for a while now, and she had to get it out.

"Peridot told me you're not Steven. Never were." She said, turning and looking at the ocean. Eye contact wasn't something she enjoyed partaking in, all that much. "Is it true? Did you lie to me?"

Diamond didn't skip a beat.

"No." He needed to get closer. She had to let him get close. "That's not how it is. Steven is a part of all that I am. I'm him, as well as every other Diamond."

"But you're not _Steven_. You don't _act_ like Steven. I… I always knew it wasn't so simple, but you never said anything, and…" She turned around, slightly irritated. "You're dodging my question."

Diamond faked a sigh.

"I know. And I'm sorry. Yes, I prefer to be known as Diamond, not Steven. But…" He stopped, as if deciding if this was a good idea. "… but you had to know that."

She looked at him with a mix of shame and annoyance.

"I… thought maybe you just changed. And I liked the change." She turned around, mostly to hide her face. "I didn't want to think you were just using me. I didn't want to think you were lying to me. Stars, you still have Steven's voice."

 _What would Lapis react best to_ _right now_ , Diamond thought. Would acting more Blue Diamond help? Or… ah, yes, how about the new addition to the frame? What would _she_ say?

"I'm sorry, Lapis. I thought you wouldn't want to associate with me if I wasn't him." Diamond took a step forward, and when Lapis didn't recoil, he continued approaching. "I didn't want to be alone."

One glance at her. She's paying attention. By the _stars_ this empathy thing was useful.

"… I kept thinking I was trapped in this life, like I was a slave to other people's choices. Steven's choices."

It made him feel absolutely awful, but he couldn't pretend it wasn't fascinating.

"That's…" She hesitated, her mind slowly recontextualizing some of what she had been through. "But… why did you take _me_ to Homeworld? Why did you spend all this time with me? You could have had anyone help you out, and you said…"

"I said I needed you." Wait for it. Wait for the right moment. Ignore your heart sinking into the ground. "I inherited a lot from Steven, Lapis. My feelings towards everyone here are formed from them, to a point. And my feelings for you…" Look into her eyes. Make sure she's looking into yours. The greater good. "… they were like nothing I've ever felt."

Lapis didn't answer. _Now_.

Diamond gently reached for her hand, and felt her emotions flooding his psyche. All her confusion, her sorrow, sadness, and most importantly—

_Got her._

"Lapis, I needed you then, and I need you now." Pink Pearl's empathy flowed from his words like miasma. He could feel her opening up every time he stopped talking. "I believe in everything I said about Homeworld. But it wasn't good enough. They undid everything we achieved."

"Yes… I heard." She said, somewhat mesmerized. "I couldn't believe it."

"But we can fix it. We can do it together." He approached even more. He saw her face blushing, and held her hand with a firm, yet caring grip. "We can do anything together. And I _want_ to be together."

"Diamond, what are you saying…?"

He smiled. Plan C worked. Diamond held her waist and sealed her lips with a kiss.

* * *

The cloud had stopped a while ago. They were as high as the Room was, and what illuminated it — the Light of the Diamonds — was as close as they could get through the Beach's powers. Steven was carrying Captain Pearl on his arms towards it for the rest of the way, when a familiar sound caught his attention.

"Pearl," Steven said, startled. "Did you hear that…?"

"Just keep going, Steven." She replied, focused. "We can't help her right now."

"I… I should stop him. We can do this later, I have to—"

" _Steven_." She held his face, forcing him to face her. "If we stop now, he's eventually going to do something to stop _us_. If we don't reach it…"

"But Lapis—"

"I _chose_ to be here." She said, trying not to choke up. "Even if he threatened me with the worst thing he could do, he couldn't _make_ me want it. Lapis chose this because she wanted to. We have to save everyone else."

* * *

Peridot could probably get to the main Little Homeworld Warp with her eyes closed, but the lack of Gems out on the streets was incredibly unnerving. She usually liked it quiet, but the whole town felt afraid. Every Gem knew what a Diamond gone wrong could do, and it wasn't pretty.

The text emergency alarm had come an hour ago.

' _Be Indoors. Don't Leave Your Home. If You See Steven, Let Us Know. Don't Talk To Him.'_

Peridot's phone was still on her hand with the message open. She was trying to ring Bismuth, but the Gem hadn't picked up yet. She had committed herself to install equipment a bit far from the city, obviously before Lapis decided to escape. It took her awhile to get back.

But it was fine. All she had to do was get home, and not die to a maniacal godlike Gem who apparently got tired of their games.

It was with these cheery thoughts on her mind that she noticed movement, out of the corner of the eye.

"Who's there?" She asked, startled. Like a glow that she couldn't quite discern was coming from a lamp, or something that was moving.

Nothing responded. She looked around, trying her hardest not to look scared, and resumed her walk.

The Warp station was close now, and after that, she could just get home. She tried ringing Bismuth again, and the phone tried connecting. All she had to do was—

"Who was that?! I know I saw something!" She turned and yelled, convinced she'd seen a shadow move where there shouldn't be any.

Stars, it was almost midnight, she was just imagining things. Diamond was a huge bulky Gem, there's no way he could approach her without making a sound.

That didn't make the blue glow coming from an alleyway any less creepy. Peridot wished she had a weapon. She thought about pulling a trash can's lid on her direction, but then the light moved.

It was Lapis. Glowing in darkness like a ghost. Beckoning her to approach.

Peridot thought she was hallucinating. Lapis had left their place mere hours ago. What could possibly have happened?

The blue Gem walked inside the alleyway, and Peridot, against her survival instincts, followed her. The alley went into a larger area, closer to Peridot's objective than before. She didn't see Lapis anywhere.

"Peridot, don't scream." Lapis' voice said, from behind her.

"AAAH!"

The green Gem fell forward, managing to resist the urge to crawl back from her friend. Her phone fell on the ground, but she didn't have the fortitude to pick it back up.

"What do you want, Lapis?!" She asked, not feeling rude at all. She hated being scared. "And why are you _glowing_?"

"Peridot, I'm…" Lapis said, somewhat apprehensive. "I'm so sorry for keeping you out."

Peridot looked at Lapis with a mixture of confusion and shock. She made a sound that approached 'wha?' more closely than a real word.

"I never should have kept things from you, I never should have left, all these times. I'm sorry for everything. You deserve so much better than that."

Peridot got up, not breaking eye contact. This was so incredibly novel she had no idea how to act.

"It's… it's fine." She tried, almost as if checking if that sounded right. "I know these things are hard for you. But, Lapis, we really have to go—"

"Peridot."

Lapis approached her, her movements flowing like a waterfall. Peridot was almost mesmerized by how smooth she moved, and how confidently she advanced. Why was she _doing_ this?

"I mean it. You deserve my best."

Lapis grabbed and held Peridot's hands, being closer to her than Peridot remembered Lapis ever being. She treasured her personal space so much, the only times she really allowed for closeness was for flight or playing. But this was different. Peridot couldn't stop staring into her eyes.

"Lapis, um, you're being weird." Peridot could feel her brain frying just by looking at Lapis' gorgeous eyes.

"No, Peridot, I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago." Lapis smiled. "I'm saying yes. I'm letting you in."

Peridot always thought her smile was beautiful. She tried not thinking about it, but something about this atmosphere… her feelings just kept coming out. This was every fantasy, every weird thought she'd ever nourished about how this moment could go.

"I'm not just apologizing. I'm saying things must change. You're so good to me, and you get nothing in return."

A sharp, screeching part of Peridot's brain was yelling at her. There was something incredibly wrong. Lapis never acted like this before, and the glow, and the timing, and why was this even _happening_ right now.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm ready, Peridot." Lapis approached even more. Peridot had never been so close to another Gem before. "I'm ready for you. I'm ready for _us_."

Peridot felt her heart opening up for the first time as Lapis enveloped her body in a tight hug. Her faces were almost touching, and she instinctively knew that, soon, there would only be one.

"Lapis, I… I don't like fusion; you know I never…"

"You've never been through it, Peridot. You don't know how complete it can make you feel. It makes everything make sense…"

Peridot daydreamed about whatever incredible result would come out. Just like Garnet, just like Stevonnie, just like everyone else got to do before her…

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe this was okay. Lapis' way of apologizing for everything.

Bismuth wouldn't know what happened to Peridot for a long time.

* * *

Diamond's hypothesis was a simple one.

As Peridot's consciousness faded into his own, and the clone of Lapis Lazuli came back into the collective, he pondered over the results.

His clones were a part of him, like any of his limbs and weapons. Therefore, if his clones fused, the result would return to him.

As he felt Peridot's knowledge of all things technological fill his mind, as he felt her telepathy become a part of his powers, and as he felt her pure, naïve love for her old roommate be stored where he kept all of his other emotions, he knew he'd won.

Diamond breathed easy, still at the derelict Gem probe. For the first time in a long time, he let himself smile.

Victory was finally looking like a possibility again.

* * *

"We're here." Steven said, ceasing their flight.

The Light of the Diamonds was warm. That far from Steven's influence, it felt like everything used to, so many months ago. Warm, all-encompassing, and just a little off. Like someone else's thoughts were stitching themselves into his.

Captain Pearl let go of his hand, and realized she could float, too. The rules of the Void started getting weirder around the energy. It could be Steven's influence, too. It didn't matter.

"Okay. Here goes." Pearl said, slightly afraid of the results. She touched the Light.

It was as if an entire species' worth of emotions was flowing into her. The touch burned her hands, but did much worse to her mind, and her heart. Images, feelings, thoughts and intuitions tried taking over her mind.

She'd felt it when trying to work with Diamonds, no matter which one. A Diamond's mind was a powerful thing. It was easy to get lost in it, to get dragged along in its current. With only one, she could manage, but with all four at once…

"Pearl, I'm here." Steven said, touching her hand. "We're in this together."

Steven's touch was like a surge of energy, but on her side. Suddenly it made more sense. The subtle differences between the workaholic, the sorrow, the need to control… and nostalgic, pure sympathy.

"They're all here." Pink Pearl said, her eyes and Gemstone shining in four colors. "I can feel all of them, Steven. You were right."

"But what's missing?" He asked, trying not to be lost in the ocean of minds that Pearl was swimming through. He could feel it, too. It made far less sense to him, but it was so… real. "None of this makes sense if he's telling the truth. There's no way perfection makes you _this_ evil."

The more he touched Pearl, the more he felt a pull to join all those feelings. All of those thought patterns and ways of seeing the world made so much sense when he just stopped struggling. It was so easy to just let things work on autopilot, and just deal with whatever comes of it.

"Pearl!" Steven said loudly, trying to psyche himself out of his trance. "What do you see?!"

She didn't answer. She simply moved closer to the Light, bathing in its influence.

" _One can be many."_ She said, in many voices. Steven recognized the tone. He'd hear it before. " _Many can be one._ "

"This again." He whispered, afraid. "What are you doing to Pearl?"

" _Many must be one._ " They said. "Y- _you must be many._ "

"I'm not gonna work with you!" Steven could feel their frustration, their aching to be whole. But he couldn't understand. They had everything they needed, what could they possibly be talking about…? "You have all the diamonds; you have everything that Homeworld has to offer! What else do you _want_?!"

Pearl turned around, and the light in her eyes almost blinded him. It felt so… familiar, somehow.

" _Needs you!_ " She grabbed his hand, bringing it closer to her. He thought she was going to throw him into the Light, but… she just made him look into her eyes, as much as it hurt. " _He needs you!_ I _need you!_ "

"What…?" He asked, incredulous. "Diamond needs me? Who's… who's saying that?"

Her eyes shined even more. He had to stop looking. His eyes closed—

And for a second, he saw.

There it was. His own face on a pink outline of his body. Wearing his jacket, jeans, star shirt. Completely deadpan stare.

It has always been there. Looking at him whenever he closed his eyes. Protecting him when he needed to be stronger. The one time they weren't together, it had hurt so much.

Pink Pearl screamed and let go of the Light. Steven held her, both floating around the source of Diamond's mind.

"It's you." Steven said, looking at the mass of light in front of him. The contour of himself was gone, but it was burned into his mind. "All this time, it's… it's been _you_."

Pink Pearl mumbled, coming back to her senses. "Where… are we? Steven…?" She startled awake, her mind racing. "The Light! Did we do it? Did we figure it out?"

Steven didn't answer. He just kept looking at the Light.

"Steven?" She asked, worried. She could feel his inner struggle but didn't know what to make of it. "What's wrong?"

"I know what we have to do." He said, finally. "I know what _I_ have to do."


	18. CHAPTER 17 - … And Steven.

Morning came, but no one left their houses. When Connie and Lion walked into main street, she was dressed for battle.

Her forearms were exposed, but her shirt-mail was hard and weightless, courtesy of Bismuth. It was all dark blue, with a star symbol on her chest for good measure. Her hair was tied on a ponytail, even if she didn't really have to, considering it was shorter than last time she had a fight.

Her sword felt heavier than usual on her hands. Lion was agitated, darting his eyes around the place like he was about to be attacked. She felt it, too. This whole thing was like a nightmare.

"It's okay, buddy." She said, petting his giant mane. "I'm scared too. But we're in this together."

Lion purred, but the hairs on his body wouldn't come down. Nothing she could really do about it.

A Gem landed from the sky behind her, which startled her far too much for comfort. She turned around, sword in hand, only to find Garnet adjusting her glasses through a smokescreen.

"I've checked everywhere. Diamond is not at the beach, or the ocean."

Connie lowered the blade. "He's not in town either. And no one on Beach City has seen him."

"Amethyst and Pearl are guarding the local Warps. Our new friends in Homeworld have locked the Galaxy Network down, just in case." She looked at the Temple, worried. "Still no sign of Peridot, or Lapis. Bismuth is on that. Going through every old lab, haven or place they would go to."

The girl grimaced, feeling worry wash over her.

"Garnet, do you see anything…? Anything in the future?"

The red giant reached for her glasses again, but she hesitated. "I… don't know." She turned around, as if to hide her face. "I don't understand him. I don't know what he's doing. I just see random futures where sometimes it works out."

"And other times?"

Garnet didn't reply. She just took a deep breath and looked back at Connie.

"Either way, we have to keep trying. Diamond is on this planet, and he's not going to hide forever. The only thing we can count on is that he has a plan. None of this makes any sense if he doesn't."

Connie nodded, trying to look far braver than she felt.

It didn't work.

"It will be fine, Connie." Garnet said, touching her shoulder. "In fact, I was planning to join you for a bit."

"R-right." She replied.

"What's wrong?" Garnet asked, knowing fully well what was wrong.

Connie avoided her gaze. "Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with him."

"Connie…"

"No, I mean, I know it wasn't… _him_ , but… maybe I should have talked to Diamond more. M-maybe then he…"

"Connie, listen to me." Garnet took her glasses off, looking at Connie in the eye. It didn't happen often. Connie wasn't used to it. "Diamond's choices are his own, and those were to ignore all of us, put us all in danger, and plan our demise behind our backs. I don't think he was ever listening to you."

"But he was." Connie argued. "When we talked for the last time, I saw… something inside his eyes, before Steven took over. Like it was the first time that he actually talked to someone."

"That happened to me, too." Connie recoiled. "And we're still here. We can't just assume we could have convinced him otherwise. He just… didn't want to listen."

Garnet put her glasses back on, signifying the end of the conversation. Connie, however, still had a thought in her head that wouldn't leave her alone.

"Steven would have gotten to him." She said, feeling sadder with every word. "He would have made him understand."

Garnet paused for a second. But they both knew how this ended.

"Yeah."

* * *

Diamond was surprised at just how hard it was for people to look up. Connie and Garnet really had no idea he was watching them from the clouds.

His mind hadn't been this sharp since his inception. The more Gems joined his collective, the more he felt truly alive. Less burdened by individual thoughts and more focused on the grander picture. Just the way it was meant to be.

Maybe that wasn't a metaphor. Maybe it _was_ the way it was supposed to be. The thought was becoming more and more seductive to him, every minute that passed. Pieces of a chaotic puzzle fitting together, at last.

But enough dreaming. Reality called.

Diamond summoned Light-Lapis, who showed up flying at his side.

"Lapis, I need you to distract the Gems."

"Yes, My Diamond."

"Don't bother trying to capture them. None would try to fuse with you."

She didn't reply, simply raising her hand to summon water from around Little Homeworld. The rising sprays of water all over town caught the heroes' attention, and Diamond took it as his cue to leave.

"Lapis." Garnet said under her breath, summoning her gauntlets. "Connie, don't hold anything back. You know how dangerous she can be."

"You don't have to tell me." Connie stood on top of Lion, who roared.

Neither saw Diamond fly away towards the Temple, but that didn't stop the other interlopers from throwing spears at him.

The weapons hit him straight on the chest, but didn't damage him that much. He looked around, annoyed, and saw the two plagues that he should have probably expected would be involved.

"Good shot, Pearly." Zappy said, trident in hand. Both Pearls were standing atop a rooftop, having apparently been hunkering down, following Connie around.

"Thank you, Zappy. You too." Pearly summoned another spear, a long and pointy stick that looked more like a harpoon than anything. "It seems obvious he is responsible for our recent experiences."

"Full volley?"

"Full volley works."

Both summoned multiple of their weapons, scattering them around their rooftop. Diamond was so genuinely confused, the situation actually stunned him.

"Do you think you can win?" He asked, charging a lightning bolt on his hand. It was a moment after he stopped talking that a flying fist made full-on contact with his chin, coming from below.

Garnet summoned another gauntlet, smiling to herself. Behind her, a stream of water came to push her away, but Connie broke it with Lion and her sword.

Diamond came back to his senses, dazed and irate. His eyes glowed yellow as his fists crackled with electricity.

"This isn't a fight." He said, furious. "You have no chance. If I wanted to, I could just finish you all."

He raised his hands, and Lapis imitated him. Towers of water raised from the street, and the nearby ocean in the horizon. Garnet tried shooting Lapis with her fists, but the water witch simply absorbed the blow with all that she had summoned. Lion roared and opened a portal in front of himself, turning around, picking up Garnet and jumping into it before any attacks had time to connect.

Little Homeworld was flooded with all the water Lapis could muster, and then electrocuted by Diamond's barrage of lightning. Pearly and Zappy watched, horrified, as the water levels rose quickly to the rooftop they were on. They quickly found themselves jumping to an adjacent, taller roof, but the attack didn't seem to want to let go.

Diamond watched them scuttle for safety, switching to Blue's laser bolts. Two dead-aimed ones would be enough for—

And then the sharp pain of a bite interrupted every thought he had, as Lion's weight brought him down through sheer surprise. The animal had teleported above him, biting down on his descent.

Garnet, with Connie on her shoulders, jumped from Lion's back just enough to gain attitude, and came down on his head with both her gauntlets. The sheer force he was hit with would have been enough to crack a weaker Gem. He didn't expect them to go all out, considering Steven was still a part of the package.

Or maybe they assumed the contrary. Maybe it was therapeutic. What really mattered is that Lion was _really_ biting into him, and it was becoming impossible to maintain proper flight. He tumbled down, struggling with the creature to what was now a current of water, rushing through the buildings like a flood.

Light-Lapis stopped feeding the stream, and directly attacked Garnet and Connie. They had landed on top of a small house that was already being drowned by the current. The human girl jumped on top of Garnet's gauntlet, which then became her own flying platform, going straight towards the attacker.

Whatever water barrier Light-Lapis tried putting in-between her and the projectile was quickly decimated by Connie's sword. Before contact, Connie jumped over the blue Gem, slicing downwards as to try to poof her. Lapis managed to put up a shield above her body but was too distracted to dodge the rocket punch. It hit her body in full, making her fall on her own stream of water.

Connie had nowhere to land, so she found herself taking a dive as well. She put the sword on her back and realized, horrified, that there was nowhere she could swim, and that Lapis was now in her element. Within her vision cone, she could see Garnet jumping on the water as well, fists aimed at an almost-drowning Diamond. The villain was still struggling with Lion, who wouldn't let go of his relentless attack.

Diamond was holding the animal's jaws open, but even if he was heartless enough to kill it, the creature was incredibly strong. He was managing his weight enough to not go down into the water, which he knew would make some of his powers practically useless, considering they involved aiming carefully or electrocuting things.

And then came Garnet, and she seemingly didn't care about the terrain difference. Lion bit down on Diamond's hands, and he had to let go of his head. Garnet made her fists almost as large as the animal, and launched them at Diamond at point-blank, crushing him downwards and sinking him like a rock.

Connie found herself being dragged by the current. It got weaker by the second without Light-Lapis' influence. She managed to hold to a flagpole that she knew was several meters above ground level. And then, suddenly, she was holding on for dear life as the water level lowered drastically.

Light-Lapis was behind her, several meters away, raising the water above ground to construct a giant, with her inside of it. The water lowering revealed Diamond with his feet on the ground, cracking the rocks in his efforts to hold Garnet's giant missile with his bare hands. Lion and Garnet landed on the ground by him, and with the absence of water, the perfect Gem's hands turned blue once more.

Lasers shot in rapid succession towards all directions, as he didn't have time to truly aim. Lion roared once again, taking him and Garnet out of harm's way, but not without its cost. The creature was getting tired of running and attacking, and when it landed back on the rooftop the Pearls were stranded on, it stumbled to find its footing.

"Lion, reach Connie and retreat. Get the others here now!" Garnet said, to which the pink creature nodded and roared once again. The portal almost didn't open. "Pearls, keep Lapis busy. She can't reach us."

Zappy and Pearly were already stockpiling their weapons to throw at the hulking mass of water Lapis was hurling towards their position. Garnet jumped high to avoid the ground lasers that were still coming out and landed on the giant rocket-punch that was keeping Diamond down. She only had a few seconds.

In that short time, her gauntlets became covered with blue lightning, which covered the rocket as well. Diamond screamed in agony, losing his footing and facing the explosion in full. She was hurled away herself, unable to really protect her body from the rocket's impact.

The Pearls threw multiple tridents and harpoons at Light-Lapis, which made short work of individual projectiles, but struggled to maintain her form through their volley. She aimed her fist of water at Connie, still stuck on the flagpole, and the human girl knew that short of a miracle, this was the end.

The walking life-saving miracle known as Lion roared behind her just in time to bring the pole down and grab her. The creature's body was hot and static when they landed, which was incredibly weird for her. But if the silence behind Connie meant anything, is that Garnet wasn't going to stop Lapis for them.

"Lion, can you get me near Lapis?" She asked, to a concerned, confused roar from the battle cat. "I have a plan, don't worry!"

He hissed, which, for his size, sounded terrifying. "It's either this or she drowns both of us, we don't have a choice!"

Lion looked at the giant and did whatever the cat equivalent to sighing was. A large roar rumbled through the streets, opening a portal to wherever Connie pointed at. Which happened to be right in front of the giant's center, and Light-Lapis' main control hub.

The clone startled, but not enough to lose her balance. She made a grabbing motion that unleashed two spirals of water, originating right in front of Connie. But the girl expected something like that.

Lion moved his body to throw Connie towards Light-Lapis, sacrificing his safety and being hit in full by the attack. Connie prayed her friends was alright as she sliced through the water body.

Light-Lapis was so close. She was close enough to realize she could lose to a human girl in less than a few seconds, if she didn't do anything. So she did what she knew would work — instead of fighting her directly, she closed the water around Connie, and held her in place with chains. She felt the water separating her from her sword.

Connie was drowning. The last time she'd fought Lapis for real was when she first left the mirror, and this had been the result, as well. The Gem held her with a water bubble and made sure she couldn't move. She was so close; it was so frustrating.

She almost didn't realize Light-Lapis had been crying this whole time.

It was almost imperceptible within the water body, but Lapis was clearly distressed. Her face was a mosaic of sorrow and pain, but her body kept obeying Diamond's wishes immediately. It was like she could do nothing to stop him from killing her friends.

Connie didn't know what to make of that. She didn't know what to do.

And then a harpoon entered the water body right around her open hand. She, of course, didn't hear Zappy and Pearly high fiving to celebrate a good shot. Connie knew what she had to do.

She grabbed the harpoon and struggled enough to pierce Light-Lapis with all her strength. In the clone's last moments, Connie thought she saw her wording something like _thank you_.

The clone poofed, and the water giant lost all consistency. Connie caught herself thinking that, since it was from that high up, she'd probably feel no pain.

She suddenly felt enveloped by very delicate hands, and her face touched soft fabric that almost felt like it wasn't there. Her deadly fall ended up being a safe, if rough landing, and she found herself grabbing Zappy's body for dear life.

"Thank you!" It sounded silly, but it was the most she could come up with. Her heart was beating too fast.

"You _are_ welcome." Zappy felt too good about herself to really mind how much Connie talked.

"But where's Lion?" Her feet touched the ground, and she looked around in search of her friend.

There was a mass of pink fur laying on the ground nearby. Pearly was right next to Lion, seeing to his wounds the best she could. Connie ran while Zappy turned around and went to grab her sword back.

"Is he okay?" She asked, incredibly worried. Pearly nodded.

"He won't be your steed for a few days, but he should be fine. He's a very good boy." She petted his mane, and he purred, sounding incredibly tired. "Yes, you are."

Pearly's polite demeanor while handling large cats put a smile on Connie's face, but the grunts of effort coming from a nearby crater brought her back to reality.

Zappy approached with her sword, looking in the same direction. Diamond was waking up.

"I'll go." Connie said, grabbing the sword back. No sign of Garnet now that the water had gone away. "There's a bunch of Gems that must have poofed inside their own homes because of that electrical flood they pulled off. Can you girls make sure all their Gems are accounted for? I don't want anyone reforming in a crevice or something."

Pearly nodded, being helped up by Zappy and rushing into the nearest house. Connie didn't say it, but she also knew Diamond was less likely to hunt them down if he couldn't see them. He didn't seem to think too much of them.

The big hole on the ground where Garnet's rocket had exploded wasn't that deep, but Diamond was still a long way away from her while he came back to his senses. His cape was completely gone, and some cuts on his white uniform showed her that, yes, there was still some human aspect to his body, because he could bleed. He had dust and scratches all over, and his massive mane of hair was scraggly and damaged.

Connie slid down to meet him. She had never held her sword so tightly. Pearl taught her not to do that. Stressed her wrist too much. Then again, she didn't think there was anything she could do if Diamond decided to just attack her.

When she stopped moving, they were mere meters away from each other. He blinked as if he had a concussion, but still acknowledged her presence.

"Connie." He said, somewhat wobbly. "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"What do you want, Diamond?" She asked, sounding more tired than she intended. "What did you do to our friends?"

"Friends…" He closed his eyes, trying to stand up. He had Steven's bloodied face. "I suppose they're my friends, too. They're in here with me."

Connie brought a fist to her chest. In her mind, she knew she was just posturing. She wasn't going to stab him.

"Just get _out_ of here. Give us back what you took from us and leave us alone." _Just sound threatening, Maheswaran, why are you so bad at doing that?_ "We've beaten you before, we'll do it again!"

Diamond seemingly remembered his own powers, kissed his hand and brought it to his own head. She saw the pink healing sparkles doing their magic all over his brain, and his eyes opened looking much fiercer than before.

"You have hope. I apologize for that." He said, cracking his sore neck.

"You didn't crawl into this crater on your own, Diamond."

"Certainly not. I was ambushed because I felt merciful. And what are you going to do now? Kill me?" He asked, approaching her face. She'd seen Steven's face from this angle so many times, but to feel this much fear at the same time was torture. "You won't even attack. We both know that."

Her grimace was faltering. Was she really that transparent…?

"But… neither will you." She concluded slowly, in a moment of panic and inspiration. "Otherwise I wouldn't be alive right now."

"Hmm." He grumbled, looking around. He took a long pause before continuing. "You beat Lapis. Very impressive. If only you were looking for a job. My bodyguards seem to have unionized."

Connie lowered the sword, exhausted.

"Diamond, please, just—"

"This is not something we simply talk about." He interrupted, irritated. "You have all made perfectly clear that you won't allow me to do what's right. And _I_ have made perfectly clear that I don't care. Lapis, Pearl and Peridot are the first in a great—"

"Pearl? Peridot?! What did you _do_ to them?" She yelled, sword back up.

"They're fine, Connie! They're all fine."

Diamond moved his hand to the side, summoning clones of all three. They were all motionless, and, more than anything, not looking fine. Lapis was still crying. Peridot and Pink Pearl looked like statues, unable to emote.

"Can you really not see how wrong this is…?" Connie asked, shocked.

She approached Lapis, completely ignoring the instinct to not show her back to the enemy. They were almost as tall, at this point. Lapis did not blink. She just kept slowly tearing up.

"Lapis, I'm… I'm so sorry." Connie muttered, touching her friend's face. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you again."

Diamond couldn't believe it when Lapis' hand moved to touch Connie's. He waved his arms again, and the clones disappeared.

"Stop with this nonsense." He barked, upset. "They're fine. That's just… some sort of leftover from their past lives. Over time, they'll…" He stopped, realizing Connie's gaze could pierce rocks. "What, _are_ you going to attack me now?"

His words were trying to be disarming, but he could see that she was considering it. Obviously, it didn't matter, there was no scenario where Connie would kill him, but… he felt it, for a second. He felt incredibly threatened.

It was even more surprising when Connie put her sword down, sliding the blade into the floor like a sword of legend, and approached him. She never blinked.

"Can you even let my friends go?" She asked. "Are they part of you forever, like Steven is?"

The question caught him off guard.

"I don't know." He said, his pitch slightly higher than usual. A shadow of curiosity passed by his eyes. "I haven't tried. I don't think I can. Their Gemstones are gone."

Connie took a deep breath before continuing.

"Diamond, listen to me." She asked. More of a request than begging, but he could feel her desperation, far away from her tone. "Please give us a chance to stop this before it's too late."

"There's nothing to _stop_ , Connie. This is how the future—"

"For the love of God, stop pretending you're so sure." She raised her voice; which he outright didn't think she could do. "If Steven's even one percent of what you are, I _know_ there's conflict in you somewhere."

"There's no conflict in me because I know I'm _right_." He snarled, trying to ignore a feeling growing behind his head. It was like a stress headache that pierced a specific part of his brain. He couldn't deal with it now. "There's nothing bad about wanting a better world for every Gem!"

"Fine, Diamond, be like that!" She approached even more, at this point yelling. "Then make your Gem Empire, where everyone blindly obeys you! But don't tell me you're not tricking people into going with you! Don't tell me you're not enslaving and using others like they're tools! You think Gems and people are just children you have to take care of, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll hear how _crazy_ you sound!"

"Crazy?" He yelled back, offended. "You people destroyed the Gem Empire and I'm crazy? You let White Diamond loose, and _I'm_ crazy?! You told everyone things would be fine with no order, with no law! Gems don't _work_ like that! We need objectives, we need a structure! I'm trying to give us what we need!"

"How? By making them a part of you? Robbing them of their lives?"

"Seeing as Amethyst apparently ruined my first plan, _yes_!" He opened his arms, frustrated. "If I can't trust Gemkind, then I'll _be_ Gemkind, and I'll make sure everything _works_ this time!"

"Do you seriously not hear how much you sound like White Diamond?!"

"MAYBE SHE HAD A POINT, CONNIE!"

Connie recoiled, frustrated. Diamond's mind was rushing too much to really keep calm. Some sane, logical part of him knew that Connie was not completely wrong. But going back after he'd already pulled the trigger, after he'd already done all of this… _illogical_ was the word that kept coming to mind.

"You don't believe that." She said, looking him straight in the eye.

Stars, the girl was fierce.

"It's not perfect, but one day, it will be." He said, wanting to leave. Diamond's feet left the ground in prelude to his flight. "I'll make it work, and it will all be better."

"Diamond, wait. Don't fly away, just please, listen to me." Connie reached with her hand, which stopped him for a second. "Remember when I said I loved you?"

He looked at her in stunned silence, and utter confusion. Yes, that had been part of their last conversation, but it wasn't…

"I know how it sounded like, and I know we don't see eye to eye. I don't know you that well." She said, pleading. "But it doesn't mean I was lying. You're a part of Steven, you… stayed with me, you tried to make me feel better when I didn't know what was going on. I might not love you like I loved him, but… but I don't hate you, either. I don't _have_ to hate you. We don't have to fight, ever."

He didn't really mean to turn around to face her mid-air, but it happened. This was a whole new experience. He had no idea what to do.

"I want to get to know you." Connie continued, tears in her eyes. "I want to try to be your friend, I want to talk to you more. You… you _clearly_ feel alone, but you don't have to! You made a lot of mistakes, but we can still work through them if you stop before it's too late! That's what this whole town proves! You don't… it's… it's okay to let people in. I know the other Gems told you that, too. That's what we _do_."

The sound of approaching footsteps signified to him that reinforcements were coming. But he stood them, staring at Connie.

"Steven's never coming back." He said, feeling a heavy weight in his heart. "It doesn't matter how much you want him to. I can't replace him."

"Steven isn't what makes friendship work." She said, crying. "Friendship just _works_. We can show you. Just please give us a real chance."

He stared at her as if staring at something completely alien. Every word she was saying hit him in an uncomfortable way. Something was missing, he could tell he was supposed to be reacting to this differently…

"Connie!" Amethyst's voice shrieked through the street. "Connie, are you— oh _crap_."

Diamond turned around, and the band was all there. Pearly held Ruby and Sapphire's Gems on her hands, but Amethyst, Pearl and Bismuth were all waiting for his move. Bismuth didn't seem like she would wait for long.

He looked at Connie one last time.

"I'm sorry, Connie."

And with that, he flew as fast as he could out of there. His heart wasn't getting better. It made him feel odd. The Gems in Little Homeworld would have to wait for their turn.

* * *

Peridot choked on sea water.

She awoke frightened in an unknown location; a pink beach with no discernible beginning or end. The sky was full of clouds and the horizon seemed to go on forever. The only sounds were the ocean water washing in and out, as if welcoming her.

What had happened? She was exhausted. Like something took all her focus away.

"You're awake."

Steps on the sand caught her attention. She turned to the side and saw a Pearl approaching, a hideous scar over one of her eyes, the other exuding a motherly gaze that went well with her small smile. She stopped approaching when a few feet away from Peridot.

"Wh…" The engineer's words failed her. Nothing made sense. She felt like she had passed out and woken up a few times already. "Where… are you… was I shattered?"

It was the only thing she could think of, but the sympathetic smile and head tilt the Pearl gave her reassured her of the situation.

"No, no. You are very much alive. May I be with you?"

Pearl pointed to her side. Peridot sat on the sand, scooching away from the water. Pearl kneeled gracefully, never losing eye contact.

"You must have a lot of questions." She started. "Some of them will have to wait, but I promise things will be alright. It might be difficult, but we'll make it through together."

"I remember coming back home." Peridot said, feeling a headache approaching. "There was an alarm, and…" And then it all hit her.

She got up, frightened of her memories.

"Lapis!"

"Yes, yes." Captain Pearl raised her hands as if dealing with a startled kitten. "It's alright. Lapis can't hurt you right now."

"Where am I?! What is this place?" Peridot demanded, looking around. "Is that… is that a house?"

"It's…" Pearl slowly got up, smiling less. "A better word might be tomb. But we are inside Diamond's mind. You seem to have been absorbed by him through some means."

Peridot stared at Pearl as if she'd said something impossible.

"But I fused with… was that not Lapis…?"

"Lapis is here too." Pearl looked over the horizon, as if scanning the sky. "She simply chooses not to come close to us, currently. She has also been through a lot. We will deal with her later."

The ballerina looked at Peridot again, who started to walk towards the house.

"I must ask that you remain with me, for now." Pearl said, approaching. "You won't be allowed near the place, either way. Steven wishes to be alone."

"Steven?" Peridot repeated. "He's okay…?"

Pearl winced. Peridot thought she was going insane, but she could swear the cracks on her face looked larger, for a second.

"No." She confessed. "Despite my best efforts, he has chosen death over bondage."

Peridot didn't care what Pearl said, she just started to run towards the edifice. It was pointless. She watched the beach extend, denying her closure. It was like a nightmare.

"I'm sorry, Peridot." Pearl eventually walked to her side, touching her shoulder.

Peridot turned abruptly, taking Pearl's hand off her. The short one's eyes were filled with sorrow and confusion.

"You keep not telling me what's happening!"

Pearl looked like she genuinely wanted to help. No words came to her.

Around that time, a pillar of light emerged from the house in the distance, piercing the clouds as if to reach for what lied beyond. Peridot's glasses protected her eyes, but Pearl had to avert her gaze somewhat.

After a while, a prism of blinding light came down.

"So, it's time." Pearl said to herself. "Steven is calling him down. We must go. I will leave you somewhere safe."

"Go?"

Peridot didn't resist her hand being gripped. Pearl guided her away from the house like a child.

"Where are we going? Who's coming…?"

"Somewhere I can control. Steven taught me how it's supposed to work. But I must leave you once we arrive." Pearl said, short. "Diamond is here."

* * *

"What…?" Diamond said, his vision blurred. One minute he was flying, the other he was… where?

It looked like the Pink Room, but it was different. The clouds were still in the expected shade, but the ground looked and felt like a beach. The sound of waves washing out sand overwhelmed the senses, yet there wasn't a single bird or other sound.

He was lying down on the sand, as if he had been stranded there. His limbs felt heavy, but he managed to get up just fine. The Pink Beach extended over the horizon, nothing but an infinite shore.

Diamond scanned his environment and found the Temple's house, right under what he could only assume was the Light of the Diamonds. The house existed without its signature mountain. The door was facing him, even if the building was relatively far.

He tried flying, but his powers failed him. Whatever this was, he was not in control. Not much _else_ he could do, since no exit seemed to exist. Diamond got up and walked, wondering what this was all about.

The door was not locked, and it offered no resistance when he opened it. Inside the house a kitchenette with a desk, an empty chair, and Steven Universe were not exactly what he expected, but it made some sense. Steven was sitting on the other end of a family dining table.

The boy looked calm. He was looking at Diamond with a serene expression, his hands together on top of the table.

"Hi, Diamond." He said. "Take a seat."

Diamond stood on the doorstep, unsure of whether he was safe or not. As soon as he decided to move, the door closed behind him, almost hitting Diamond on the back.

"Sorry about that." Steven said, not looking very sorry. "I'm a bit jumpy."

Diamond looked around. The house hadn't been properly replicated. There was no second floor, Warp pad, or much of anything. It was just the living room and a bar kitchen.

"What is this, Steven?" Diamond asked. "What do you want from me?"

The room seemed to _writhe_ for a second, as if it were made of some living mass that reacted to its environment. Things changed color, size and emitted a wild hum that made Diamond think he was about to get into a fight.

And as suddenly as it started, it was gone. Steven did not seem to mind.

"Please." Steven pointed at the chair in front of him. "I want to talk to you."

Diamond almost shrugged, but ultimately complied. The chair was too small for him, and the table touched his legs.

"I figured it out, Diamond." Steven said, letting his expression soften a bit. "I finally understand."

"Understand what?"

"Why things have been so tense between us. Why you do these horrible things. Why I'm even alive, right now." Steven smiled, but Diamond noticed a hint of anxiety in his voice. "It's my fault."

Diamond didn't even know how to respond to that. Steven was usually the emotive one. This calm, sterile version of his mortal companion was disturbing.

"My decisions are my own. You have done nothing." He said, trying to figure out what this was all about. "If you're feeling guilty for the other Gems, I…"

"No." Steven raised his hand, back to seriousness. "I feel guilty because you needed me, and I wasn't there for you."

Diamond could feel the beat in the air when he paused before answering.

"Steven, you're here for me at all times. I consult with you constantly."

"Not the way you need me to."

A knock on the door, perfectly synchronized to Steven's words. Diamond looked back to find Pink Pearl entering the room, looking as composed as ever.

"Pearl." He said, unsure of how to act. "I wondered if you were here."

She ignored him, walking with her hands behind her back to the side of the table.

"I'm ready," the human said.

Steven grabbed her hand, which made her take a deep breath. She offered her other hand to Diamond. The villain looked at her completely bewildered.

"Do it." Pink Pearl said, monotone. Diamond touched her hand, and—

 _All_ of it came crashing down on his mind.

Like a bolt of lightning hitting his head, his environment acquired a different tone of color. The sensation of the table touching his body, the texture of Pearl's skin against his, the smell of the Beach away from the house… the salt in the air, the things he had done, the things he wanted to do… for the first time in his life, Diamond felt not only himself, not only the world, but he truly _felt_. He appreciated it, he understood it, he— he _hated_ it, he hated himself, he had done _so much—_

It was only a few seconds. He stopped touching Pearl immediately, backing away and knocking the chair behind him.

"What is this?" He demanded, his blood pressure rising. "What did you do?"

"Diamond, that's what it was supposed to be like." Steven said, getting up. "That's what I was supposed to have become. Your feelings."

He looked at the human like he'd just told him the sky was solid.

"I have emotions." Diamond tried arguing, turning on his problem-solving skills. "I can feel. Any measly Gem can… this is ridiculous, I'm completely fine."

"No, you're not." Steven approached. "You know what feelings are. You understand them like you'd understand a show, or a character you can play. Some of them might even leak out from me and hit you. But they're not a part of _you_. They're separate, like you can just use them whenever you want. That's not how things are supposed to work."

"That's... this is stupid; Pearl, tell him what he's saying makes no sense." Diamond said, suddenly unsure if Pearl cared about what he said in this dimension.

"Steven is simply pointing out the basics of fusion, _My Diamond_." She said, disdainful. "All participants of the process become crucial parts of a whole, the sum being more than the elements themselves. The fact that he is here talking to you means that you have assimilated him as much as you have assimilated us. In other words, not completely."

Steven stepped right in front of Diamond, looking straight into his eyes. Diamond's every survival instinct was telling him to leave. The boy never looked this intimidating, regardless of Steven not threatening him.

"Every decision you've made so far has been about results. Everything you took from the Diamonds were their traits, their thought processes. But you're not just a Diamond. You're me, too."

His expression was a sorrowful one, but ultimately resolute.

"Think about it. You clearly like me. You like Lapis, Connie, and Gemkind. Why would you treat people you love like you have? Like they're just things you can use?"

Diamond struggled not to take a step back.

"You know you're supposed to do something with them. You know they're supposed to make your life better. You just don't know what that's meant to be."

"So what, Steven?" He asked, trying to defuse. "Say I believe you, and you're somehow the missing piece to my soul. Did you just call me here to tell me I'm incomplete? To shame me in front of my subjects?"

"Pearl, I can take it from here. Please go wait outside." Said Steven, ignoring Diamond's questions.

She nodded, moving away from the table. She took one last look at Diamond. Any pretense of chivalry was gone.

"I'll always know who you are right now, Diamond." She said, earning a look from Steven. "I'll never forget what you've done, even if the others forgive you. Even if the whole world forgives you. I want you to know that I will never have to do such a thing. Even if you force me, you will never truly speak to me again."

He followed her with his eyes. Pearl closed the door behind herself, and Steven and Diamond were alone.

"What is the point of this, Steven…?" Diamond asked, trying to relax around his counterpart. "Why are you doing any of this?"

Steven closed his eyes and took a big breath.

"Because this can't continue, Diamond. We can't keep living like this."

"We've done perfectly fine so far."

Steven didn't dignify that with an answer. Instead, he approached and hugged Diamond.

A trace of affection seemed to transfer from the boy to the Gem. Diamond's heart grew louder inside his chest, as if he'd been made aware of what was keeping him alive. This felt… strange. Ominous. Nostalgic. Like something about that hug was incredibly familiar, yet so far away in the past he couldn't quite pinpoint when it happened.

"Steven?" Diamond asked, although he instinctively hugged Steven back. "Why are you crying?"

The human looked up, tears in his eyes and a smile on his face.

"I'm saying goodbye. I'm sorry I took so long."

Diamond's eyes widened.

"Wait, Steven, what are you going to do?"

Steven let him go, and he felt a push in his mind. He was being kicked out.

The Light of the Diamonds was outside, at ground level. Suddenly, he knew. Immense horror hit him all at once.

"Steven, wait. Wait!" He asked. He begged. "Don't— wait! Stop pushing me out! Steven!"

"I can't keep watching you ruin your life, Diamond." Steven said, smiling. "I'm gonna give you what you're missing. I think you're right. Together, nothing can stop us."

The boy walked out of the house. The Light of the Diamonds shined so bright, Diamond couldn't even see. It all looked so distant. Steven walked towards the prism of light, almost touching it.

"They're good people. They're all so good. I love them so much." Steven said, crying. He never stopped smiling. "I think they'll love you, too."

"Steven! No!" He almost couldn't see. Everything was going back. He felt heavier and heavier. "Don't do anything! Please! Don't leave me alone!"

* * *

Diamond woke up, face down on real sand, like he'd just had a horrible nightmare.

He was hyperventilating. He was going to throw up and pass out. Everything felt wrong. The worst sense of panic and looming dread he had ever felt.

Steven was going to die.

* * *

Steven breathed for one last time. It wasn't real air, but it would have to do. If he was going to do this, he might as well do it when thinking of something nice.

Connie. Greg. Garnet. Amethyst. Pearl.

Steven Universe walked forward towards his last act of kindness.

_Take care, everyone._


	19. CHAPTER 18 - Closure

"I need to go back." Diamond said, unable to shake off that unsettling feeling in his head. Nothing made sense anymore. "I need to go back, I need to—"

Diamond summoned Pink Pearl, who blinked into existence with the same neutral expression as before. He grabbed her shoulders with no regards for how strong he was.

"Fix this!" He yelled, unable to get a rise out of her. He shook her like it was going to help. "Stop him right this instant!"

"I cannot, My Diamond." She said, unblinking. "Steven Universe makes his own decisions. I cannot stop him."

"What is he going to do?" He commanded. "What did he mean by all of that?"

She didn't answer immediately. Diamond noticed. "Stop trying to figure out a way to not help me! Just tell me the truth, Pearl!"

Somehow, Pearl sighed.

"He will join himself with the mental construct you both refer to as the Light. That will, in turn, join his humanity to the rest of your mind. He will be much like the other Diamonds."

Diamond let her go, stepping back in horror. He felt the blood leaving his face as the realization sunk.

"His personality won't survive that." He said, in a much lower tone. "The others didn't."

Pearl didn't answer. Diamond had enough.

"Talk to me. Talk to me now!" He walked right up to her and yelled at her face. "You can't just let him _do_ this, Pearl!"

She didn't say anything.

"Why are you so _quiet_?!"

"You haven't asked a question, My Diamond." She finally said, with every ounce of irony she could muster in her state. "Please be patient with me. I am just a Pearl, after all."

Diamond lashed out, waving his arm through Pearl's form and blinking her out just as easily as she'd arrived. His head hurt like never before. He saw black and grey spots that told him he wasn't exactly functional.

"Calm down. Calm down. There's still time. I just… I just need people who can talk him out of it. I need to absorb someone who he'll _talk_ to…" He darted his head around, trying to think.

The Temple and Little Homeworld were out of the question. The Crystal Gems would never listen to him. No Gem in Homeworld meant anything to him. Think, _think—_

He was so distracted he almost didn't notice the huge shadow on the ground, getting smaller and smaller in size as Alexandrite fell right in front of him.

The wind and sand buffeted him on the face as the giantess roared, weapons in hand. On any other day, Diamond could probably wipe them out immediately. A well-timed strike, a surge of Blue's emotional waves — he hated doing it, but even just controlling the Gems with White's mind control would instantly end the fight. But today? After the humiliation in Little Homeworld, and after _this_?

He was a little out of his prime.

"Get away from me!" He yelled, floating back to put some space between them. "I don't have time for this!"

Alexandrite just roared. Diamond guessed they were too mad at him to really form coherent thoughts. His thoughts were scattered. Things had taken a horrible turn.

Two of Alexandrite's arms formed Garnet's gauntlets, smashing the ground where he was standing a second before. He managed to fly away — more _dashing_ than flying, really. His Gemstone glowed as he summoned Lapis and Peridot to his aid, to at least to think about what to do next. Light-Lapis attempted to summon the water right behind her to help, but a giant light arrow poofed them as soon as she raised her hand.

The impact threw Diamond off, launching him to the side. He got up, summoning a shield on his left hand. Meanwhile, fire was building up on Alexandrite's closed maw.

"Stop fighting us." Her regular face said, in a voice Diamond barely heard. "Just stop doing all of this. It's never going to stop like this."

"Then just let me go!" Diamond yelled back, not caring about his annoyance. "I have to fix this before it's too late! Steven's almost gone! You have to—"

"More _plans_! More _lies_!" Alexandrite spat, disgusted. "All you've been doing is leading us all into your schemes, figuring out ways to use us. We're _done_!"

A violent, hot feeling was building up inside Diamond's chest. Of course, they were right. He knew that on any other occasion, he would have no reason to believe himself, either. But stars, Steven was going to do something stupid, and he couldn't just _show_ them, the only people who could possibly help… they were wasting so much time. He was so sick of it. He was so sick of all of it.

"Leave me alone." He said through clenched teeth. "Just let me do this. Just let me help!"

Alexandrite's fire breath was unleashed onto him with great prejudice. The circular shield on his hand grew to cover his whole body, but the Crystal Gems were strong. While they unleashed their fire attack, her arms prepared an arrow, which almost pierced his defense immediately.

The shield was cracking. The warmth of the fire was melting sand around him into glass. They were trying to kill him. He knew it couldn't possibly be true, but it didn't matter. His survival instincts were through the roof. Through the pink veneer of the only barrier between him and certain doom, he could see gauntlets and arrows being prepared, anything to keep the barrage going.

_Just stop. Just stop. Just stop!_

"Stop! STOP!" He yelled, his Gemstone shining in every color it could. All that pent-up emotion in his chest, everything he never interacted with, just— "LEAVE ME _ALONE_!"

Waves of color burst from his Gemstone. First yellow, then blue, then white, then pink. Every one of them seemed to affect Alexandrite differently, but just the first one was enough to stop the attack and severely wound her. He couldn't quite tell, though. His vision was blurry, and his head felt light. Like something snapped in his mind.

Alexandrite screamed at the barrage of attacks. Her light form started to disappear, change shapes, and then finally crumble into her components. Diamond held his head with both hands, kneeled on the ground as everything he couldn't understand just kept bursting out of him.

Amethyst and Pearl immediately poofed under the stress. Garnet stood her ground for a few extra seconds, just enough to see Diamond almost as distressed as they were. And she poofed wondering if there hadn't been a better choice, in all of this.

Even though he was already on his knees, Diamond felt weak. The only sound as far as he could hear was his outburst, continuously emanating from him like poison. His hand shook, and he felt like he hadn't slept in days. He hadn't. He hadn't eaten, drank, slept or anything that he knew he didn't _need_ to do. He shouldn't be allowed to feel any of that, how…?

Oh no.

"Steven." He whispered, feeling an overwhelming sense of dread washing over his body. "Please no, please, don't be too late, _please_."

Shut everything out. Shut out everything that he didn't understand. Logic, objectives, rules, that was the way to go, not… not this _despair_.

Deep breaths. Manipulate your mind. Focus. Maintain balance. The waves started to recede inside him. The sounds of the ocean by his side were getting louder and louder. The pain was going away. Everything was going away. One could be many. One could be one.

There was only Diamond.

The Gem slowly got up, almost as if waiting. His mind was completely blank. His heart was barely beating.

He felt a hole in his chest, like a piece of it was missing, but Diamond paid no attention to it. Every mental blockage he could put up was on at the same time. Every level he could manipulate was being used all at once, compensating for anything that Steven was trying to do. This wasn't sustainable, but it gave him a moment of rest.

The Crystal Gems were on the ground, poofed and defenseless. But he couldn't deal with that right now. He needed help. He couldn't quite come up with the words to justify it, but he needed to talk to _someone_.

In his mind, he knew there was only one person who Steven would ever listen to. One person who could talk him out of this, if Diamond absorbed them into the Void.

Diamond didn't know for how long he could maintain control, or what it would look like when he lost it again. He took a deep breath and flew away towards his objective.

* * *

A heavy knock on the van's door woke Greg up. Last night had been productive, but it meant he slept late. The man grumbled his way out of bed and reached for the doorknob, trying to form a cohesive first sentence.

"I'm coming! Hang on, it's really early—" He tried saying. It probably didn't come out like that. Either way, his words stopped when he saw Diamond's hulking body standing outside.

Neither of them said anything for what felt like way longer than a few seconds. Just the sight of the man had Greg completely awake, and honestly, somewhat scared. The Gem looked rough, too. Scratched and hurt all over. And, also, Greg had never seen Diamond look at him _quite_ like that before. Not exactly like a predator, but clearly also not as a friend.

"So, uh…" Greg asked, eventually. "Can I help you?"

Diamond looked _slightly_ surprised at the tone, like he was perfectly content with staring at each other all day. But he replied on beat.

"I hope so."

"Okay." Greg looked behind himself, and the van barely had enough space for him. "You wanna get something to eat, then…?"

Diamond pondered on it, then glanced at the car-wash. "Yes. Can we go in?"

"Yeah, lemme just… get dressed, I guess."

Eight minutes later, Greg was staring at Diamond from the little kitchenette on the back of the car wash. The place had clearly been renovated with a small budget, and, if Greg was pressed for answers, it was an old bathroom he reformed to have a kitchen sink, a small fridge, and an induction stove. Complete with a little bar set up. He didn't think Diamond minded that Greg put the bar between them. He also didn't think it made him safe.

The Gem previously known as his son drank a glass of water, sitting on one of the tall stools. He was looking down, like a cliched drunk about to open up to the barman. It was 7 in the morning, Greg had a lard stain on his tank top, Diamond's wounds were healing in front of him, and there was no alcohol in this establishment.

"What a way to start the day, huh?" Greg asked, trying to break the ice. Diamond looked at him, and the geometric shape in his eyes gave Greg shivers. "You don't look too good."

"You could say that." He finished the glass of water, putting it aside. Greg grabbed it and filled it up again, just in case. "I need your help."

"Yeah? With what? Oh, uh, you were hungry, right?" Greg turned around and opened his fridge. "I have some hot dogs in here, some eggs. I could make us breakfast."

And that's all it took.

"Hot dogs?" Diamond repeated, in a strange tone that didn't befit him. "Um… yes, actually, that… that would be great."

Greg started prepping the food to boil, trying to relax. From what he'd seen, and what Pearl had told him, the situation was bad. And Diamond wouldn't have come here for nothing.

"Great, just a couple of minutes." Greg turned, and Diamond was still looking at him. "What can I do you for, buddy?"

Diamond's mouth twitched, as if showing a hint of discomfort.

"I'm not sure you want to address me as that."

"Alright." Greg scratched the back of his head, uncomfortable. "How should I call you?"

"Diamond. But I think you knew that." The Gem grabbed the glass of water, staring at it. He could almost see his reflection. "You were the first one who noticed."

"Yeah. Kinda hard to ignore. I'm your dad… um, Steven's dad, after all."

"No, I…" Diamond said, feeling remarkably exposed. He could also hear his own gears turning. "I… consider you my father, as well."

Greg smiled. "Well… that makes things easier."

He moved closer to Diamond, gently grabbing his hand. Diamond's hand was a little larger than his, but Greg was surprised to notice how soft they were. Not a lot of guitar sessions, he guessed.

"What's going on, son?"

Diamond stared at their joined hands and almost didn't notice Pink Pearl's powers taking over him. Greg's immense love and respect for Steven — and for _him_ , — overwhelmed his mind in such a way that he froze. He felt his whole body reacting to this sensation, and in the depths of his mind he wondered if this is what Steven felt like, all the time.

He was going to cry. He could feel it.

"Whoa. Is everything okay?" Greg asked, and Diamond needed to break their physical contact before Greg's feelings of worry got to him. He had no idea Pink Pearl's powers were so strong. How did she deal with this?

"No." He admitted, smearing his eyes with his hand. "No, nothing is okay. The Gems are looking for me. They want to…" Diamond paused. What _did_ the Gems want to do to him? "They want to stop me."

"Stop you from doing what?"

He sighed. "There's… every Gem has a purpose. No matter when they're made. You must have noticed that." Greg's dumbfounded stare told Diamond otherwise. "Rubies are usually soldiers. Tourmalines are usually scientists. Pearls are usually servants."

"Oh, you mean their jobs. Right, Pearl told me about it."

"Steven was a perfect hybrid, but I'm… four Diamonds and a human. I'm much more Gem than man. And Diamonds are made to rule. To make sure everything's working perfectly."

Greg raised an eyebrow but didn't interrupt. Diamond took a sip of water.

"And since I was made, I… I've tried doing that."

"Uh-huh. And how's that worked out for you?"

Diamond grabbed the glass so hard, he accidentally shattered it. Greg startled back, almost hitting the wall.

"Okay!" The man said, frightened. "Alright!"

"No, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that!" Diamond quickly apologized, trying to pick up the pieces. "The hot dogs are ready."

"What? Oh crap!" The water was boiling over the pan. Greg turned the heat down and started preparing their food.

Diamond managed to grab all the shards, licking his finger and trying to fix the object. He was so distracted with the healing process that didn't realize Greg had finished setting their breakfast up.

When Diamond looked up, there was a plate of four hot dogs in front of him. Bottles of ketchup, mustard and relish on one side, with some chopped onions in a jar on the other. One day ago, the appeal would have been completely lost on him. Right now? He could feel his stomach grumbling throughout his body. Like a new organ that had just woken up.

"Here ya go. I gotta admit, I'm starving after that scare."

Diamond didn't reply. He was staring at the food like it would attack him at any point. Like everything else did.

"Um, do you… know how to eat them? I don't really know how your fusion works."

"Y-yeah… yes, I can eat them." His palms were sweaty, his stomach was turning. Was he sick? _Could_ he get sick?

Diamond reached for one of the buns, trying his hardest to not tremble. He took a bite out of it while Greg put some ketchup on another, and…

He couldn't really explain it. It wasn't the taste, or the experience of eating; he'd eaten before and would do so again. It wasn't the fact that Greg was in front of him, or any of the mechanisms in his mind malfunctioning. It… might have been a combination of all of these. Or maybe he was just so tired. Maybe this plan wasn't worth it. Maybe this was all a mistake.

"Diamond?" Greg asked. "Why are you…?"

Diamond couldn't stop crying. He could barely see through the tears. The food fell on the counter, and he felt like he might pass out.

"I don't know." He said, not bothering hiding the fact that he was scared. His thoughts were going a thousand different places. None of it made sense. "I don't know, I… G-Greg, I ruined everything."

Greg walked around the bar and put his arm over his new son's shoulders. Diamond found himself hugging his father as if it were second nature.

"It's alright, Diamond. Don't worry, just tell me how I can help."

"I went too far." Diamond dug his fingers on Greg's shirt, as if he would fall if he didn't hold on to something. "I just wanted to do things right, but I just kept _going_ , and _going_ , and now I can't stop anymore. If I don't finish it, it was all for nothing, and… I-I hurt _so many_ people."

He felt Greg hugging him more, but was painfully aware of the man's uncertainty.

"Well… I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm sure we can fix it together. Nothing's too far gone."

Diamond's sobs echoed in his own head, as if it was a strange sound that he'd never heard before. He felt like he couldn't breathe or see straight. _Is this what dying feels like?_ , he wondered, unaware of how dramatic he was being.

"I just…" He tried saying through the tears. "I can't stay here. I can't live on Earth. It drives me mad. But I exist to do what's _right_. And what's… and no one wants to…"

This felt so unnatural. Diamond felt like he was going to shut down. It all just kept pouring out, but it was far more painful than the waves from before. At least those were physical. This was… torture.

Greg didn't say anything. He just made himself present, giving the Gem a shoulder to cry on.

"Greg, I'm sorry." Diamond said, separating and looking him in the eye. "I'm sorry I took your son from you."

Greg winced. "It's not your fault."

"I don't care. You're the only one who deserves to hear this." Diamond's heart felt like it was about to burst. "I'm _so_ sorry I'm all you have, now. This is so unfair to you. I-I shouldn't have come here, I should leave, I shouldn't…"

He choked on his words, not sure what he was trying to say. Greg looked at him as if wondering what Diamond needed to hear. Finally, he sighed and touched the other's shoulders.

"Don't apologize like that. This was Steven's choice, and it was Rose's choice before him. I'm… sad it happened, but I love Steven. And that means I get to love you too, even if I wasn't ready to say goodbye." A pause, maybe to recompose himself. "But… Diamond, you don't have to be perfect. You don't need to be what you think you were born to be."

"What?" Diamond asked, a large migraine starting to form on the back of his head.

"You get to be whatever you _can_ , Diamond. You're gonna make mistakes, and you're gonna hurt people, just like everyone else. But if you learn from it, and if you commit to making things better… you might even be able to fix what you broke.

The way Greg put it felt tailor-made for him; had this always been _available_? Could he just have… _talked_ to Greg all this time?

"Listen, Rose, she… used to say she was going to love being Steven. That every time he loved himself, that was her. And I think Steven can be that for you, too."

Diamond's tears stopped, even if his entire face was still uncomfortable. His expression froze, like he wasn't sure how to make multiple parts of himself function at the same time.

"Uh, Diamond? You're gonna fall if you keep leaning like that, and you're _really_ heavy." Greg said, gasping for air slightly as Diamond kept putting weight on his arms.

The Gem let go of him, grabbing to the counter. The stool had been seconds away from turning.

"Sorry."

Greg just smiled. "You look like you have a lot to figure out."

He didn't answer. The trembling was gone, but his mind felt stuck in something. An incredibly fast vehicle that couldn't take off. All that came to mind was the impetus for this talk.

"Greg, I haven't told you why I came here." He said, feeling the weight of every word. He had to come clean.

"Oh? I thought you needed help. Wasn't this it?"

"I came here to…" Diamond's mouth was dry. His heart was beating as fast as he knew it could. Stars, was anxiety something he was just going to have to _deal_ with? "I…"

The sound died on his lips. His head was a mess of new sensations being connected to our experience. The look in people's eyes when they dealt with him was paralyzing his thoughts. Lapis looked so dejected. Captain Pearl looked so angry.

Greg shuffled uncomfortably for a second, eventually touching Diamond's shoulder again.

"Hey, listen, Diamond." The man said, friendly. "It sounds like you don't want to talk about it."

"I really don't." He was quick to say.

"Then you don't have to today. But, if you're serious about feeling like you screwed up, then you also have to be serious about making up for it."

The Gem didn't respond. Greg kept going.

"You said the Gems are after you? Is that why you're so hurt?" He nodded. "Then we'll go talk to them. You stop… doing whatever you were doing, you explain yourself, and we deal with it. Somehow."

"But," He stuttered, turning around on the chair. "But I took over Homeworld, I tricked people into… Greg, I…" The trembling was back. "I shattered… I shattered Jasper. I didn't do it, but I made it happen."

The human very clearly took a step back in shock. His face got whiter, and his mouth stood agape for a second. Diamond knew this was it. He was going to scream at him and run away, and then the rest of Diamond's life was—

Greg closed his eyes, and stepped forward again, breathing deeply. When he opened them again, he was resolute.

"You will work, and we'll get through it." The words barely made sense in Diamond's ears. He couldn't even blink while looking at Greg. "That's horrible. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. But we'll make it. We just… you came here, you want to change, we have to—"

Diamond hugged the man again, who, at this point, also looked like he needed a hug.

"Ah, gosh, Diamond. I wish you had talked to us before." His father hugged him back, rubbing his back. "But there's no point in thinking like that. We'll figure something out, one thing at a time."

Every word Greg said added to his feeling of guilt, but he didn't run from it. For the first time in his life, guilt felt earned. This felt like it was meant to be there all along. The missing piece in his head.

"Why are you like this?" Diamond asked, feeling like he was going to cry again. "Why don't you hate me?"

He didn't even expect an answer. He didn't expect it to break him, either.

"Come on, Diamond. You're my son too, remember? I love you."


	20. EPILOGUE - Hopefully Good Enough

_The Artificial Blue Moon of Homeworld._

_'Nora' Colony, two years later._

"I don't believe we have the necessary resources to avoid a crisis, My Diamond." Light-Tourmaline said, scrolling through reports.

The House of Brilliant Assembly was packed that day. All the Blue Moon's representatives were brimming with their requests and reports. The faint glow of Light-Tourmaline's body clashes with some of the artificial light illuminating the large room. Diamond watched the absorbed Gem relay to others what they had discussed at length in the last few days.

The round table had space for the 10 most influential Gems on the colony. There were a couple interest groups waiting for their turn to talk, but the first general meeting of the day was about the inherent problems of living in an artificial satellite, and their relationship to the Gem metropolises of Homeworld and Earth.

His uniform had no sleeves, but he kept the boots and the mostly white color scheme. His shoulders had blue and yellow streaks that went down his sides, and his collar had a pink outline that connected to a star symbol on the middle of his chest. His hair was tied behind his back, tamed like a well-behaved mane. The pink tips were less prominent nowadays, but he still had a couple of blotches of color here and there.

Although the mood was tense, he was still smiling.

"That's assuming negotiations with Earth fall apart, though." One of the Gems asked, looking at her own holographic files. It was Fire Agate, ever the pragmatist. "I thought things were going well on that front."

"Yes, but they haven't agreed to our terms _yet_. If we don't find a way to support our population soon, we might have to find a different source for crucial revenue. Maybe a new moon, or maybe older colonies…"

"Tourmaline, we're not attacking anybody." Diamond interjected. He knew how the woman was. This behavior had to be culled now. "Can you contact Peridot at the Beach? She was asked to be kept informed of proceedings, and said she was willing to talk to Bismuth about Little Homeworld's role in this."

"Yes, My Diamond." Light-Tourmaline said, returning to his Gemstone.

Tsavorite, on the other end of the desk, wrote down some notes on her pad.

"I will check Tourmaline's data again, and my laboratories will be available for anything we need. Put it down on the records— I don't agree with her, I think we're much better off than she makes it sound like. I'll make a detailed report about it soon."

Diamond turned to Fire Opal, who had been waiting for her turn to talk.

"Well, I'm pleased to announce that the Quartz Family has decided to open their communication channels to us."

She couldn't stop smiling, and Diamond didn't blame her. The negotiations for cessation of hostilities had been going on for several months now. She continued:

"They've informed me that they're in the process of choosing three diplomats, one for each kind of Quartz in their respective armies. I believe the Rose Quartz and Jasper in question have already been chosen, but the Amethyst representative is taking a while longer."

"I have a pretty good idea of who they're gonna go with." Diamond replied. "This was the last item on the list for today, correct? Is there anything else that you need me for?"

The scuttling sound of Hessonite trying her hardest to find the right screen increased in volume as Diamond's sentence died out.

"Oh, um, hold on—" Hessonite scrambled her many holographic pads, bringing out snickers from her peers. Eventually, she turned the hologram around. "Here! The second city is finally ready to be occupied!"

"Really!" Diamond exclaimed, genuinely pleased. "I thought your progress was halted because of the environment."

"Oh, yes, it was, but we got some help from Little Homeworld." She said, excited. "It took some doing, but so many Gems volunteered when we told them about it!"

Diamond just nodded. This was a pleasant surprise.

"How long until we can send people to live there?"

"The first couple hundred Gems will relocate in two weeks, after we give everything a once-over."

"Well, I hope you enjoy being Mayor, Hessonite. You've been looking forward to this." She gleamed at the words like a child. "We're lucky to have you."

"W-why, Diamond, that's far too much."

The bug-like Gem tried physically dodging the playful gazes coming from the rest of the Assembly. It had taken some doing for people to learn how to work with her, but once you got to know Hessonite she was actually pretty cute.

"What are you going to call the settlement?" Diamond asked, moving on.

"Um," Hessonite immediately changed her demeanor, becoming uncomfortable in a whole different way. "The, uh… Little Homeworld Gems actually had something to request. They said they would only help if they could name it…"

"Oh? And what did they want?"

She shuffled on her seat, darting her eyes around the room. "New Beach City."

The room went silent. The stifled laughter from before was replaced with absolutely nothing. Diamond's eyebrows went up.

Then he laughed. The rest of the Assembly looked at him, dumbfounded. His reputation had changed, but to just _laugh_ like that at a meeting… must be a pretty great day.

"We don't even _have_ a beach!" He said, between laughing fits. "That's phenomenal. Please let them know any of them is always welcome."

"I… y-yes, My Diamond!" Hessonite smiled again, incredibly relieved.

"Well, the floor is yours." Diamond said, standing up from his chair. "Let the claimants in, and make sure to write everything down. I won't be back today, but if Tourmaline or Peridot are needed, you just have to call me."

Many nodded, but many others were already deep into their own discussions, giving out orders and arranging for the rest of the day. He felt incredibly calm to just leave things to them.

Diamond walked over to the Warp Pad and let the lightways take him to Earth.

During the trip, he let the uniform transform itself into something more appropriate. Gone were the Gem clothes, replaced by a pink Hawaiian shirt, blue pants, black open sandals, and his hair was free to run all the way down to his back.

The main Warp Pad at the Temple was much different these days. There was always someone standing watch to make sure checks and balances were followed. Not everyone from the Blue Moon was on good terms with Earth or Homeworld, and vice-versa. Traffic was usually manageable, but Gems didn't have a great concept of off-hours, so it was constant.

The Temple's reconstruction as a Warp hub had taken a little while, but in the end, it had been for the better. No one really lived there anymore, and with so many independent colonies following Nora's example all over the galaxy, it has become a place to police the Network.

Today's shift was Eyeball, Corundite and Spinel, which threw him for a loop.

"Oh, you." Spinel said, making an ugly face. "Welcome to Earth."

"Hello Spinel." Diamond tried being friendly, but the pink Gem had no time for that. "How are you?"

"Working." She spat back, bringing out a computer screen in front of her face. "Can't really talk."

It would never not be hostile. Fortunately, Corundite and Eyeball were there.

The dark Gem looked much better now that they'd managed to revert some of the Editing done to her. Her Gemstone actually looked cut, now. She still had no eyes, but she was fairly stable nowadays. Besides, her inherent Sapphire abilities served her better than most types of vision. Eyeball was very much her eyes to the world, which he always thought was ironic, in a pretty dark way he didn't share often.

"Greetings, Diamond." She said, in a hoarser voice than most Sapphires would have. "You have a scheduled visit today, so everything is in check. You are expected to either renew your stay or leave within the next three Earth days."

"Thank you." He smiled at both. Eyeball did not smile back. "Peridot is staying here in case the Gems in Nora need her. Please contact me if anything goes wrong?"

Corundite nodded, and Light-Peridot came out of his Gemstone. She looked around to center herself, and immediately got hugged by Spinel.

"Hey, you." Light-Peridot said, smiling. "It's great seeing you too, will you stop choking me."

"Never!" Spinel didn't care Diamond was still there, which probably applied to most of their relationship. "Oh, Bismuth's gonna be so happy you're visiting!"

He decided to leave. He didn't want to see Bismuth, if she showed up. No fighting today.

The sight of the beach outside the Temple always made him nostalgic. Diamond scanned the environment with his eyes, realizing there were very few people around today. Good.

He floated up a hill, where his appointment awaited him.

Greg was fine-tuning his guitar, sitting by a tree. He had a picnic towel on the ground, a bass laying on his side, and a few hot dogs and pork chops, still warm.

"Oh, hey big guy!" Greg said when he saw Diamond coming in.

The Gem landed, giving him a hug.

"Hi, dad." The words never felt incredibly easy to say, but he always tried. "Thank you for having me. Things have been hectic at work, I haven't been able to visit."

"Sounds like running a colony isn't easy." Greg sat down, pointing at the food. "Hey, I made us lunch if you're hungry."

"Oh, stars, thank you so much." Diamond kneeled and grabbed a pork chop. "It's so hard getting food up in Blue Moon!"

He chewed down on the meat, letting the taste wash away a hard week's worth of stress.

"I will force this species into becoming carnivores if it's the last thing I do."

Greg laughed, eating a hot dog in one bite.

"You seem alright." He pointed out. "Happy, even."

"All the hard work is paying off." He said, grabbing a napkin and cleaning his own face. "I just have to arrange some things with Earth, but… I think Blue Moon is really going to work. The Gems that chose to live with me are really excited for it."

The human kept listening, reaching for the guitar that was on his side. As Diamond talked, Greg tried a few chords, never forgetting to chime in with questions and interest. Music was second nature to him.

"How many people are with you, now? You know, _with_ you."

"A few dozen Gems." Diamond said, reaching for a hot dog. "I still can't believe people just _want_ to be a part of me now. It's bizarre. I thought that the prospect would make them wary, but all of them volunteered. Everyone just wants to help, and now they get to combine their talents."

Greg smiled. "And um, is everyone good with that?"

Diamond didn't meet his gaze, with a mix of shame and embarrassment all over his face.

"Almost everyone. Peridot eventually came around when she saw she could help the colony. I think boredom got to her, but she also really missed working on things like that. And I have Tourmaline looking for a way to unfuse with the Gems if they ever change their minds, but she hasn't gotten back to me on that in a while. She… did seem hopeful, but nothing yet. Peridot says most of the other Gems don't mind the wait."

Of course, not all of them.

He took a glass of orange juice and downed it in one go. A little gloomier, he added:

"Lapis doesn't talk when she comes out."

"You said they get to come out whenever they want, and just be themselves now, right? When they're out of… what, the Void?"

"It was the Void before, but the whole place is a Beach now. Because of…" He stopped.

"Because of Steven. I think you told me that part."

Greg's gaze finally lowered, focusing on his guitar for a little bit. A few familiar chords filled the air. Melancholy and nostalgia, two things Diamond knew well.

Diamond wondered if this was a good day to do this. Maybe he should just leave.

"Well, I hope things work out with Lapis. I know you like her a lot." Greg finally said, his face a little sadder, but his smile just as genuine. "I never talked to her much, but I'm sure she'd like _some_ of the things you're doing."

"I'd hope so." Diamond said, uncertain. Another glass down the hatch. "I don't think I really deserve to talk to her, after everything I put her through."

His dad seemed to want to say something, but gave up, taking a breath and smiling again.

"So!" Greg moved on, grabbing the bass from the ground and handing it to Diamond. "You've been practicing?"

"Ah, I try, but I've been really busy. I pick up instruments back home whenever I can." He took the instrument and put it on a comfortable playing position. "I don't understand how this is so hard. Every Gem is good at music. It's literally just math, why would it be so hard?"

"I wasn't that great at it either, at first."

Diamond stared at Greg like he had said some heresy at him. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it takes a second." He played his instrument, filling the air with music. "It's just another way of communicating, like a new language. It eventually clicks, and you start seeing the world differently. Everything becomes music. But until then, you gotta try hard."

Diamond took a second to think about that. Then he tried emulating what Greg had done. The song came out graver and more guttural, but it still came out.

"It sounds odd with a bass." The Gem mentioned, not managing to hide a smile.

"Well, you said you liked the bass. Why not try to compose something for it? It's just math, right?"

Diamond kept playing. He got up to five chords until it sounded off and ruined the melody. They both laughed it off a little.

"That might be nice."

They played for hours. The day was pleasant, the clouds were white and fluffy, and the sounds of the ocean filled their ears when the music stopped. These encounters didn't happen often, but Diamond insisted on visiting whenever he could. It was part of a long list of things that were all the least he could do.

"That was a great session." Greg said, in the end. "Thanks for showing up, Diamond. I hope I didn't take you out of any important business."

"Oh, you know how it is." He said, smiling. "Everyone has their role to play. It's not just me running that place."

Greg nodded while packing up.

"Sunset is still a few hours away. Do you have anything else to do today?"

Diamond flinched slightly. "Yes, actually. Just… not sure if I should."

Greg's brow furrowed for a second, until he realized what they were talking about.

"Oh! Yeah, she's…"

"Yeah."

"Right, right." He closed his guitar case, as if figuring out what to say. "And you… uh, it's all good? You don't need anything from your old man?"

Diamond's eyebrow shot up inquisitively.

"What do you mean?"

Greg shook his head, laughing at himself.

"Well, if you need me, just shout and I'll be there, okay?"

"Thanks. That actually means a lot." Diamond got up. "Can I still leave the bass with you? I know you gave it to me, but I'm afraid I'll lose it with all the mess in Nora."

"Don't worry, big guy. I know a thing or two about hoarding stuff." They laughed. Greg laughed for longer, trying to ignore his own existential dread. "Good luck, Diamond!"

Diamond nodded and flew away towards town. Greg watched his weird old son fly away with the usual mixture of emotions. But the sorrow was going away faster, now. This time, he got to enjoy feeling well from the interaction.

* * *

Beach City never felt like home.

The city hadn't really changed since he left. The small buildings, the food court's smell, good people smiling and engaging in hijinks. Even after Steven truly joined him, the place never appealed to Diamond at all. The citizens were fine folk, but better appreciated from a distance.

When flying, he always saw Gems that he recognized. Far too many people he had no business approaching, at the end of the day.

He was almost at his destination when he saw two Gems he hadn't expected to see that day. After careful consideration, he decided to land.

"Hello." Diamond announced himself. Garnet and Pearl watched him land closer.

Garnet had two ice creams cones, one on each hand. No food for Pearl, as usual. Just surprise.

"It's good to see you two." He continued, hearing the creeping voice in his head saying he was being a bother.

Maybe this had been a mistake. Maybe there was still time to leave.

"Hello, Diamond." Garnet said, with her regular nonchalant tone. "Here, we got you ice cream."

She offered him the vanilla cone, as if washing away his worries.

"We did?" Pearl asked, confused. "I thought you just wanted two."

"Not everything I do is in twos, Pearl." Garnet answered, smiling. "Only most things."

Diamond grabbed onto the cone. Vanilla _was_ his favorite; he was surprised she knew.

"Well, it's surprising seeing you around here." Pearl continued. "It's been a while since we visited Nora."

He nodded, looking around the park they were in. He recognized some people, but most were new faces, especially the fusion population. Diamond stared at a blue and yellow Pearl for far too long before realizing who that must have been, and immediately dedicating all his mental energy to not looking at her anymore.

"Anything new around here?"

"Oh, you know how humans are." Pearl said, waving her hand in playful dismissal. "Everything just kind of keeps going for them, always different but still the same."

"It's been fine." Garnet said, far less romantic. "Amethyst was here just last week, you missed her."

"I think I'll have to deal with Amethyst a lot more now." He replied. "I believe she's going to be the Quartz Family's ambassador for Amethysts."

"Oh my stars!" Pearl covered her mouth in pride. "I _must_ talk to her about it! What a great honor! Oh, I was so worried when she decided to stay with her friends…"

"Well, from what I hear, she's been doing great." Diamond concluded, pausing for a thought. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt you two going out?"

"No, no, although I do have a daaaaa…"

As if suddenly realizing what she was about to say and to whom, Pearl stayed on the syllable, embarrassed. She looked at Garnet, and then at Diamond, and then at Garnet again, before blushing like a plum and completing her sentence.

"…aaa _ate_. With Greg. Later tonight."

Pearl looked around as if she expected the world to end at any moment. Garnet pet her head.

"We're just walking, checking out the city. But you're not here to see us, are you?" She smiled. "You're not the only one visiting today."

"Can I really not just show up randomly?" Diamond asked, dubious.

He didn't have to see her eyes to know that Garnet was playfully raising an eyebrow. Pearl was far less subtle, smirking and crossing her arms.

"Is it that obvious?" He admitted. Now it was his time to feel embarrassed.

"Nice of you to check in, Diamond." Garnet said, finally. "Go meet your friend, she's waiting for you."

He smiled, thankful for the good welcome. Last time there had still been a lot of awkwardness, but they seemed genuinely okay talking to him now.

"Thank you. I mean it."

He took flight again. It _was_ getting late. He had a schedule to keep.

Garnet and Pearl watched him leave in silence. Pearl felt tears coming. Garnet put her hand over the other's shoulder. It helped as much as it could.

"Please tell me he's coming next time." Pearl asked, softly. "It's… still not easy."

"I'm sorry." She replied, her voice tired. "But we need to go through these moments, too."

"He didn't look as bad as last time. Must be a good day."

They watched him land and disappear from their vision. A weight left their shoulders, as if somehow he was still nearby until he completely vanished.

"He's doing his best." Garnet said, her voice cracking a bit. "That's all we can really ask for."

"I just miss Steven." Pearl replied. The tears still came, but it was okay. Somehow. "I can see so much of Steven in him, now."

"Yeah." Garnet knew this moment would happen a week in advance. It didn't mean she didn't want to cry. "Our boy might even be proud."

* * *

Diamond took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell. Maybe it was late, she wasn't home anymore, he should have probably called—

"Coming!" He heard her say, from inside the house. He was so nervous.

Connie opened the door, and he always had to blink twice to get used to looking at her. She was growing into a beautiful adult. Her hair was shoulder length, she was wearing a white blouse, blue shorts, and had a star necklace around her neck.

"Oh, Diamond!" She said, pleasantly surprised. "It was getting late; I didn't think you'd make it."

"I apologize for the delay." He said, trying not to fidget. "I met some people along the way, lost track of time. But if it's too late we can meet later; I think we have a meeting scheduled with the Assembly in two weeks, and…"

"Hey, it's okay." She said, grabbing his hand. "Come, oh _Diamond Authority_ , I'll make us some tea."

She laugh at her own pompous emphasis. He was playfully dragged indoors by the incredibly thin, tiny woman in front of him.

"Very well, esteemed _Earth Ambassador_." He repeated the gag, calmer. "But I _refuse_ to talk business tonight."

The Maheswaran household hadn't changed much. A few new pictures were up, a few old pictures had been taken down. They had acquired a newer television, and the couch was a slightly larger blue model. Still had the awful flower stamps.

"Where are your parents?" He asked, as Connie went to the kitchen.

"Oh, they're on this sabbatical trip, actually." She poured water on the electric kettle, turning it on. "I'm visiting for two weeks, but they're only back in a couple days."

"I see." Diamond said, unable to not smile.

They were alone. They rarely met alone for long.

"How is college?"

"It's going great! Political science is fascinating, and being an intergalactic ambassador counts as extra credit. I might graduate early, but I'm thinking I'll use the last year to pursue another Major."

He heard the kettle's _click_ noise, and in a few seconds, Connie was back with two mugs of warm tea. The night was getting colder, so he appreciated it.

"It's nice seeing you." She said, in a wispy tone of voice that he liked.

"It's nice seeing you, too." He said, sipping on his peppermint tea. "I'm glad I could take a small break."

"Look at you, resting instead of working." She laughed, drinking. "How's that working out?"

"A strict schedule of 36-hour days." He said, looking at the bottom of his cup. "If I don't stop and rest for at least 6 hours every cycle, all members of the Assembly have the right to tell me to shut up and go to sleep. Whenever my mandate is done, the rule will probably follow the next Authority, too."

He drank more, looking at Connie. The warm fumes coming from her mug touched her features and made her almost shiny. Diamond thought it was fascinating.

"The lack of food is harder to deal with. Even if I don't _need_ it, I still miss it. But that's just another reason to visit Earth, at the end of the day."

"Wouldn't it be bad if all Gems started eating? Resources-wise?"

"Probably, but I miss sugar _so much_." He said, getting a laugh out of her.

Connie was a master at changing subjects while making you believe it was still the same conversation. It was a skill Diamond wish he had, himself. He was about to see it in action.

"And… how are you?" She asked, a notch tenser than before. He almost didn't notice it in her voice. "Like, really?"

Diamond thought about it. He absentmindedly toyed with his tea bag, making it rise and sink in the liquid. The question hadn't been that hard; he had a couple answers ready whenever people asked similar, but… it was Connie. He couldn't really hide much from her. She was most of the reason any of the people he met today didn't attack on sight, after all. She and Greg were the ones who advocated for him, helping him settle back, supported his plans for Nora…

Yet here he was, the result of all that effort, struggling to find an appropriate answer.

"I'm fine." He decided. "It's hard sometimes, but I'm okay."

"We don't really get to talk much outside of work, I've been meaning to check in for a while now…" She put her cup down, looking at him. She was wearing her worried expression with pride. "Are you still having nightmares?"

His lip twitched, tight. He drank a little more, even if it was still too hot to really enjoy.

"Occasionally." He looked at the window and wondered if it was going to rain tonight. It had been such a beautiful day, too. "It's Pearl."

Dreams of pink clouds and rough seas. Giant statues and large structures. A horrific feeling of being watched from within, judged every day, every night, every second. Panic. Remorse. Depression. The looming, unspoken understanding that this was all he had to look forward to, for all eternity.

And then he would wake up in a cold sweat, sometimes with a shield on his hand. If he was lucky, he'd get back to sleep in a couple hours. If he was _luckier_ , his screams hadn't attracted anybody's attention.

Connie shifted her hands, as if unsure of how to position them on her lap.

"She never comes out?"

"Never. At this point, I don't think I can call her out, even."

"How's that possible?"

"She made it possible." He genuinely didn't know, and the other Gems who came out refused to explain it. Eventually, he learned to stop asking. "I still can't access the Beach, either. She found a way to keep me out permanently. But the others keep me informed. She's doing okay, I think. She takes care of all of them. It's apparently a whole… whole little town, now."

"Wow." Connie said, smiling. "That sounds like Captain Pearl. Mayor of Diamond City."

They both snickered for a second, saying in unison: " _Captain_ of Diamond City!"

It was a fun distraction from the subject. Diamond kept looking at his reflection at the bottom of the cup. He could never truly hold anything from Connie. He didn't have it in him. Not anymore.

"Lapis is always doing what she wants." He said, not looking at Connie. "She comes and goes as she pleases. I think she's Pearl's eyes on the world. Keeps me in check, I suppose." Drink more. The tea was almost gone. Soon he would have to talk without distractions. Terrific. "Sometimes our eyes meet when she's coming in or out, but never… I haven't heard her voice in years. She looks right through me. Like I'm not there."

"I'm really sorry."

He finished the cup, gently putting it on the table.

"That was great, thank you."

Connie also finished her cup. She kept staring at the bottom of it, for a while. But finally, she sighed and asked:

"Do you like it there? Up in Blue Moon?"

The question didn't catch him by surprise, but he knew it was still a touchy subject with people who stayed on Earth. A lot of people thought he got off easy. A lot of people would rather he didn't come back when he decided to make a colony.

"We're doing better." He kind of wanted more tea, or just more to consume. It made pauses easier to justify. "Some Gems just like structure. And it's a good community. Everyone involved wants to be there. We had a rough start, and it's not perfect, but…"

"But do you _like_ it, Diamond?"

She leaned forward. It didn't approach them in any significant way, but it did make her eyes look that much bigger.

He didn't know if that part was Steven, or himself over the years. He always wondered if it made a difference, given the circumstances.

"I mean… you left Earth and Homeworld, and I've been helping however I can for two years now, and it's still not… I mean, you never… are you happy? Do you have friends there?"

The genuine concern she felt would never make sense in his head. Despite it all, she wore her heart on her sleeve. They could do whatever they wanted with this private time, but she would rather make sure he was okay, instead of… he didn't even know.

Diamond couldn't do it. He could never have formed any sort of connection with someone like him, had their roles been reversed.

"I have people who want to make that colony a better place." He ran away from the question. "I… I never thought it was going to be _easy_ to set up a place people like. But I do see a brighter future for them. And with so many other colonies deciding to be completely independent, maybe… maybe even a brighter future for the galaxy. One day."

Connie's back touched the chair again. She didn't seem very convinced.

"I just worry about you." She explained, trying not to sound too bothered, and failing miserably. "All alone on that moon, surrounded by people who just want to work more, never interacting with the Gems who just want to live there… isn't it lonely?"

Her gaze was so hard to dodge. She knew his weaknesses like the palm of her hand. Connie was so good at politics; it boggled the mind.

"It is." He decided to drop the pretenses. What good would it do? "It's lonely. Every day when I wake up, I wonder if I made the wrong call. Some days I'm sure I did."

He felt a pause in his own thought process. Diamond pondered on whether to continue with the next thought. The question was not whether Connie was trustworthy; it was whether she cared too much, and would suffer for it. He hated being a source of discomfort.

But the deal was no more secrets. At least not between them.

"Sometimes I think I should have been shattered after all." He watched her face harden, like the phrase both brought up bad memories and generated new, unpleasant ones. "Whenever I see Lapis, I know she would do it in a heartbeat. I think Pearl told her not to. It's worse for me that way."

"Diamond…"

"I know it's what some people still want." He interrupted her, as gently as he could. His eyes looked beyond the living room. "I never blamed Bismuth for saying those things, or Spinel. I know Amethyst must think similar. I understand, I… agree, even. But I just can't let it end without doing something good. Steven didn't die for nothing. He can't have. I'll change things for the better, in a way he would like. Maybe just a colony, or maybe… maybe the universe, I don't know. I don't know if I'm allowed. But I can't not try."

He saw Connie pursing her lips a bit. Diamond didn't know how much she talked about Steven to people, but he knew it would probably never be enough.

This wasn't fair. Him being there instead of Steven wasn't fair. Steven would have been on his way to 21. An adult. Would him and Connie be married? Would they be planning their future together? Children?

Regardless, there she was, leaning towards Diamond again. Not asking for anything for her trouble. And it _was_ trouble, he knew it was. So many people didn't talk to her anymore because of how much she associated with Diamond.

He managed to ruin things even without being there.

"Amethyst doesn't think that. I talk to her a lot." He heard Connie said, and realized he was barely paying attention. He lost himself in his thoughts a lot. "I think things might turn out fine with her."

"Hm." He didn't mean to sound dismissive. It was a bad habit. "I suppose we'll see it in the meetings."

"Diamond, I know I asked before, but… please be honest. Are you okay?"

He sighed. Maybe this is what this reunion had been about.

"I am okay sometimes." Diamond said, with a tone of finality. "And I think that's okay."

She didn't seem convinced, but also didn't know what else to say.

"Besides, I'm not alone." He said, smiling weakly. "I have you, don't I? You're not getting out of those meetings any time soon."

That did seem to cheer her up. She took a deep breath and tried coming back to what would, ostensibly, be a good night between friends.

"Well, tell me if my diplomatic skills ever bore you, then. I'm great at sword fighting." She played, getting up and grabbing their cups. "And I hope you had time to read Spirit Morph Saga this month, because I have some _big_ feelings about the place you stopped at!"

"I can assure you _Destiny's End_ is complete; I can finally keep up with your favorite couples, and all the reasons I disagree with them." He chuckled, watching the woman go back into the kitchen.

His heart wasn't exactly light, but it was lighter than it had been all week. He rubbed his Gemstone and wondered if Steven could still see him. If he was in there, somehow.

All Diamond could do was hope that this was good enough.

* * *

_You don't have to call  
_ _But I would appreciate it anyway.  
_ _You don't have to write  
_ _But I still miss the way we played._

_We're always us, I'm always us,  
_ _Are you always us as well?  
_ _It's hard to remember a time when  
_ _I wasn't me and you._

_Sometimes it's nice to think about  
_ _All the trouble we got in together.  
_ _And it calms me down me when I remember  
_ _We'll always be birds of a feather._

_No matter where we are,  
_ _Whenever I feel blue,  
_ _We're always on my mind, and I think  
_ _We are on your mind, too._

_No matter who I am,  
_ _And no matter who you are,  
_ _It's hard to remember,  
_ _It's hard to explain,  
_ _Every attempt is always in vain,_

_It's hard to remember a time  
_ _When I wasn't me and you._


End file.
